On the Brink

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September, I was NOT sad to see you go.  I don't know what it was about that month but almost every single day was full of some BS crap we had to deal with that we shouldn't have.  When you pile what others may view as seemingly small stressors on top of each other on a daily basis, you have a recipe for a mental disaster which is where I was and am fighting out of now.  I am trying to look at this as a new start and pray things will get less shitty all around.  To get an idea of where I'm at, this arrived yesterday.  

It's not a self help book more than a way to get you to doodle out your triggers whether people, places, things, weather, etc.  It's all a workbook and drawing pages and basically a space to get yourself out of your head when the idea of a self help book makes you want to light one on fire and laugh maniacally. 

For all of the mental and some physical sludge I had to wade through, I can tell you one thing, Grandma has been there for me through all of it.  Like PERSISTENTLY.  (For those of you stumbling upon this, my grandma passed of dementia two years ago so feel free to skip this paragraph if you eye roll at signs from the other side.)   Songs with her name in them on stations that do NOT play that genre or era.  License plates.  Dreams.  My favorite was after a particularly bad day I felt compelled to flip through a TV menu I *never* look at and saw the kids movie Ferdinand.  I laughed a little because that was what grandma named this pelican statue she had on her porch.  I dismissed it as coincidence but a nice thing to make me think of her and opened my email.  There was a store email with a picture of a pelican statue similar to hers and right under it, a shelf named after her.  I busted out laughing and showed the Mr and he laughed and said "she is not joking around is she?"  He had two signs from her as well and said it's definitely her way of showing me that she's still here looking after me and is here for me during this very difficult month.  I am so grateful that our bond didn't die with her.

One of the things I had to deal with that I shouldn't have but I'm glad is now finally done, is my little tea nook.

The legs that came with it were crappily stained and too short for what I wanted to do so I added these legs and called it a day.  That corner was completely unusable space (where the bananas formerly lived) and the tea kettle was taking up another spot so this was a great use of vertical space for me.  Plus I needed something to break up that corner because it was bothering me so mission accomplished.

Anyone else got the Calmed by Nature YouTube channel going in the background?  I am LOVING it and as someone who needs something pretty to occasionally look at but not get distracted by working from home, it really does the trick for mental breaks.  I don't even pay attention to them sometimes and the other day while I was 'in the cafe', the Mr's like "is that guy dead?  He hasn't moved"  Then he moved.  Then he's like "is she ever going to finish that book??" and she stretched her neck and put the book down which then made us look around the house for a bug.  All kinds of ambiance depending on your mood.  You know I'm a sucker for falling snow or a cozy cabin.  Maybe a Christmas scene without decorating the house or a choir singing in the church.  Lots of fun stuff to have on in the background.

I did take some pics of the front side garden.

Little touches of fall color.  Then I had the pot in front of the porch.

I didn't have the heart to pull out the garden phlox so I let him peek out the side.  I'm glad the coral bells in the back took hold because I had my doubts when they first went in at the beginning of the month.

Today I have some spackling and painting ahead of me from another one of life's soul suck sessions so yay.

Y'all staying sane?  How's your week?

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