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Tuesday, April 5, 2011

You can't please please yourself

That sounded dirty!  Is it wrong that actually made me like it more?  A few people on the other site who had addressed the negativity we were seeing emailed me and asked if I was getting backlash too.  I didn't know what they meant until one of them pointed out someone's blog to me that seemed to directly reference a blog I'd written on the subject.   It kind of ripped people like us a new one for bringing to the forefront what many people didn't want to address.  (Though don't you love the misery loves company addage that seemed to rear it's head which is what I felt when this person brought this blog to my attention.  "I'm getting attacked but I think this one is about you!"  hee hee)  I was going to address it at the site because it was written by a friend who pops in when she can.  A response kind of got me on this whole train of thought about why we choose to go back to old, unhealthy habits that we know aren't going to help us.  (And I WASN'T talking about her just in general the people who have the time to do it but choose not to work their plan)  Then I found that as I wrote the blog, I was pussyfooting around and with every point I made, I would be apologetic about it.  Funk. dat. noise!!  I don't apologize for saying what 20+ people told me were driving them (and me) away from the site.  I had 85 positive comments (who knows if I had 85-100 more telling me to go F myself) 27 private emails thanking me or asking for help which I gladly gave and various goodies and comments thanking me for being honest for something they were noticing too but didn't say anything for whatever reason.

I respect everyone's right to their opinion and I know that my brand of writing can be an acquired taste.  I don't even mind if it's something you liked in the beginning but your tastes have changed and you no longer get what you need out of my writing and move on.  It's happened and you just accept that if your crossing paths continues or not, you found each other at a time you needed each other.  But I've gotten way too many emails of people who have changed their way of thinking based off of something I said.  Whether it was a long term change or a short term one doesn't matter...the point is the things I say effect people for some reason and for that I am truly grateful.  You know how they say for every 99 people out of 100 that compliment your new haircut, it's the one person who said it looked bad that you'll remember.  I found myself changing my writing because of one person's opinon and despite the fact I really like this person, I'm not going to start changing the way I write because I realize that even if I want to, I can't please everyone. 

There are hundreds of thousands of blogs out there not only weight loss websites but in the health and fitness blogging world.  If you don't like the tone of the writer, you can move on to the next to find the person that helps you get the most out of your journey.  That's the awesome thing about this whole weird world.  I kind of live by "you can't sugar coat a turd.  It's still a turd."  (Classy eh?)  My point of view may not always be popular and I'm not writing to be popular, I'm writing because if just one person tells me that my journey has helped them in theirs, it was worth it.  I don't think asking people to take accountability for their health is a bad thing and I refuse to tell one more person who continues to come up with a list of *lame* excuses as to why they're not putting their health first "atta girl/boy."  I was full of those excuses and I know the damage they can do.  What I wouldn't have given back then for someone to have given me a swift talking to even if it hurt my feelings a little if it made me wake up out of my self destructive behavior. 

So this is me.  Raw, unPC/uncouth sometimes but willing to share my story hoping that others get some kind of benefit out of it.  You can take it or leave it.  If you take it, thanks so much for sticking with me and the roller coaster of my brain and if you leave it, well,  that's okay too.

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  1. I've been reading your blogs here and on the other site for months and I've enjoyed every word. You make me laugh and you inspire me. Keep writing and being as open and honest as you've always been, and you will inspire more.
    ~ Holly

  2. I'm so glad I found this site. I've followed your other blog off and on when I've been "on". I love the "in your face" approach! Thanks for showing me that losing a whole person CAN be done! Like you said in one of your's not about motivation, that train has been cancelled, but it's just about DOING IT!

  3. You're always classy lady! :) So glad that you don't sugar coat anything or pussyfoot around any topic. This approach of yours is really what's kept me interested in your blogs.

    You're totally right about moving along to other blogs if something isn't enjoyable any more. I have probably 30+ fitness and food related blogs that I follow. When I was verbally attacked (that sounds a little harsh, but she certainly flipped out) by one blogger about enjoying MILK I deleted the blog from my favorites. No further thought given.

    Besides... blogs shouldn't only be about getting viewership.

  4. And that is why people that love your writing, do! Because tough love is called that for a reason...because it's tough, but it's love too. Keep telling it like it is, sistah-friend! Because when you stop, that's when you're no longer being YOU! So in other words - we love you just the way you are! :-)

  5. There's a fine line between "blog" and "bibliotherapy". Your honest writing never crosses that meridian.

    I wish I could say that for the spark blog (a popular one) that I had to unsubscribe. All the woe-is-me melodrama (in general) was better left to a private post or scribbled in a hello kitty diary.

  6. When it comes down to it, the only people who are offended are the people who know it's the truth. The truth hurts. But it's not like the truth is meant to just hurt. It's meant to open one's eyes to something that is actually even more hurtful. Sometimes we get ourselves believing that everything is okay but we need a 3rd party to point out the obvious.

    Keep up the honesty. We all need it!

  7. I would have to say that your writing style and 'tell it like it is' attitude is a big part of why I follow your blogs, either here or at the other site. If you change your writing to please others, you'd probably lose some of the rest of us who prefer you the way you normally are. I can go to any number of blogs and get the, how did someone else call it, oh, yeah, the woe-is-me melodrama! Frankly, I have a co-worker who regularly provides plenty of that! I don't need it or want it here. So keep giving us the REAL story!

  8. Watching you all this time on the other site I realized that you really can't pick up a turd on the clean side. So I am now working out daily. Ok 2 days only so far, but its 200% more than I have done in the last year. Sad. So keep doing what your doing, say the way it needs to be said and pffffftttt to everyone else.

  9. Thanks so much you guys! You all rock and I know that people who choose to follow my blogs wherever they are, are people who CAN handle the truth! Woot!

  10. I love your tell it like it is. I was just surfing that other site a litte bit ago and I was reading blogs going, "oh I'm so over needing this". I've noticed that I don't get one "ata girl" (not that I need it) from anyone over there since I don't regularly check in with them or I'm not part of their little group. To hell with them! I'm doing what is right for me. I might not be dropping weight like crazy but I'm consistent, I have a goal in mind and I'm getting stronger everyday. Let's see where they are in a few months. I know I will be crossing the finish line at Ironman!

    Sorry to ramble, I'm just sick of some people's attitude over there!

    Thanks for blogging girl!!!

  11. "you can't sugar coat a turd. It's still a turd"
    Us classy ladies gotta stick together! I love it :)

    People are funny like that. It's normal to let someone who has a negative opinion about you to get to you. I think that is human nature and it stinks. But like you said you cannot cater to everyone and you can't change who you are to make one person or a handful of people happy.

    I love how raw you are in sharing your experiences and journey and I have learned so much from you. You have given me a swift kick a time or two when I really needed it. You know I can't say enough good things about you. So if you ever need a pick me up, you know where to find me :)

  12. I think in some weird kind of way you were a factor in my making better choices. I didn't want to be in that "other" group anymore, so I started doing what I need to do. You rock, and if some people don't like to hear it, they can go elsewhere.

  13. I'm of the same don't like what I have to say move it along sista! I have my whiny moments but for the most part I keep on truckin along. If nothing else I'm healthier then I would be from doing nothing right? Keep being you~ I'll get over here and read your updates whenever I have time :)

  14. I left the other site because of the attitude there and the way that it was compounding other problems in my life. But I wanted to let you know that I so appreciated your blogs. And I have a whole calendar full of smiley face stickers to show that a change has been made. I have you to thank for that. So keep on keeping on and please do not water down what you have to say. Maybe the reason that it bothers them is because it is exactly what they need to hear and they just don't want to.


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