Friday, March 30, 2018

Friday Flashback

As you can imagine, I have had zero chances to read anything this week so there will be no What I'm Reading This Week.

Instead, I would like to do a Friday Flashback with the topic being, of course, Grandma's.


I have shared some of my favorite memories of my Grandma from loading up on ice cream to comforting a crying great-grandchild.

Please comment about your favorite memory of your Grandma or someone who was like a Grandma to you.

Have a great weekend all and a very Happy Easter!
Don't forget to have a maple egg for Grandma.

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Thursday, March 29, 2018

Beautiful You

If you didn't read yesterday's post, I'd start there and swing on back over.



The Mr was in bed, and I had to stop the flashes of that image of Grandma in my head.  I started scouring our hard drive for pictures of her.  There is one on my desktop that I look at every day.  It's a selfie I took of us 8 years ago when I took her into the city for lunch and ice cream.  She was a very happy girl, and it is one of my favorite memories.  I remember when the scooper dude was like "would you like half scoops or whole ones?" and she said, "whole ones please!"  God, it was the cutest thing ever.

Before I got too heavy into looking for pictures, something nudged me to look up her favorite song, Beautiful You by the Oak Ridge Boys.   I started to cry as I listened to the first few verses:

Please don't cry, oh my
You're so blue
But I'm here to help you
Beautiful you

You need someone to give you
A love that's true
Well, I'm here to help you
Beautiful you

I glanced at the clock:  11:49pm.  I figured I would go to the folders I knew for sure had pictures of her and get it started and finish up the next day.  I began copying photos into a folder, and I was happy I was one of those annoying people who took pictures when she had a camera because we've been preparing for this for 7 years.  I still didn't have as many as I'd like.  You never do when you're faced with an end of life situation.  As I looked at the Christmas pictures, she held up this crocodile mask to her face, I busted out laughing because it was completely out of character for her.   Another picture from Easter 2010 where she was wearing this sunflower headband one of the kids got and again, totally out of character because she never wanted to mess up her freshly done do.  There were pictures of the two of us together and one in particular of my second cousin who is about 4 years old.  She was crying and ran straight to Grandma's arms to be comforted.  It was heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once.

Once I finally got a decent amount of digital pictures moved over, I decided I would start writing yesterday's post because I wanted to document the feelings when they were the strongest.  When I got to the part about the voicemail from mom, I clicked over to my email so I could copy exactly what she said.  It had a (2) by the message meaning there had been another call from her number almost an hour ago.  My heart began to race as I read it but because it's a crappy translator, it wasn't clear what she was saying.  So I hopped onto the voicemail system, and there were 10 unheard messages.  (We usually just let them erase after 30 days since we get the emails.)  I feverishly listened to the first line of each message, hit 3 to delete, and I swear the woman took forever to get through each one.

Message erased.

Next message from eight-seven-seven...six-three-nine...eight-zero-zero-three.  (Not the real number)

At...

Four...fifty three...PM...on...Thursday...March....eighth.

Nine times I had to do that as my heart beat harder and harder out of my chest with each delete to hear what I already knew.  My hands began to shake as I heard 11:51pm and my mom says my aunt was "coming to pick her back up...pause....(tears)...grandma passed away (in a cracking voice which is why it couldn't be translated)...I'm so glad you got to see her before she died.  I don't know. maybe that's what she was waiting for and needed before she could go."  My hand shook banging the receiver into my ear as tears streamed down my face and I hung up the phone.

At the exact moment my Grandma died, I was listening to her favorite song which I hadn't thought of in years and was compelled to look up at that exact time...as I was looking at pictures of her.  As this thought ran through my head, I knew that even though the Mr was asleep, I needed to tell him.  I thought of how I was going to do it, and I thought the best way would be to quietly open the door, rub his arm until he stirred and whisper to him that she passed.  We'd hug, and I'd tell him to go back to sleep, and we'd talk in the morning.  The thought of standing was more than I was able to process and I was paralyzed.  All I could do was let out this continuous guttural cry/scream as years of helplessness, anger, frustration, sadness, love, and grief poured from the pit of me.  My eyes felt like they were going to explode because as much as you prepare for the moment and will it to come so that the person you love can have peace, it is truly the end.  The end of 78 years of love, happiness, trials, challenges, triumphs, holidays, traditions, support and everything in between.  As her life as I knew it flashed before my eyes, I continued to wail with a ferocity I have only seen on nature shows where a mother cries out over the body of its dead child.  I heard the Mr stir, and he came down.  He asked if I'd heard news and I played the voicemail for him as I cried and he hugged me.  He told me how sorry he was and that she was at peace now.  He asked if we should go back over and I said I couldn't take seeing that and he agreed.  We talked for an hour, and I told him about what I was doing when she passed and showed him the pictures of her I'd gathered so far for potential memory boards.

He massaged my shoulders since my headache was fierce and I kept telling him to go to bed.  He emailed his mom (they would get together from time to time years ago) and went back to bed.  I emailed three of my best friends and began crying again when I had to keep correcting my sentences to the past tense. The wind is howling outside as it has been since I heard the news.  I looked up and said, "giving them hell up there already, are we?"

That brings me to now.   It's 4:57am, and she's been gone just over five hours.  I have a hard time wanting to go to sleep because I know when I wake up, it will be the first new day without her in this world.  Today begins the next chapter for our family that I have always dreaded...the "after" and all that entails.  I dread the process of what typically happens when the glue of the family dies especially with her generation.  They are the last generation with expectations of how things should be because it's the right thing to do and not the easy thing.  I know we have showings and a funeral to get through.  I have a eulogy to read with memories and a plea for people to remember how she lived and not how she died.  I will need more strength to get through that than I believe I have but I will just tell myself to get through it for her and then I can break down when I sit down like I did for my grandpa.

I cannot begin to thank you all for your messages, emails and comments of support and thanks over the years as I have told her story from my perspective.  I hope that I have given you all some understanding of what a family touched by dementia goes through and how it can easily fracture your familial foundation.   Please excuse any absences I may have due to the funeral or just need a mental break in the coming week.   If you or someone you know is newly diagnosed, please refer to this post as a good starting point.

Goodbye, beautiful you.  Come visit me in my dreams, we have a lot to catch up on.

