Tuesday, May 17, 2016
One of my most prized possessions
As I was going through the office one day, I had some more cards that I needed to file away. Yes, I hold onto cards...not all of them necessarily but ones from people that are very special to me. It has been of comfort to look back at handwriting of people who have passed. It's like getting a hug from them all over again. While getting ready to file away these cards, I began getting emotional over the fact that since Grandma's dementia has taken over that I don't have any cards with her handwriting for about 3 years now.
One of my favorites is this card she got me for my 25th birthday....
The front says "Whatever on Earth can a grandma be for? She's older than dirt with one foot out the door. And what can she know about living today, when nothing is done in her old-fashioned way? Oh sure, she's real sweet and you love her a lot, but in terms of real life what's an ol' grandma got?"
Inside: "Well listen my sweetie, you might be surprised to find that your grandma's a youngster disguised. She still has her dreams and her values intact, she's just a bit wiser- yes dear, that's a fact. Experience has put a few lines on her face and that's how she knows what it's like in your place. I know this idea may seem baffling and new but honey your grandma's "been there, done that" too! So when your young life isn't going as planned, talk to your grandma-she'll sure understand. She's got lots of love and good counsel to give and she'll be on your side as long as you live."
I'm in tears as I type it all because it so perfectly summed up our relationship. We all like to think, especially in our 20's, that people older than we are can't relate. I was never one of those people though, I've always had friends older than me and respected the lessons of my elders. I'm an "old soul" according to the Mr. That card is one of the 5 things I'd grab if forced to evacuate. I remember my mom and aunt reading that card on my mantel and they both looked at each other in amazement that my grandma would get me such a card. It's not the relationship they had with her so its message seemed almost shocking to them that we did have that.
I could always rely on her for support and comfort and even if we didn't agree, she never made me feel like my opinion was wrong...just different. It's been hell to not be able to talk to her like I used to. I'd give anything to get some of that counsel mentioned in the card and even though I know she's on my side, it's different when they can't emote those things. The loss is so deep...especially when she's right in front of you.
Whenever I need her, I pull out this card. I know she didn't write those words but she, like me, was careful when choosing cards. She never bought one that expressed something she didn't feel and neither do I. So I know when I read it, I can picture her reading it among the other cards, smiling and grabbing the envelope.
I miss you Grandma. Happy Birthday.
What is one of your most prized possessions?
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