We went to a Trader Joe's that wasn't our usual one the other night to pick up this ganache torte for our sweet treat on high cal day. I realized we were going to run out of Better N' Peanut Butter if the Mr continued he new obsession with fancy oatmeal I introduced him to so we grabbed those two items and headed to the checkout. One thing we always notice there is how the cashiers almost always ask if we've tried a product or not or they'll related their experiences with certain items they love and tell us how much we'll like them. We were in the line of a 20 something guy who looks at our purchase and when the Mr asked if he'd had that before he said no and then he asked if we were going to pour the peanut butter on top. We both kind of scoffed and said no.
Now I thought it was hormonal but when we left the store I said "yeah, us fatties can't wait to get home and slam our faces into this here cake and dump our peanut butter all over it. A-hole." Then figuring the Mr would say he didn't think he meant it that way, he agreed and said he felt a "tone" there. I wanted to walk back in and berate him and ask him how he'd like it if someone assumed that a comment like his meant he was stupid like inferring that us buying these two things meant we were going to obviously go home and roll around in our sty while oinking out on their crappy torte. I don't know if it was the buying experience but we both thought it tasted like crap and we'd had it before too and loved it. I'm obviously not holding this against TJ's, they'd pretty much have to discontinue everything we love there for me to do that, but I wouldn't mind giving that punk a swat in the torte-hole.
Have you ever had a cashier or fellow shopper say something about an item you were buying that felt like they were dogging on your weight whether that was their intent or not?
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I have gotten "the look" a few times, but I don't think anyone has actually said anything out loud.
ReplyDeleteI have had felt awkward buying certain combinations of items though. You can just feel the cashier's brain wheels spinning when you buy certain things together. (duct tape, a blindfold, a shovel, and a flash light, ya know - camping supplies).
I used to buy 2-liter bottles of regular Pepsi like they were going out of style, especially when they were on sale for 99 cents. Sometimes I would get 20 of them. More than once, the clerk asked if we were having a party. Embarrassedly I would answer, "No, it's just a really good price." I would joke to my family members when we got to the car, "Everyday is a party at our house." We ate and drank like everyday was a party.
ReplyDeleteOften, I felt somewhat ashamed of my purchases at the check-out counter back then. I bought lots and lots of sweet treats, chips, junk, high caloried everything. Now I proudly put my bananas, oranges, grapes and strawberries up on that conveyor belt, as well as lots of low-fat this and that.
You always know when someone feels superior to you due to your size, though. You can feel it in people's reactions, how they often treat you as if you are not even there. I decided long ago that I do not have time for people with that kind of attitude. Screw 'em!!
I know this wasn't the first time I've gotten the look but this was definitely one of the first times anyone has said anything like that out loud.
ReplyDeleteOn the flipside, it wasn't too long ago that we were both told by a cashier that we were buying the healthiest items he'd seen all day so that is a huge improvement in our lives if you think about it because that NEVER would have happened before.
I had one of those giant buckets of ice cream and 2 packages of oreos. The little cashier girl looked at it, looked at me and said "someone's going to enjoy their evening." WTF!!! Really? It was for my kids birthday party, I wasn't even going to eat any. I was so flustered I just looked at her blankly, and I'm sure my face was bright red. I don't know how they feel they have a right to comment on MY food!
ReplyDeleteAlthough I can't say I ever had that experience, I'm ashamed to say I've silently judged others. What's wrong with me? Now that I'm healthier, I see people who are like I was before I took off the weight (like the overweight woman I saw considering which Hostess treat to buy), and think negative thoughts. I'd never be rude enough to say them out loud, but I keep forgetting that other people can feel the energy I give off. Thank you for calling my attention to it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your experiences all, on both sides of the coin! Sometimes people need a lesson in 'mind your own business!'
ReplyDeleteCheri- That's a big thing to admit and I'm glad that my post made you think about that. For us, 95% of the things we put in our grocery cart are healthy but those few things that might need to be enjoyed in moderation are at the end of the store and therefore on top. So if a "cart stalker" as I call them would look into our cart, based on our size alone, they would totally overlook the 95%
focus on the 5%. But I've never actually seen someone look at my cart because it wouldn't end well if I did! LOL
Mr- I remember that and I was very proud that too. Veggies, fruits and whole wheat. I'm sure it was a surprise to him but the fact he pointed it out was pretty awesome!
See....the foodie in me is saying "Hmmm...the snot nosed kid may be onto something? Ganache Torte with a peanut butter drizzle!!!" LOL
ReplyDeleteJerk! I would have a hard time holding back on that one too.
ReplyDeleteAlthough a peanut butter/chocolate cake now sounds delightful :)
Rude!
ReplyDeleteI haven't had that happen at a grocer store (that I remember), but a rude clerk at Bloomingdale's in NY once made it a point to loudly inform me that "YOUR sizes are over THERE." Never mind that I was shopping for someone else. Needless to say, I bought nothing at Bloomie's.