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Wednesday, March 28, 2018

The final goodbye



I am writing this in the early hours of March 27th after having said my final goodbye to my grandma a few hours ago.  I was given the news about a week into March that she was declining and the hospice nurse said anyone wanting to say their goodbyes that needed to travel should probably be called.  Her sister flew in from the Carolinas and fed her, talked to her and had the last sister time with her she would ever get.  My mom told me it was up to me if I wanted to see her but that she was losing weight and understood if I didn't want to see her that way.  I cried, we talked and I thanked her for letting me know.  I decided I was at peace with not seeing her before she died.  I'd gone to great lengths not to look at her much as she declined except for the quick glances I'd give when I said hello and focused instead on talking to others around me while touching her shoulder or hand.  Even when I saw her at Christmas it was in a state I was trying not to remember because she'd lost a little weight since Thanksgiving but never opened her eyes.  I knew when things got really bad, mom would likely call me and I could either go see her or be told God took her.  I began going over the eulogy I've had written for almost four years and tweaked it to my current feelings and things I wanted to make sure people remembered.

The evening of the 26th, we were walking around the neighborhood for our workout.  When we got home, we stretched and rolled and I had a lot of it to do since the legs were in bad shape.  That meant the Mr went upstairs before I did.  As I rolled my legs into temporary submission, I had the thought "I wonder when I'll get the voicemail from mom."  I knew she would say something like "I don't want to tell you this over the phone but Grandma is gone."  It had been two weeks but the recent invite of getting together for Easter told me that perhaps she wasn't as bad off as the hospice nurse had let on.  I came upstairs and went to start dinner.  As I set the oven temperature, the Mr said: "there's a voicemail from your mom, do you want me to read it?"

My heart dropped.

"Yes."

It started "Hey and I don't wanna really tell you this on my phone but grandma is still here now but the hospice nurse says it's only a matter of hours or a few days..."  She went on to say she looked very bad and she understood if I didn't want to see her that way and the decision was up to me but she wanted to give me the option.

As he finished reading the message (we get emailed with poorly translated text of our voicemails), I calmly said, "I'll make dinner and we'll go over."  We watched our usual show during dinner and I started getting somewhat presentable while the Mr rinsed off the dishes.  I opened the bag of Easter treats I bought over the weekend for the platter she did as a centerpiece when I was a kid and grabbed the maple cream egg I bought for her.

(Source)
I went to the bathroom in a zombie-like state and came down to clean my glasses and the Mr saw the egg on the table and said, "are you bringing her maple cream egg?"  I nodded yes and lost it.  We hugged and I composed myself because I didn't want a cry headache yet.  We got in the car and rode the longest mile down the road.  I couldn't help but feel something similar to what I thought when we were driving back to Kona from Volcano to make arrangements to fly home early for my FIL's funeral.  "Why don't these people stop what they're doing?  Our world has stopped turning but they have smiles on their faces and sunglasses on heading to the beach."  Every car we passed on the way to Grandma's, I just wanted to scream "do you know what we are going through!?  This is the last time I will see my grandma!  Why do you get to go on living life as usual!?"  It will make me think as we pass others on the street now.  The person we are beside in traffic could be going through something traumatic.  We should all be a little kinder to those we share road space with because one day, it will be us going through something traumatic as the rest of the world spins and is business as usual.  As we pulled up, there were five cars there and we parked in the available spot and headed into the garage.  I took a deep breath before we went in and as I entered the kitchen, I looked in and made eye contact with my cousin I'm closest to.  It was just the cousins, her husband, and my uncle.  My youngest cousin moved Grandma's wheelchair as I approached which was beside her bed and hugged me.

I looked down at Grandma and nothing in this world could've prepared me for what I saw.  If I could've run out of the door, I would have but I was frozen in horror.  This woman.  This beautiful woman who babysat me so her daughter could finish school, who taught me to be smart with money, who was the only one who could get away with calling me by my full name without getting side eye was unrecognizable to me.  She was emaciated, mouth agape, labored breathing (nearing stages of the death rattle), and her beautifully coiffed hair was thin to the point she was almost bald and matted to her scalp.  Her organs were failing and due to that, the bad breath was overwhelming.  I don't think as long as I live I will forget that smell...it smelled like death and I couldn't run from it anymore.  Just typing it all, brings a pit in my stomach because I remember what my grandpa (her ex-husband) looked like in his casket and it looked nothing like him even though he wasn't emaciated at the end.  I can never get that image out of my head.  The image of her I have worked so carefully to preserve was shot out of the water as if to say "sorry sister, you may not have been in the trenches all these years but even you don't get to opt out."  I could have, of course.  I have no doubt my mom would've been perfectly okay with me choosing not to come because she knows I have never been able to see her being anything other than the woman I have known and loved my whole life.  But since she said all of the cousins were coming, I didn't want to be the only one that didn't show up.  I wanted to be there for my family.

As I looked down at her, trying not to let this reality penetrate, I burst into tears while the Mr talked to her husband who was more than happy to tell one more person the gory details.  I instantly tuned him out and hugged her and told her that I loved her, I kept my promise to her and will always remember her the way she was.  I told her several times I loved her as I sobbed.  My middle cousin came over and hugged me and told me she loved me and I was joined a moment later by her mother giving me a hug.  I took the maple cream egg out of my pocket and put it on her bedside table and whispered "I brought your maple egg, Grandma in case you get a burst of energy and want to eat it.  I know they're your favorite" and started crying again.   The cousin I locked eyes with upon entry came up behind me and hugged me and said he loved me and I said the same.  I heard my mom come out and she put her arm around me.  They had been in the guest room reminiscing about trips they took together and picked out what they were going to bury her in.  I pointed to the maple egg and mom smiled and said: "that was her favorite, if she could eat it, she would."  I cried and she was strong for me and said she was glad I came but said it would've been fine if I didn't because no one should have to see her the way she's looking.  Her decline over the previous four days was rapid and devastating.  Each day she looked thinner and worse.

