Monday, January 16, 2023

Time to Change Weekend Recap

If anyone happened to sing that Peter Brady style when you read it, you get bonus points.


Good Monday morning everyone!  I hope you had a nice weekend whatever you ended up doing.  

Last week I had to break down and buy a new gadget:

My grip strength was always kind of bad but we essentially stopped doing strength training about 6 weeks ago and were just focusing on walks for activity during the final push of the remodel because that's all I could handle.  The past 2-3 weeks, I've noticed an alarming amount of weakness when doing things like opening jar lids.  (To be fair the Mr, who has excellent grip strength, has also felt like the jars are overtightened.)  My hands/joints would ache and while I would've loved to jump straight back into strength training upon our return, I didn't trust I could even hold a moderate dumbbell.  So I got that grip strengthener for under $10 to help me build things back up as we move into light strength training with bands this week.  I'll be honest, I wish I got one that started lower than 50 lbs because I can barely move it but I'm not sending it back so I'll work with it.  Of course the Mr can squeeze it completely together no problem.  Show off.  But when I do it, I can feel it in all of my weak points like my elbows, shoulders, etc so I keep it on the couch next to me and do it about 20x or more each side before I'm even allowed to open my laptop and then whenever I think of it throughout the day.  I've already felt some relief in my finger joints and stuff so I think this was a good move for me.

It's been a rough transition back into everything.  We weighed in Saturday and got to see the damage we did all through December.  I don't mean just on vacation, which is typical but we developed a pretty 'eff it' attitude and didn't gorge every day or anything but we'll be paying for it for a while.  (Actually, a quick peek shows I've been avoiding the scale since the weigh in before Thanksgiving where I hit a weight low I hadn't seen in a while so I thought I'd live there in my head.  I could tell even the following week I had put on a little noodle weight and I wasn't ready to see the scale creep up even a pound.  I have a very bad habit of letting the scale dictate my happiness.)  I intended to come back from the trip all fired up and ready to jump back into things but it's been much harder physically and mentally than anticipated.  The first order of business was just movement because we didn't get a lot of that on vacation that would've counted as a workout.  We got back into our walks pretty quickly at the park but those first three or four were a real eye opener with all of the extra weight we're carrying.  So essentially almost two weeks of walks to get the body back into that habit and build up stamina just a bit.  Based on the above mentioned grip issues I was having, that had to wait until this week where the plan is two resistance band based strength sessions in addition to walks and maybe one 'formal workout' thrown in there.  Next week we'll trying adding the dumbbells back in and seeing what the bodies are up for.  I have been failing miserably on lunch throwing together what is easy over nutritious sometimes like just having Honey Nut Cheerios for lunch because I didn't have the desire to do more than that. I've never been quite this bad about getting back into a routine after a vacation but I think because we just had so much to deal with and both of us feel like we didn't really get the rest we needed, it was hard.  Stuff was waiting on us when we got back that didn't make it any easier and we both agree we very much need to change some stuff this year mentally because we're not happy but we are also limited in just how much we can do.

I feel like I let you guys down all the time.  I don't have an interesting life on the daily right now and unfortunately, we are one of the ones who have to still take Covid precautions so we're not 'pre-pandemic' in this house.  (If you're new here, I don't need opinions on that and have tried to do a good job keeping Covid out of it but that part needs to be mentioned here for context only.)   While we were very busy last year with the second floor stuff we really only got out twice to do anything that wasn't reno related and our relationship and the work we've been doing has kind of gone in the shitter so we have a lot of rebuilding to do this year.  More balance between what needs to be done and getting in some fun where we can even if that's stuff we do at home like board games, puzzles, crafts, etc.  The remodel was our 'hobby' last year but hobby with a huge learning curve.  It's also quite frustrating when the room is 'done' but we're still dealing with a stain smell that irritates my throat.  It doesn't smell like fresh stain but the second that door closes, in two hours I feel my body is being inundated with toxic crap.  I've been burning incense twice a day in there the past 4-5 days or so and plan to keep blasting that damn wood to soak it up and then put beeswax furniture polish on it to lock it in.  I have gone through 12 friggin' boxes of baking soda the past 40 days to absorb the smell, charcoal bags, everything I could find online.  The last resort is either stripping it or removing the wood.  Yeah...I recoiled in horror at the thought too.  I'm sure the Mr was about to tap out on life at that nugget of info.  So wish me luck on the incense front because I don't know what else to do and the internet is ZERO help.

I hope to have something worth making you stick around this year.  I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am for you guys.  I can say it 1000x but it wouldn't come close to conveying it.  I also want to thank those who buy through my Amazon text links.  I want to be very upfront, I don't make an income from this blog.  Those links are strictly to cover operating costs which if I'm being truly honest, it still doesn't cover.  So any time you guys are kind enough to buy through my links, I well up a little because it truly means so much.  I don't get offers for sponsorships or bigger ad networks that cater to big blogs and truly, I don't even want to be a "big blog."  I don't need that much attention.  I just like my core group of peeps and I'm good!  I also wish I could find a free version of an email for you guys like Feedburner used to do.  I am beyond frustrated with that so if anyone should happen to have suggestions I can research, I'm all ears.

