Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Hump Day Poll: Quitting with Flair

I was reading an article a few months ago about how Office Space is 20 years old this year.  If you do or have ever worked in a cubicle, you know how dead on it is about the types of people you will need to coexist with.  Some people make the day a pleasure and others make you start a bail money fund under your desk drawer organizer.   Some of us dream of murdering a printer or quitting with flair like Joanna did.  (Beware: finger gestures in case you've got people looking over your shoulder.)

For 6 months, I was so done with my job that I typed up my resignation letter, and at the end of every day, I changed the date I wrote it and my final day of employment by one day.  I'd already talked to the Mr about it, and he was about done with them too.  I got word from two employees that had moved on within the company that our branch was being shut down, but they were delaying telling people.  I tricked them both by pretending I knew and they confirmed it.  Amateurs.  So I knew my days there were numbered anyway but not sure by how long.  I began to slowly empty my desk for over 2 months.

One day, I brought in a grocery bag and just got all of the personal crap out of my desk.  Post it notes, cards from co-workers, toys, and gadgets like Penelope from Criminal Minds.  Then I started going through manuals and binders another week.  I took the day by day flip calendar because I always wrote personal stuff on it, people signed it or wrote silly messages.  I purged old stuff the new girl to take my place wouldn't need.  Finally, as I could feel my fuse getting shorter, I took down all of my pictures except for two.  On the day I had enough, I checked with the Mr via chat no less than 5x if it was okay to quit my job of 12 years.  He said yes, we had some side businesses at the time I could look after, and the abuse was too over the top for me to put up with.  After I regained some form of composure, I printed the note.  It was updated to reflect my supervisor had just yelled at me for having my work done and offering to help a co-worker with her backlog.  This was after named supervisor just spent 45 minutes laughing it up about personal stuff with her co-conspirator which was a daily occurrence and of zero consequence to her.  I called her supervisor and asked if we could chat for a moment in private.  We stepped into an office, the color drained from his face as he read it then turned bright red as it often did when he was flustered and he said he understood.  I never felt such relief.  I came back to the desk with a smile on my face as the supervisor walked past me and to my supervisor to tell her what just happened.

My friend who knew my plan said: "you didn't."
I smiled..."I did."
"I hate you."

I didn't even get to spend my full 2 courtesy weeks I planned to work.  (Do people still do that?)  Apparently, my newfound gleeful attitude was too much for people to take so they let me go three days early with pay.  That manager had to stand over me as I got my stuff.  I looked back at him and said "really?  Do you think I want ANY part of this place to take with me?  I cleaned out my desk months ago if anyone had bothered to notice."  He hung his head and said it was protocol, but he'd give me a minute.  I had dinner with my closest employee friends there on what was supposed to be my last day, and they said I never looked happier.  They were all fired except for five of them within 18 months and let me tell you, loyalty counts for nothing.  They fired a family member who recommended me for the job after 30+ years of service, so you don't owe a company shite.  If you're miserable and it's affecting your physical or mental health...leave.

But that's not even the example of quitting with flair.  The Mr wins that one hands down.  We've worked together most of our lives.  It's how we met and when we weren't working at the same place, we were working beside each other.  The second place we worked was a less than bragworthy job that I just was not cut out for.  I wasn't meeting the quota moneywise because I wasn't a heartless shrew, so they fired me.  Afraid, the Mr was going to leave too after seeing his attitude change from nice guy to depressed, they offered him a job in computers there since he seemed to be so good with them.  He eventually took over, but they never paid him squat.  He was actually making less because he had no commission like he did on the other job.  He was frequently barked at and berated by a petulant manchild we called a boss.   When a person who doesn't understand computers thinks they work by magic and never make mistakes, there are a lot of unrealistic expectations, and he was almost fired because the man failed to comprehend how a system could "time out."  Thankfully, an unlikely source stepped up and told him it happens, and it wasn't the Mr's fault.  Our marriage was coming up, and he knew he needed to get out.  He basically did the same thing as far as needing to just grab what he came in with that day to leave.  The computer experience he gained there allowed him to apply for similar jobs elsewhere.  He hit the jackpot with a place that would train him, and now he just needed to get the courage to tell them.  Well, he got it when he came in after accepting the offer at the other place.  The boss barked a system was down, fix it now.  He got up, went into his supervisor's office and said he accepted another job.  He was speechless because he knew how much they depended on and needed him.  He placed his head in his hands, and when the Mr tried to talk, he said: "just go."  So the Mr. got his crap, got on the elevator and left without fixing the system that was down, thankyouverymuch!!  He was feeling  awesome and treated himself to a solo movie..."Mission Impossible!"  Fitting, ain't it?  What he didn't realize is when the supervisor said "just go," he meant to leave his office so he could think of how he was going to break it to the manchild, not your time is served here!  That just makes it so much better because the Mr was just doing what he thought he was being told but to everyone else, it looked like "badass just left, yo!"

When he got home, his mom said there were frantic calls from the office asking where he was, blah blah.  He got in touch with them and said he couldn't give notice, he had to start the following week, and it's been real.  I don't know whether or not that douche nozzle of a man learned that you can't treat people like human pieces of toilet paper or not but I am damn proud of the Mr...the ultimate Mr nice guy to most...for doing something no one ever thought he'd do...even if he did it inadvertently!

Have you ever quit a job with flair?

Like this post? Don't miss another one...subscribe via email or RSS feed. (Or you can follow me on Facebook This post contains affiliate links which are of no cost to you to use and help keep this blog running.  See the Disclaimer page for more info.


  1. I've never quit with flair. I've been lucky in the jobs I've had. It used to be that a 2 weeks notice was expected courtesy (30 days is actually written into my contract since licensed teachers are hard to find on short notice during the school year) but a lot of employers are impatient and won't allow a person to wait 2 weeks to start. Then those same employers get all bent out of shape when they don't get notice when people leave. One more symptom of an often selfish society. I love the story about your Mr - how funny.

    A former co-worker of mine wrote a letter of resignation at the end of each school year. It never really felt right, and then one year it did feel right and she found a new job in another school.

  2. I've never quit a job with flair. I've always given a minimum of two weeks' notice, and usually gave between 3-4 depending on the job. I've been tempted not to give notice at some places, but in the end, I felt better following through on my commitment, and I always, always, left a great binder of notes and instructions for the next person so they could have a smooth transition since I knew the training would stink for them.


Thanks for taking the time to comment! I appreciate your time! (Heads up though...disrespectful or spam comments will be deleted.)