It seems trivial but it's not

Did anyone see the premiere of Ryan Murphy's new first responder drama, 9-1-1?  I had to watch it because I'm a diehard Six Feet Under (affiliate link) fan and love Peter Krause.) If you've never seen Six Feet Under and have Amazon Prime, it's free as part of the membership.  Watch it.)  As I watched the internet slam it up and down because it wasn't a "typical" Ryan Murphy show with insane situations that make you cringe and/or watch through your fingers, I had to shake my head.  I went straight into old lady mode...it's called character building.  Where you don't just glaze over something that has two lines and then jumps into the faceless demon literally drilling you with a strap-on.  (Yes, that happened...American Horror Story fans know the deal.  Last season was the first season I didn't watch because I'm done with the whole "how much can I shock you?" crap.  Boring.)

I actually admire that it gave you just enough of the taste of personal lives of the first responders to get across that those who run into danger deal with their own problems and demons.  I come from a family of first responders and health care workers on both sides.  Just like all of us, they are not perfect, and the way they deal with their problems or even egos that are a weird side effect of saving lives can be less than admirable.  This show, if given the opportunity, will shed light on that based on the previews for the season.

But here's why this show has me shaking my head, and it seems trivial, but it's not.  Connie Britton's character is a dispatch operator, but at home, she cares for her mother with Alzheimer's... "late stage."  Now if they'd just said Alzheimer's and left it at that, we'd have been fine, but they make a point of emphasizing late stage.  The problem is, her actions, abilities and cognitive function are moderate stage according to the Alzheimer's Association.  Why am I making a big deal of this?  Who cares what stage this is and what the exact symptoms are?  Because until you have watched someone you love more than anything deteriorate, the only thing you have to go on is what you see on TV or read on a website.  There is nothing that accurately depicts what actual "late stage" Alzheimers looks like because frankly, it's too ugly.  You want a true American horror story?  Real life late stage is it.  They have no problem showing us dead bodies on the news during breakfast or dinner (hence the reason I haven't watched it in almost 2 years).  They have no problem showing all kinds of violence and abuse that desensitizes us as a society, but God forbid they show the accurate depiction of this or any disease.  It angers me because some poor person who sees this show and is dealing with their parent, spouse or grandparents going through the condition assumes some myths portrayed in the scenes with her mother.  They may expect that they can carry on a coherent but sometimes confused conversation with them or read a book (that still has the Mr screaming).  That they'll still be able to eat somewhat normally and of course any caregiver that may come in when they're not there won't take care of them and will ignore them.

Can we please stop perpetuating stereotypes on all levels where this is concerned?  Can we get "real" about diseases of any kind if you're going to bother portraying them on your show at all?  It's admirable that they will eventually represent the hardships on the caregiver family member(s).  But showing the hired caregiver not doing their job the second they walk in the door is a slap in the face to all of the good home health care workers that give family caregivers a break.  By perpetuating this image, you are scaring and guilting people into feeling like they honestly have no other options than to take on a superhero mentality to do it all because no one else can be trusted.  That is unsustainable.  Caregivers need breaks...period.  They need to know that not everyone sent from whatever program they finally broke down and asked for help from isn't going to send them a worker that ignores the patients needs when you're not there.  I firmly believe this is the exception rather than the rule, but because it gets more clicks, you only hear about the bad cases.  Our hired caregiver is very trusted and takes excellent care of my grandma a few days a week.  She doesn't ignore her, her needs or even Grandma's husband who can be aggravating on a good day lately.

If someone you know is going through a disease, please initially go to forums and support groups online.  These people will give you a true picture of what to expect.  Don't get your idea of expectations from a TV show.  I firmly believe going in armed with a true representation of the facts will help you be better prepared for the harsh realities that may face you.  Obviously, every person is different, and one person's late stage may not look like someone else's but knowing what you could face will arm you emotionally and mentally for the road ahead.  I don't mean look up every horror story out there, there are plenty of those.  Do it once for a whole day, take notes and then stay off the internet unless you're looking for clinical trials, music, and holistic therapies or nutritional support- all of which can make a huge difference in the patient maintaining as much cognitive function for as long as possible.

9-1-1 airs tonight (Wednesdays) 9pm Eastern/8pm Central

Did you watch 9-1-1?  What did you think?  


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