I do want to give a shout out to the Mr who if you read this post, you knew there was a difficult discussion in his future with his mother.  He did end up having that discussion last week.  While you don't usually get any kind of resolution or ownership taken when dealing with gaslighting narcissists, he was able to say what he needed to say, spoke his truth and had a weight lifted.  He was rewarded with two very strong signs of support from his dad so it's safe to say he did the right thing.  I am beyond proud of him.

I know this was an all over the place post but that's kind of me right now so welcome to it!  😆

How was your weekend?  Anything you're looking to change this year?

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  1. Happy Monday!
    First I want to tell you I look forward to your posts, they are real and human and relatable. I'm never let down reading them. I see your big heart, your awesome eye for design and your incredible ability to be vulnerable and put yourself out here. A friend I feel I know but can't visit because you live in Zimbabwe or somewhere so remote airplanes can't reach it in my mind lol.
    Yay on the mister for asserting himself with the mama. Its definitely gotta be a tightrope act between keeping wife happy and not feeling like a shifty offspring.
    I have the same struggles with an elderly aunt. I however did not take the high road and called her out loudly and told an 86 year old woman to f right off!
    I think I actually got through to her as it drew tears and a full out crying jag from her.
    I forgive her but in my case it was not personal, she craps on everyone. Not sure if your mil craps on everyone or just you.
    Have a great week

    1. Why are my eyes leaking? Dang it! Well, I thank you for that. I wasn't fishing or anything, I just feel so blah compared to other bloggers but I also feel like a lot of them lie about what is and isn't going on with them. Just like IRL, you guys will know where I stand.

      The conversation he had with his mom was about their relationship and I told him not to even bring up what happened with us because she would use that as deflection from the real childhood issues. (She tried but he kept redirecting her back. Woot.) She does crap on everyone so we're not special in that regard but that conversation happened because she asked why they weren't close and he told her. We expect no change and that's not what the goal was because at almost 80, that's not going to happen. But he said what he needed to say even if he was told some of it didn't happen. Ahh, gaslighters.

      Good for you for giving it back to your aunt. I don't know what makes people of that generation think it's okay to crap all over everyone but they're finding out people aren't going to stand for it!

  2. It makes sense that you've struggled to jump back into things since you didn't get much rest on vacation. Back in our 30s it seemed like it required little effort to just hop back into the routine, but now I find in my 50s that that's not the case. I know last year I had a big basement and storage unit project I needed to do and I worked so hard to get those things accomplished. But when I was done? I was totally done. LOL I literally took a week off and did nothing physically or mentally. I made no lists, I started no new projects. I did nothing but relax my mind and my body. I managed to feed my husband and the dog, and hopefully remembered to brush my teeth twice a day, but that was it. I just needed that time of slowing down and not plotting and planning and doing. A re-charge if you will. And it helped tremendously. You've had A LOT on your plate from the ginormous project you guys got through (which ended up being a million other little projects that needed to be done due to the big project, so more time consuming than initially thought), plus the emotional stuff that was going on too. And even with the flip of the calendar, physiologically those things don't just stop in the body. There's still that tension of "gotta get this done, gotta do that", as well as processing through the mental stuff. So I would just say be gentle with yourself about your lack of "oomph" as it were to jump back on the wagon. Recharge how you need to and give yourself some grace to do it at the pace your body and mind are telling you you need.
    As for this year, there's lots to be done with getting rid of more stuff, but the budget will be a priority to work on. I need to be much stricter with my spending (especially when I'm trying to get rid of things...I don't need to bring more stuff IN!!). I'm also prioritizing my faith life and getting back to church and having Sundays set aside for that rather than making busy around the house.

    1. There's a lot of things I can't jump back into like I used to. (Or jump out of. Holy crap, they don't tell you that the alarm will go off and you can't leap out of bed like you did in your teens and 20's!) Girl, you did a LOT last year and I'm glad you gave yourself the break. If you don't recharge, you can't really move forward with a clear head. Those sound like good priorities for the year. The house stuff will be there Mondays. ;-)

  3. Thank you for your blog! I find a lot of good insights and ideas from the things you post. I would never look askance at anyone for continuing to be very careful about covid. My main reason for being super careful was the fact that I was a primary caregiver for my dad and he was very vulnerable to it. He just passed away (at age 87, peacefully with hospice care at home). But I still want to be careful because I am in my 50s and I have still not gotten covid ever and I do not want to every get it or pass it on to someone else!

    1. Oh Sharon, I'm so sorry about your dad. I'm sure he so appreciated you keeping both of you safe and I'm sure he's watching over you to help keep you safe. A big hug to you in your grief and hoping for good memories to help comfort you.

  4. I am so glad to have that conversation behind me as it was just a weight off my shoulders to finally have it and be done with it. I do look forward to your blogs but of course I am biased cause I love ya and all that but it would be great for us to find ways to share more experiences this year as we find ways to do more and still do them safely.

    1. Me too so you know there's nothing left unsaid between you two and what she does with that information is up to her. If nothing else, the blogs serve as a journal of sorts so we can look back and go "holy crap, I forgot about that!" I hope to have more holy crap moments in a good way this year to share!


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