Wednesday, November 30, 2022

It's Okay to Say "Enough"


Before I get to the (additional) struggles I've been dealing with for almost two weeks, I want you all to know the Mr 100% supports me posting about this.  I asked him if he was comfortable with it and was worth sharing because it paints someone in his life in not the best light.  He said it was more important if one person could benefit and to hell with what anyone thinks.  He too, has had enough.

***

I'll give you a condensed backstory as I've done in a few posts over the years.  I met the Mr when I was 17 and he was 19.  He's got two sibs both older by less than 10 years but not close enough they could ever attend school together.  One sib decided to betray him to break us up very early on in our relationship and trash talked me to the family.  The only person who ever gave me a chance was his dad whom we lost in the early 2000's.  (Boy do we miss him.  He was the best!!)  I was never good enough for his mom.  I tried so hard over the years to do what I thought she wanted.  To be who she wanted me to be.  To retain just enough of authenticity in her presence to not betray myself but maybe try to be the daughter she never had.  I would spend WEEKS on the edge of vomiting due to the anxiety of family gatherings the first five years and it would take a week after for my body to finally right itself.  We're talking anxiety attacks from hell with all the evidence I needed at each one from her to confirm my trepidation.  I never even had them much before I was faced with someone who openly looked down on me and knowing I was going to be scrutinized all evening.  The only solace was knowing Dad would be there to balance things out.  The Mr is not particularly close with his mom and never has been so the things people try to say about 'mothers and sons' doesn't really apply from his end.  What does apply is the Mr has been a people pleaser his whole life and a lot of that has to do with her and trying to make someone incapable of being truly happy, happy.  I'm not saying that to be mean, it's an unfortunate truth and one the Mr will be the first to tell you.  For reference I will also give you timelines when I refer to years.  We've been together 31 years at the end of December.  We've been married for 26 1/2 years.  When I refer to 25 years, I am referring to the amount of time we were together before the supposed 'bury the hatchet' moment.)

Flash to 5 years ago on one of our birthday outings that I suggest we do with her.  She was talking about an ex-SIL who was basically well, I'll just say not someone any of us were sorry to see divorced out of the family.  That SIL did a lot to take advantage of the wedge already between my MIL and I and put crap into her head even though I hadn't spoken to that SIL in almost 10 years at that point.  After the Mr constantly telling me nothing he would ever say to convince his mom of how much I loved her, wanted to be part of her life, etc would sink in, I took control and laid it down.  I let her know I had not spoken to that person in over a decade, she did not speak for me and I didn't know what more to say except that I loved her (his mom) and I don't know what else I could say to convince her.  We had a big heartfelt moment in the middle of a store, got teary eyed and forgave each other for the past.  It was a moment the Mr and I had been waiting for for 25 years.  You have no idea the relief we both felt when I finally penetrated this barrier created by his sibling and later the SIL in her brain.  I spent the next years (and honestly even the ones before that) making sure I made her favorite Christmas cookies for her or making special trips to get candy from their hometown, both of which as the Mr pointed out over the years, I was never thanked for but I was happy to do it.  I liked to get thoughtful gifts, express my love for her and let her know that she was thought of and cared about despite what she used to think of me.  After all, the past was the past.  Right?

Wrong.

A couple of weeks ago, we came home from a walk.  There was a gift on our doorstep that we assumed was from her but no note.  The Mr went straight upstairs while I hopped on the computer.  Our VM translates and emails a copy of the transcript.  I see it's his mom's number and it says she left something on our porch.  I guess she thought she hung up but she didn't.  Oh yeah.  You know where this is going.  She's talking about our neighbor and then all of a sudden, she starts talking shit about me!  This is literally 20 seconds after she dropped off a Christmas decoration that clearly wasn't given with the Mr in mind.  The email translator is always a little off so what I was reading didn't seem to make sense so I pulled up the voice mail.  Yep, she's talking smack.  I yelled up to the Mr "hey, wanna come down here and listen to a voice mail of your mother trashing me?"  There's a butt pucker moment every husband wants to hear when he thought 25 years of bullshit was behind him.  Ahh, the things you learn when someone thinks they've hung up the phone.

