Thursday, April 17, 2014

Don't go yet

It has always puzzled me how people view those who have left this life.  I think so many tie it to religion or think it means one thing or another to other people so they don't want to say if they believe or not.  I think some people are more in tune to "signs" from beyond that let you know that the people you love are still watching over you.

I'm not ashamed to say I've had a lot of experiences with people who have passed.  I don't mean like I'm some kind of psychic or all...I see dead people.

My experiences have typically been in dream form.  I don't mean just when I'm thinking of them either like right after a death.  I could go for months not necessarily thinking of them and then I'll have a dream and sometimes I'll remember what the situation was but most of the time I would just remember that a loved one was in the dream.  Any show or supposed expert about this topic says that if you remember nothing other than the person was in your dream, that is them saying hello and that the context of the dream doesn't typically mean anything.  That, of course, assumes you believe in that kind of thing.

When my father in law was sick, the five months of his relapse before passing, any time I happened to glance at the clock, it was 9:11.  I didn't know what that meant, if anything but I hated that almost any time I would glance, there it would be.  When the day rolled around, we were on vacation and I didn't know it was September 11th.  (You know how you lose track of all time and dates when you're away)  It turned out to be the Mr's last conversation with his dad where he was lucid and happy.  It was an amazing gift and it wasn't until he passed we realized what day it fell on.  Might mean something, might not.

When our dog had to be put to sleep, the morning after we buried her, the Mr and I were upset and he looked outside and his eyes got big.  "Look!"


That looks like that EXACT silhouette of our little girl.  It was comforting and made us cry.  Even though some would say it's a pretty weak 'sign', in that moment we were meant to see it and the sun never hit that plant the same way again to make the same silhouette.  A few days later, the Mr and I were in bed and turned over to go to sleep.  At the exact same time we both heard the sound our dog's collar tags made when she would shake her head after a nap coming from her bed on his side.  We both sat straight up and turned on the TV and looked over.  Obviously she wasn't there but we both heard it and jumped at the same time.  It was both freaky and comforting.

When my grandpa was sick with pancreatic cancer,  we knew that his time was limited but he was having a good week so there was no reason to feel like we needed to be by the phone.  (Pre-cell)  I bought him a card and we ended up at Hobby Lobby.  We looked at the clock and it was 8:45pm.  As we were heading toward the checkout area, I got a whiff of this candle that smelled exactly like my grandpa's cologne. I stopped in my tracks and picked it up and took in a big, deep breath of it.  It felt like a big hug from him.  I looked down and the name of it was "angel."  I showed it to the Mr and got a big pit in my stomach.  We bought the candle.  When we got home there was a message to call my mom.  I called and he ended up in the hospital and passed at 8:45pm.  I'm sorry but you can't deny that.  (I still have the candle)

That same grandpa came to 'visit' the day before yesterday.  I don't remember the circumstance of the dream but I remember him kissing my forehead just before I woke up.  When I woke up, I desperately tried to go back to sleep...to somehow grab on to him.  I wanted to say "don't go yet!"  But the message was received. He was still showing me he loves me even 13 years after his death.  I'm still his 'snickle-fritz.'  :-)

My aunt has gotten similar signs from him but my mom didn't believe for a long time until her dog died and she got a few signs that she couldn't ignore.  I was grateful because I felt like her being closed off to the things my aunt and I experienced  was really sad.  My aunt said their sign to each other were butterflies.  A few days after he passed, she was turning left and in the middle of the intersection, a huge butterfly landed and kept banging into the windshield, scaring her and causing her to slam on the brakes.  Just as she did, a car ran the red light and 3" more into the intersection and she would've been t-boned on her side.  She said she has no doubt it was him.