Mom asked if I wanted to see the outfit they chose for her so the Mr and I followed her back there and it is a beautiful spring outfit.  A nice light teal jacket with a teal and blue floral shirt on a white background and I think khaki pants but I can't remember.  I cried when I saw it because I knew she would look beautiful in it.  She told me about the casket Grandma picked and apparently it's pink on the outside and white on the inside.  I was like "what!??!  I didn't know she liked pink that much!"  We kind of laughed as we looked around the pink room we were sitting in but it's not like it was a prominent color scheme for her.  I said, "so with the pink and white casket and her teal outfit and yellow roses for the top, it's going to look like an Easter basket??"  She smiled and said, "kinda, huh?"  We sat and talked a bit and my aunt and her son shuffled in and of course, the Mr got roped into fixing the laptop.  I had to giggle to myself on that one because even in the face of imminent death, nothing changes when the computer man is in da house.  We made it back into the living room and talked with my cousin and I gave Grandma one final I love you before going into the outstretched arms of my uncle.  He's always been a quiet man in our presence and kind of this silent pillar of strength in a weird way.  He said she fought a long hard battle and it was time for her to rest, she deserved peace, God would take her and she'd be okay.  I agree.  We felt that way many years ago but seeing the deterioration with someone who goes through it for a long time chips away at you in a way you can't quite describe.

We drove home and the Mr said he didn't know how I could stand over her for so long, he could barely look at her in her current state.  He said he was proud of me and glad I got to say my final goodbye to her even though it was gut-wrenching.   I had a pretty wicked cry headache and he got me some aspirin before heading off to bed after chatting for a little bit.  I fully expected that I would wake up to a message that she was gone and prepared for that as best I could.

But first, I had work to do.

To be continued...

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Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Taco Tuesday!

 
(Source)

Sorry, that's just what I associate Tuesday with now.  We got a great price on the patio remodel!  That's what I'd like to say.  Instead, I'm here to report we heard nothing.  When the guy was here Friday, he did say something about our email and if he had the right one.  No one verified it before he left so I sent the office manager a follow-up email at 2:30pm telling her that and that I was just checking in since he said we'd have the estimate yesterday and didn't hear anything yet.  I'm getting a cringy flashback to last year when we were trying to find a contractor for our fence and no one was calling/emailing us back.  I even purposely wanted to start calling now because of how much trouble we had in May.  Oh, as I check my email, I see she said we'll get the bid in the morning. 

Mmm hmmm.  Believe it when I see it.

I got some work done, OD'd on a Paranormal Lockdown marathon in the background and started hitting a wall so I  knew if I didn't get up, I was going to end up face down in the couch cushions.  We went for a walk around the hood for three laps.  Since I did a pretty extensive lower body workout the day before with deadlift hell, my legs didn't appreciate almost 3 miles of asphalt even after a good 20-minute stretch session and such upon our return.

We ate dinner...


Glazed ahi tuna, sweet potato gnocchi, and mixed veggies.  Then we had to take care of some stuff and before you know it, it's 10pm.

Riveting blog reading, isn't it?  (Though I see from many of your comments yesterday that you had about as exciting a weekend as we did!)

What is your spirit animal?  Or if you prefer, what did you have for dinner last night...I have a food rut I need to get out of.


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Monday, March 26, 2018

Yawn worthy weekend



Howdy do all and happy Monday.

Friday, we had the dude out to look at our patio area.  He was okay but liked to talk over you and that was irritating.  We do like that he's a mom and pop type place and not some huge conglomerate but if papa overcharges, he isn't getting the job.  I was disappointed he didn't bring any sample bricks for us to look at.  He said what he would suggest and said he'll email us pictures but I know monitors are not representative of colors IRL so we're going to have to see something before we sign anything.  He basically just took measurements and said he'd get back to us today on price.  Pray for anything under $1500. 

Saturday we tried to go to lunch at a place we'd finally agreed on and by twenty minutes after opening it was already full.  Denied.  We went to another place with reliably good burgers and lamented the non-parenting style of parents who let their kid wander from table to table interrupting people's dining experience.  You're barking up the wrong tree if you think we're going to fawn over your kid, be prepared for side eye.  We did a little shopping and then turned on the fireplace which always equals naptime.  Two hours is napping, right?  We went to Whole Foods, Trader Joe's and Target for the majority of our grocery shopping.  I got the stuff for the Easter platter I bring for the adults and two maple eggs for Grandma.  She's not really eating anymore so I don't know how much of them she'll eat but they will be the last time she has them.  :-(  The late part of the evening was spent trying to convert the Mr to a Marlon Williams fan (affiliate link) and I think I'm almost there.  I need to buy the rest of that album Make Way for Love because I already love five songs on there.  If anyone is in NYC, he's playing the Music Hall of Williamsburg, Brooklyn tomorrow.  Adopt me and take me with you.

Sunday I did a little work whilst the Mr did laundry.  We went to the grocery store for the last of the produce.  Then it was down to do a lower body strength session and my 30 minutes of PT, rolling, stretching and vibration board.  Jealous?  It was a pretty uneventful weekend in the scheme of things.

Please tell me yours was more exciting than ours.  

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Friday, March 23, 2018

What I'm Reading This Week #12

Happy Friday everyone!  I'm so ready for the weekend as I'm sure you all are as well!   It's been a week.  We had the plumber who installed our bathroom sink back out again (3rd times the charm?) because they didn't properly vent the sink so we had serious gurgling and a slight backup of sewer gas which is lovely.  Extensive research, a few maintenance visits later told us the problem and I'll be damned if I was paying another cent for something they didn't do right the first time 8 months ago.  Of course, all I could hear from him was why it was a mystery and he didn't really know what to do other than rotate his thumb up his rump replace the drain system but without an overflow something or other.  (Insert fury here)  He did put the offset drain in there to humor us and so far it seems to be working.   I'll consider it a victory after 8 months of no issues like the first time.

Enough of our home improvement adventures, let's catch up on...




19 Tips a Weight-Loss Coach Won’t Tell You for Free  (Thankfully, you have this article because if I paid for these tips, I'd be a little ticked!)

How to (Truly) Change Your Habits  (Interesting strategy)

How to Stop Feeling Burned Out and Reignite Your Creativity   (Oddly, win the Powerball anonymously, quit your job and move to a remote jungle isn't on the list.   Hmmph)

The One Thing That Protects a Laptop After It’s Been Stolen  (Good info to know!)