She was in the car with someone and our doorbell cam could actually match up what she was saying to our voice mail.  The most fun one to hear is how I forced him to get married when we did (The Mr was actually older than when his brother got married!) and he supposedly flunked his last college class because of me.  Both of those NOT TRUE given we were engaged for two years and planned the wedding around the fact he was supposed to be graduated by then, as well as some other flat out lies she was telling this person.  (The school one pisses me off royally because while yes, he did his homework at our house after work, *I* helped him study if he needed it.  I even did it after college for classes and certifications he needed for jobs after we were married.)  

For me, there are two things you don't do- betray my trust and make an ass out of me for taking you at your word.  She did both.  I asked the Mr who wanted to handle it because it was getting handled and I was more than happy to forward her the VM telling her we got her gift as well as the trash talking session and leave him out of it.  He called her and needless to say, it got ugly.  The kicker?  She's not sorry.  She literally emailed me asking what she ever did to the Mr for him to not come around and she's "sorry what she said was hard to hear."  I want you to let that sink in for a second.  She blamed US for her choosing to talk about 26 year old bullshit to a stranger and made herself the victim when confronted.  My response to her about why her son doesn't call?  "You're asking the wrong person.  Talk to your son.  I will not be your go between."  Those issues are LONG before I ever showed up and he dreamt his whole childhood about moving away so 'people would miss him.'  What does that tell you about how he felt treated in his own family?

I wrote a response to her more as a way to get it off my chest but initially I wasn't going to dignify her spin session where she blamed US for making her talk bad about me with an answer.  When I read it to the Mr, he said "send it.  It's to the point, it's not mean and if you want to send it, I support you."  She began badgering us both with emails/texts despite us both telling her we needed time and would not be addressing this before the holidays.  Her boundary crossing skills are Olympic level and she has always refused to take responsibility for her actions so this is no exception.  Her role as perpetual victim is tiring and draining to justify.   There is a phone call that's going to happen in the new year where the Mr will address why he doesn't call or come around.  There will be nothing in writing that she can bring up on the phone to pass around the holiday table, show the mailman or her card club.  It will not be a scheduled phone call so she can have 20 excuses at the ready though given her immediate victim blaming to the Mr I suspect she always has them at her fingertips.  She asked for answers, she will get them and a long list of examples of her toxic behavior, negativity and gossip that has made the Mr not want to bother.  

I was perfectly fine to go on my way as I had the previous 25 years before the supposed reconciliation knowing she didn't think I was good enough for her son with no real explanation as to why.  I knew my place then.  I knew it was futile and I had accepted that and come to terms with it.  What I can't accept is knowing what her true opinion of me that she spouts to everyone who will listen and more importantly that 3/4 of it was factually wrong.  (Like to the point the Mr was like "what is she talking about!?  That never happened!")  I suppose it should say something that she had to go back decades to spill anything but that was one of what we know are many gossip sessions about us.  I'm not assuming.  That is literally all she does when we're together is gossip about other people and particularly likes to focus on death, misfortune and her favorite- judging others.  We weren't stupid enough to think she didn't do that about us but we figured the worst she could say about us now was that we didn't come around or call much.  (Apparently texts and emails don't count.)  Yes, I am very aware of the saying "what other people think of you isn't your business", in fact, I quoted it in my response to her.  What is my business is placing my trust in someone who doesn't deserve it.  A person who has hurt me and put me down pretty much from day one.  When I heard that message- I went right back to being 17, shaking for hours and an unworthy piece of crap.  I didn't deserve that especially when on the walk we were on, one of the things we talked about was when to get together with her safely!  What an idiot I was.  I take people at face value and have no reason to think they're literally giving me a gift with one hand while stabbing me in the back with the other.

