Wednesday, October 7, 2015
The other night when we went to see The Martian, we knew we weren't done for the night. Before we left, our time ran short and we didn't make it to the grocery store to refuel on produce for the week. By the time we got to the grocery store, it was 11:30pm and it almost looked closed from the outside.
It's kind of awesome because there was literally two other people there plus the stocking workers. But then the awesome turned to a bit of sadness as we recalled this used to actually be our usual shopping time on the weekends when we were at our highest weight. The last thing we wanted to do at 455 and 494 lbs was make the rounds at the grocery store for all to judge during the day. It wasn't even that we had a ton of junk in the cart either. People tend to think the morbidly obese just fill their carts with Ho Ho's, Nutty Bars, frozen pizzas and ice cream. Our carts were filled with fruits, veggies, Lean Pockets, organic tortilla chips, Snackwells, microwave popcorn and stuff like that. Not the greatest compared to what we get now but not what most would expect to see either.
Then we'd have to go through the self checkout because they don't have cashiers on lanes that late. It would take forever but we liked shopping in peace. It's not like anyone ever said anything to us. The Mr said he remembered a few side eye looks into our cart from Judgey McJudgersons but I never saw it because if I had, I would've said something. "Eyes on your own cart!" I have never looked in someone else's cart, it's not my business and frankly, who has the time to do that?
Actually one thing I do remember from those times was how invisible we were. We had people cut us off with carts, walk into us, barrel down the aisle at us as though we were going to move (we didn't) and I had no problem saying right at them (but to the Mr) "are we f**king invisible??? Because I know you can't miss me!" It would get no reaction because I think they were surprised the fat girl would stick up for herself.
Please do me a favor. If you see a morbidly obese person in the grocery store, please just give them a smile and some compassion like you would anyone. It likely took everything in them to even go and they may feel like everyone is staring at them. There is nothing worse than feeling like an outcast and nothing better than someone smiling at you and making you feel normal and that you matter.
When do you usually go to the grocery store? Be honest, do you judge other people's carts? I won't chastise you. ;-)
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