Thursday, September 27, 2012

Remembering a friend gone too soon

I've posted my feelings elsewhere but I couldn't let my feelings be contained and had to do my own official blogosphere memorial for a friend lost.

In another life, it seems, when I ran a blog about Hawaii, I came to 'know' other Hawaii bloggers. We were an extended ohana. One in particular, Skeeter Bess as we knew her, was like this beautiful physical embodiment of aloha. She was in her 60's I believe and was a pest control inspector. She lived in a tough neighborhood and was the sweetest woman ever. She gave me confidence in my blogging endeavors. She made me feel like I should say whatever was on my mind and not censor myself to make friends or conform to others expectations but always treat people with aloha, even if they didn't always seem to deserve it.

I loved following her Hawaiian adventures of her work, DIY projects and her beagle, Lance. I remember when Lance got sick and eventually died, it tore my heart out. That dog was her nugget and reader's adopted nugget. She packed up and moved back to Texas to be around family.  Her blog got screwed up and she never had the opportunity to get it fixed. I asked where she was in one of my posts and one of her friends saw it and forwarded it to her. She emailed me and we caught up, so happy to have reconnected. She said (among other things) "Mahalo nui loa for speaking so kindly of me! It feels good to know I've been missed! My heart overflows with your aloha! I return it in kind! Or maybe da kine - it all works!"

How I loved her wonderful attitude.

Life got in the way and something brought her to mind and I thought "I need to add her to Facebook like we talked about." I decided to do a little internet search on her first to see if she ever got her blog fixed. I was instead shocked to find from other bloggers she passed away a few months ago. From what I read, she apparently she wasn't feeling well, stood up and got dizzy and fell. The fall killed her, not what made her dizzy.

I immediately burst into tears and have been crying on and off the past few days completely in shock at the passing of my friend. It is amazing how much someone can be such a part of your life even when you've never met them in person. She was like this beautiful, loving grandma you'd love to have. One of those cruel twists of fate that will always have you asking "why?"

Anita, your light is not extinguished. Your aloha and beauty will live on forever. I know Lance is happy to see you and was ready with big beagle snuggles for his beloved owner. You will never know the difference you made in my life. I am forever grateful.

In honor of one of her favorite regular features "Tuesday Teaser" (here's a link to the last one she did) I'm going to do a "Thursday Teaser" (sorry it doesn't have a more catchy ring to it Skeet!).

I'm going to show you a picture and you'll have to guess in the comments what you're looking at.  (Seriously, if someone gets this, it will be a miracle.  There's a funny story behind it too)  The first person who guesses correctly can pick a topic for me to blog about in a post.  You've got until tonight at 9pmCST.  Ready?

I know it's not as good as yours Anita but I've gotta start somewhere!  You are forever in my heart.

Do you value online friendships as much as "real life" ones?  Have you ever been affected by the death of a blogger?  

Don't forget to take a guess at the teaser pic in the comments!

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  1. I was deeply affected by the death of a blogger who called himself Acidman from Gut Rumbles. He said what was on his mind and he didn't give a flip who he offended. He was a Georgia boy and had the greatest stories! I still miss Rob. He had quite a following.

    My guess for the Tuesday Teaser is paint spatter.

  2. The picture looks kinda like a microscope slide from high school biology. I'm pretty sure that's not it though.

    I definitely place a high value online friendships and would be devastated if any of my online friends passed away.

  3. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. She obviously had a great impact on your life.

    I have NO idea what that's a picture of. Honestly... I don't even have a guess.

  4. I am sorry about the loss of ur friend:(....

    I think its oil/water splash on a pan...

  5. Never had a blogger friend die....yet. I'm thankful for that, because I've lost so many people in my real life...and it's been hard. I am an orphan, in that I have lost both my parents. At first that felt very strange. Even now sometimes I want to ask one of them something and am so disappointed when I realize I can't.

    I have had the experience of googling a few long-lost relatives and finding a link to their obit, much to my surprise. Even if their death was quite some time ago, it bothered me. I guess that's not unusual, but it just seemed strange to be freshly mourning someone who had been gone for several years.

