Wednesday, June 22, 2022

Hump Day Poll: Are You Able to Relax?


Are you able to relax?  

I don't mean like when you settle in and cozy up with a beverage after a long day.  I'll describe a TMI scenario that comes up in SO many marriage videos for our Workshop Wednesdays.  It is hard for me to fully enjoy sex because like my laptop, I have about 37 tabs open in my brain.  It's easy to say "imagine closing each of those tabs and focus on the moment" but I can't.  It feels impossible.  Even if I'm trying to talk myself into being in the moment, I'm still not in the moment because I'm berating myself for not being able to fully be present.  😫

Are you able to mentally relax and if so, what are your best tips for someone tightly wound who just wants their brain to STFU?

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8 comments:

  1. I have a hard time shutting my brain off when I want to sleep sometimes but usually reading a book at night does the trick - though I admit sometimes I end up reading a lot longer than I might want to before it works.

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    1. I've tried that and it does seem to help a little but then as you know, I wake up in the middle of the night and the hamster puts on some ONJ and gets Physical on the wheel.

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  2. Like the Mr., I like to read in bed before attempting to sleep. It definitely helps to quiet my brain and get me to relax, but the selection of book definitely matters. The book needs to be fiction, engaging, but not too exciting. I also try to set a time limit as to how long I will read, about a half hour, and will include it in my bedtime routine. That way I am still turning off the light at my preferred time.

    Outside of bedtime two ways that I am able to mentally relax is to take a hot shower and focus only on how the water feels on my body and to sit by a large body of water, focusing on the movement of the water. It helps that I live near the Atlantic Ocean.

    I too have struggled to be in the moment in more intimate situations. One thing that has helped me is to focus on what I feel under my hands, the different textures available to me, finding something soft, smooth, calming, which brings me back into the moment. I'll also be honest about what is running through my head, usually something silly or completely random, and we will laugh about it, which helps us reconnect.

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    1. So happy you have a nice body of water close by to enjoy! (We have a sea of orange barrels in every direction for about 20 miles) Those are good tips and I will give those a try.

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  3. This is where the mindfulness meditation helps me

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    1. I sooo wish I could meditate. Last night I literally apologized 6x praying from my thoughts wandering even when I was talking to Grandma after. LOL I did try again this morning. Something I really need to super focus on.

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  4. I'm about 50/50 on this. When I'm really upset about something it's hard to put it out of my mind completely. But whether it's been a stressful day or a regular okay day, I always, always play a funky solitaire game on my Fire. I do this to help relax, to distract, and to calm down if I'm on overload. I usually have the game music turned off too because sometimes that can be annoying to hear if I'm amped up. Like Browren above, if I'm by water, like a lake up north, all my stress and thoughts go out the window because I'm able to just focus on the sounds of the water and any bird or animal noises nearby, and my breathing becomes more steady and regulated.

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    1. On the bad days I will do an Italian lesson and/or pop bubble wrap. When we were on Long Island, it was easy to relax sitting on the beach-- even when I ended up in the water fully clothed I still laughed about it. I need an ocean or lake near me!

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