I want to make it absolutely clear, I completely encourage the Mr to have whatever kind of relationship he wants to with her.  That is his mother and I have never once, regardless of how much I was looked down upon and mistreated by her over the decades, told him to choose between us.  I wouldn't do that.  But it's also no longer my place to go out of my way to give thoughtful gestures for someone who doesn't appreciate them.  It's not my place to encourage him to call or text her to get his 'stock up' with her because if he wants to have a relationship with her, he will.  I have made that clear to him that I do not force relationships with people who clearly don't want them with me and he understands that.  

It is okay to say enough.  

There is someone out there with tears streaming down their cheeks because they know what I'm going through.  They've nodded their heads yes to the betrayal because they've felt it too and have been told to 'keep the peace' or 'it's family.'  I'm sorry but it doesn't all fall on the woman to have to be the one to keep the peace and make herself smaller to make her husband look bigger.  You can bow out of situations that are unhealthy for your mental health and anyone that doesn't understand that can piss off.  There needs to be a conversation between the spouses that is calm and level headed.  Present your case, how it affects you and come to a mutual understanding.  If you're not close with your parent(s) and they ask why not or what they ever did...tell them.  Yes, its an uncomfortable conversation to have and maybe things won't change but in the end, you will have spoken your peace and left nothing unsaid.  Most parents/people will not ask and then these lovely webs of lies get spread about you for decades.  90% of what people who aren't close to know about you is what they hear from other people's experiences with you.  That's a lot of filtering, perspective and potential misinterpretation going on and yet no one ever asks the source(s.)   So when she asked for answers about the Mr, it was not my place to speak for him.  I did tell her how hurt and disappointed I was in her and how she asked what she ever did and I said I'd like to know what *I* ever did to her other than love her son and have his back for over 30 years now.  In the end, I told her I accept that she didn't like me for whatever reason but I was just sorry I was dumb enough to believe her when she said the past was in the past.  

I refuse to jump through hoops for someone who has no intention of ever accepting me the way I accepted her when I thought we were through all of the old BS.  I'm too old to jump that high.  If this long into our life together she still doesn't like me...that's her problem, not mine.  She told the Mr maybe this was a good thing for their relationship.  (You see the theme, yes?)  Yeah, I can understand how getting caught trashing the woman he's been with for almost 31 years and spreading lies about both of us will improve things but who knows.  If they end up closer, good on them.  I will focus my efforts on people who have not spent my entire adult life trying to make me feel less than.  I am sorry it turned out this way and I'm sorry to anyone who can relate especially as the holiday season is upon us.  You may have just gotten through Thanksgiving only to be dreading Christmas.  You may be a former holiday lover who now spends any time past October 1st dreading what is coming instead of soaking in the season.  I used to.  Take stock in yourself and how you want to be treated.  Have discussions with your spouse about how to move forward and what that looks like.  And FYI it shouldn't always be just you 'taking one for the team' in order to keep everyone else's peace but your own!  I know if kids are involved it can be more challenging but people do it and the kids still have a relationship with their grandparents.  Consider talking to a family therapist to devise a proper plan so that both you and your spouses feelings are considered and the well being of the children is at the forefront.    (Or if they're booked up- go on Reddit and start a thread. 😄)  Boundary setting is imperative and stick to it especially when it's hard.

You're enough.  I'm enough...and I've had enough.

So yeah, that's what we were "thankful" for this holiday. 😕

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Monday, November 28, 2022

Post Thanksgiving Weekend Recap

Howdy do, all?  I hope my American SATW fam had a great holiday and had so many leftovers, you never want turkey and taters again.  (And hope the rest of you had a great weekend.)  Our Thanksgiving was just us which makes it feel like all I did was cook a bigger dinner than usual.  

(ALL the carbs and Grandma's noodles were medicinal.)


