Flexibility

June is turning out to be a way different month than I had planned.  I sprained my thumb while on vacation, we’ll say either getting in the hot air balloon or wild escapades because they sound way better than what actually happened, which was luggage related.  I’d been x-rayed and nothing was broken or fractured which was a plus but boy did it hurt like a mother.  So I wore a brace, got to the point where I actually forgot about it and did routine things like weight training (which I was cleared to do), planks and you know, pushing off of a chair arm and continued to re-injure myself. 

June was going to be hell month and unless I want to really set myself back, Hell is gonna have to wait.  So June will be full of a LOT of cardio and once a week Forza Sword workouts with wrapping paper cores so there is no additional weight but still working the muscles from repetition.  It is going to be hard but I have to do it to take care of myself and not make a bad situation worse.  I’ll admit I teared up a little I’ve got to believe it’s for the best right now. 

I made up my workout schedule which I’ll post tomorrow.  It looks decent and where there might’ve been strength workouts, there is now ab work or lower body calisthenics.  We sorely neglect our abs exclusively so that should be a good thing to add in.   I’m actually looking forward to seeing what will come of this month so just a reminder that you need to be flexible in your plan because the best mapped out schedules can sometimes get curve balls thrown at them!

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End of Month Weigh In

So how did I do for the end of May?  I had 2 lbs to lose to make May a wash weight wise.  Do you think I could've gotten that thrown to me?  Nope.  I lost nothing this week which means I am up 2 lbs for May for a vacation where I could only taste the food I was eating 4 out of the 10 days and only 2-3 of them well.  So yeah, I get more than a little irritated carrying around some food lard I wasn't even able to enjoy.

Here comes the analytical part that I was kind of worried about.  This was week one on yet a new pill.  (Low estrogren one)  The old pill was breaking me out and I thought that was starting to improve early to mid week but no, all the little bumps are back and with it came a surge of gross hormonal mood swings AFTER my period.  Say WHAT!?!  So I will take this month and next month to see how my hormones even out and if I am still sporting the skin of a 12 year old boy and having hormonal swings then I'm going to have to go back to the other one because at least with that I only like 1-2 days of grumpiness compared to 2 weeks with the one I'd been on for years and so far a week on these.  So I'll give it a proper amount of adjustment time but also if I am gaining weight from it, oh HELLLLL no!

Now, here's the reason I think I may *not* be gaining weight from the pill.  Based off of SP's recommendations for my calorie range and exercise range, I really screwed the pooch thinking I was doing myself a favor.  My calorie range is  2190 and 2540 and my exercise goal for calorie burn is 4200.  What did I average this week calorie wise?  1893.  Yeah.  So I don't think I'm eating enough.  Does anyone ever get used to hearing that?  I mean how foreign does that sound?  Oh yeah, my calorie burn?  5200.  So I underate and overexercised.  Well, we see how that paid off.  You know, it's like you think you're doing yourself a favor.  "Well eating less and burning more should equal more weight loss!"  I KNOW this is not true but I've also been bamboozled by my body for months when eating in range and exercising in range and losing next to nothing. 

I promise that next week I will work on eating within my calorie range (though I have to admit, it's going to be challenging to hit those numbers, I may pick up some nuts...uh edible ones) and I will stick to my calorie burn number within 100-200 calories.  Starting in June is when we go to every other week for the high cal days so hopefully that will warrant some results too.  So I guess you could kind of look at today as the last hurrah of our old life where every Saturday was a high cal day.  We're having friends over and will enjoy a bit of indulging with them and then this week we'll plan what we want to have next Saturday for our first non-high cal day Saturday.  I'm thinking whole wheat lasagna.  I can assemble the night before, cook it for lunch time.  Reheat for dinner and freeze the rest and unthaw a half loaf of that Boudin sourdough we got which is surprisingly not as bad as I thought it would be nutritionally.

Hope everyone has an awesome holiday weekend!

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ABCDEFood

I saw this at A Merry Life and swiped it since it's Friday and I haven't nothing Earth shattering to say!  hee hee

A is for Apple, what’s your favorite variety?
Pink Lady (or Golden Delicious if Pinks aren't in season)

B: is for Bread, regardless of nutrition, calories, or whole grains what is your favorite type to have a nice big piece of?
Hawaiian Sweet Bread or Asiago Bread

C: is for Cereal what is your favorite kind currently (just one!) Currently-
I'm crushing on Cinnamon Cheerios big time right now but only eat it once or twice a week.  (Today!  Woot!)

