BOOM...SMASH!!!
We ran over and there on the dryer sat the last shred of Christmas past I had left...shattered in pieces. A cake carrier he'd just put back, slid off and fell onto the dryer, shattering it into a zillion pieces. I burst into tears and sobbed. I mean sobbed. I didn't blame him completely because I should've just put it back when I got what I needed. If it meant that much to me, I shouldn't have procrastinated. Now I had to pay the price for my carelessness. It wasn't just the platter, it was truly one of those "five things you would grab in a fire" items for me. When I was little it was like this fancy looking platter and when I got married and was going through the basement, I asked my mom if she was going to use it and she told me to take it if I wanted it. Last Christmas when I had cookies on it for Christmas Eve, she laughed and said she couldn't believe I still had it. We didn't have many actual items that were left after the flood that ruined all of my childhood Christmas stuff but this platter was one of the survivors...like me and my mom. It was the last thing I still had left from Christmas pasts and with everything I feel I've lost over the past few years including my grandma who was the glue of Christmas for me and how horrible gatherings have been since that happened, it just felt like the final nail in Christmas coffin for me hence the sobbing. I know this has to sound incredibly stupid to people especially if you're not a sentimental kind of person but I am and now it just feels like I have nothing left from that time. (Probably because I don't.) Sigh. Just felt like a metaphor for my life lately.
The Mr asked if I wanted to be alone and I didn't because what could be done at that point. He felt bad, I felt bad, we needed to work out so we just got on with it. It was a nice, horrible upper body burn out that left my right hand and shoulder totally fubar'd afterward. (I have to say we're both getting a little ticked that we've only lost 3 lbs in a month with this Fitness Blender program. We've both felt so beat by week's end, look forward to the stretching day on Friday and rest day on Saturday because they whip our butts so bad. We're trying to be patient but crap man!)
I made a rare dinner...a healthier knock off of a dish we like at Bubba Gumps.
It was supposed to be "I'm Stuffed" Shrimp over TJ's Rice Medley. It was okay but the oil I used was bad and the shrimp ended up rubbery. I will not follow the tip to use precooked shrimp next time especially since I had raw shrimp when I started. The Mr liked it, that's all that mattered. Oh and in case you're giving the dinner a bit of side eye after my Fitness Blender rant, I know it looks decadent but when I say knock off, it was nowhere NEAR the calorie count of Bubba Gumps. It was made with a piece of light bread for the crumbs, no salt, 1 tsp of olive oil and a split serving of light cheese. It was well within our calorie range...the calorie range that time and time again we are told is too low for the exercise we do but the thought of going into the mid 2000's is terrifying to both of us. We've been under 2000 for years and it plain does not work for us yet it's so drilled into our heads to be in the mid to lower 1000's that anything higher seems like it would make us gain. Since we're trying out FB's exercise program, we should probably take their eating advice as well.
I did get a majority of the house cleaned on the lower level. I also went through the lazy susan and got out some stuff taking up room to donate. I cleaned everything. put it back all nice and neat and I hope it stays that way. Today I have to do as much prep as I can ahead of time and make a run over to the grocery for fresh greens and strawberries for my lunch date tomorrow with a friend. Then Thursday I will start on the office. Ugh.
Have you ever lost/broke a sentimental piece?
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That's just heartbreakingš£.
ReplyDeleteI had an old sweatshirt of Rich's that was raggedy, faded and frayed. It was such a comfort to me, still even had his cologne scent (never washed it). I snuggled in it on bad days. I must not have been giving Bagel enough attention and one day he shredded it. It broke my heart to toss it.
I am wondering if you being such a fantastic cook is hampering your weight loss? My uncle sent me a pic of me dancing at a family wedding and that was IT for me. I cleared off the fridge and put the picture front and center. I have read so many times that diet is 80% of the weight loss battle and I can't exercise until March due to my leg surgery. Instead of calorie counting I came up with a plan easy for me. Basically, if it doesn't cluck, moo, oink or grow, I don't eat it! Down 15 lbs this year and feel fantastic!
Hoping today is better for you, xo
I agree with you, she is a fantastic cook. But that is the whole point. She plans the meals extremely well and leaves out the things that are not good for us. For example, that shrimp may look ultra decadant but it doesn't have all the butter and salt and the really bad things that would thwart our efforts.
DeleteEverything we eat is within the calorie ranges set for us and very carefully planned. She puts so much work into that and it definitely has worked for us so so much up to this point. I think the workout plan we're on is going to lean us out but not until it builds up that lean muscle first so we just have to keep being patient until things even out.
I feel horrible and I take full responsibility for the loss of that platter. I'd do anything to turn back time and fix that one thing if I could. I absolutely broke your heart and I wish I could fix it for you. So sorry!
ReplyDeleteI would react exactly the same way! And have! I had a hand painted vase that I loved, and one of my daughters friends knocked it over and it shattered. I was so upset I made the kid go home. It was an accident but he's the child that bounces off the walls and I had already asked him to stop running in the house. I may have scared him because he stayed away for quite a while. He did come back eventually though.
ReplyDeleteI struggle with calories and weight loss as well, and I have been told by a dietician that I don't eat enough sometimes so my body goes into famine mode and hoards what I do eat. When I've tried to be consistent with what I eat after a few weeks I notice losses again.
I've broken many sentimental pieces over the years. Probably because I have way too many of these kinds of things. But when you've lost all your parents, grandparents, and there's only one sibling (a brother, who could care less about this stuff), you end up with almost everything. Plus over the years my own sons have given me some very special items, as has hubs, and they are all terribly precious to me. I have glued many of my precious knick knacks (is that one word or two?) together when they have broken. It's not perfect, but I keep them out on display anyhow, but I always know that they're broken and it hurts deeply to this day. Sorry for your loss. You are NOT alone in feeling this way.
ReplyDeleteIs it possible to make a mosaic tray out of the pieces? This way you still have a piece of your past, but yet you've now re-purposed it for your future?
ReplyDeleteJust a thought with a huge hug.
I'm sorry about your platter. It hurts your heart, I know.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a little girl, I was always fascinated with one of my grandma's possessions, what I referred to as a Genie bottle. It was a blue bottle (decanter maybe) about 12 inches tall, narrow neck, wide and rounded bottom, with a stopper. Imagine my joy when she gave it to me. That joy wasn't nearly to the level of my grief when I broke the bottle. I had been dusting and didn't securely replace something that had been sitting behind it and it fell over and knocked my precious Genie bottle to the floor, breaking into at least a dozen pieces. I still have the stopper to this day, but that is small consolation for the loss of what I called my "prized possession."
AAAACCCCKKKK!!! You SOOOOOO did not need this!! I am so sorry about your cake carrier and all the memories attached to it. I have had a few pieces broken over time, but what stands out in my mind right now is the rosary my mother gave me on my wedding day to use as something "borrowed". It was my grandmother's and was from France, and it got "lost" that day. I'm 99% positive that my mother-in-law stole it and threw it away or kept it because she ruined that entire day. I had a complete breakdown when it happened and she stood there with this sly smile on her face. I've never gotten over that and I know my mom was crushed about it. It was one of the few family heirlooms we had.
ReplyDelete