How Exercise Can Keep Aging Muscles and Immune Systems ‘Young’  ( A good reason to exercise well past 65!)

What Marriage Experts Think About Couples Who Fart In Front Of Each Other  (Sorry dude but if it's a matter of pain or discomfort over you thinking I'm Shrek, I'll fart every time.)

Chrissy Metz Says Her Stepfather Beat Her and Forced Her to Do Humiliating Weigh-Ins as a Teen  (Heartbreaking.  You can bet by the time I would be big enough to give him a run for his money, I'd hit the effer back.)

14 Things To Know If You Love A Highly Sensitive Person  (Most of these.)

Getting A Tax Refund Is Bad, Actually  (Actually, it's not.  And if I hear one more person say "it's like giving the government a tax-free loan" I'm going to barf.  If you are not good at saving money or budgeting when you see your paychecks deposited, taking the lowest exemptions and even having them withhold X amount per pay can ensure you have enough money come tax time for a big azz vacation or several small ones without ever having to think about it.  But if it makes you feel better to see more in your check, set up an automatic transfer into a savings account that you don't have immediate access to for an extra $80-$145 in interest per $10K.  It's just a matter of what you are comfortable with.)

Today we're having a landscaping company out to take a look at our back patio to get an estimate on what it would cost for them to put in a paver patio.  Our stones are about 18 years old and have held up well but are looking tired and are not really made anymore so we can't get replacements for ones with hairline cracks.

It's supposed to be a slopfest out there weather wise so I don't know that much will be on our agenda.  I need to figure out what to make for Easter this year.   How is it already just over a week until Easter!?  Yeesh!

What are you hoppin' into this weekend?

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Thursday, March 22, 2018

Movie night: Jumanji and Downsizing



The other night we had a two rental night which is SO rare these days to have two movies that we want to see.  Usually we have Redbox or video store rent one, get one free and we have to really struggle to find a number two.  Eww, that sounded gross.   You know what I meant.  But this time, Jumanji and Downsizing came out the same day and we both wanted to see them so woo hoo for movie night!


Downsizing- (affiliate link)- Matt Damon, Kristen Wiig- This one seemed like one of Hollywood's more original ideas so we were down.   This movie redefined the term "trailer duped" for us.  We thought it was a comedy and while there were a few random chuckles, the massive twist came rather early and we were like "where the heck can it go from here!?"  It was kind of a downer and while the cleaning lady was cute, she was also incredibly hard to understand so that made it kind of frustrating.  It's not that it was a bad movie and we expected to see some down sides to downsizing (no pun intended) but I'm so glad the Mr put it in first because it wouldn't have been how I wanted to round out the evening.  We were also ticked some of the scenes in the trailer were cut like the Vodka bottle doubling as a HUGE water tank for the city which we thought was hilarious.  It makes me wonder how many other great funny scenes were cut.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle(affiliate link)- Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Jack Black- Since I am a die hard Robin Williams fan, I had mixed feelings about if I was ever going to see this one.  The original (affiliate link) was so well done and I felt it disrespectful to remake anything he's done.  Thankfully, it's not a true reboot.  It's not a board game this time but a video game since "nobody plays board games anymore."  *rolling eyes*  A detention class gets sucked into the video game and Dwayne, Kevin and the gang are their alter egos in the game which is pretty friggin' hilarious.  It was really well done and watching Jack Black (a teen girl in "real life") deal with having a weenie was pure gold.  There's a nod to Robin Williams' Alan Parrish character.  Keep your eyes open when they go to Nick Jonas' jungle home for the first time.  Full of action and laughs.

What have you rented lately?


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Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Food Review: Fiesty Cherry Diet Coke

Diet Coke has been pretty jazzed about their newly redesigned cans as well as new flavors, and it might have you intrigued.  I'm not a diet soda fan at all.  You don't want to know what I say it tastes like but that's neither here nor there.  The Mr doesn't care for it either but he's been known to drink a Diet Dr. Pepper on extremely rare occasion so he was curious to see if the Fiesty Cherry Diet Coke tasted similar.


The can is snazzy, as intended.

Here are the nutritional facts:


A peek at the actual ingredients.


So what did the Mr think?


It tasted nothing like Diet Dr. Pepper and he said there was an aftertaste, which I think is present with anything containing aspartame.  He asked if I wanted a sip so I took one.  I handed it right back to him.  Wasn't a fan before and not a fan now but again, I don't drink diet soda to begin with.  Anyone who is a diet soda drinker may think it's the bees patellas so don't take our word for it.  They have a myriad of flavors like Ginger Lime, Twisted Mango, Zesty Blood Orange, in addition, to Fiesty Cherry.

Do you drink diet soda?  Have you tried the new flavors?

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Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Late to the party again



I remember the first time I heard The 1975 for the first time, October 24, The 2015.  (Fans will get the reference.)  I felt like I'd had an awakening and couldn't wait to find out about this "new" band.  Well, they weren't new.  They had EP's they released in 2012 and their first album (affiliate link) was 2013.  Girls and Chocolate both reached number 13 and 12 on the Billboard charts but I never heard them probably because I'm not a big radio listener and hadn't started putting Music Choice's Alternative on full rotation yet.  If it wasn't for Target playing Love Me on the big screen over the electronics department, I probably would still be oblivious.  *shame*  I'm so glad I'm not because truly, their music changed my life for the better.  I can't wait for their new album to drop supposedly on June 1st.

Now that I do have the alternative station on for 12 hours a day (because pop music is barf-worthy compared to what it was when I was growing up- Signed, Old Lady) I have been exposed to some other awesome artists.  I'd always heard of Imagine Dragons, Arcade Fire and the like but don't know if I ever sat down to listen to them.  Now I really love them but I know I'm late to that party too.

