A good reminder for docs

If you read my Friday links, you saw I posted this link to a story about a TV critic's reaction to a scene from the upcoming Dr. Ken series.  I do remember seeing the preview for the series where an obese man is sitting on the table describing his symptoms of shortness of breath and such and the diagnosis was "you're fat."   That scene got a lot of backlash, he was accused of fat shaming and the now controversial scene has been removed from the pilot.  I'm not one of those people who likes to jump on the "shaming" bandwagon.  I think our society is on a constant witch hunt to find something they deem offensive, call it "(insert perceived offense here) shaming" and want someone's head on a stick for it.  What did I think when I saw that preview?  As a fat person I wasn't offended more so than I was a little disappointed.  I remembered thinking "oh, so that's how it's going to be eh...going for the easy fat joke.  Bummer."  For anyone who didn't know, Ken is an actual doctor in real life.  Even now after his amazing rise in popularity, he still renews his medical license...just in case.  I read another article where he was upset that the scene was taken out of context because he later discussed the dangers of type 2 diabetes and such and I do wish it could be seen in its entirety.  But it does present the opportunity to open a dialogue about why it would touch a nerve.

I think why people were so riled up over the commercial is because it hearkens back to miserable experiences that many overweight and obese people have had with their own doctors.   For those who have never had the "pleasure", let me enlighten you how rare visits to the family doctor went when the Mr and I were 200 lbs heavier.

You walk back and try to take off every article of clothing, shoes, etc allowed by law so it doesn't register as the nurse weighs you.  Anything to hopefully not be the same or higher weight than the last time they saw you.  (Again, this is during the period we hadn't lost weight yet.)

The doc walks in, gives your chart the once over and asks what the problem is.

You describe your problem whether it be a headache, a stubbed toe or a hang nail and the response?

You guessed it..."well, you're obese and things like that are going to happen to someone your size."

Or "if you just lost some weight..."

Now, yes, there are things that are weight related health issues like the fatty liver that the Mr was diagnosed with that was the catalyst to us losing weight.  That is an instance where yes, totally weight related...a wake up call.  I get it.  No offense taken.  Done.

But when a doctor blames things that we know are not weight related on weight and basically dismiss your symptoms because they're too busy judging you than doing their job, it makes people not want to see a doctor ever again.  You can actually feel them checking out, they refuse to look you in the eye or try to rush you out so they can see people who have "real" problems.  They don't know what it takes for a heavy person to finally get the courage to go to the doctor in the first place.  Whether you've been to that doctor before or not, there's just that fear that you're going to be judged, not taken seriously or dismissed before you even see them.  It's easy to talk yourself out of going and often times you just wait until pain or circumstances get unbearable before seeing them.

This is where people who have never dealt with weight issues start throwing their daggers of "it's your own fault,"  "just stop eating,"  "just start exercising,"  "calories in vs. calories out" and all of the other idiot things people who have never had a weight problem spew.  Some of the comments I've read about this issue make me weep for the lack of empathy in this country.  Someone could easily look at me and say "lose some weight, fatty!" and I could yell back "I've lost 225 pounds so far douchebag, piss off!"  The point is, you don't know where a heavy person is on their journey.  Yes, some people haven't even started the process, you have to be mentally ready.  You can look in the mirror and know you need to do it but this is a hard mental journey first and foremost.  But there are some, like myself, who have come a long way and yes, still have more to go.  People shouldn't just assume because they see a fat person or doctors shouldn't assume based on the number on a chart that they're not trying or haven't lost weight already.

Now, I happen to know that Ken is a sweet, humble man who would never intentionally hurt anyone, I'm sure he is/was a wonderful doctor and I know that there are writers on the show who have never walked a mile in wide width shoes.  But I'm kind of glad to have the opportunity through this recent hub bub to remind the medical community as a whole that overweight and obese people are still people.  You can have your own personal opinion about people in that situation but don't make assumptions until you've gathered all of their personal history.  Even if someone comes into your office at almost 500 lbs,  making them feel less than their thinner counterpart in the lobby isn't acceptable.  You have no idea what it took for that person to gather the strength to make that appointment in the first place.  They are coming to you for help not judgment and if nutrition and exercise isn't your field...please don't do what ours did and hand us a pamphlet about weight loss.  It was literally a photocopy of something that was nine years old and had outdated information on it.  That's the same as saying "I don't really give a shit but this makes it appear I talked to you about your weight and what to do."  Refer them to a nutritionist or someone who can do an extensive session with them about what they eat, their weak points, where they can make adjustments, etc.  I know doctors are stretched thin and dictated how they spend their time by insurance companies nowadays so for the sake of your patients, referring them to people who can best help them with their weight loss efforts is most beneficial for all involved.

As for the show?  I plan to watch it!  I'm in desperate need for some new blood on the DVR rotation and a comedy is sorely missing from the schedule.  I've watched Ken from back in the The Kims of Comedy (affiliate link)  days, way before Leslie Chow was a thought.  I'm not going to get my undies in a twist over one joke and I actually feel bad that they felt any kind of pressure to take that scene out.  I'm in the camp that people are so over PC that they are killing comedy.  Sigh.

Dr. Ken premieres Oct. 2 at 8:30 p.m. EST on ABC.

Have you had a doctor treat you poorly due to size or blame your problem on weight when it clearly wasn't weight related?

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