I've got a confession to make. I think I'm an interrupter. I don't know where it came from. I'm guessing maybe family functions where many would gather at once and spirited excitement and the want to be heard would ensue. It's something I never noticed growing up and no one has ever said anything to me about it. I think it's gotten worse since I work from home because I have so little interaction with others that I just word barf like they're about to ban speech. I'm sure I make people regret asking what I've been up to because it's (no offense) "someone other than the Mr to talk to!" I love the Mr of course but you know how it is when you talk to someone you don't see all the time. So my excitement to see other humans in the wild could probably get overwhelming and off putting to people. I do try to make sure I ask them what they've been up to and ask questions too. I'm not totally rude. I also think the way phone conversations are now play a role too. You know that cell phone delay? Well, you younger folks might not, it's just how it is now but back in the day when you talked to someone, you were hearing what they said, when they said it. Now with cell phones and VOip lines, there is a minimum of 1-3 seconds delay on conversations. I would think someone was done or couldn't hear what they said all the way because of the delay and I would find myself interrupting not because I was doing it but the delay was. I hate talking on the phone now because of that and I really love talking to people. So yeah, I blame technology! HA!
As with many things I see as I get older, I would find myself interrupting people and noticing it. (Until after the fact, of course) Sometimes the banter would continue as before and other times people would just be a little quieter because they probably figured they couldn't get a word in edgewise with my big mouth flappin', so why bother. It would make me feel bad but I could only imagine how it may have made the other people feel. It's not that I'm intentionally trying to do it, that I don't value what the person is saying or that I'm not listening. It truly is that I get excited about something and want to share in the excitement but just at the same time. I apparently didn't get the verbal timing gene.
Then I saw this saying on a blog a few weeks ago...
It really hit me and then it hurt me because to an extent it was true about me but it also didn't want people to get the impression I wasn't listening to them. I like listening to people. I like interacting with people but it may not be too fun interacting with me if you think I interrupt you because I think what I have to say is more important. That's not my intent and I know it can be misconstrued. The last thing I would want to do is make someone feel bad because I can't keep my excitement or passion on a subject in check.
It's something I really want to work on this year. I mean I don't want someone to start pointing out that I'm interrupting because then, knowing my smart ass side, I'd probably put a long pause on something to show I'm making that effort. Or depending on the time of the month, I might do the pause and say "oh may I speak now?" I know, I can be an a-hole...that comes from my paternal side. It's one of those things that will take a conscious effort because by the time I notice I'm doing it, I can't catch the words and put them back in my mouth. So I'll need to try to catch myself before I do it which I've tried and failed at miserably over the past few months. My ability to fly off the handle or jump to conclusions can also play a part depending on the situation. (You'd think with all the flying and jumping I'd be thinner.)
It's never too late to make a change...or at least attempt to.
What bad social habit do you have that you want to change?
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This by far is one of my biggest faults. I blame it on my large family, we are usually all talking at the same time and catch everything. It's considered normal in my family. It drove Hubby crazy. That and not everyone appreciates my sarcasm. I don't know any other way to be! Teasing and dogging had been our way of showing affection. I also refuse to tell anyone they already told me something because I think it is rude. This leaves me frustrated and listening to the same stories over and over again. Apparently I repeat myself often because I get cut off with people saying "you already told me that".
ReplyDeleteThis by far is one of my biggest faults. I blame it on my large family, we are usually all talking at the same time and catch everything. It's considered normal in my family. It drove Hubby crazy. That and not everyone appreciates my sarcasm. I don't know any other way to be! Teasing and dogging had been our way of showing affection. I also refuse to tell anyone they already told me something because I think it is rude. This leaves me frustrated and listening to the same stories over and over again. Apparently I repeat myself often because I get cut off with people saying "you already told me that".
ReplyDeleteI have this fault too. I took a class in peer coaching last year and she trotted out that same quote to us so often it kind of lost all meaning. The first time though, it hit me the same way it hit you. I've been working on it too, some days I'm more successful that others.
ReplyDeleteI'm also trying to ask follow up questions when people tell me something. I'm the type of person that assumes what you've told me is all you want to share about a subject, but that's not always the case so I'm trying to find ways to help extend the topic if they want to.
You just described me to a T! AND I work from home too. It started with that. I was so excited to talk to someone, ANYONE, that I would just ramble on and on and on. It's just awful!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, that's me! ...wait were you done? Lol
ReplyDeleteHA - my husband does this all the time!!! He runs over me in many conversations and I know it's just because he's excited, but it does have an effect on me and I quiet way down and just start saying Uh-huh, yes, okay because I'm afraid to say anything else other than one word replies. He's also working on it though!! I know that recognition is half the battle...victory is in sight, girl!
ReplyDeleteI have a tendency to "fill in the blanks" when people get stuck on trying to come up with a word. Kind of like finishing their sentences for them. I'm learning to just sit and wait it out unless someone asks for help trying to come up with a word, but it's a work in progress. I anticipate what the other person is going to say and say it for them. Not cool. I don't know why I do that, but I've done it for as long as I can remember. Now I'm more conscious of it and am trying to stop it.
ReplyDelete