It didn't feel very special which sucks but the things I miss about holidays are things I can never have again.  I did talk to people and was kind of quickly reminded the things I wasn't missing.  😕  We recorded the parade and fast forwarded through the crappy parts (which would include the attention hogging diva taking away Santa's screen time on the Macy's version) then watched the dog show until they showed they were going to screw the Toy Fox Terrier again by not showing it so we were done with that.  We watched A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, stuffed ourselves beyond limits to emotionally eat from an incident a few days prior, walked off some potatoes at the park then napped.  




(They must've known it was safe to emerge by 4:30pm)

I got the Mr's presents wrapped which felt good.  I still have some shopping to do which is unheard of for me.  Also no tree up and have no idea when/if that's happening.  The Christmas cards I have sent out on Thanksgiving eve for 26 years?  Haven't even touched or thought about them.  

Saturday was a repeat of Thanksgiving with leftovers but add in some football and that's about it.  I did get to working on my curtains for the bedroom which is finished for the most part.  Yet another thing that should've been simple with the addition I wanted to make for the panels but of course turned into a crap fest and it's like "really?  THIS is going to fight me too?"  I finally grabbed the Fabric Fusion and said screw it to add my fringe that began to unravel the second I cut it.  So over it all.  I think we were able to enjoy like 3 minutes of looking around at the room and feeling accomplishment last weekend but that was it.  That was a joyless project for both of us pretty much the whole time with every task throwing it's worst at us.  The stain fumes are still just strong enough to make me wake up every morning with an irritated throat and congestion.  I've kept the window open even in 34 degree weather, used vinegar, lemons, activated charcoal pouches, baking soda and all of the tricks but it is making it irritating to sleep in there if the window hasn't been open until just before bed.  

More universe taunting.  

(source)


Sunday I had a whole list I sent myself in an email of what I wanted to get done.  (Well, I wanted it done Friday and Saturday but...I digress.)  I got like 1/3 of it done which is more than it was starting to look like by 4pm.  The previously mentioned curtains got hung after much lamenting and much more BS to contend with than what I mentioned up there.  I thought curtain hooks were included in the blackout panels I got.  They were not.  The Mr grabbed some from the store.  As I was hooking the panels to the curtains, I saw the blackout panels were too wide.  *insert looming mental breakdown*  I looked up the panels to order the correct size.  "Sorry- we don't have a size that will fit your panels.  Jank it, missy."  What else is new?  So I folded in the side and hooked it through 2 layers of fabric while cursing at it because these curtains could bite it.  We went to install it with the remaining blackout rod I got from a two pack a few months ago and there was a huge snafu there and it looked like after we drilled holes it wasn't going to work *insert actual mental break and tears* but the Mr was able to finagle and get it hung.  Then I steamed them as best I could and hissed at them when I walked by.


I started unloading the bins back under the bed and will go through the space bags today for any stuff that I may have kept for no good reason.  I've already got a small pile started so I'm ready for The Purge Two:  This Time- She's Over It.

We're both in a bad mental place and dealing with bullsh*t we shouldn't have to outside of all of that.  (Hence my absence last week.)  I scrolled back through my one happy year and it feels like 'damn man, where's the happy!?'  We've had a LOT this year which we seem to be saying every year and it's taking a toll.  Neither of us knows how to pull ourselves out of it so I guess we ride it together and hope we don't drown.

How was your holiday/weekend?


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Friday, November 25, 2022

What I'm Reading This Week #47

Happy Friday all!  Does anyone do Black Friday stuff anymore?  I never have but wasn't sure if that was still a thing since most stores have supposedly had month long deals.  I hope all of my American peeps had a great Thanksgiving whether it was a full on family bonanza that makes you look forward to (or dread) Christmas or low key like ours.  

Now let's get to:







The Best Way to Wash Your Dirty Pillow, Without Making it Lumpy  (Better get on this.  Or maybe just buy a new pillow.  Pffft.)