The other party I'm late to is this incredible New Zealand artist, Marlon Williams.  Around Halloween last year, I heard his song Vampire Again, and it was so weird, quirky and sounded straight out of a 1930's movie score in some parts.  So I had to look up the video.  At first, I was like "WTH is this!?" and then I laughed so hard, I cried.  I looked up some of his other videos like Nobody Gets What They Want Anymore (affiliate link) (a duet with his ex-girlfriend after they broke up) and it was another video to distract you from the heartache of the lyrics.  This became a common theme with many of his videos.  His style is so hard to categorize which is one reason why I love it because it's truly like nothing else out there.  Wikipedia says "Williams' music style straddles folk, country, bluegrass and the blues."  I get those influences, but I hear very swoon-worthy slow jams of the doo-wop era as well.  There are probably about 10 actual "crooners" left in this world and Williams is one of them.  I would say his voice is like a mix of Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash and the haunting vibrato of Roy Orbison.  Elvis, I love but the other two I'm not huge fans of (gasp!), but he pulls it off in such a brilliant way, I make an exception.  Some of his more recent songs also have hilarious videos like What's Chasing You, and the "dancing" he does in it makes me crack up laughing every time.  Come to Me is his newest I think.  If you watch the video, it has nothing to do with the song, and you have to replay it to listen to the song again.  It takes on a whole dreamy undertone that makes you feel kind of floaty is the best way I can describe it. 

His early career started in 2007 but didn't start picking up a little steam until 2011 and then really hitting his stride in 2013.  Problem is he's from New Zealand and sadly artists from other countries just aren't promoted here like they are in their home countries.  Many bands have the goal of "breaking America" but their hardcore fans know they've lost them once that happens because like a lot of things we Americans touch, we just want to consume, consume, consume until we spit them out and want the next thing.  It's not unlike when homegrown artists like Metallica and Green Day were considered underground bands and then one day they got their big break.  Suddenly the preppy dude or football player was wearing one of their shirts and the fans who were there with them from the garage days were like "you sold out!  Posers!!"   (To be clear, I wasn't one of them, not a fan of either, but they were the only examples I could think of.)  I digress.

My point was there are so many talented artists in other countries we are not exposed to.  I remember hearing "Walking on a Dream(affiliate link)  by Australian band, Empire of the Sun on a 2016 car commercial in the States.  Well, people went batchit over it and rightly so.  That song was 8 years old!!!  It revived them on the charts where they reached number one on the Billboard Dance Chart.
After having the alternative channel on non-stop, I'm exposed to so many more international artists and I'm grateful for that.  After going through a serious musical dry spell for basically 15 years (2000-2015), the amount of music we buy now is insane and so refreshing.  We have hope for many more playlists to come and while I may be late to the party on Marlon Williams, I'm glad to slip in the side door and have a listen.

What band/artist did you discover well into their career?

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Monday, March 19, 2018

Crossed off, cracked up and plumb peeved

Another weekend went by too quickly.  How does that always happen?

Friday the Mr took my car in for service and then test drove the Rav4 home to pack it up to see if it passed the cargo test, which it did.


Then it was time to see if it passed the Mrs test and it failed miserably.


This car is not made for anyone over 5'8".  It immediately came off the list.




We hung out with some friends Saturday and went out for lunch instead of our usual dinner gathering time.  We checked out a seafood place since she's somewhat newly pescetarian and since I wanted to try this place anyway, I figured it would be perfect.



It was a cool place, something different than our usual. Might be something we go to again but I'd probably need a side or something because you know how it is when you're working so hard for seafood and you don't get a lot by the time you're done.  (I love how you get charged by the pound and it's like "yeah but I'm not eating the heaviest parts sooooo....")

Before we knew it, Saturday was over.  Sunday, the Mr was engrossed in fixing our sink.  You know the one we had installed in July?  So I'm more engrossed in having them call us back and get the original plumber to come out and do his friggin' job!  Two different plumbers have looked at it and said while the guy did it to code, he did it wrong and vessel sinks are different.  So yeah, they WILL fix it because we're under warranty for a year and if two dudes can look right at it and say it needed X then he should've too.  This was the same dipwad that had to come back because he didn't put plumbers putty under the faucet like the DIRECTIONS said.  So color me not surprised that we're having issues.

We went to Toys R Us for the last time.  I know he was all into it when he was a late teen and started buying video games from there but as I walked around I felt like "yeah, not gonna miss it."  I thought it would be more nostalgic for me from our dating years but it wasn't.  Not sure how he felt about it.  Then we walked for our workout with the Gallimimus.

"You got dino-feed, beeotch?"

Then we grabbed some fruit for the week and headed home for dinner and relaxing for the night.

Just like that, a whole weekend sucked down the drain!  Pffft!

What did you do this weekend?

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Friday, March 16, 2018

What I'm Reading This Week #11

Howdy do all?  In case you didn't know, it's FRIDAY!!    That means tomfoolery is potentially afoot!  I'm all about tomfoolery.

But first, let's get to...



10 Signs Your Workout Isn't Working  (Good things to be aware of)

10 Ways Changing How You Think Promotes Weight Loss  (Pretty standard stuff but in case you need a reminder)

These 11 Foods Are Scientifically Proven to Boost Your Mood  (Make your grocery list!)

Back Exercises to Reduce Low-Back Pain  (Cat stretch is  my favorite)

10 Dynamic Warm-Up Exercises to Prime You for Your Workout  (Warming up is so important!)

10 Time-Management Fails — and How to Fix Them  (Must put these into action)

Ab Exercises to Do at Your Desk (I'll just say be careful doing the leg pull ins.  I did those the night my inner thighs went haywire)

Microplastics found in 93% of bottled water tested in global study  (Can anyone seriously be surprised by this!?  Avoid plastic bottled water if at all possible.  We love our Kleen Kanteens. (affiliate link) )

10 Daily Habits to Increase Your Productivity  (Word)

Don't Confuse Justin Hartley With the Actor He Plays on TV  (Good interview!)

Role Recall: Jeff Goldblum on 'The Fly' makeup, why he unbuttoned in 'Jurassic Park,' and his Cate Blanchett crush  (OMG, crying laughing.  This is so classic Goldblum.  Love that man)

We're getting together at a seafood place with friends tomorrow.  It'll be nice to try something new to all of us and I don't mind not having to cook since I've been doing a lot of extra cooking this week.  Of course, we have to get things cleaned up today first so I know what we'll be doing today.  Pfft.

What are you guys into this weekend?

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Thursday, March 15, 2018

March Mid-Month Progress Report


How are we at mid-month already!?!  Yeesh!

Here's a recap of my goals for March and how it's going:

Food:  Continue with cutting out "extra" snacks/popcorn.  Play around with cutting one thing out of my typical breakfast to see if there is scale movement since exercise will be limited.