    I hope your friend is with her little Beagle somewhere. I LOVE Beagles!

    I have no idea what that picture is....kinda reminds me of the outline of the top of two teeth.

  6. Your blog made me cry! What a great tribute to someone who so obviously touched your life and helped bring you to where you are today. I am sorry for your loss. She was obviously a very special lady.

    My guess for the picture, going with the theme of this blog, would have to be an aerial view of the Hawaiian islands. : )

  7. I can only recall knowing of the passing of one online friend, and hers saddened a lot of the SP community, not just me. But I didn't cry. I did cry for a friend from high school who passed away this summer, although I had not seen her in many years. And I cried for my ex-husband's passing in late July, surprisingly. You wrote a beautiful tribute, dear, and I would guess that your friend valued your friendship as much as you did.

    I value some of my online friendships as much and sometimes more than offline. It seems that the relative anonymity allows one to more fully share oneself, and that is very cathartic. There are some online friends that, if I ever met them in person, I would rush in for a hug though we've never really met before. You are one of them...hope you're a hugger!

    I think your picture is of bubble gum, or something like it, putty or grout maybe, stuck on the bottom of a shelf.

  8. That was a beautiful description if her. It made me smile reading about her and how you felt. That is our legacy you know. How wonderful you had that connection. And yes I value my online relationships every bit if not more because of what we share. The picture is on my tiny phone but it looks like footprints in sand....I'm so sorry you are sad and lost a lovely friend. Memories are everything.

  9. So sorry for the loss of what appears to be a wonderful lady! We need more people like that in the world, not less. Glad you were able to connect with her though and that you can continue on knowing that she made an impact in your life, and most likely vice versa.

    I've never lost a blogger, but I have to say that I do have several online people that I consider friends and hope to meet someday. If I lost any of them, it would be exactly that - a definite loss. I get to meet one of my blogging heroes next month when she comes to San Diego for a book signing - Kelle Hampton! And if I EVER get the chance to meet and hang out with you and the Mr., we could definitely talk non-stop about 80's awesomeness, childhood toys, Dexter and so much more! :-)

  10. I'm so sorry for your loss--this is a beautiful tribute to your friend.

    The blogging community is amazing and so many of the friends I've made are among my closest. It's easy to focus on blogging drama and cattiness and forget how awesome and supportive so many bloggers are.

    I have no good guess for the photo! Raindrops on a windshield?

  11. Mrs.,
    I am so sorry for your loss of a mentor and ohana member. It's always a vicious blow to the solar plexus when you lose someone who has touched your soul. Yours was a touching tribute and a "tip of the hat."

    My guess would be a copper or tin tile with imprints of coffee beans.

  12. I'm so sorry for your loss! Friendships are not dependent on proximity but on the sharing of our thoughts, ideas, and experiences. We can (and do) achieve that just as easily online as in real life. Except the hugs aren't as good online. (I'm leaving Sunday to spend a week with mostly online friends. We'll likely pick up right where we left off two years ago when we last met.)

    As for the teaser, I have no idea. It looks like drips of silver paint on my screen.

  13. Oh boy, this was a very tough read for me, but in a loving way. What a beacon of light your friend was, and will be forever in your heart. I treasure my online friends and in some ways have deeper relationships with them because I can be freely me without being censored. I don't have to try to anticipate a look or an eye roll or any of the physical attributes I would see sitting across the table from a friend. I can be honest and sincere and free. If I write something to someone and they aren't in the frame of mind to read it just then, they can come back to it when they are ready. That's a gift to me. If I'm having a particularly hard day, I know I can come online and read something from a friend, or write something to someone in my one time frame and with raw emotion. It's really kind of cool to know that there is a world out there where no one has seen me up close and personal, but cares about me anyway and will have my back if I reach out.

  14. Playing blog catch up. So sorry to hear about your friend. She seemed like a wonderful woman. I value your friendship so I very much value online friendships....and I have no idea what that picture is of...but maybe I'll keep reading on and find out. :)


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