Tuesday, January 5, 2016
My new motto
I don't really do resolutions. They typically just end up being a list of things I will be disappointed I didn't do by years end. I'd love to get organized and declutter this year but if I resolve to do it, it's not likely going to happen. (But it needs to happen because I'm tired of closing my office door.) I work out in an area that looks chaotic even though I know where everything is. I'm sure that weighs on me since I see it 6 days a week. So that's what I hope for myself.
But yeah, back to the motto.
The holidays brought a lot of things to light and when I found myself in tears or getting a tension headache everyday, I knew I had to re-prioritize what tenants I allow to rent space in my head. While obviously the Mr and I still have a way to go on our physical journey, especially after last year, I realized I need to do some serious work on my mental well being this year. It seems rather fitting that as I was making that decision, I came upon this saying on a sign. I didn't take the picture, the Mr took it to show me in case I hadn't seen it so we're obviously on the same page as to some personal work I need to do in the brain space this year...
I found myself, sadly, saying this new motto below in my head far too many times the past month or so. It probably isn't a feel good one that others will steal but it's mine...
(I thought balloons and fancy writing would take the sting out of it for some.)
Let me explain.
I'm a dweller. I look at people's situations that have super mega red flags and when they choose to ignore things, I internally get upset at their seeming lack of caring for their own well being. Behind closed doors, I rant, rave, question and generally take on stress that doesn't change their situation but brings my own health down.
So when someone I care about goes from having a manageable disease to having to go on meds, their doctor says "I can't care more than you do" and their answer is to basically say "I know" and indulges in behavior that will worsen their condition...then I have to say "if you don't care, I don't care."
When someone else I care about needs medication, has that medication and chooses not to take this potentially life saving medication but will take pain pills without fail, then I have to say..."if you don't care, I don't care."
When someone is not getting the care they desperately need, can more than afford and people are more worried about trying to keep things the same instead of admitting the time has come for the next step..."if you don't care, I don't care." (Well, I care but we refuse to voice our opinion on it anymore and be vilified. The Mr and I are obviously the minority on that one, so I will sadly have to distance myself further to keep from verbally exploding.)
When people are constantly getting out the yardstick to compare their lives to mine, humblebragging on themselves and just generally trying to make me feel bad about our life even though we don't and shouldn't...say it with me now..."if you don't care, I don't care."
I'm not trying to say my new mission in life is to become an unfeeling douche who only cares about her own life but to quote the good doctor..."I can't care more than you do" especially when worrying about these things affects my own health. I can't take on their issues when nothing I say or do has no direct affect on them changing their situations. I can't be there 24/7 to hold people's hands or stroke their egos to make sure they do what they need to do. They need to care enough about themselves to do the right thing. I need to focus on our health, living a life that helps us not need medications, to continue to live a life we're proud of and not letting others who are obviously insecure about themselves or their choices succeed in bringing us down.
This will be a year of redefining boundaries so I suppose if I had to choose a word for the year, redefine would be it. I will give my efforts to those who appreciate them and I will wish well those who do nothing but try to bring us down because it's no longer going to be tolerated.
I do have some wonderful people in my life and despite many of them sadly not being physically near me, I will do everything I can to nurture those relationships and remind them of how much they mean to me. For the people who seem to be looking to spread their misery or throw their health down the drain and then complain about how bad their condition is, I've got nothing for ya.
I have much I'd like to accomplish this year and cutting out some serious bullcrap is at the top of the list. I can't say it's going to be easy as my default setting is to take the abuse and cry about it later. But I have tried my best to be there for people, express my concern and feel like it's not wanted. I'll save it for people who truly appreciate and want what I have to offer. To quote Sargent Murtaugh..."I'm too old for this sh*t!"
Got a motto, resolution or word for this new year?
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