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Tuesday, May 19, 2015

She's gone (she's gone)...oh why?

One more day of vacay for me yesterday and I didn't have it in me to edit pics...tomorrow.

But you may be wondering by the title why the heck I'm channeling Hall and Oates.  Well, remember a few weeks ago when I was singing the praises of my gynie?  I was calling her office to see if she was running on time or not and I can never remember her number so I looked it up on HealthGrades.  I saw in her profile she was 60 and I told the Mr "I'd better enjoy this time because she's gonna up and retire soon."

Well...sooner than I thought.

I went to check in and was informed she would be retiring the following month!  I felt like I got kicked in the gut.  I made next years appointment with one of the other ladies I know is in her practice and gets good reviews.  I looked and she's close to my age so I should have her for a good long time as long as she stays in the state.

So I went back and waited for her.  I got my tears out of my system and she walked in.  She did her usual chit chat, didn't mention a thing about retirement so I brought it up roundabout style.  She said she wasn't really retiring but taking on a teaching career and retiring from private practice.  She was offered a job where she's not on call for nights, weekends and holidays and now that her husband has passed (he was 20+ years her senior) she's ready for something new in her life.  I started getting teary eyed as I told her I was happy for her and then went on to full on ugly cry.  She got me tissues and tried to hold herself together.  I asked her who was going to guide me through middle age now?  She was like my life guru and now she wouldn't be there.  She said there were two other women in her practice and the one I chose to make the appointment with next year is the one she would recommend because she has a personality and is basically exactly like her in her personality and abilities.

We had a good talk and she told me not to succumb to the number where my age was concerned.  I told her all of the things that have happened to me since I turned 40 and she said if it happened when I was 35, I wouldn't have thought anything about it.  (I would've because being sick in one form or another for 5 months just plain sucks but I get what she was getting at)  She said looking back, her 40's were the best decade of her life and she wasn't just saying that because of my age.  She said you don't give a shit anymore about what people think, you live your life the way you want and your body hasn't begun breaking down in ways that you don't want to think about yet.  She asked if there was anything she could do for me and I told her with tears streaming down my face to go live her life.  We hugged and I told her thank you for making getting something as weird done as having another chick examine your hoo ha seem like no big deal and almost something to look forward to with her personality.  She laughed and told me I was sick.  HA!

Yesterday I received a letter from her that she sent out to all of her patients.  She tells us what she's doing and how much she's going to miss all of us.  She ends it with saying she wishes she could take us all with her but something in me suspects she will.  All of us in our own way touched her life too.

I can't tell you how much I will miss her.  I have trusted her for 20 years with my health and listened eagerly to any life lessons she was willing to pass along.  She was truly a rarity in this life of not just being an amazing doctor but a friend.  She, like me, chose not to have children and she was the only one who understood from the time I was a teenager that it was not my path.  I could confide in her about that and the scrutiny I received from family and strangers over a choice that was frankly, none of their damn business.  Her understanding and knowing that choosing that path requires support from like minded people was invaluable.  It's something I can never repay.  Now I will have to go through that weird period where you learn how much you can joke or not joke with a new doctor.  Humor is my defense mechanism in medical situations so we'll see how the new girl does with all this woman to take on.

Have you ever had a doctor change your life for the better?

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  1. I am sad for you as I know she has been so great for you all these years. It is nice to know she will be training future docs though so that is a good reason for her to move along. Hopefully this time next year you'll be writing about how great your new doc is.

    1. Yes, it's nice to hope her amazing bedside manner and ethics could rub off on future docs since we're severely lacking in that department these days. I have hope since she is good friends with her that the new doc will be a suitable replacement. If not, I'm in trouble!

  2. I know losing her as your doctor will be hard, but it sounds like she is making the right choice for her. I have had good doctor changes, but they've been because I didn't like the previous doctor and have gone looking for someone else, not due to retirement.

    1. Yes it does and I hope she's happy. She deserves time to herself to enjoy her life since she's spent so much of her time helping us.

  3. I am so jealous of you for having such an amazing relationship with any doctor. She sounds wonderful. I hope your new doc, personally recommended, will be just as fine, but it sounds like the retiring doctor left a big speculum to fill.

    1. ROFLMAO!!! Yes, she does. I can only hope the new doc is even half as good as my old one. She was one of a kind for sure.

  4. I had to switch doctors in the middle of my second pregnancy. I had to leave the doctor that delivered my son, that broke the news to me that my second pregnancy was no longer viable and she then did the d&c. She literally dried my tears. She was in a practice of about 6 amazing OB/GYN that were all female. They have you make appointments with different ones during your pregnancy because whoever is on call is who is most likely going to deliver your baby. I didn't like the idea, but that is how I met her and found the one that I would call "mine" She was able to be there for everything. Then my husband switched jobs....switched insurances. She was no longer able to be mine. Haven't found a replacement yet...13 years later.

  5. I lost my gyne of 10+ years a few years ago and was devastated-- and I worked in her office! She, too, is teaching and just got tired of all the b.s. in the clinics. It was very difficult for me because she knew my history of child abuse so seeing my innards and the damage made sense to her. She also has a family hx of alcoholism, so we related on many levels. She was one who would remind me to detach and not try to change anybody and keep the focus on myself. I still miss her to this day, but a friend of mine is friends with her so I get updates on how she's doing.

    I switched primary docs and have a male doctor who is a different race than I am and he is a hoot. He's very real and doesn't talk any fluff and just tells me like it is. We've talked about some of my family stuff and he listened without judging and shared a bit out his own family business that was similar. My doctors in the past have been complete nut cases, so he has been a blessing. Not a warm and fuzzy kind of guy, but very practical and doesn't get caught up in the politics of healthcare.


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