Wedding Weekend Recap

We had a nice weekend.

Bye.

Just kidding.

We went to my friend's brother's wedding.  There are a whole lot of random observations from it so forgive me, it'll be scattered.  **Disclaimer:  I'm not going for some big religious debate, I'm just going to state a few observations, give some background and tell anyone who may be thinking of emailing me asking if I have a personal relationship with God that yes I do, we both do and we're good with it.  If you can't take some religious humor, skip this one.  I'd like to think God has a sense of humor as well and wouldn't want anyone to get their Spanx in a bunch in His name.  Amen.**

So the Mr and I were both raised Catholic, so even though I stopped going to church about age 8, I still went long enough to know what you were supposed to say during mass and when.  The Mr went through it all for much longer so he knew as well.  Turns out this church either does something different than all the other Catholic services or services are different here.  I used to go to this church when my other friend's mom wouldn't let her spend the night with me but offered to let me spend the night so my sinnin' ass could be dragged to this church.  (Trust me, when you're seven or eight, you're being dragged no matter what)  Their services were the same as the church I went to so I don't know when the shout backs changed but as the only non-Catholics (we're Lutherans now) in the crowd, we flubbed a few lines when they threw us curve balls.  I would notice he would stop the same time I did like "hey, that's not right!"  We thought it was one line but nope, it happened again.  That's when I decided I would leave it up to the pros and let the regular church goers pick up my slack.  I say Amen a lot though so I think that counted.

My attention span has apparently gotten much shorter because while I was listening to what the priests were saying, my mind kept wandering.

"That wine looks pretty pale.  I wonder if it's watered down or maybe they've been hoarding Boone's Farm Strawberry wine from the bottom shelf?"

"Why is the younger altar boy wearing tennis shoes?  He should know better than that.  Damn kids today."

"Ooh, look how the stained glass reflects onto the wall, I should take a picture of that."  

"I just saw the younger altar boy yawn his Amen...surely that's worth one or two Hail Marys.  Damn kids today."

"The maid of honor looks like an attention stealing soul suck.  Sorry God but really...look at her with the sneer on her face and then the look of utter sweetness when the bride looks at her.  Don't tell me You weren't shaking your head up there too."  (Turns out I was right on that one.  Can't go into details but lets say she left the bride high and dry in a time of need and upset her the morning of)

"Note to self:  45 minutes is when your big butt now waves the white flag and goes numb."

There are parts that I was used to being spoken that this dude busted out in song.  I was so taken aback I almost bit through my lip.  I almost busted out laughing inappropriately no less than 8 times.

Yeah so those were just some of the things I thought as I was in church for an hour Saturday.  It was funny to see that old church.  I'm pretty sure the kneelers are the same...not that I used them.  They gave us the option to sit and burying my face into the groom's great aunt Bunny's hair whilst I knelt on my already aching knees was not my idea of wholesome church fun.

A nice pic of the brides bouquet I snagged after the ceremony

When we got to the reception after a nice 3 hour gap (don't ask) we giggled when we saw where we were seated.  I believe they call this the "red-headed stepchild" table.  You know, the one filled with all of the friends of hers your sister made you invite?  I wouldn't have expected to sit anywhere else quite honestly and I was fine with it but if you've been through a wedding, you know your order of importance based on where your seats are and when the emergency exit is at your back, well...hello bottom of the social ladder.  We were seated with one couple we already knew, a guy I went to high school with and his partner.  The others were all people I'd never met but who apparently had heard all about me for years on end and were so glad to finally meet me.  How awkward is it when people are like "I've heard all about you for YEARS!  So good to meet you after all this time!" and you have never heard of these people?!  All I could say was "thank you and I hope it wasn't all bad!"  I thought saying "odd, she never mentioned you" would be a bit arrogant.  HA!  We ate a little bit and drank our waters while the rest of the table drank their weights in craft beers.  For a room full of supposed party people, not many people were consistently on the dance floor.  I even bought some flat shoes because I was eventually going to shake my groove thing but there was never a good enough amount of people up there out of 150+ guests so I never did.

Next time, dance shoes...next time.

Everyone was far too worried about getting drunk on all of the FREE booze.  See people, this is why you don't have an open bar.  People will get tanked, make moves on people they shouldn't (it happened), talk entirely too loud, be entirely too obnoxious and someone always ends up yakking outside too close to the smokers.  We had no alcohol at our reception (even said so in the invites) and we couldn't keep people off the dance floor!  Matter of fact, the dance floor was too small and people were flooding between tables and we had to scrounge through the dollar dance money to pay for another hour for the DJ!  People didn't want to leave!  The amount of drunken speeches at this wedding was enough to reaffirm why that was a good move on our part all those years ago.

But for being dubbed the "rowdy table" we pretty much stayed in our seats, chit chatted with each other and occasionally got up when my friend was able to make her way back there.  It was a nice time and who knows when I'll ever get to another wedding again.  It doesn't seem any of our family is primed to do so, so I think we're safe for a while for being put at the "lump all the freaks and singles at this table" table.  It's all good and I can't believe that little kid my friend used to fight with and pick on is now a married man.  I'm old.

Now if you'll excuse me, Kenny G's "Silhouette" just came on the smooth jazz station, maybe I'll rectify that whole no dance thing.  (Edit:  Done!)

How was YOUR weekend?

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