Sometimes when I'm upset about my grandma and the dementia, I wonder if she'll visit me when she's gone.  I wonder if she'll tell me that the times she felt lost to us she really knew what was going on but couldn't verbalize it.  I wonder if she'll tell me how scared she was like I fear or how embarrassed she is that everyone knew her private business.  I wonder if she'll tell me how proud she is or if I'll get one last "you were my first grand baby" and lay her now perfectly coiffed head on my shoulder with that scent of White Diamonds enveloping me.  I don't want to say I'm looking forward to that because I know what that would mean.  But I miss it.  I know she's in there and I know I won't see that part of her again until she's gone.  The soul that has touched my life so deeply and has loved me since I was a baby.  The part of her that recognizes me and what our relationship means to her too.  I guess to some degree that's the only comfort in believing in the signs, I know I'll see the "old" her again one day even if it's not in a traditional way.

I have no choice but to believe and you can agree or agree to disagree and that's fine. I just know that I feel blessed to still have those I lost still around me in one way or another.  I never know when they'll pop in but am grateful when they do in whatever way it happens.  A dream, the scent of a perfume, the silhouette of a plant, it doesn't matter but I'll always have that greedy feeling to hold on to the moment as long as I can and I'll always want to say "don't go yet."

Do you believe in signs from your loved ones?  Share any you may have experienced.

====================
Like this post? Don't miss another one...subscribe via email or RSS feed. (Or you can follow me on Facebook )

18 comments:

  1. I am a firm believer and these signs are comforting to me because it leaves no doubt that there is more out there even beyond death. Just feeling a presence of someone you've lost is comforting and I agree that dreams are a great way to experience that feeling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah you and I have definitely had our signs over the years. It kind of sucks you can't make them come to you when you need them the most. (IE- going through hard times, need guidance and wish they'd give you a sign as to what to do) I'll take what I can get though!

      Delete
  2. Yes. While I tease my husband about it (to get him to sigh and roll his eyes) I really do believe we have Ghost Cats. I have felt them jump onto the bed numerous times and heard them scratching the carpet (this was when we were briefly cat free after our brood had died off).

    Every now and again, our current cats will be walking along and move like something just goosed them or they will run and act nutty for what seems like no reason (which, I know, is kind of just a cat thing). I'll joke that they got spooked by the Ghost Cats.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People try to say that animals can't possibly come back because they don't have souls and such. Uh, anyone with a pet knows that isn't true. Those things have better personalities and concepts of unconditional love than most people! I have no doubt your lil nuggets are sticking around the give the current kitties a goose or two!

      We have what we call the "ghost step." When we'd workout back in the day, if our pup was needing her "alone time", she'd go under the stairs. A few times when she'd hop up too soon, she'd whack her head on the step. Since she passed, the step she would hit her head on will occasionally "adjust" making the same sound. We've checked it and all of the stairs around it to reinforce it but nothing is loose and it doesn't happen when there are temp changes or anything like that. So we'll just say "hi" when it happens. LOL

      Delete
  3. I do absolutely believe in signs. I do sometimes wonder if those signs are our subconscious bringing memories to the surface or if they are truly from "beyond" - but either way they can definitely bring comfort even while there is sadness. I don't know that I've had any experiences personally, but hubby has. A few months after his mom passed he had a dream where she told him she was ok and that it was time to let go. That's hard to just explain away.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think when someone first passes, its like that "transition" period where they're hanging around to help you ease into physical life without them. What a wonderful gift from his mom and yes, it is hard to explain away so you just embrace it as something you can't understand but have faith in.