5 Subtle Signs Of Insecurity That'll Kill Any Relationship  (Good things to be on the lookout for.)

Don’t Throw Away Those Silica Gel Packets! Here Are 14 Ways to Reuse Them (Ooh, some really good suggestions!  We just unrolled a ton in an area rug.)


Tips for Tighter Miters and Better Coped Joints  (Good tips.  Don't worry Mr, this just popped up in my feed.  I wouldn't be dumb enough to suggest any projects.)

60 Clever Stocking Stuffers the Men in Your Life Will *Actually* Use  (A few good suggestions and some the Mr actually has but some real head shakers too.)

67 Decor Ideas That'll Seriously Upgrade Your Christmas Tree  (Yes, please!  I saw an idea about making sachets with essential oil to make your fake tree smell real.  I think that'd be a nice mindless project.)

I don't have specific plans.  I know the Mr will be watching football so that'll leave me free for whatever.  

What are you up to this weekend?  What was on your Thanksgiving table?

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Thursday, November 24, 2022

Happy Thanksgiving

Via Pinterest 

Wishing you and your family a very Happy Thanksgiving full of good times, rest if needed and eff "being good" today.  Go in for seconds if you want em!

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Friday, November 18, 2022

What I'm Reading This Week #46

Happy Friday!  Well, I met my new primary doc yesterday.  The Mr met her last week and he said he really liked her and she was leaps and bounds better than our previous mooks in white coats.  I was a little upset when I heard they took his blood without having him fast because we've been carefully watching his cholesterol levels just like mine and I know that can mess up results.  She said they'd rerun it if the numbers looked off and they didn't.  We also didn't see vitamin D on there which we are both deficient on and she had them run it the same day and got the thumbs up.  We are not used to, like, actual service.  I fasted for mine since my appointment was early-ish and I really wanted my results to be as accurate as possible.  I knew my cholesterol dropped 30 points six months ago so I didn't want anything to mess that up.  I am so relieved we have what appears to be a completely competent doctor because we were beginning to think those didn't exist anymore!  She spent over 30 minutes with me, gave me my tetanus shot and they drew some blood after the check up.

Now let's check up on:




Why Your Joints Might Crack More With Age, and What to Do About It  (My knee has taken to making a lovely cracking sound when I do certain PT exercises.  I'mma try to exorcise that demon!)

How To Be Happy As You Age — Not Who Social Media Says You Should Be  (I think about the immense difference in what people our age looked like and did when I was a kid to now.  I have to be careful not to fall into the "I'm too old" trap because society is basically done with you at 35 which is pretty sad.  I want to be one of those 90 year olds with two hiking poles passing by a wheezing 20 year old who says "okay, I want to be like her at that age!")

BMI: The Mismeasure of Weight and the Mistreatment of Obesity  (BMI is so outdated but every doctor clings to it like it's gospel.  There is nothing better than the look on a new doc's face when they assume the Mr and I are going to be on tons of meds and have out of control numbers and we are in perfect ranges and only take a few supplements.)


Long COVID Is an Invisible Disability—and It Changed My Life Forever  (Sorry but it's not over even if you are over it.  (Obviously we ALL are.)  Stories like these of this cancer researcher remind us that over 20 million people are now disabled due to long Covid.)

19 Small Changes People Made That Had a Huge Impact on Their Mental Health (All very good suggestions even if you just implement a few.)

Gmail tip: 3 reasons to ‘snooze’ your emails and how to do it  (I probably do this at least 5x a day with different stuff!  So convenient but also a procrastinator's best friend.  Whoops!)

7 'Little Things' That Make People A Lot Happier In Their Relationships  (Aww, very sweet and doesn't take much to make someone's day!)


People Are Creating Memes About Nature And All Things Environment, Here Are 35 Of The Best Ones  (#6 almost makes me pee my pants every time I scroll back to it.)

