Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Life examining TV still exists.

Okay, this is totally nerdy but does anyone need to talk about last night's This Is Us?  (No spoilers included)  We knew it was coming.  We knew we were gonna ugly cry just thinking about what's to come.  Still doesn't make it hurt any less.  I know it's just a show but many people feel a deep connection to it.  I think so many people wish they had parents like Jack and Rebecca...caring, understanding and trying as best they can to figure it all out like any parent.  It's easy as someone who basically grew up without a dad after age 8 to wish I had a dad who adored me the way Jack adored Kate even if it might've been to her detriment given how he soothed her with food as a kid.  I know I wish I had the ability to look back with the clarity of each facet of life the way it is in the show.  I think that comes with age though because as they say, perception is reality.

Like my friend yesterday.  She is in the beginning of her unfortunate journey of estrangement from her father at no real fault of her own.  She is pressured by family members to be the bigger person and reach out and she has done that several times only to be rejected.  She didn't know until yesterday my dad and I were, I guess people would call it estranged but honestly, it was more just neither of us made the effort.  So her hearing of me going 15 years without talking to him except getting a line in a Christmas card.  I shared my concerns about signs I saw after reaching out and that sent my rejection flag up the pole and knowing that the terms of any relationship going forward would need to be mutual.  I told her not to be pressured by others expectations and that while I don't condone hacking up the family tree, it is often necessary to either prune or limit exposure to family that makes you feel less than or constantly questioning yourself.  I know she doesn't want this but I also know that he has hurt her deeply and has his own issues to work out.  Sometimes the best thing you can do is to just leave the door open and if one day they want to knock with an olive branch wreath to hang on it then that's the best you can hope for.

Seeing the relationship between Jack and Kate feels so foreign because I never had that so I have nothing to compare it to.  As I told the Mr probably 20 years ago when he was acting as a therapist for me one night, as many husbands tend to do, I told him I missed having a father, not necessarily that one.  It's not that he's a bad guy, matter of fact, so many people at his work always knew this other side of him that was funny, charming and could sell water to a drowning man.  It's kind of the same with my mom.  I hear the way her friends talk about her or see pictures of her at outings cracking up laughing and it's like "why aren't you that way when we're together?"  It used to be that way but it's like parents have a block where their kids are concerned about letting them see too much of the other side of their personality.  I suppose we all do it to a degree depending on who we're with but when it's your parents, it can leave you feeling like there's a whole other person you didn't get to know.  At a wake, many people will tell stories about the person and how hilarious they were or something they did or said that was totally out of character to how you knew them.  When it's a parent, it can make it feel like the person was a mystery.  The best (but most extreme) example of this is the episode of Six Feet Under where Nate found out about a room his dad rented to get away from his life every now and then.  This scene shows it and it's NSFW so watch it at home.  He finds things leaving him with more questions than answers about who his father really was as people continue to tell him how hilarious he was and what a wicked sense of humor he had...far from the man he knew.

That show was the only other show that ever made me examine things in my own life and truly changed it after watching it.  It is still as relevant today so if you have Amazon Prime, get to binge watching!

What shows current or gone hit deep. emotional chords in you?

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  1. If you're going to spend time being entertained, it might as well be enertainment that can also cause you to think, or take inventory of your life. Anything that gets you to assess where you are is worth watching in my opinion and I am glad we still have a show that can do that.

  2. I super duper LOVE This is Us! I haven't watched it yet (thanks for no spoilers lol), but yahoo already let me know we find out how Jack dies. I'm not a cryer, but that show gets me most weeks. It's rare that every single character and actor is so well written and performed. And on network TV!!

  3. I haven't been watching This is Us. I'm thinking I may try to catch up on the first two seasons this summer. I don't want to jump in at this point, and I didn't watch the first season. I keep hearing good things about the show though so I kind of feel like I'm missing out.

    I don't know that there are any whole shows/movies that I feel that way about but there are certainly scenes from shows that really make me take a deeper look at myself.

    I think showing different people different facets of ourselves is normal. If you asked my son, my parents, my coworkers, and my friends about me you would likely get four very different answers with probably a thin thread of commonality that ties them together.

  4. I don't watch This is Us but I've heard really good things about it. The only shows I really watch on TV consistently are about five comedy shows during the week. Other than that I record a couple of other shows but have two seasons to catch up with both of those (my DVD is in protest and wants to be Other than that I have sports on most of the time because I can multi-task with those while cleaning or reading.

  5. I love the show. Jack reminds me of hubby so much minus the alcoholism.
    I literally cannot sleep Tuesday nights because I lay there thinking about my 15 years as the treasured princess.

  6. I love the show. Jack reminds me of hubby so much minus the alcoholism.
    I literally cannot sleep Tuesday nights because I lay there thinking about my 15 years as the treasured princess.

  7. My husband and I loved the first set of the TIU series when it was originally released. Loved it.

    When the second set came out, we watched a little bit and then had to just walk away.

    It had turned soap opera-ish to us. And there was too much dysfunction for me to handle. It bothered me.

    So we walked away for now. I can see that after the entire series concludes at some point in the future, we might want to watch the whole thing. Because at that point the story line will be wrapped up. And I can ask someone who has watched, if I will like how they all end up. I often do that with movies. I will ask one of my kids who has seen it if I will be okay with the ending. Because I can relax and watch it, if I know it will be okay in the end.

    I come from a whole lot of dysfunction. And I was the Line in the sand so my kids have no disfunction. So I have a low tolerance for watching it.


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