Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Comin' clean



If you've been following along, you know that it's been a very busy and stressful summer for us. When we were in Martha's Vineyard and The Hamptons, we went so overboard on food every single day, it wasn't funny.  I was under so much stress before we left with work stuff and was up until 2 am almost every night then back at it at 7-7:30 am.  It made for me indulging in a big can of  "eff it" on the food, water and exercise front while we were gone.  As you know, that doesn't make for a very good combo and when your "fat jeans" by the end of vacation aren't roomy anymore, you know you're in trouble. We never weigh in after vacations anymore for a minimum of a week or two because mentally we just are not able to handle it.  Usually, after a week or two of going back to normal with our routine, we can feel the sodium bloat going away, the endurance very slowly starts to creep back up and things start to fit better.

When we got home this time, we had a love letter waiting on us from our homeowner's association telling us we needed to paint our patio fence.  Well, our fence post was in horrible condition and I thought if I was going to repaint the fence then I wanted to bite the bullet and get that horrid fence post replaced before hand.  I mean, look at it!


So began our one-month ordeal of getting jerked around for a month by a contractor regarding this project as well as getting our bathroom remodel underway.  It's not something we wanted to do but a hairline crack in the sink had been put off for going on two years and since it was our only bathroom we knew if it split in half, we'd be screwed.

Since we decided not to weigh in, we wanted to let our clothes and the way we felt be our guide...something we'd never done before.  But we both felt so uncomfortable in our own skin and clothes that we'd know if any weight was being lost.  The first two weeks were a wake-up call as our endurance was in the toilet.  Almost 3 weeks of not exercising will do that to you.  We made a crucial mistake and didn't track our food.  We thought we'd give the whole "intuitive eating" thing a try and honestly, I think we did fine with that.  We've been eating the same crap for years so we're pretty in tune with what we're putting in our mouths.  The thing is, I'm very susceptible to bloat from sodium.  It doesn't phase him but I have always planned my meals to stay under 2000mg and even then I get very nervous and try to stay closer to 1500-1700mg if I can.  I don't have high blood pressure or anything but my mom has it and since I do hold water when I eat more of it, I have no desire to poke the bear.  Water was pure crap and you guys know that has always been an Achilles heel for me.  I just cannot force it down no more what tricks I try and when I'm stressed out, it goes down even further.

When we decided to take on the bathroom remodel ourselves, that came at the same time deadline wise that we had to have our fence done.  Between two coats of priming and two coats of paint in the choking summer heat, the paint was literally mixed with our blood, sweat, and tears.  Well, those three days of standing on the uneven ground in crappy shoes and crappy Croc flip flops royally screwed my legs to the point of hobbling.  I had to go get a massage and some serious adjusting done from the chiro to help even that out.  Right after the fence was done on Thursday, I think, by Saturday we jumped into the bathroom and so began a trend of "food justification."

"The Mr laid the floor all by himself...f**k contractors...let's go to a fancy dinner with all the fixins!"

"We removed the toilet and vanity, hung "shiplap" and a new chair rail that looked better than anything we've ever had and caulked the hell outta that thing...let's celebrate at another fancy restaurant."

Okay, so we may have only done that twice, maybe three times but then you throw Saturdays on that and they were so far out of control that by the end of the day, we felt like crap and full.  You know when you wake up full the next day, you are outta control.  This is where people would tell us to cut out Saturday high cal days, well just saying it puts both of us in a panic and immediately makes me crave everything.  We know ourselves well enough to know that we're not all or nothing people.  If you give me nothing, I will eat it all and do it out of spite.  We require moderation but we need to find a moderation level coupled with doing the things we know we're supposed to do like tracking and water and such.  We did that for the first time last weekend and it felt good to have a modicum of control back.  We've been tracking the past two weeks and I definitely feel more in control than I have in a long time.

That doesn't change the fact that I have 11 lbs more on me than I had before vacation.  Yeah.  (I did have it down to 9 lbs but gained two back for no reason and it stuck last week.  You can bet Middle Fingers was my song of choice those days.)

I've been using my workout "sucker pants" as my guide to how bad off I likely still am shape-wise because they've been rolling off my middle tire as I work out which didn't happen before we left.  I noticed the past two workouts that it hasn't rolled and that was from Friday when they did so I'm hoping that's a good sign and not just that the elastic band threw up the white flag and said "deuces" before tapping out.

We have never let ourselves get this out of control for so long and we're paying for it.  We have two months before another vacation and we have made it mandatory for us to exercise every day.  We did that when we went to Virginia and were very successful because we exercised daily without fail and we indulged about half the time there.  A week after our return, we only had 3 extra pounds.  I would like that to be the case again but I'd like it to be back to or as close as back to the weight I was before we left.  To ensure that, I'll be making batches of chili like I did before.  Maybe a couple of breakfasts and meals like my lower cal meatloaf and mashed potatoes so we're still getting stuff that feels like a treat but would be way less than going out.  Because we've been here before, we won't have that need to try every single restaurant in town and will only go back to the places we know for sure are worth deducting from the calorie bank.  We're hoping to paddle quite a few days as well which always burns a ton of calories but on paddle days, I still want to do a 20 minute HIIT or strength session too.