Aw, maybe he didn't mean it like that. I have a tendency to go there about people's comments too because I always assume it's about weight. But if he did mean it that way, well eff him. :P
ReplyDeleteYou know what always sets me off? At restaurants, when the wait staff remark about you a) eating everything on your plate (something I was raised to do, for better or worse--unless the portion is huge, in which case I wrap it, of course!) or b) eating quickly. I always thought that the unspoken part of those comments was, "...you fat ass!" But when I got down to my goal weight, I noticed that people still said things like that to me, so maybe I was being a little overly sensitive. Still, saying things like, "Wow, you really polished that off!" probably isn't the best way for waiters & waitresses to make conversation!
Once when I bought a pint of ice cream (nothing else) the young, male cashier said, "Oh, you must have had a bad day, huh?" LOL
ReplyDeleteAnother time, I was in a restaurant and just finished my soup before my meal came out. The server picked up my bowl and said, "Wow, this soup didn't stand a CHANCE against you!" Hahaha, he was trying to joke around, but you just don't say something like that to a fat person!!
Can't recall anyone ever saying anything out loud, but the looks? Oh yeah.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to take this opportunity to say that Better N' Peanut Butter is crazy good. I was surprised it was thin, and that I had to refrigerate it after opening. But it was so good!
ReplyDeleteI was at a pet store once and wanted to ask an employee a question. He was talking to these three size 0 twits and looked oh so pissed to be interrupted by some fat girl. I don't think I've experienced it at the grocery store, either the look or comments, but I tend to not make eye contact, so I probably missed it.
Not a weight slam but when I went to an upscale men's store to get my oldest a suit for homecoming the dude told me not to put it in the washer! Then he told my son that the handkerchief was for decoration only-- not to blow his nose on it! I woulda so walked outta there but it was already tailored and the dance was that night. I smiled politely and said "debit please" when I paid and vowed to never to return to that store.
ReplyDeleteOkay..I would have totally eaten the pb on the cake LOL! One thing I wanted to add to this was that I used to work at a Grocery store as a check out girl and the last thing on my mind was what people were buying. I can't speak for anyone but myself, but the only things I hated doing was milk cartons (the hard plastic in the handles ripped my skin), heavy ass dog food bags that they stick ON the conveyor and expected my short ass self to pick it up and put it back on their cart, and meat. Sometimes the meat wasn't packaged so well and I'd get blood on me EWW. As far as others judging me the only person who I've caught doing that is unfortunately related to me now..yeah awkward.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your stories guys. I hate that you have stories to tell but it's good to know we can commiserate on the d-bags of the world.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, Better N' Peanut Butter is crazy good. It's also weird that it tastes nothing like peanut butter. But then again it didn't claim to be...it just claimed to be better n' it. :)
Wow. That person was rude to you. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
ReplyDeleteAmazingly, I can't seem to recall any rude grocer's comments. I can, however, recall the million comments from children(usually old enough to know better) about how FAT I am... to which I like to say, "That's because I eat naughty little children..."
ReplyDeleteWhat irritates me is when I am actually at a gym, or an exercise class, and some 70 something year old lady feels the need to give me unsolicited diet advice. You know, the whole "you have such a pretty face if you'd just..." speech. I have contemplated retorting(but I don't out of respect for the aging) "Unless you are in the late stages of dimensia, your presumption that I need your advice is just offensive!"
Oooo what does Better N PB taste like?!?
ReplyDeleteI have also gotten looks, but never comments. The looks are more than enough ...
ReplyDeleteCan I just tell you how jealous I am that you have not one, but TWO TJ's in your area. *pouts* ;)
ReplyDeleteSome people are just TOO blunt. Just the other day, my 18 yr old (thin) daughter and I were waiting in line for a healthy burger when I saw a man a little older than me with a race bib on. Out of interest and an attempt to be friendly, I asked him if he had just finished the race or was on his way; he said just finished a stair climb to the top of one of our city's skyscrapers for a good cause. I expressed enthusiasm and interest...and then he went on to say "she (he points to my daughter) probably could make it, but you probably couldn't, I don't know." I was like, "hey, I work out everyday and I'm in pretty good shape. I could do it." I don't thik he meant to be rude, but geez. haha, kinda makes me laugh when I think of the assumptions people make about others.
ReplyDeleteHormones, schmormones! Glad the Mr noticed the "tone" and concurred. That was ridiculous. Now that I'm back on campus, I am astounded what college-aged kids think is OK to say. It's sort of this, "I gotta be me and say every last thing that hits my brain cell," mentality.
ReplyDeleteFor that cashier to quiz you on what you are going to do with your purchase is over the top. Now, if he'd said something friendly, like, "If it were me, these two would get COMBINED!!" :smile: then, ok.
I had to add to Amy's comment about kids being awful with their comments. What gets me FAR more than the (usually very) young kid, is the parental response. Just in case the entire isle didn't catch what little Sally whispered to her mother, "OH, SALLY! WE NEVER SAY THINGS LIKE "LOOK AT HOW FAT THAT LADY IS.. THAT'S RUDE AND WILL HURT HER FEELINGS!"
Wow, I really :truly: hate that. Actually, any time I feel a parent is "performing her parental role for all to see and admire", I want to say, "Pipe down. The rest of us don't need your lesson of the day!"
GAH! hehehe... riled up.