You know how people look forward to the weekend?  Well, that ain't us.  I did a 'to do list' Monday night for the Mr who says he likes them because he's task oriented.  He probably wanted to whip his phone into the next county when he read it.  So much to do and I really want to be done with the majority of it by Sunday because I somehow have to summon the energy to prepare our Thanksgiving meal mid-week.  The turkey is cooked and food saved and we have the ingredients we need but throwing it together is going to be...challenging.  Thanksgiving pizza?

I hope everyone has their schtuff for Thanksgiving so you can ease into the holiday next week. I suppose we should also work on cleaning the downstairs so we can have a calm environment for that and then tree trimming soon.  Oy.

What's on tap for you this weekend?

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Wednesday, November 16, 2022

Hump Day Poll: For When You Have the Ickies


It's cold/Covid/flu/RSV season!  😕

What are your tried and true methods to help move a case of the ickies along fast?

Well, my immune system has always been a hot mess.  A 7-10 day cold is never less than 14 days for me while the Mr is usually done in 5 if it's bad.   As someone who got sick no less than 2x per year but usually three (four if I really ticked off the universe), masks have been a God send to me.  The only exception being a month ago when whatever evil mold/dust and Lord knows what else knocked the Mr and I's systems for a loop.  (Multiple negative Covid tests)  My only symptoms were inflamed sinuses but a decreased sense of smell (none for two days).  No cough or anything else and this was exacerbated by fumes of stain, paint and all of that crap.

I drank a lot of water which did help thin congestion but I still ended up my usual 14 days sick.  Nothing ever works for me when I have colds (and apparently severe allergies) so I'd be interested to see what helps you feel better and move things along.  I've tried them all.


What are your tried and true methods to help move a case of the ickies along fast?


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Monday, November 14, 2022

Good Lord Weekend Recap

Y'all, this week kicked my butt up and down the block.  I did a lot of distressing of boards and I did the 'right' thing by conditioning the pine boards I was working on before staining and my Lord it turned into a crap show of mass proportions which I will detail in a different post.  I kept trying so many things to try to rectify the situation and it was laughing in my face.  When I felt like I found the solution, I had to get so much done because I was working against the weather both temperature and humidity wise.  I almost beat it but it beat me on the last day because the last five boards I was working on ended up shitting the bed.  The original stain ended up getting 'pulled' by the correcting stain and if they were flooring, they would've been 'closet boards.'  The funny thing is, despite never in a million years wanting the same color as the flooring we laid down, that's exactly what I ended up with.  

Universe laughs.

We were ready to roll yesterday and got down to business.  As usual, it took longer than you think it'll take.


I'd say it was a solid 6 hours of work and the Mr did a great job.  There's still much to do.  There's a wall hanging we're both crapping our pants over but we've got one other little thing that needs to be done on the wood wall before we can move on to the other project which will hopefully be tomorrow or Wednesday.

We saw a local big box store was transforming their parking lot into an impromptu drive in playing Christmas movies.  While we're not huge fans of Elf or It's a Wonderful Life, we decided we needed some Christmas cheer and to chill after all of that. 

How did you spend your weekend?

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Friday, November 11, 2022

What I'm Reading This Week #45

For the love of all that is holy, how is it that those of us in the US are going to be in a food coma in two weeks?!  Like less than two weeks from Thanksgiving.  I suppose I should actually like, shop for it or something.   😑  Well, I kind of have here and there as far as stuff for our cheeseball, rolls, etc.  

Now let's jump into:



5 Exercise Habits To Slow Muscle Aging  (Great tips.  Will have to try the rep range one.)

6 Breakfast Foods That Help You Poop (Get dem bowels hummin'!)

14 Foods High in Phytoestrogen That Are Really Good for You (If you are peri or full on menopausal, this may be worth discussing with your doctor to make sure it's safe if you have a history of estrogen sensitive cancer in your family.)

5 Surprising Things That Happen to Your Body When You Don’t Get Enough Sleep  (Not surprised at all and sure wish I could get some!)