We're finally getting our head back in the game which both feels good and feels shameful because we've only hurt ourselves.  But we did still exercise six days a week since we've been back and we've eaten our usual stuff so I guess that's something to be proud of but I'll be more proud when my shirt doesn't hike up my gut or my sucker pants stay in place instead of heading south.

How do you get back on track when you haven't been mentally in the game?

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10 comments:

  1. While I am proud of us for going right back to the routine when we return, we're fighting a losing battle if we can't get some form of control on vacations and cheat days. We have a good plan and the one piece that is sometimes missing is that will to make it happen and turn our plans into as much a reality as possible. The idea that we can still indulge from time to time is what does keep us going, but we have to get better at knowing when to reign that in. I think we have a great opportunity to make the right changes and I'm optimistic!

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    1. We know what to do, we just have to care enough to do it.

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  2. It's so hard to get back into it. Good habits are so hard to build, and it's so easy to fall back into unhealthy routines.

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  3. I have to continually change things up. Two summers ago I joined DietBet after DietBet and it helped me lose my 33-lb. regain. Then last summer, it was a 53-lb. regain so I joined WW online and it got me re-focused. When the 3-month trial membership ran out I didn't rejoin, knowing I had regained my mojo and just used My Fitness Pal to track calories, and hit my goal before son's wedding last Oct. AGAIN....this summer I've got a regain to deal with. So I really understand how easy it is to get off track and the longer you go astray, the harder it is to get back on track. So this year, I once again joined WW online at the end of May, the membership expires the end of this month and I've lot 25 pounds of the 57-lb. regain (notice how everytime the regain gets larger). I decided to up my efforts so I joined a StepBet this time, and got in over 10K steps every day for 40 days, losing 10 lbs. during that time. Last week, however, was not good. After resisting temptation at a wedding reception/brunchhh on Sat., and then a family dinner out (with repeated refills of the chips and salsa bowls brought to our table) to celebrate a birthday, I lost my way starting on Monday. Everyday last week I decided I would get right back on the wagon, but it was not to be. Having the grandkids out Thursday and Friday and buying them junky treats to eat did not help. But yesterday, I joined another DietBet (my Stepbet winnings mostly paid for it!), and now am once again determined to lose this remaining 33 pounds and get back to my 150-lb. happy weight. It is really hard to get back on track....I'm living proof! But I am determined not to be one of those weight loss success/then failure stories, due to a regain. So I'm fighting it with every ounce of my being.

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    1. It can definitely be a battle but as long as we continue to fight to good fight instead of giving up altogether, we're better off!

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  4. Thank you for sharing your struggle. I appreciate you keeping it real - that's why I'm here.

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    1. I'm only sorry I didn't do it sooner, maybe I wouldn't have let it go as long! Thanks for hangin' in with me!

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  5. Boy, do I get this. Let me tell you right off though that I AM SO PROUD OF YOU GUYS!! You could have let this take you in a totally different direction where it had the potential to be devastating but you DIDN'T! You took the necessary steps to ease your way back to where you are now ready to do the detailed stuff -- tracking, water intake, sodium monitoring, etc. THAT is what *lifestyle* is all about. I can fully admit that when I started my new job (while in the midst of dealing with the suburb stuff) I let the exercising go. Trying to find a routine was next to impossible (in my mind) and I just didn't have any more to give --and once again, who I said no to was me. Not cool. So with this latest health news and my "assignment" I did a whole lot of thinking about my life over the weekend and something interesting happened. Instead of beating myself with a stick like I normally do (which does absolutely nothing to help)and berating myself for time lost, I just didn't pick up that thought. I literally said, "don't pick that up - if you don't pick it up, you don't have to put it back down again." Because once I started on the verbal self-abuse, it's much like food -- I don't have a stop button. What I did instead was just said, "Start Where You Stand." So I did. Planned my meals, didn't snack in between, got in a good amount of water (sipping, not gulping...wink wink), and got my swimming stuff ready for this morning and had my buttocks in the pool at 7:25am this morning and exercised for 1 hour and 50 minutes. It felt so good when I got back in the car and stared out at the river where I was parked. And instead of thinking, damn, I wish I hadn't stopped doing this for five months, I didn't even go there. I just said this felt great, and went on my way. Start where you stand. Amen.

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    1. That is awesome! What a great attitude and a great motto to remember. We can't do anything about what we didn't do...start where you stand. WORD!

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