D: is for Doughnuts, you might not currently be eating them but what kind do you fancy?
Chocolate Long Johns baby with CREAM filling, not that custard crap.

E: is for Eggs, how would you like yours prepared?
Scrambled.

F: is for Fat Free, what is your favorite fat free product?
My fat free apple dip.

G: is for Groceries, where do you purchase yours at?
Trader Joe's and Target.

H: is for Hot Beverages, what is your favorite hot drink?
Hot tea or if it's winter, hot chocolate.

I: is for Ice Cream, pick a favorite flavor and add a fun topping.
Dark Chocolate.

Slight freak out

I was having a minor freak out session last night.  I could feel that my legs were bloating up.  My sodium has been slightly higher the past 2 days but only by a little.  See those magical bc pills that made me less of a bee-otch also decided to break me out like a 12 year old.  I had bumps all over my face for 2 months and while I didn't really consider myself vain, that ain't cool!  So I switched to a low estrogen bc pill this month and I made it very clear I needed something as weight neutral as possible.  In just the few days I've been on them I can see the bumps going away (whew) but the bloating was disconcerting.

So then I was like "omg, you've sacrificed a clear face for weight gain!  IDIOT!" or "what is the scale going to say?"  "you have a goal, what if you don't meet it now because of these pills!?"  "How much is getting your innards cleaned out?  No wait, then that throws you into menopause and that brings it's own set of problems."  So today will be spent trying to breathe and keeping a hawk eye on the sodium the rest of the week and drowning myself in water.  I'm trying to remember this is the first few days on the pill and my body does need to adjust a bit.  I will control the things I have control over and leave the rest up to the universe.  I don't need to add stress and then that makes you hold on to fat.  Boo!  So be gone stress.  (Moons the stress)
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What I Ate Today

Breakfast- Vitalicious Egg, Cheese and Veggie Sandwich, banana with 1/2 tbsp Nutella

Morning Snack- Mini Babybel Light (I was dying of hunger)

Lunch- Lean pastrami sandwich with light muenster, spinach and mustard, veggies, TJ's apple bar, apple w/fat free caramel dip, fruit salad (not pictured- with watermelon, cantaloupe and pineapple)

Dinner- BBQ Chicken Pineapple Naan Pizza (w/ Chipotle hummus and 1 slice lacy colbyjack cheese) and 1 serving of Garden of Eatin' No Salt Tortilla Chips and 2 tbsp salsa.

Evening Snack- Skinny Cow Chocolate Ice Cream Sandwich

Water- 135 oz
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After Vacay Weigh In

I didn't do a weigh in "officially" because I'd only had 3 days under my belt by weigh in time and whatever was going to come off would be water weight.  Last week that was 3 lbs of the 8 I gained while in San Francisco.

This week after a full week of good eatin' and exercise I've got another 3 pounds off with 2 still hanging on.  I'm PRAYING that it comes off this week and May can be a wash where I started.  There would be nothing more frustrating than to having weight I didn't start with at the beginning of the month hanging around when I didn't even get to taste and enjoy it because of some d-bag's cold they decided to pass on to me on day 2.

So send out those vibes folks and I'll send some good ones right back at ya!  Have an awesome weekend!

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Pop a squat

Yesterday was a nice, successful day one for doing my 10 squats at the top of the hour.  I will admit, I got behind about midday because I was in a zone working (which paid off later with a Zazzle "Today's Best Pick"...go moi!)  So there was one point where I had to make up 30 in a row but that's okay with me as long as I got the 100 in.  Honestly, it helped alot with the lower back pain I'm having from my bed.  (Dang thing is like 2 years old and already giving me back problems no matter how many times I rotate it or whatnot.  Boo!)  I've got 20 under my belt so far this morning and again it's helping with the lower back pain so I'm gonna stick with it.  I know it doesn't sound like much but if you figure that if someone asked you to give them 100 squats, you'd groan just a little on the inside.  By breaking it up it feels like "is that all you got?"  Who knows, I might sneak a couple extra in here and there. 

