Wednesday, August 25, 2021

Hump Day Poll: Not My Best Trait

What trait do you dislike about yourself?

I immediately go to the worst case scenario which flares my anxiety/induces panic attacks. ( I think much of that has to do with my parents divorce coming as a surprise to me so I always felt from age 9 on that the rug can be pulled out from under you without warning.)  

That also made me a control freak which I think I'm slightly better about but my brain refuses to not completely obliterate my mental state in times of stress.  I would change that in an instant if I could as it starts horrible spirals.

How about you?

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  1. I tend to overthink all the time. Even when people are talking I sometimes get so into my thinking that I can barely focus and listen. I have been better at it as I've gotten older and can notice myself doing it and ease out of it but it really hindered my ability to focus in school as a kid for sure.

  2. I care too much about people and situations where it is not reciprocated as strongly. I find myself sacrificing to help and put my own needs on the back burner. This results in me building up resentments.

  3. Gah, there's a lot. But one that causes me a lot of angst is my complete lack of organization on the personal front. On the job, I'm aces and super organized. At home? Nada. Case in point, this morning. I needed to find an mailing envelope ship something. Do you think I could find the envelopes that I KNOW I have? No, I could not. Are they with all the other shipping boxes, bags, etc? Nope. Because I know my brain said to put them in a *fail-safe* place that will be easy to access and you'll always have them at the ready. That, it turns out, was a big fat lie. And here's the sad thing... it happens every time! I have some kind of mental block when it comes to finding a proper home for things and then I spend the day berating myself for being so dumb. ARGH!!! Lack of organization causes me no end to issues and yet, I'm still a slug. Pfft.


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