Friday, October 28, 2011

It takes working not wanting

A person on a weight loss site was noting the negativity there and how people are so down on themselves saying how they can't do it or calling themselves failures before barely trying or assuming they're doomed to fail because how is this time any different than any previous attempts?  I remember having these thoughts many times on my various "attempts" over my years of trying to get this thing right.  I remember the name calling, the negativity before ever really committing to the change or just assuming I couldn't do something because it looked hard or God forbid, I sweat!

When people ask The Mr. or myself how we're doing this, they listen intently, eyes aglow, smile on their faces waiting for us to give them the secret behind our success.  They can't wait to hear what book they need to buy, what pill they need to shop for or how many ounces of wolfbane and eye of newt they need to place an order for at the local witchery.  When we say eating healthy and exercise, you see the smile leave their faces, posture drop and eyes glaze over.  If they bother to engage you at all after that, it's typically to say "oh, I thought you were going to tell me something I don't know."  Sorry to disappoint you but the magic pill isn't here and you shouldn't sit on your ass getting fatter waiting for it.  I was always too scared to get pills and surgery wasn't going to be my path regardless of how fat I got.  In the days of attempting change over the years, we would lose a little weight and then hit that dreaded plateau and then say "I don't know why this is happening...we're doing everything we can and nothing is helping."  The truth was, we were "eyeballing" or putting forth enough effort to get by but certainly  not doing everything we could.  Lying to ourselves seemed more conducive to our psyches than to say "time to kick it up."  We were eating better than when we weren't on a plan but still not watching sodium or looking to get in the most fruits and veggies possible, we would exercise but not 5 days a week and we didn't do it with the kind of effort we put into it now.  We were drinking more water but not enough water.  All of these things we improved upon slightly but never really fully committed to were somehow "doing everything we could" to us.  Pardon my French but bullsh*t!

I shudder to think of how ignorant we were back then and how badly we screwed ourselves out of our younger married years.  But in the end, we knew better and when it comes down to it, many people looking to lose weight know what needs to be done but prefer not to make it a lifestyle because they picture that lifestyle being one depriving themselves of any pleasurable foods and being full of torturous exercise.  Tell that to the cupcake I ate last night.  Or the deep dish pizza I had last weekend.  Or the burger from my favorite dive bar.  I don't call that deprivation.  Let's talk about that torturous exercise.  We do Tae Bo, Turbo Fire, Supreme 90 Day, ChaLean Extreme, Power and Body Strikes, Dance Dance Revolution, circuits and free weights.  Do I get all giddy with excitement when I get ready to go down and do these things?  No.  But I don't dread them either.  They're fun once you press play and when you're done and you're sweaty, shaking and know you've pushed your body to the limit, you say "I did that!  I did something that is going to make my life better and that's better than sitting my butt on the couch!"

There is a difference between wanting to lose weight and doing the work required to make it happen.  Wishing for it and bellyaching that it's for other people and you're destined to be fat or too old to change your ways, blah blah blah will keep you out of shape and miserable.  It keeps you on the sidelines and out of the game.  That is no way to live life.  Take it from a girl who resigned herself to wondering if she'd have to be cut out of her house or wait until the neighbors started complaining of the scent of death wafting through the air.

There are people in wheelchairs and people who were immobile and bedridden that have lost weight.  If they can do it, is there really any excuse you could possibly use to justify not being able to do it?  Yes, the road is long and hard (that's what she said.  Sorry, couldn't resist) but the best things in life are not handed to us. It's hard to lose weight but honestly, it's harder to be morbidly obese.  I'll take the effort I have to put in daily for the rest of my life over the isolation, social exile and watching days turn into weeks and years of seeing the same 4 walls everyday.  I'll take the feeling of pride in doing something like a jumping jack without pulling a fat roll for the first time (happened the other night) or running on the treadmill for the first time (happened 2 days ago) than throwing a hissy fit because I *want* a bunch of crap to fill my pie hole with because I had a bad day at work.  Oh the horror!  A bad day.  I can see how ruining one's health sounds like the solution to that problem.  I mean, really?  Why does anyone ever fall for that?  Yet so many do, all the time, every day and maybe one of them is sitting there with tears running down their face right now wondering if they have that same spirit inside them.  It is there.  We all have free will and the ability to prioritize those things that are the most important to us.  Bad health overflows into all other areas of our lives whether we realize it or not and we owe it to ourselves to be the best, healthiest version of ourselves we can be and settling for less is a day wasted.

Are you working or wanting or somewhere in between?

