I hope you guys had a nice holiday last week and maybe got to sneak in an extra day off. Our Saturday was a pooper which I won't go into but am glad we were able to road trip there and back without incident. The Mr needs to contact the tinters because there is an issue at the top of the windshield for sure and they don't want you contacting them for three weeks before letting issues hopefully work themselves out. AKA we hope you forget and then when you do remember, we'll blame it on you.
I will say that I really tried to do the right thing Saturday night and failed again. At last week's therapy session one of the questions she asked me was about food cues and I told her Saturday. We struggle so much with justification and cramming in what we can because we can't have it for another week. We took a nap and I was barely awake before the Mr asked what I wanted for dinner at 7pm. I truly wasn't hungry and told him nothing, go get what he wanted. While he was gone that FOMO panic set in and I started scrolling all of the restaurants near us and not one sounded good. I told myself I made the right decision and this is how normal people live. I was actually proud of myself for sticking with it. Unfortunately, he brought home a gyro which he knows triggers my gag reflex (seriously about to ban them from the house, I had to have my shirt over my face the entire time and it stunk up the house for hours.) Well, it must've stirred up enough internally that it kicked my fullness to the curb out of everything wanting to leave my body from the stench. I wasn't hungry but I wanted a little something so I had him grab a licorice I bought on sale that I shouldn't have but I knew it would fit into my calories just fine and expected to feel full again after eating it. Well, I didn't and again that whole triggering of FOMO kicked up. I grabbed a serving of stale almond crackers that needed to be eaten or tossed and that extra 220 made me mentally feel like shit. What I should've done was made a vat of hot tea like I do any other night and stopped obsessing. Part of that feeling, I'm sure, was tied to a 1 1/2 lbs coming back last week after a freak 5 lb loss the week before. I could understand if it was because I ate like crap or something but I didn't and I made sure I was biking while eating like I did the week before which was where I thought the weight loss came from. On the flip side, I felt friggin broken all week from it too. My legs were tight and my SI joint was out of whack from a week of being chained to the laptop again. Burning 250-450 extra calories on top of our usual 400-500 calorie workouts to account for NEAT calories (activity from grocery shopping, walking further from your car, fidgeting etc but mine is just more structured.) should've been totally fine. I need more movement in my day and then feel like I'm punished when I do it. 🙄 I'm so tired of all of this crap and I have no desire to give myself stomach paralysis, blindness or the host of other horrid side effects from the current "it" medication for weight loss.
Anyway.
On to happier subjects.
Well, I've unleashed the Etsy shop and should you want to go check it out, just click below.
I've got a loooong way to go to get it filled with items but it's a slow season to start, I've made two sales so far which I'll take given how barren it is right now. I must say it's been a good tool for grief and keeping me busy from spiraling out of control for now. I have some items having to do with grief as well as just fun designs and my favorite, Fall items since I saw they were already showing up in the marketplace. I'm not going to lie, I'm a little terrified. I have a LOT of self doubt as always but hopefully one day it can do well for us. I'm always so scared of failing and it's a lot of work but those two sales sure made my day when they happened. I don't really want it tied to here but I'll have the link on the side and bottom in banners in posts sometimes in case anyone wants to poke around as I fill things up over the coming months.
What did you guys do this weekend?
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It's definitely a struggle. The only good thing is we are good at keeping it to one day. I do remember when we struggled with weekends so there is some progress we can acknowledge.
ReplyDeleteFood struggles are so hard and there can be specific triggers that you can anticipate, and then there are others that come out of nowhere and through you for a loop. None of them are easy to get through.
ReplyDeleteI'm excited your store is up and running and I think it'll do great! You'll slowly get your stock to where you want it to be and will have more and more awesome things to offer. It's a fantastic site and I'm excited to get my sweatshirt!!