How it's going:  We're doing good on the cutting out extra snacks and I think that demon is pretty much slain.  I have also been cutting out one item for breakfast.  (Typical breakfast would be a banana, 1/2 yogurt, serving of cottage cheese and then either a serving of cereal, English Muffin, eggs, or something along those lines. Any combo basically equaling 400-500 cals)  I've been cutting either the yogurt or cottage cheese depending on the day.  It didn't help for last week's weigh-in so who knows.

~*~

Exercise:  Inner thighs are STILL tender so be good to them as they heal.  No kicking workouts for the first part of the month.  Continue with stretching making sure to include the front of the ankle to see if I can exorcise the ankle demon.  Will not up walks to 3 miles until I can do a 2 miler without inner thigh tenderness the next day!  Focus on upper body and one lower body in strength sessions until mid-month when I re-evaluate progress.  NO BAND for PT exercises for now-breaking up scar tissue is more important.  Stand up and stretch with each water reminder.

How it's going:  This has been frustrating.  I can really only do walking workouts so if we don't want to walk, I'll take his laptop down and do WATP while he does something harder.  I've told him I'm not going to let my injuries continue to derail his progress.  I can walk 3 miles around the neighborhood on flat surfaces but a walk around what I considered a flat lake loop, my legs disagreed.  Too uneven for now.  One more week of flat and then I'll test uneven again.  I think IT band scar tissue may be playing a role in this.  Trying to incorporate different stretches in there and remember to scrape it out with my jade tool (affiliate link) 

~*~

Water:  Keep up with current water intake and see if I can push it to another 1/2 bottle.  I'm bad about getting up to refill so I MUST work on that.

How it's going:  This week I moved my water reminder from every 30 minutes (and I would stop at one bottle (43 oz)) to every 15 minutes.  I am usually able to get in 130 oz by workout time in the evening this week and I must keep this up.  In reading old posts where weight loss was at least more, I don't know the word...possible(?) was when I was drinking that much.  It's still a struggle to get it in on the weekend but I need to get better at matching that amount then as well.

~*~

Sleep:  Get to bed by 12:30am.

How it's going:  I hit it most nights but with the time change it's been close to 1am.  I'll adjust.  Sleep has been really good lately which I need to help my legs get good restorative time.

~*~

Mental Health:  When legs show true signs of bouncing back, make the plans you wanted to make with friends.  The Mr needs a night to let go...his work blows so make sure he's taking time to unplug for even 5 minutes.  Mute more and open the back door as weather allows.

How it's going:  We're getting together with our friends for lunch Saturday and it sounds like we have a lot to catch up on.  I called my "work mom" from my old job and we have a ladies lunch planned for the day after Easter.  I'm hoping to do this more regularly with them like we used to.  They're in their 70's and I know I can't take time for granted.

It has been really difficult for me not to just jump back into doing Turbo Fire and stuff like that.  I actually need to see if I can find some new to us workouts because while they are tried and true, we've been doing them for years and we need some new blood.  The Mr has been doing this RIPPED Total Body Challenge  (affiliate link) about once a week and it kicks his okole.  We've had it for a while but it seemed a little extreme at first and we forgot about it.

So I would say I'm pleased with how on track I am with my my goals.  It is challenging to pull back but that has been the name of the game for me for 6 months and now that I've had almost a month of making sure I stretch like my life depends on it, this will hopefully propel me in the right direction.

How are you doing on your goals for the month?  It's not too late to finish out March strong!

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Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Random Wednesday

When the Mr and I were on a walk, he asked if I saw this picture on a nostalgia website:

(source)
He said that when he was a kid and watching reruns or action shows they showed quicksand so much that he worried about how he was going to escape it because obviously, according to TV, it was everywhere!  I do remember that and here and there but I think I thought it was more in swamps because of The Neverending Story (affiliate link).  Poor Artax couldn't survive the Swamp of Sadness.  I remember watching that in 5th grade as a class.  (Nothing like the feeling of utter glee when they rolled the TV into the classroom!?)  At that point, all of the girls were sobbing and even a few of the guys and they're all "what!?  I'm not crying, you're crying!"

We watched Kramer vs. Kramer (affiliate link) for the first time last week.  I know, I'm only like almost 40 years late or something?  I knew the kid looked familiar and I was like "is that Mikey from Sixteen Candles!?" and I IMDB'd him and sure enough.  Then I saw that he was nominated for an Academy Award in 1980 for it making him one of the youngest to ever be nominated.  Boy, that kid could ACT, yo!  I was a heap watching him bawl his eyes out at different times and seeing the transition from the first egg scene to the last.  (I'm not going to assume everyone has seen it since it took me that long!)  Less than 5 years later, I would be going through my own divorced parent's story and I wonder if that movie would've helped me if I'd seen it at the time.  The circumstances weren't the same but the judge ordered visitation was almost verbatim and made me wonder if that was just what he handed out until someone was like "you can't Kramer every case, Larry!"

The Mr was kind enough to go on a grocery run for me when I saw I was out of two things I needed for recipes today.  I asked if he wanted to see I, Tonya (affiliate link) or not and he brought it home from Redbox.  I can see why the people who were nominated deserved them.  Both Alison Janney and Margot Robbie did amazing jobs with their portrayals of Tonya Harding and her mom.  I don't know that we're any closer to having answers to what really happened but it was entertaining especially if you lived through the scandal before the next one happened...O.J.

Anyone watch the This is Us finale last night?  Lord, I didn't even get to the credits before the tears started!  The flash forwards were interesting.  If you have any thoughts, share 'em in the comments and anyone not wanting spoilers, don't go peeking and then gripe there are spoilers!  LOL

What movie did it take you decades to finally see?

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Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Oh IS IT, now?



You've heard that phrase, right?  Well, as the Mr was proofreading the weekend post, he told me something Mr. Car Salesman told him.  Apparently, when he approached the Mr (who was alone because I was in the car nursing my migraine) while looking at the first car, he got a phone call he said he had to take.  The Mr. said that was fine and he continued to check out the car.  It was short but he immediately spilled that it was his soon to be ex-wife and they're selling the house and she's taking the dog for a few weeks so he can have open houses.  This was a lot of info to spill to someone you don't know because it wasn't very long at all from the time the Mr walked into the dealership to the time he was pulling it up beside our car.

