Monday, March 21, 2011
Where's yo head at?
If anyone checked in Saturday, you saw I am on week 3 of no weight loss. The Mr lost 3 lbs (a major rarity for either of us these days) and I'm happy for him. But I ask, how is it fair that he hasn't tracked the past 2 weeks and lost 4 lbs while I track vigilantly and lose 0? *shaking head* Oh I know "men lose faster / better / more efficient than women" but we've both been stuck in the same place for a while but he's pulling out of his slump while I'm still stuck in the muck. It only makes me want smack him a little. But seriously, I am happy for him even if it didn't seem that way. I sobbed uncontrollably for about 30 minutes. I mean I literally had no control over the tears rolling down my cheeks which is irritating when you're trying to put on makeup. It soured my attitude for a good portion of the day. I decided to put the final nail in the coffin by going to my favorite plus size store to confirm I'm still solidly in a 26 and not a 24 like I hoped. (Remembering I started at a 36 and owned 1 pair of 38's that never really fit but I still wore them a few times) One pair laughed at me, one pair screamed "give up" and the other said "uh yeah, I'm not even going over your hamhock calves so give it up sister!" Oddly it didn't do anything to my already pissy attitude, I just wanted to see how far I am from the next size down and they all sang in unison..."far." I am tired of tweaking, tired of number tracking, tired of the whole thing. I ate a lot more on our high cal day (or it felt that way, it was nowhere near some of our worst) because I just didn't care. I was so full that I was full into yesterday morning and didn't eat breakfast. Haven't done that for a long time and I hate that feeling. Lots of sodium which by mid-day made my rings impossible to move.
The trashman is here and I think I just heard the arm of the truck groan when it picked up our trashcan. We did a lot of work on the bedroom and some in the basement yesterday so our trashcan is more full than it's been since before we started recycling. We got our bedroom furniture this weekend and are acclimating to the new size of everything. It takes up slightly more room than our old one and we didn't have a footboard and now we do so there are just things to get used to as you navigate now. I won't be taking pics until everything has come together. We went all over town looking for a shelf for the bedroom at antique stores which of course we couldn't find. I found one on Etsy which should ship today and I'd better have 3 things I bought from a lady there in the next few days. I'm not real pleased with having to contact her 4 days after paying asking her when she plans on shipping considering I got other things I ordered within 2-3 days. I'm just ready for the bedroom to be done and the stress is showing up on my face. I look like a before Proactive testimonial. I rarely get more than one zit at a time but when I can connect the dots, there's a problem. So I'm hoping if everything comes together this week (including a trip to a big antique mall this coming weekend) will give my hormones a rest and clear my face up.
So where am I mentally this week? Well, I'm not happy but I'm not into the self loathing of last week either which means Aunt Flo's impending visit is oddly normalizing my hormones. So, new plan. Yep, another one. I'll be cutting 150-200 calories per day and keeping everything else the same. Basically cutting out either the peanut butter on my banana or a cereal bar at lunch and halfing my fat free apple dip to 1 tbsp. I knew there would come a day when those things would need to be reduced or cut out and that day is probably here. Who knows if it'll do jack crap but it's a start. If not, we'll then look at cutting back on high cal days or going to an every other weekend format there so pray this works because that'll just put me in a bad mood permanently if I have to cut those out/back. So that'll be the plan for the next month or so to give the body time to adjust...again. Next month we'll be throwing hiking into the exercise mix since apparently busting my ass with HIIT, kickboxing and strength training is getting me nowhere. I don't know if any of this stuff will warrant me any results but obviously what I'm doing isn't warranting any results on the scale or measuring tape.
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