Monday, May 2, 2011

Learn to take a compliment

I'm saying this as much as a reminder to myself as I am to you.  I think for many of us with weight problems, negative self talk is a common thing.  When you don't feel like you look pretty or you might feel because you're overweight or obese that you couldn't possibly look good, well, ever.  When someone compliments you, it can almost feel like they're being sarcastic even when they're not.  Our brains seem to process something different than what is actually said.  Instead of saying thank you, it's much easier to point out your flaws ("That top looks so cute on you!"  "Thanks I just wish my arm fat didn't hang out of it though.") or make a joke ("You look really good today!"  *looks around*  "I know you can't be talking to me, I'm pretty sure I look as bad as I feel!"). 

Not only is this chipping away at our own self esteem by feeling like we don't deserve compliment because we may not be the perfect weight for our height or whatever but think of how it makes the person giving it feel!  You keep rejecting compliments or coming back with some smart aleck reason as to why you don't deserve one and people won't make the "mistake" again!  So even if you're uncomfortable getting one and everything in you is tempted to give your usual comeback...smile, say thank you and know that the person meant it so you should believe it!

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8 comments:

  1. That has always been the hardest thing for me to do. Now that that I'm feeling better about myself, it's getting a little easier. Great post.

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  2. I know I'm guilty of this! Especially now, when I don't feel it at all, and I have certainly given the snarky response. Good reminder, Mrs., of something we all learned a long time ago but forgot how to do! :)

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  3. Wow that is timely. I had this very thing come up yesterday. It's hard when you are so used to being put down by yourself to suck it up and accept it from others. We should but it's hard. I'm going to work on this myself and I'm glad you reminded me to think about it from the compliment givers point of view. That makes it much different. You rock!

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  4. How very true! I had some folks in the neighborhood come visit today. When they found out I had a 16 year old they asked if I had her at 15. I laughed out loud said no at 24. They said "WHAT" how old are you. I told them and they complimented me. I automatically start fishing for the reason behind the compliment. Things like, hmmm do they want something out of my yard, or how about - they want to rob my house and are sizing me up and even better - they are spies and they work for the FBI. LOL_- SERIOUSLY just take the dang compliment!

    Hugs sister, I missed you!

    DOE

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  5. While we recoil from compliments, it's so easy for us to latch onto anything remotely negative and own it. Why IS that? What is it within us that is so ready to believe the worst of ourselves, even if we are gracious by nature and authentically kind to others? Good post, my friend. Very wise.

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  6. I've been wondering the same thing recently. I read a thing a while ago about how it's just really hurtful to the compliment giver when we do this. I wish I could remember where I read it, a magazine somewhere I think. That makes me sad. I don't want to hurt the feelings of some person trying to be nice to me, but I have a hard time not deflecting compliments with sarcasm or playing down whatever I'm being complimented on.

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  7. I am SO guilty of this! My hubby will get so mad and me and say, "You're welcome". I'm trying to be better, but constantly need a reminder...so thanks! SO TRUE!!

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