A funeral is never a fun place to be but it's one of those times where you see people that you only see at funerals (and maybe the occasional wedding). We were nervous but the last time we saw some of them was 3 years ago, others 4 years ago at the last funeral and others still...our wedding 16 years ago.
It was an evening of double takes and non-stop compliments for us. I think every single person who said hello to us or was introduced to us by the Mr's mom had nothing but compliments, questions on how we lost weight and it was a huge and much needed ego boost. We hate to admit it but it feels a little vindicating to a degree to have a few people who looked down on us now walking a mile in our old wide width shoes. I don't wish massive weight gain on anyone (okay, maybe a few people but I'm trying to be nice) but I hope people who treated us less than in the past now understand that was not okay since they were the same weight or more when comments or looks were made to us. For once, I felt like some people were proud of us and it made us both feel a little less black sheepish.
We were gracious accepting compliments, stood tall and most of all, we finally felt confident and worthy. I know that we are all worthy of feeling good about ourselves no matter what weight we are but I think many of you can relate that feeling bad about yourself can translate to the outside without even realizing it. I now look at many pictures where I remembered thinking it was a good picture or that I was happy but my body language said something else. I haven't felt that proud of us and that motivated to keep on going in a while. Well, I'm always proud of him but I haven't felt that way about myself in too long. It's re-stoked that fire in me to just keep pushing and to make even more jaws drop the next time we see those people. That might sound selfish to a degree but given some family members resigned us to being fat and on the road to various health problems like they were/are. It's good to show them that no, we have no plans of joining the family destiny. That you don't need to be 20 years old to lose weight and hopefully inspire some of them to look within and realize they didn't have to accept the life they're living right now. I saw far too many canes, people sitting because they couldn't take standing for long periods of time and such and I just said a prayer for them all that they finally get the wake up call we were lucky enough to get. I mean, a funeral for someone dying younger than they should, should be a light bulb moment.
So while it was a sad occasion to gather together, I have to say I'm more excited than ever to keep going full throttle down this pathway.
Have you ever gotten an ego boost from an unconventional place?
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A vet tech at my vet's office & her daughter. Totally out of the blue. Her daughter was one of my former students (who was still at school but had a different teacher) had had told her about my weight loss and when I took my cat in she made sure to congratulate me from both of them.
ReplyDeleteI guess you just never can tell how things are going to go when it comes to my family. I was so proud of us though. It was definitely a boost we needed at a time when we've been struggling and it kind of reinvigorates me. I guess if anything good can come from losing someone, it can be getting along better with my family for once.
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ReplyDeleteu deserve all those compliments and I hope some of them got inspired and get on board...I remember one ur cousins doing it..way to go:)
Manasa
You *should* be proud of yourself! I think when you get stuck at those plateaus, it's easy to forget how far you've come. Seeing yourself through someone else's eyes is a nice reminder of all that you've accomplished.
ReplyDeleteWell, hot damn! Hooray!
ReplyDeleteOne of the things I admire most about you is your honesty. Yes, I've got to admit to those same feelings of vindication, secret pleasure in the karma (must watch out that it doesn't boomerang!) and most of all, pride in myself when someone gives me a genuine compliment.
ReplyDeleteMy ego boost from an unconventional place is still a treasured memory from a trip to Puerto Vallarta in 2005. We had taken a jeep tour into the countryside and made an unscheduled stop at a zipline tour that was being newly constructed. I had never ziplined before, but was persuaded by the owner's 10-year-old son to take a ride on the shortest and lowest line. It was so much fun that I followed him on the next one, and then there was a scramble up a steep hill to the start of the last one in the short circuit. At the time I was about thirty pounds heavier than I am now, so I was getting out of breath, and called to him to slow down, saying in my broken Spanish 'I'm old.' He turned around and asked, in English, 'How old are you?' I told him, 'old enough to be your grandmother'. His face broke out in wonder, and he exclaimed, "Senora, you are amazing!" Made my day!
Sorry for the death in your family, and I know the funeral wasn't about you it was about paying respects to the deceased but only blind or closed eyes would have missed your change.
