Saturday, March 12, 2011

Dear Body

I don't know exactly what it is you're thinking.  I'm nowhere near goal weight and not interested in maintenance right now especially after having worked my ample ass off all week.  5800 calories burned and for what?  For you to throw me another effin' goose egg.  I was actually excited about this morning's weigh in because I painted for 3 days, was so sore in places I didn't know still existed and burned so much doing it since I basically did everything except the trim from ceiling to doors to walls.  So I guess I get to cut calories now despite the fact I double the amount I'm supposed to restrict every day.  I have never been so close to quitting in 3 years.  I know that's what you want.  I know you want me to go back to my 100% complete sedentary ways because that seems to be what you're indicating by holding on to this weight and I want to fight but I'm beginning to think your will is stronger than mine.  I'm not in the mood for pep talks, I'm not down with the pitiful stares from the hubby, I just want weight to come OFF.  I don't do kickboxing, Turbo Fire, strength training and other forms of aerobics for kicks.  I have a goal for you and you're getting in my way.  You're draining my resolve and I don't know why we can't work together here.  My initial instinct is to tell you I'm not giving up and it's in fact YOU who will need to bow down to MY resolve but I fear it's hanging on by a thread.  Interesting that I decide to start a blog when my journey could be desperately close to the white flag.
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  1. I can understand how you are feeling. I am in the same position. On a normal week, I burn about 5000 calories running my butt off. I eat within my calories, drink my water, make healthy choices, resist tempting food...step on the scale feeling confident, only to find out that the weight either stayed the same, or even increased!! ARGH! So damn frustrating! But we have to believe that even though the number doesn't change, or hardly changes, we are still improving ourselves and we are getting healthier with every healthy choice we are making. We may not see it on the scale, but we can definately FEEL it, right? Hang on in there, keep doing what you are doing, don't cut on calories, I am sure the scale will catch up on how you are feeling. Don't let a stupid number bring you down, although I know how damn frustrating it can be, I am living with it too right now, but things WILL get better, I know it! We have to be patient and enjoy the progress of becoming a healthier person : )

    You are one of the strongest people I know, so I know you won't give up, no matter what. I know you will reach your goal, you are so determined and I wished I had your willpower! You are amazing! : )

  2. Your resolve is stronger than anything your body can dish out. You will get what you want, just keep hanging in there and it will happen!

  3. You have to remember that its not all about that number. Sure, the number on the scale is a HUGE motivator, but the important thing is your body, how it feels, how its getting healthier even when that number doesn't budge.

    Those places that hurt that you didn't know COULD hurt, those are muscles being used that have been laying dormant...good thing right!

    After being stuck at the same weight myself for going on 3 weeks now I know the feeling of wanting to give in, but I also know as long as I'm not re-gaining what I've worked so hard to lose so far, then what I'm doing is still doing some good.

  4. I'm just now reading this....and heading straight to my SP blog. Stay tuned. :)

  5. I have nothing positive to say about your frustration here and everythig I thought of would have to be edited for profaity. I'll just say I'm sorry.
    But I read this WITH your Dr. blog and I was blown away by what she said at the end of your visit "you've carrid that couple around long enough" Wow. Wow again. And you've managed to fight through to rid yourself of that man so I know you'll find a way to send the skinny B*TCH packing!

  6. I know you all are right, it's nothing I haven't dished out to other people when I'm feelin' all Chariots of Fire and stuff. In addition to this frustration comes the nasty hormone wave I spoke of in the last blog so I'm anxious to get on the new pills (in 2 weeks) because I am seriously close to saying things to people that will cost me relationships. I'm tired of the wild mood swings every other month so I'm praying that along with this pill some weight will throw me a bone and vacate the hell out. I am so tired of being miserable and putting forth so much effort for no results. I've lost 2 lbs in 4 WEEKS! I'm done with this crapola.

  7. Loved what Diane wrote, because I LOVED what your doctor said. I also had the thought you did, perhaps the new formula in the new pill will also help the scale number.
    thinking of you... Melly

  8. I don't know anybody who can fight hormone surges and obesity while shooting rainbows outta their ass and dancing with unicorns. It's ok to turn your back on those unicorns and rainbows, to focus on riding out this hormonal tsunami. You're only human and some days that's all you can be. I know you'll get back on the horse and hell, it may even have a horn!

  9. You tell it! I hope it listens but you tell that body what is what. I hope that it soon starts to listen. I have to believe it will. Just hang in there.


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