After Losing His Sense of Smell from COVID-19, an Italian Gastronomer Discovered How to Get It Back (This is amazing.  I remember how devastating it was to lose my sense of smell for 4 months about 10 years ago after some freak pneumonia in my lungs.  It completely takes all joy out of life and you don't realize how much you miss the simplest smell.  But I've read too many stories about people saying after Covid everything smells like hot, wet garbage and they lose a ton of weight because they can't eat.)


A home buying tactic from the ’70s and ’80s is seeing a revival—here’s how it works and what buyers and sellers get out of it  (DON'T DO IT!!!!  We did it to get into this place and were told it "only goes up 1% per year and 'never' goes up two."  Well, it went up two the first year and was probably responsible for a 20 lb weight gain at the time.  It was only by the grace of God the Mr had just gotten a new job and we were able to squeak by.  So ONLY do it if you can absolutely afford the amount they'll say it can't go up to because it will.)

10 Tips for Starting a Fire in Bad Weather  (Hell, I can't seem to start a fire in good weather much anymore.  We're never without our fire starters!  And if we're just not feeling it, this baby is a close second!)

How Big Is Infinity?  (Well Mr, I guess we weren't the ones to invent the game unless they started after 1992.)


50 Of The Best Doppelganger Photos  (These are pretty spot on!)

Lots of odds and ends on tap.  I think if I have time I might do some math and scale down our pies so I don't have to use so much stuff.  (Actually, I ended up buying this pie pan and I'm going to do half apple and half pumpkin.  We'll see if it ends up being a poopshow or not!)  I am still flabbergasted at the amount of groceries anymore.  I won't get started on that or it'll be like pitchforks and torch time.  Wishing it was a month ago when we were in Traverse City and chilling.  Man that was nice! 

Anything good planned for the weekend?

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Wednesday, November 9, 2022

Hump Day Poll: How Long In the Bat Cave?

source



How long does your gynecologist spend doing your actual exam?

I went to the same gynie for like 20ish years.  I was used to her chit chatting with me but being very thorough.  Kneading the dough on the breast exam, taking a good long look into the bat cave so that she could tell me how "shiny and healthy" my cervix looked and then did whatever where they jam the fingers in and push around on the stomach.  It was thorough and I completely trusted her.  Same with her replacement she recommended that I had for 2-3 years before she left.  Then I went to this other woman for two years who was nice enough and was maybe late 20's/early 30's but she tippy tapped the
boobs for 3 seconds (no lie) and she barely opened the speculum before she was clamping down and pulling up stakes like she was gonna catch the obesity from me or something.  The woman I left her for last year when serious medical issues came up down below does an amazing job when looking for all of the medical issues but man I just did my first annual with her yesterday and same thing.  Jazz fingers and the equivalent of sticking your finger in someone else's mouth and removing it before they can clamp down on your finger exam wise.  I would say total, the actual exam lasted 45 seconds and that was WITH a pap and breast exam.  She's about the same age as the previous doc.  

Is this how they train them now?  Get in and get out to the point the patient doesn't even seem like they could possibly trust what they just did?

Just curious if any of m'ladies have encountered the same thing?

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Monday, November 7, 2022

Where Did the Weekend Go? Weekend Recap

My Lord, how is it Monday already??  

source



The only mischief happening in this house was of the reno kind.  We worked on a decorative platform that'll be one of the last pieces we get to set up.  It was kind of a fun little build and we really love the way it looks and can't wait to show y'all once it's set up.  We watched the movie Weird (Weird Al Yankovic parody biopic).  That was...uh, interesting.  We both liked the beginning of it but somewhere it took a turn (we both think when Madonna came into the picture) and then it kind of skidded the toilet from that point on.  It's on point for Daniel Radcliff though given he's had roles as a dude with horns and a farting corpse so...

