Howdy do and happy Friday to you!! Did you have a good week?
A bad week?
A week?
I hope you were able to find small joys if it was a crap fest. The frames for the interment service came. Who knew you even had to plan one of those? I planned the visitation/service and then I looked up 'what happens at an interment ceremony' and all of these ideas popped up and I'm like "well, even if it's small, she deserves another beautiful ceremony." I'll go into details on that next week. I promise this won't be an all death, all the time blog but I just have a lot I need to get out and the messages/comments really help when others have been through it. As you know, we're greeting you from the land of numbness and denial which is, for me, turning into anger and irritability.
I think the pressure of having to feel "on" for 5 weeks whether that meant being there for her, trying to advocate for her, trying to get some effing answers while the medical field wanted to play hot potato or 'not my problem', going from hope to no hope to WTF just happened has battered me more than I'm even able to convey. I've had several friends who went through medical things with their parents say they have no idea how I'm still standing given the whirlwind of it all to her being gone. I'll be honest, I don't know how either and really, I don't feel like I'm standing. I feel like when you walk out of a pool after floating for a while and as you walk up the stairs, the gravity of your fat ass just seems 1000x heavier than normal.
Now let's walk into:
11 Biggest Benefits of Walking to Improve Your Health (It's going to have to be what we do to work some activity back in.)
Why Increasing Muscle Mass May Help Decrease Injuries and Age-Related Illnesses (Duly noted. I need to start adding band exercises back in.)
11 Tips for Anyone Who Doesn’t Know How to Relax (That would be me.)
If you really want to change your life, start doing these 10 things every day (My posture super sucks.)
7 things people with nice-smelling entryways always do (Both Mom and Grandma's house had a distinct smell when you walked into their homes and you knew where you were just by smell alone. Ours smells like nothing. We can be gone and come back 3 weeks later and it smells like construction and despair.)
What really is plus-size fashion? Experts weigh in on the term’s ever-evolving meaning (Interesting how much sizes change over the years)
6 Ways to Prevent Tick Bites Year-Round (Keep those lil bastards at bay!)
How to Sell Stuff You No Longer Need (Looks like I'll have some of this in my future.)
A reading guide for grownups who don’t read (I'd really like to get into reading more so this could help. The next on my list is a read my dear friend got me called How to Carry What Can't Be Fixed: A Journal For Grief)
How to DIY an Apothecary Cabinet (I'd so do this if I had room.)
How to help Maui fire victims: 6 things you can do right now (PLEASE consider donating anything you can, even $5. I think people think "oh they live in paradise, they don't need my help." The LOCALS- those born and raised there- need everyone's help as they navigate now being homeless, losing family members and pets to the wildfires. Our hearts are broken for you Maui and devastated at the loss of so many wonderful memories along Front Street which is now gone. Kimo's, where we celebrated our 20th anniversary (and many other anniversaries), is no more and none of it will ever be the same. I can't stop crying looking at the devastation and knowing the way we left it is not how it will ever be again. Me ko makou aloha a malama.)
Miss some posts here this week? Grab some tissues and catch up below:
I have zero idea what we're doing this weekend. My subconscious brain says I need to clean the house as we have 5 weeks of "throw it on the floor/table/by the banister" all over the place but the body and conscious mind are like "EFF DAT NOISE! If you ask me to do one. more. thing. I'mma revolt, yo!" We also still have a hand rail laying in our living/dining room that's become part of the house now. Maybe we'll have it installed by Christmas as my gift this year? (This would mean I actually have to strip it the rest of the way and stain/seal it too and we see what a priority that's been without untimely death drop kicking the door down!)
Tell me something good! What's on tap for your weekend? I need some normal to aspire to!
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I do so wish I had any motivation to do some of the stuff around the house that needs done but almost as soon as I look at it I lose any drive to do it. I think I'm just looking forward to not having to balance work with this level of suck we're already dealing with. Oh well, have a great weekend everyone!
ReplyDeleteI hear you on the Maui fires. We've been trying to get a hold of our friend who lives there part time and his kids are there year around and we haven't heard from him, so we are very worried.
ReplyDeleteWork has been very busy so my brain is fried and I still have weekend work to do. We have an appointment this afternoon so no grocery shopping until tomorrow morning. The a/c will get it's yearly maintenance tomorrow morning. Tomorrow night I go help a friend's mother.
I hope you guys are able to get out of the house for a while to recharge a bit. Your body is still smack dab in the middle of the fight-or-flight stress, so give yourself grace as you run the gamut of emotions -- all totally normal, even if it sucks to feel that intensity. Sending you big, squishy hugs!!! xoxoxo