Howdy do all? I hope you had a wonderful weekend and got in some rest, relaxation and got your chore list all checked off. The Mr's birthday was last week but we celebrated Saturday. My friend got me a $100 Goldbelly gift card when Mom passed and I used it last week to order Pequod's deep dish from Chicago.
I know, it looks burnt...it's not. You can read about it here if you ever want to try real deep dish that hasn't been super commercialized.
Grocery cakes have been horrible the past few years but they weren't as bad as this atrocity I made for the Mr. 😬
I attempted to use the Russian frosting tips the Mr got me a few years ago for the first time hence the pathetic pseudo flowers. I only had Imperial over butter and asked the Mr if he wanted butter for his homemade frosting and he assured me it was good. (Note: Never use margarine...BLECK. He said he thought it was good, all I could taste was oil.) I got M&M's (his favorite) as something to distract from what I knew would be horrible piping.
Later we had the cake and he opened presents. I used Mom's 'manly' paper so she was with us in some way.
He got some good old fashioned nostalgia items that he seemed happy with as well as a cushion for his work chair to cradle his bum. I know it wasn't quite the celebration it was last year but I hope it was adequate given all we're dealing with.
Oh, did I forget to mention in between all of that my grandma died? 😑 For anyone keeping track, that's my favorite great uncle in July, my mom the beginning of August and now my final grandparent in October which of course I only found out because someone other than my Dad's family told me. That is how it's always been, my father tells me nothing so I will give him what he gave me when I lost my mom, a bouquet of flowers to her service whenever that will be. I do not have the emotional fortitude to go back to a funeral home and relieve all of that so soon after Mom and if anyone on that side has a problem with that I guess it just confirms to them what they've always thought about me anyway so who cares. She was 91, I got to see her one last time at Mom's service where sadly she was still making excuses for her 60 something year old son and we knew it would be the last time we saw her so I'm not shocked by it. I don't know what it is God thinks I can handle but I'm about done with the tests.
The Mr wanted Panda Express for dinner since we had some gift cards from Mom's purse to use and as I entered the one I got her for Christmas I lost it bawling. While he was gone, I had a full on meltdown especially after getting a message from a page she followed that felt directed toward me. I was there for her sib the other day when they were having a meltdown and we cried together for 45 minutes. Thursday I had a gynie appointment and had a full on anxiety attack where the nurse had to crouch in front of me and hold my hands while telling me how to breathe and said we could reschedule. Nope. If you think medical equipment is somehow not going to trigger me in a month, not likely. Both of my friends husbands are going through medical issues right now and I feel helpless to do anything.
Sunday wasn't much better. I started writing our Christmas newsletter and you can guess how that went. Actually you can't because it turned into "it's a Tonight Dough for breakfast kind of morning" so there goes any chance for weight loss this week no matter how much we work out. I'd say a good two hour crying jag talking about Mom and Grandma and just the loss of that whole side of the family after the divorce so you know, happy stuff. We had Longhorn for lunch which actually wasn't terrible calorie wise but still. I just gave zero fucks after a really long, bad, hard week. From more death, dealing with being cleared down below but still needing to be seen for it once a year which can't happen at the same time as my yearly's which means the constant threat of biopsy in the worst possible place and general existential dread, I handled it poorly and that's that. I wanted nothing more than to give the Mr a tear free weekend but I failed.
I needed to get out and get some fresh air and since it wasn't going to reach 60 and it was peak we should head over to the historic district for a three miler.
It was the perfect temperature and it was a pretty quiet walk. We just stayed pretty silent and took in all of the beautiful decorations we encountered.
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| (I bet a lot of cursing happened when this went up) |
I burned 750 which should take care of the dairy breakfast we consumed. After that I couldn't regulate my temperature to save my life so it was grilled cheese and soup for dinner after watching the Hawaii / San Diego State game we recorded the night before. Then it was time for Waxwork so that we're getting into some of the more favorite movies of spooky season.
I need to plan out the strengths for this week. I think tonight will be a one mile WATP for a warm up to this total body workout. Then Wednesday will be leg day after a mile walk warm up.
Make sure to swing by tomorrow for a post in addition to the usual Wednesday schtuff.
How was your weekend?
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Everything was delicious and I appreciate you going to the trouble with everything else going on. I am glad we got that walk in yesterday cause it was a good way to get a nice fall activity in. I bet that place is great for trick or treating!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome. Don't forget the other half is in the freezer and it's gonna need to be outta there before I need to freeze Christmas cookie doughs. Hmmm, we might have to go there for Halloween just to see if they do get a lot of goblins. Lord knows we don't!
DeleteI am so sorry about your grandma. The family dynamics are a mess on that side, and that's a reflection of them, not you. Still another loss to have to face, which is never easy regardless of what the relationship was like.
ReplyDeleteI think the pizza and the cake look delicious! Your food choices for the weekend sounded just perfect. And those fall leaves!! Wow!! Those are some of the prettiest colors I've ever seen. I'm amazed at how vibrant they are...and how many are on the ground. We have very little change and only some on the ground here and there. The weather has been in the 50s for the past 10 days or so and that's been lovely. A few 60s this week and next week and that will be nice with some sunshine. We had like 12 straight days of rain or something like that, so dry ground is kind of nice right now.
Thanks mama. Yes, that's an understatement and there's a small part of me that is happy she's free of the BS she perceived as 'normal' her whole life. She deserved better than that and I have many good memories of her from before the divorce. We've got some good color which means that'll get blown off in storms soon! That's surprising you guys don't have good color right now!
DeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your grandma, so many passings in a short period, you are an incredibly strong person, even if at times you don't feel like one. {hugs} My weekend was spent giving numerous eye drops to my 12 year old Husky, he has an eye ulcer which is very slowly healing, hoping not to have to take him to an eye specialist. To top it off he alsohas a hot spot on his back thigh, so now he has to wear the cone of shame. ugh, the cake you made the Mr. came out better than the ones i make, mine are always lopsided! I really need to get back out there and walk, but eh, i just don't feel like it, need to find my motivation again. I hope you have a good week!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kat! I think I'm so numb that they don't tend to register anymore. In the middle of it with my mom when my uncle passed and in the midst of a horrible week from losing her when learning about grandma. The brain is in protection mode big time.
DeleteAww, your poor pup! I hope he heals up quickly and his cone of shame days aren't long. HA! - That cake was just so bad. I whipped it for 2 minutes like the box said and it was cavernous and full of holes. For me this time of year is motivation to walk because it's not flop sweat hot. Pssht, if you find your motivation, it's probably hanging out with mine behind a rock. You have a great week also!