So after we were trapped in the Terrain with him and I could no longer take it, he's trying to pressure us to buy by yesterday for $6500 off.  I said nothing because I thought the Mr had made it clear to him we weren't buying anything right now.  This was a preliminary visit to see what cars we did and didn't like and what salesman we were and weren't willing to work with.  Him being in the latter column.  He said, "let me run the incentives, it'll take 5 minutes."  Nope.  Mama doesn't go inside when we are buying, much less when we're window shopping with a headache.  I thought the Mr was going to come to the car with me, but as I saw him following him (for cars we'd already struck off the list), I told him to give me the keys.  I went and sat in the car and read over the Tucson brochure.

Apparently, this is what was said in the dealership.  The salesman gave him a rundown of the incentives, and the Mr politely thanked him and said I was in the car and we needed to discuss if we even liked the car and started to leave.  This is when the dude uttered the above phrase.  "It’s easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission."  The Mr turned around and said "no offense but aren't you going through a divorce??"  "Uh, yeah."  He shrunk a bit and started hand sanitizing, and the Mr. left.  I can't believe he forgot to tell me that as soon as he got to the car but he knew I was DONE and wanted to get the heck outta there.  So when he told me that Sunday night, he said "I know some women would be mad for a week or so and then be fine" and smiled and said, "I know you are not one of those women!"  We laughed and he said he wouldn't want to be the kind of man who did crap like that because that's shady AF.  I said all I would ever be able to see is the betrayal of him going behind my back and getting it regardless of what I thought.  Now it should be noted that this will be OUR car.  When that car is paid off in 5 years, I will get it because I don't believe someone working from home should have a car payment if they don't have to.  I've never had a car payment since I worked from home.  The year I paid off my Dodge Intrepid, was the year I quit and I came up with that agreement that any car he had, I would just get passed down to me.

Now I know that some people build their businesses on that mantra, and that's fine for very particular circumstances, but that has no business in a marriage particularly in the finance department.  Period.  That just says "I'm going to do what I want regardless of what you think and you're just going to have to get over it."  It applies to stuff as small as hiding little purchases.  I have a family member who would buy clothes when her family was tight on money and would hide the purchases behind dressers, under the bed, in the back of the closet, etc.  Then when her husband would ask about a top he'd never seen, she was like "oh I haven't worn that for a long time" or "so and so gave me a bunch of clothes she couldn't wear anymore."  She thought it was cute or funny and we thought it was disrespectful as hell to her husband.  If you have a separate "fun money" account that you can buy what you want, that's fine but when you're taking away from your families finances, nope nope nope.  Then when they had to move, guess what he found.  Almost an entire closet full of clothes hidden that she totally forgot about all with tags still attached.  He was furious, and he didn't trust her for a long time.

That's the point.  That attitude and putting your faith in it where your marriage or finances are concerned break down trust and build resentment.  So good luck Mr. Salesman.  Let's hope the Mr. pointing out the truth will make you take a little closer look at yourself, and if not, God help the woman in the future that has to put up with your blatant disrespect.

What attitude do you find disrespectful to a marriage?  (Other than cheating obviously!)


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Monday, March 12, 2018

This is why I don't go

Happy Monday everyone!

The Mr has been researching cars since he is going to be getting a new one by year's end.  He's been sold on a particular all wheel drive but more poking around has unveiled some serious issues from it being an oil hog to problems with spidering windshields.  Since we have gotten our windshields hit multiple times between us, we can't own a car that has this problem with a car company who isn't interested in replacing it. 

I could tell the Mr was freaking out so I offered to walk into the seventh circle of Hell aka car dealerships.  We went to look at a Hyundai Tucson and test drove it home.  Our measurement of whether or not we'd even consider it is if everything that fit in our trunk to Vermont would fit in a crossover.  So we grabbed our two 29" suitcases, 26" and carry on. 


We configured it another way as well.



We liked the ride, the comfort was good for long hauls and didn't feel cramped in there which is the whole point.  I am incredibly sensitive to smells and "new car smell" (aka inhaling cancer as far as I'm concerned) gives me an instant headache.  By the end of the test drive, I had a migraine brewing.  I knew he had a few more on the list so I said go to one more place and sat in the Ford Edge and the seat didn't go back far enough for me and my right ankle couldn't stretch out and would have to be kinked at an angle.  No go for this tall gal.

I was willing to go to one more and told him to make it good.  It was a multi-dealer so we could look at a few others at once.  He has been drooling over the Buick Regal Sportback and as soon as he opened the trunk with the sleazy salesperson looking all puffed up on himself, I kind of laughed and I said "no way is that going to work!"  I didn't even bother looking inside because the trunk is our seller for this purchase.  Since we just recently handled the four suitcases, I knew there was no way they would fit in any configuration.  It's a hatchback and I had one of those back in the day but the "cover" that makes it a hatchback would not fit properly with our Vermont must haves.  The guy gave this look like "bitch" since I wouldn't even look at it and I wanted to say "if you gave your wife looks like that, that is why you're going to be single."  (Don't go spewing your personal issues when you're attempting to sell a car...it's just awkward and makes us want to run the other way and when you're an a-hole, we're going to side with her.)  He said to go look at some other model which was a wagon and no offense but I thought it was fugly so I started wandering onto another dealers lot to get away from him.

We looked at the Chevy Equinox (marginal as to whether it would work based on the slant of the back seats), Traverse (too big for the garage), GMC Terrain (loved from the outside but not digging the push button shifting and no elbow room for me and the ankle was getting hit by some weird piece of plastic.)  Of course, the original dbag is the one that showed us the Terrain and he insisted on not only getting in there with us but coughing (ALL of the salesman were sick no matter where we went) and kept reaching between us to paw all of the controls.  The final time he did it, I had to open the door because of the smell, his disease and just being done.  My migraine had flamed beyond control and I was ready to go.  This dude just reinforced why I don't go car shopping or be part of the process. 