      About 6 months after our dog passed and we weren't obsessing every moment whether or not we made the right decision, I had a dream where I walked into this old house and my great grandma and grandpa (different families, never met that I know of) were talking in the kitchen. I wandered into the living room and my father in law was playing with our dog on the floor and smiled at me. I sat down on the couch to watch them and she hopped up on my lap and all of my relatives that had passed sat around us and she hopped from lap to lap as happy as could be. It made me feel better to know they were all watching out for her and playing with her until we could be together again. :-)

      Delete
  4. Waking up from the dreams are the worst! I have dreams about Sarah still but I remember one of the first ones after she died came a few months later. She was wearing all white, looking beautiful as always and I asked her what she was doing here. She said I came to dance, smiled and walked away. Still brings tears to my eyes. I know they send signs to let us know they are ok and are still with us. I have had a dream about Meow since he died but other then that I haven't had a lot. I think he led me to Drake and somehow made me feel ok about opening my heart to another animal. But that one might just be wishful thinking. Thank you for sharing this

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a beautiful dream about your friend! It brings a sense of peace that you become so grateful for. I think the animals we love will give us a sign that it's okay or lead us to our new furry loves. They got to experience our open heart and love for them and would want us to share it with others if that's what we want. So I don't think it's wishful thinking at all. ;-)

      Delete
  5. Those are all incredible signs and I also believe that our loved ones can make contact after, if only we are willing to be perceptive of it.

    The one that sticks out the most for me, is we had 2 dogs. The night we had to put our oldest dog down, we took her to the vet and came home and were obviously very upset. My husband was sitting on the floor, playing with our other dog when we got home, as we wanted her to know we loved her and our dog got in his lap, facing forward, sitting on her bum, wrapped her paws around his neck, squeezed and set her head on his shoulder, as if to give him a hug. She has never done this since and we feel as though it was our other dog, telling us she was OK and she still loved us.

    These moments mean so much and I wish more people were open to seeing them. Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my gosh, what a beautiful moment! I think that was absolutely your pup working through her buddy. Animals love is just so pure, it's amazing. I've always said we can learn so much from them. They've got their priorities straight...eat, sleep, play, love! :-)

      Delete
  6. I totally believe that there is life after death and our loved ones are happy and pain-free. I know they are watching out for us as well. I think dreams about our loved ones are sweet gifts given to us. A brief visit to let us know they are doing well and that they love us! It is such a comfort!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree! It's such a wonderful gift and great to know that we can still have meaningful moments with them when they're gone.

      Delete
  7. I was always very close with my grandmother, and i really believe she follows me. She always used to leave a stack of papertowels torn in half and neatly folded next to her sink - and occasionally i'll find one. Unless i'm doing it unconsciously, its got to be her. She always ALWAYS used lavendar soap, and I'll catch a faint smell of it sometimes.

    The weirdest one was last thanksgiving. I was making her famous apricot bundt cake for the family, and cut the tv on. I never watch tv when I cook, because I just enjoy the silence - but this day I cut it on for some background noise. Gone with the Wind was on as soon as I cut the tv on, her favorite film of all time (on a channel we never would've watched). I think that was her way of telling me she was there with me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is awesome! I'm sure it's her getting through to you any way she can. Those signs are undeniable!

      Delete
  8. I've had many dreams about loved ones who have passed and they are usually comforting. For years and years, I will occasionally dream that my father has been alive all these years in hiding (he died when I was 15), and that upsets me. I'm not sure what that means. . When my husband's favorite aunt died we had a fire fly like light fly through the living room. And last but not least, after my cat of 9 years died both my husband and I briefly saw her run between us in to the kitchen. . We really did.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I looked up your hiding dream and it says "To dream that someone is hiding indicates that you are looking for a sense of security and protection." Does that make any sense? Of course dreams are up for interpretation but still.

      Aww! SEE, you can't deny stuff like that when TWO people see/hear something like that!

      Delete
  9. Whoa that was a very nice read! I absolutely believe in signs. The portion about your dog made me tear up, I can't imagine losing my girl.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad to hear of another believer! Yeah the animal stuff can really get to ya. It's like confirmation that they loved you just as much as you loved them when they were here. :-)

      Delete

Thanks for taking the time to comment! I appreciate thoughtful readers like you! If your comment doesn't show up right away, check back in a few minutes. I promise it'll get posted. The system can get a little glitchy. (Rude or spammy comments will be deleted. Fair warning.)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...