Survival Mode Put Us Back to Zero
A lot of you came here many moons ago when I left Sparkpeople. I loved the community of that place and the support I got there. It was at the height of us being on our game. That motivation you have in the beginning when you're consistently rewarded with weight loss, smaller clothes, compliments to keep your motivation high and you somehow begin to step out of being invisible to the public to people smiling at you, opening doors or striking up conversation. You start to feel human. You don't have to worry about going to restaurants or 'fitting' somewhere. You can go to a wedding and see those God awful thin folding chairs and while you still don't like them, you're not concerned. Many of your worries that fit people never had to think of, have faded away. We started for the long haul in our 30's and that's when we had the most success, losing 226 and 190 lbs respectively. When we went on vacation, as long as we came back and got rig...
That is exactly why you don't like to barf. All kinds of trauma behind it.
ReplyDeleteI have a good memory to share, I suppose:
One of my first real vivid memories of Christmas was the first time I had to be in the Christmas Choir as a kid. You had to be in 4th grade as that was the age to be old enough to be trusted with such an important event. We got in our uniforms and started singing Oh Come All Ye Faithful along with the (at the time) Men's Choir as all of us marched into the church from outside and everyone inside was standing to face us and smiling the biggest happiest smiles I have ever seen a crowd of people have. The church organ ( a huge pipe organ) was in the balcony above us and I remember being told that as we make our way to the front of the church we would have to watch our timing because sounds moves at 1100 feet per second and by the time we got to the front we were far enough away as to see his hand movements before we would hear the organ for song changes. Just always stuck with me because the Choir director and organist was our science teacher too. Being up on the altar with all my classmates and my Dad (he was in the Men's choir as well) was like a rite of passage for me since my older brothers had already done that before. Christas Eve mass was very special because of all that. Months of preparation. A few practice runs before the big day and that night it all just went perfectly and I will never forget it. Being a part of something big like that for the first time in my life at that point was just great to experience at that age.
I don't remember the circumstances but there is a picture of me when I'm around 3 yrs old standing with my sister in front of the tree and I'm bawling my eyes out. It's just the most pitiful thing to see and all I could think was why would you take this right now??? If I can find it, I'll send it to you. My hair was a lot lighter when I was little so it's weird to see. I was a cute kid as a little tyke...what happened?! Bahahaha!!
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