As of right now, the Tucson is at the top of our list.  We fit way more in the Sonata like two big rolls of wrapping paper, 12 flattened boxes, 2 pairs of snowshoes with poles and I think the roller and fit blankets and stuff in there where we could find an open spot.  It was a beautiful thing but I don't think any crossover is going to get us totally covered like the Sonata did.  None of them had a cover that was adjustable or tall enough to accomodate us to cover it.  So we might need to get a black sheet to cover it.

The Mr had a headache Sunday so once that was gone, we went to an antique mall which had some crappy items then on to walk in the park for our workout then hobble to the grocery store to get our produce for the week.  I went down and stretched and rolled or else moving wouldn't be in the picture.  Then we caught up on the DVR a bit and that was about it.

How was your weekend?

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Friday, March 9, 2018

What I'm Reading This Week #10

Happy Friday all! 

It's been a long, weird week and I'm ready for the weekend.  So let's just jump right into...


30 Best Anti-Inflammatory Foods  (Inflammation is the devil and the devil lives in my legs)

The Scary Reason You Should Never Wear Shoes Inside  (Um.  Eww)

Exercise and Plantar Fasciitis  (Good info to know!)

Is Cutting Carbs Bad For Your Brain? A Neuroscientist Explains  (In a word...yes)

Calling All Acupuncture Skeptics: Here Are Some Great Reasons To Give It A Try  (I'd love to try this version where 3" ones aren't driven into my calves)

30 Everyday Mistakes You’re Probably Making That Can Ruin Your Teeth  (Keep those pearlies white...and strong)

Here’s How Far You Need to Walk Every Day to Extend Your Life  (Not as far as you might think!)

15 Telltale Signs You Might Have Cancer  (Not fun to think about but important to know)

This Simple Test Could Predict Your Risk of Alzheimer's  (Can you spot which is not like the others?)

25 Ways to Increase Your Protein  (Rebuild dat muscle!)

12 Reasons I'm Glad I Married My High School Sweetheart  (Me too!)

Women Are Giving Guys ‘Man-gagement’ Rings  (Sorry to burst your bubble so-called "trendsetters" but I gave the Mr an engagement ring back in 1994 so you're late to the party.  I remember his mom was bewildered which at the time made it that much more fun.)

Nothing really planned that I know of.  We've got company next weekend so it would behoove us to get a jump on things this weekend.  We'll see if that actually happens or not.  I suppose getting the vintage Santa artwork out of the bathroom is probably in order.  I've just been waiting for the Mr to say something and he hasn't so...Santa for everyone!

What are y'all into this weekend?

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Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Hump Day Check In

Good Hump Day mornin' all!



It's been a week of testing myself to see what the bod is capable of.  I'm not back into doing Tae Bo or anything like that but Sunday night, I wanted to see if I was able to do a 3 miler around the hood again and not pay dearly for it the next day.  Upon our return, we went downstairs and rolled and stretched.  I think I did about 30 minutes because I knew by jumping up a mile without warning, I could be in serious trouble the next day.  My ankle was not pleased an hour later and I was limping around.  I used the ultrasound on it and rolled the golf ball into the tight recesses of the arch that just seems relentless in ever releasing but neither helped.  The next morning the ankle was still in really bad shape but it was to be expected and I was pleasantly surprised that my legs as a whole were in much better shape having jumped up a whole mile from the last walk we did.  I assume the stretching played a part in that and I'll take that as some form of progress.

Monday, I moved from the couch, with whom I share a blood supply, to the dining room table to work.  You know, six feet away.  We have these seagrass chairs that always seem relatively comfortable to me when eating dinner or spending hours there talking with friends.  Well, my legs and azz didn't take too kindly to it.  It's definitely different than my usual sitting position which I firmly believe has significantly contributed to my leg problems.  But as I type, my butt bones are on the edge of the chair and it hurts like a mofo.  If nothing else, it will encourage me to get up and stretch every 15 minutes because it's so damn uncomfortable!  HA!

We decided to rent some award winner movies that came out so we got Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri and Ladybird(affiliate links) I wanted to watch Three Billboards first since I heard about a rather graphic beating scene and I wanted that not to be the last thing before bed.  (Plus I am super sensitive to that kind of stuff anyway.)  I have to say it was really good and everyone who won totally deserved it.  Ladybird was eh.  Too artsy for my taste, I guess.  Her mom we wanted to smack a few times because she was a lot like my friend's mom...constantly criticizing every move she made.  It was maddening to watch having a somewhat first-hand knowledge of what that does to someone having a mother that criticizing during your formative years.

How's your week panning out so far?

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Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Current Easter Crushes

With the approach of Easter, which oddly is on April Fools Day this year, it has me perusing catalogs for things I want but have no room to store.  We can still window shop, right?  Let's get to what I'm currently crushing on for this Easter season!

Let's go somewhere different than my usuals to start.  Wayfair.com is one I don't usually think of but imagine my surprise when I saw this adorable Marius 10" Plate!

The adorable rabbit has a sweet little scarf on but then bam, he goes from cute to cool on his skateboard!  I could see some Easter deviled eggs being served on this bad boy!

Let's hop on over to Pier1.com.  I have a mantel that would look darn cute with this Glittered Cottontail Banner on it!


Lil bunny butts!

I love Putz houses at Christmas but oh my Lord, they have them for Easter now!   This LED Light Up Pastel Easter House Collection is on CLEARANCE, and it's taking everything in me not to get it...



But fer reals, we were in the store, and I saw and looked at the Mr, and he's like "yeah....no."  He ain't even havin' it because he knows no one comes to see us to decorate for so it'd just be for us and room we don't have to store them.  *kicks pebble*

Let's sashay over to World Market.  I saw this Purple Plaid Easter Bunny Coir Doormat in store and loved it.  I'm going to try to ignore it's on sale.


My porch is all nekkid right now, and this would look so cute!

Then if you want an Easter basket for your favorite chicky babe, look no further than this Chick Felt Basket!


Measurements are just over 7 1/2" in diameter and just over 10" high, so it's just big enough to fill with a buttload of Easter grass and a few yummy Easter treats.  (I always have to have a Lindt Dark Chocolate hollow bunny and I got that baby on sale at WM for 50% off!  WOOT!)

What were your favorites to get in your Easter basket as a kid?  What do you like in it now?
(I went through a white chocolate bunny phase in my teen years)

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