The Mr was kind enough to get some leg massager sleeves from my wishlist because I spent a few days hobbling around last week after a lot of time on my feet and I'm glad.  I think it'll not just help as we move forward with this remodel but also after road trips or on high cal days when my legs like to retain water.  They even have extender pads for people with chunka monk calves like mine.  Thanks Mr!

The Mr got to painting the lower half of our accent wall.  Ain't it purty?


Come Sunday I did some test patching with different stains after breakfast to see what would work best.  Of course the wood conditioner I had on hand wasn't compatible so the Mr had to run to the big orange machine to get some for me.

I got to distressing some wood pieces.


I only got four done before my lower back waved the white flag so I might need a folding chair handy out there for breaks when I do some planing/chiseling.  

We settled in and watched Chateau and "Rich People Problems" (aka Renovation Island).  I really hope there isn't another season of that show because it's really annoying to see people gripe about which project needs their attention- their hotel in the Bahamas, the house with an airplane hangar they're renovating, her office or their vacation rental that is contributing to the housing shortage.  I'm about done with those effers.

Today we've got a car appointment and an eye appointment and an appointment with distressing wood until my hands give out.

How was your weekend?

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Friday, November 4, 2022

What I'm Reading This Week #44

Hello helloooo and happy Friday to yoooou!  I hope you all were lucky enough to get some goblins earlier in the week with trick or treat!  It super sucks to live in a neighborhood where there are none to be found.  I always thought that would be the pinnacle of homeownership but I was wrong...that title goes to never-ending projects no matter how "done" you think you are.  We've had some major projects going on most years for the past 5 or 6 years.  A new patio, remodeling the basement, remodeling the kitchen and leveling the second floor with floor replacement and bedroom purges/remodels.  Are we done yet??

(No.  The answer is no.)

Now let's jump into:


Vitamin E Foods, Health Benefits, and Recipes  (I am constantly low on this!  Vitamin E supplementation needs to be discussed with your doctor as they can be dangerous.  They advise starting with a low dose but check on that one before ever supplementing with it!)

6 Best Fiber Supplements That Will Keep Your Gut Happy  (Happy gut, happy butt!  Even though I get plenty of fiber, I submitted to the former doc's wishes for me to wave the old lady flag and start taking this.)


Scientists Just Found a Link Between COVID-19 and Developing Alzheimer's  (The numbers and speed at which it happens are terrifying.)

Warning Signs That Precede An Electrical Fire  (Mr, we should probably talk to someone about that first floor seemingly overloaded circuit crap.)





Obituary: Florence Miles, 1922-2022  (Y'all...READ THIS.  I have never in my life read a more amazing obituary.  It's long but WORTH IT!)

Rescue Dog With Wild Zoomies Becomes The Calmest Big Brother  (Aww...da sweetest!  I love how gentle he is and that he asks permission!)

Concert Goer Throws Roll of Film on Stage, Band Mails Photos Back  (OMG!!! This is so cool and even more awesome this young, up and coming band back in the day did it!  After seeing how many people just watch concerts through their phone screens AT the concerts, I almost pine for the days when cameras were outlawed and you had to sneak your 110 in in the front of your pants!)

Is it weird that we're excited to be meeting our new primary care physician??  That dumb witch we've been putting up with for the past 10 years is in our rear view and I'm just praying this one is a good one.  She's closer to our age, maybe a little younger so she isn't close to retirement yet.  She's got some pounds on her (maybe 40 lbs overweight or so) and we both feel that she may actually HEAR us when we tell her we've lost 200 lbs on our own and exercise 6 days a week instead of never looking up while checking off her boxes and then handing us a pamphlet about weight loss at the end and making a personal note to exercise more and eat more fruits and veggies, of which I get more than 6 servings of on the daily.  It's also pathetic that doctor's websites who CLAIM they're taking new patients aren't and you have to waste your time reading through all of the reviews to get amped up only to be told no, they aren't.  Our medical system is beyond broken y'all.  Anyhoo.  Hoping the Mr and I find some mischief to get into this weekend.

Any mischief planned for yours?

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