Nipple Pain That Isn't Related to Breastfeeding

There.  I said it.  If you're here for a reason other than you have been following me for years, then that was probably the search that eventually led you here.  I am not going to lie, the past 6 months have been incredibly painful in these parts, on my parts.  This will be an ongoing post so that those who are/have gone through what I am, will be able to see that maybe they aren't alone.  It very much feels like you're alone sometimes.  Grab a drink whilst I tell you a story.  

Like many people, I gained pandemic weight in the form of 20 lbs by about 7 months into it.  Our already sloth-like existence was downgraded to houseplant which did nothing to help offset the justified ice cream in waffle bowls and banana bread.  I always felt like my weight went straight to my arms and gut with a side helping of thighs.  Well, I wasn't getting the memo that my boobs were getting suffocated in my now ill fitting bra.  Bra extenders!  That will solve the problem!  And they did as far as being able to wear one but I had not just gotten more inches around but out.  What I always assumed were C's (probably always D's) were now DD's being squished into C's.  So couple a few bras from Fashion Bug (you fellow larger gals now how long Fashion Bug Plus has been shuttered) I was wearing on the regular with too tight sports bras that, of course, have seams raking straight across the nips for months.  You follow that up with a rendezvous where 'roughing the passer' might've been called by the nip police in November and my girls threw up the white flag.  

I am on hormonal birth control and have never once had sore breasts.  Not during my period, not when I switched pills a few times, never.  So I noted the day I noticed pain on my One Happy Year (irony).  I chalked it up to the sex thing and just decided to give it a week or two.  I got some silicone nipple covers so that my bras wouldn't rub.  (I linked to a different set because I wouldn't recommend the ones I got)  Well, that almost felt like it made things worse with that particular brand.  I swear I felt like the adhesive they used was infiltrating my skin.  Long after I stopped using it, my nipples had this drag across them like there was stickiness there.  It was not fun.  I even used medical tape adhesive removal pads to try to get off what I felt was left over.  (Not gonna lie, those pads were a find!  Adhesive off of glass from labels and stuff like that!  Score!)

Then, I obviously consulted Dr. Google for signs of nipple pain, almost all of which related to breastfeeding.  I can't count how many different ways I entered "Nipple Pain That Isn't Related to Breastfeeding" hoping somehow the search results would change and I would find info that healed my suffering.  The most common reason was wearing the wrong bra.  Can I tell you how hard it is to find a f**king bra during a pandemic when fitting rooms are closed!?!  8 bras.  That's how many went back and forth in the postal service of me trying to find one that fit and as I type this in mid-March, I'm still awaiting 4 that I've ordered and crossing my fingers on and I'm having one made.  I consulted a friend and asked if she had boob pain like that (I was also having pectoral muscle soreness that I hadn't noticed before.)  She confirmed she did all the time so I didn't jump right to cancer or anything like that.

I tried to be patient especially since, to my eye, I'd swear I might have had a mild nipple fissue or crack.  This little part that stuck out was always the part that hurt most.  I made it through the holidays and most of January, trying and sending back or just throwing away cheap bras.  I started to have almost a PTSD like response if my nips would get hard because of cold because I knew it would hurt.  I used Lansinoh Lanolin Nipple Cream because it was the purest form and recommended to almost every breastfeeding mom crying about her split, cracked and war torn nipples in the land of never ending breastfeeding.  (I cannot even imagine.)  Most sites said if it was bra friction, the pain would go away on it's own and if it didn't...see a doctor.  Well, I still didn't have bras that fit well at that point, so I'd use it in the morning and then hoped it wouldn't rub off on my bra and at night and hope it wouldn't rub off on my sheets...both of which were happening.

When I realized it had been over three months and there was no improvement, my brain went on a nosedive to the depths.  I'd been doing self breast exams almost daily and never felt any lumps except the ones in my pec muscles after we'd do strength workouts.  Then I had to look up one of the things that would pop up on the nipple pain sites...Paget's Disease.  It's basically cancer of the nipple.  There can be underlying duct cancer involved which is detectable on a mammogram.  Some sites said it could be diagnosed with a mammogram, other sites said only through a punch or shave biopsy.  I started looking at Google images (as one does in this scenario) and while most pictures of Paget's Disease looked nothing like mine, there was of course one that did.  It honestly didn't look like anything other than a nipple.  Very light flake and small and a little red.  Nothing more than you'd get if your boob was constantly rubbing an ill fitting bra.  Well, that's what a person without anxiety would say.

I burst into tears, made a mammogram appointment which would be like 10 days away and then emailed my gynie about it and updated her and said I didn't know if she wanted to see me before the scan or after and expressed my likely unfounded but still swirling thoughts of Paget's Disease.  The nurse agreed I should be seen and scheduled an appointment for two days before the mammogram.  Then I was all "why does she agree I need to be seen?  What does she know?  I should be prepping for bad news." I spent that and the next day compiling lists of all of the things the Mr would need to run the household if I died.  Yep, went there.   Welcome to the anxiety ridden brain!  If you've never been there, consider yourself lucky and don't laugh because I assure you, it's not funny.  Ask the Mr, he will confirm.  But those things needed to be done anyway so I feel better knowing they're there for him.  Now he just needs to do the same for me because I don't know crap about computers or editing.

Anyhoo...

I freaked out for about two days then a wave of calm came over me basically telling myself I could not go the next 8 days like that so do what I could and try not to freak.  I went to the gynie and thankfully she did say I did not have any signs of inflammatory breast cancer which is outwardly apparent and I wasn't presenting typical hallmarks of Paget's.  She said that it could be a bacterial infection so she was going to send a script to a compounding pharmacy (which I'd never heard of) and they would concoct something in their cauldron for me to put on the girls and hopefully put me on the road to healing.  If I didn't get relief in 1-2 weeks, we could go the breast surgeon route for a biopsy to 'put our minds at ease,'  Yay.

I've rambled way too long on this but I think you needed the backstory to get an idea of how it could present should you have an issue too.

Swing back by tomorrow for the exciting part two that was actually written weeks after this initial post.

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