ReplyDeleteYay! Glad you had an ego booster after your stinky start to the week!
What a wonderful outlook....glad to hear it all went well. :)
ReplyDeleteYour words ring so true to my ears. I silently and incorrectly relish when I realize I weigh less than people who I know looked down on me for my obesity before. In fact one of my goals was to weigh less than a very vindictive and loud-mouthed woman I have worked with for years. She used to be quite thin, but has sure put on the weight over the years. I would say I weigh at least 75 lbs. less than her now. She is always acting like she is losing weight, but I never see any indication that might be true. It gives me a great deal of satisfaction and I know that's mean, but I can't help it. Glad you got the compliments and accolades you deserve. Who knows, you might have inspired some of those people to finally do something themselves. I know that desire has to come from inside a person, that there is nothing somebody else can say or do to you to get you started on a healthier lifestyle and inspire you to lose weight, but maybe seeing you got some of them thinking that they should follow your lead. And I also can identify with that feeling you have aobut yourself, the confidence and pride you feel in what you have accomplished is well deserved. The weight definitely affects how we feel about ourselves, and when it comes off, we have every right to be PROUD! Sometimes I feel a little guilty for some of the accolades and recognition I have received for losing weight. I think, "But I am the one who allowed myself to get this fat. So why should I feel proud that I finally lost weight?" But I do feel proud....and I'm going to a friend's daughter's baby shower tonight and I haven't seen a lot of those people since before I lost weight. YES....I'm looking forward to their compliments. I am glad that it's not a funeral I'm going to however. But then we have to take our moments wherever we can get them. I will admit, if I was still fat, I probably would just have skipped this baby shower. But I want to show off my weight loss. That might be wrong, but it's how I feel.
ReplyDeleteI so understand that feeling of motivation to kick butt and look amazing the next time you see certain people or family members! It can feel like a lame reason to be motivated or even petty. But I say motivation is motivation cause some days what normally motivates us isn't enough or you just don't care at the moment and so any motivation to do what you should, as long as it gets you moving, is a good thing. I am 26 and have struggled with my weight for the last few years. Issues dealing with certain family members and finances being bad and looking for work not resulting in anything has put me where I allowed myself to gain 40 lbs that I can't seem to take off. I've since moved away from the family who was giving me grief at the time and slowly things are progressing and moving towards getting better. I believe that my issues with my weight is just one more thing on my list of things that with time and hard work will get better. But I sure as heck can't wait to see the looks on those family members faces when that happens, and to think "hell yes I did this, I proved you wrong, I have amounted to something great, and I will never allow you to have a say in the faith I place in myself"
ReplyDeleteI'd say it's about damn time, but that might be meant for your side than his if I remember...still, what a great feeling to know that there is no doubt that people are seeing your hard work. Bonus if some of them remember it when they need to. Have a good weekend, Mrs.
ReplyDeleteI got hit on by a baker at Panera Bread tonight. He was really nice and charming, and he kept smiling whenever he caught my eye while I was waiting for my bread. As the lady was bagging my stuff, he came out with a free baguette for me.
ReplyDeleteBrent was waiting in the truck, and when I got in, he was all, "What are you looking so proud about? You look like a cat with a mouse." I just said, "Free baguette!" and didn't tell him what happened. Hehe.
It was a good feeling, though. I haven't been smiled at like that since I met Brent nearly three years ago. It was a really great way to end a crappy day, and now I want to work extra hard to get to the point where I stop feeling shy and start feeling fabulous.
Recently went to a family reunion with my husband's side of the family. Many people hadn't seen me since Christmas and although I don't see any change in myself since then, they did. The compliments were awesome and made me want to work harder. Also, I hope that in some small way, I inspired them. I participated in a 5K in April and posted that on my blog. My husband's sister told me that inspired her think she might be able to do one too. She said, "I thought, if SHE can do it, so can I." His other sisters were also curious as to what type of working out I was doing. I go to zumba once a week to get out the house. They told me they weren't sure they were brave enough to do that but I tried to encourage them to go for it. Step out of the comfort zone. Its what I had to do and I'm so glad I did.
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