FYI- No weigh in post tomorrow.  Stay tuned Monday.  Have a great Halloween weekend all!

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  1. This couldn't be more true. Looking back on how bad I let myself get, I just can't believe the answers were all there in front of me. It is actually easier to spend an hour-ish per day working out than it is to spend every waking hour in discomfort from obesity and yet more and more Americans are letting this happen. Why? Well most would probably use the same excuses you mentioned. "I don't like sweat" - if only they could feel the awesome feeling I feel after a good solid workout. It releases all the stress and toxins and gives you that feeling of accomplishment that can't be beat. Why I didn't want that in the past is beyond me.

    Do I look forward to every workout? No, but I don't have a choice in the matter so I just do it and I always, ALWAYS feel great when it's done without fail. Seems like a small price to pay given the great rewards it has given in return.

    Great blog. You make me proud!

  2. This is so true, great post.

    For so long I always said I was "doing everything I could". But it wasn't until I got a reality check from a doctor that I wasn't...and that's when I realized I needed to take a good look at the emotional side of my overeating.

  3. I'm somewhere in between working and wanting I think. I did really well last spring and early summer. The second part of summer until now hasn't been so great. I have different excuses though - I don't mind the sweat, I don't consider fruits, veggies and other healthy food to be deprivation, and I look forward to Zumba days with an enthusiasm that makes me worry about my sanity.

    For me, lately, the problem has been allowing everything else to come first. My plans for healthy eating & exercise go straight out the window when time gets short. I'm not sure how to fix it though. Somehow even though I know that my health is important, everything I try to do for me takes a back burner to everything I do for others.

    You've made me think today Mrs., and I don't think I like the thoughts I'm having. Thank you.

  4. I think you're spot on. I know where I've failed in the past and I'm working to get past that. I'm learning more about food, making mistakes, trying again. I work out often and hard, but I enjoy it. I'm making changes, but it doesn't happen over night.

    Sometimes I think "just keep swimming", like Dory in Finding Nemo you know? One step (stroke) at a time, and I'll get there.

  5. Agree with...everything, I think! We tend to want to *be* thinner, as opposed to working to *get* thinner. Huge difference.

  6. I completely agree. I belong to a weight loss support group and they're "amazed" at how much weight I've lost. REALLY?!? These are a bunch of woman who lose 2lbs one week and gain 3 the next, with an "oh, well, I'll try to get it back off next week" attitude. Yet at the same time they get "so frustrated" that the scale isn't being nice. They think I've done something I won't tell them about. They always want my meal plans for the week. They want to know exactly what exercises I do. Honestly... figure it out! It's not rocket science! So they just keep complaining about it and I get NO support from them, great group huh? Anyhow, congrats on NOT pulling a fat roll, I've been there, lol! You're an awesome and motivational person, and I'm so lucky to be on this journey with you : )

  7. it is a great day when one 'gets it', and the 'it' that works for THEM. This is a good post, thanks for sharing.

  8. You are so right. One never regrets a workout. :)

  9. Well said. To get different results (LOSING weight instead of GAINING it), you have to take different actions--diets flat out don't work, making a change in your lifestyle to eat healthier and exercise regularly does. Easy as that, and hard as that too. People want to know how I've lost weight, and I've seen the shoulders droop and eyes glaze over, too, when they find out my 'secret' is no secret at all.

  10. Well said! I couldn't agree with you more! It takes work but the work is well worth it in the end. There's no magic pill that's going to help you lose weight. I thought I was doing everything I could before getting on SP but I was just kidding myself. Thanks for keeping it real!

  11. The end of this reminds me of something one of my teachers keeps saying. She talks often of making choices by default and what is easiest, instead of making choices knowledgeably. I think so often we get lazy and do what is easiest not what is best or right for us. It's hard but it is soooooo worth the time and effort.

  12. Well said Mrs! I love this "The truth was, we were "eyeballing" or putting forth enough effort to get by but certainly not doing everything we could." This rings true so true. Thanks for posting!

  13. I think I'm back to the point of reaching for what I want and doing it whether I like it or not. I've dropped 7 lbs since starting the Suppreme 90 and I feel different/better already. Its my own fault for letting the weight creep back and and it will be ALL ME in getting it off. I had gotten almost "normal" sized and then I let myself go AGAIN. I refuse to have to hold my breath to tie my shoes again - that is so not happening. Everytime I think of putting something bad in my mouth I think of how crappy I will feel after about myself for cheating and then how rotten it would be not to tie my own shoes and its working pretty well thus far.


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