Looking forward to chicken tacos tonight.  I'm a big cheese person but I love that I don't even need cheese on these, it tastes like it's already there!  It's the creamy texture of the hummus that makes it feel like it's there.  I sub spinach for lettuce and still add the onion.  So I'll have to whip out my handy dandy onion goggles (yes, they really work!  I was skeptical too!) and cut those up later.  Maybe I'll keep half raw and carmelize the other half if I'm feeling ambitious.  So perhaps y'all will have a new recipe to look forward to tomorrow!  (Of course I pretty much just gave you the recipe.  D'oh!)

Have a great one everybody!

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I Decided...

I wanted to thank everyone for their input on "Naming the Baby" yesterday.  I decided to not do an official challenge where I will do blog weigh in's or anything like that because I already do that.  Declaring a challenge will not change a single way I do things.  I work my butt off everyday and am very careful about my food so I think the pressure of a public challenge would only mess with the good mental thing I have going.

How will you know if succeeded?  When you see a picture of me ziplining across the rainforest in Maui.  If not, well, I can't force my body to do more than I already ask of it.  We will be cutting back on the high cal day twice a month to see if that does anything to help us along (I'm sure it will) but we're not cutting them out entirely, it's just not how we could live the rest of our lives and 170+ pounds off says it's not a bad strategy for us.

I have also decided to intersperse a bit of "top o' the hour" bursts of movement.  At the top of the hour, I stand up and do 10 squats and 10 arm reaches to spike the heart rate a bit.  I want to make this a habit and will eventually move to every half hour.  If I start to forget, I will set the microwave timer so I have to get up to turn it off and reset it.  I hope this little extra bit of movement helps things along too.  Mind you, I'm not holding my breath but all I can do is do everything I've been doing because as you all know, I don't give excuses anymore where health is concerned.  So if you want to send extra successful vibes out, that would help to make for an extra awesome anniversary trip! 
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"Naming the Baby"

I am trying to make a decision on something.  I do not believe in setting numeric weight loss goals.  I do pretty much everything right 90% of the year consistently which those of you who have followed me know.  We're going back to Maui (to Maui...Maui...sorry, LL Cool J moment) for our anniversary trip next year and I would LOVE to zipline.  I do not want to be anywhere near the weight limit because I know their scale could differ from mine and they weigh you before they hook you up and don't refund your money if you've eaten a bit too much loco moco the night before. 

I would be comfortable with a 20 pound cushion.  That means I would have 50 weeks to lose 83 pounds or 1.66 pounds per week.  Easy!  Totally doable!  Not.  I burn a TON of calories during workouts (800-1100 minimum) and I am vigilant about tracking my food paying special attention to fiber, sodium, calories and water intake.  Despite never missing a scheduled workout, doing strength training 3x week, being an angel 6 days a week and having the numbers work out to a 3-4 lb loss even INCLUDING high cal days, I consistently average 1 lb per week in weight loss.  It is beyond frustrating.  The only other adjustment we can do is cut back the high cal days which we have both agreed to do starting twice a month where I'll be cooking those days just so we can be sure what we're taking in instead of guessing. If this has been the missing link then we'll be all the better for it.

So while I would LOVE to say "I'm doing the 83/50 challenge!", I am petrified if I name it, I will jinx it.  I'm not sure that I want to throw out an official challenge declaration and put the additional pressure on myself.  I know how that goes from numerous failed attempts in the past and I end up feeling like I failed even if I did everything right and I've really tried to take unnecessary mental constraints off of this journey.  Conundrum.  I desperately want to be one of those people who can do that and at the end of the month/time period say "goal reached!" but history says that's not who I am regardless of effort or motivation.  Boo.

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Grillin' time!

We wanted to be grillers but honestly, we're lazy when it came to grill care.  A ripped cover was about all it took to not care about covering it during rougher weather and then you open the lid and are like "I don't want to eat off of that no matter how much elbow grease I put into it!"  But the Mr saw a charcoal commercial and that was about it.  Off we went to home improvement stores to look for a new grill.  He really wanted an infrared grill and the one we liked was being guarded by a d-bag salesman who got me SO ticked off I literally had to walk away before I punched him.  I looked at the Mr and said we're LEAVING!  So off to their competitor where they had an upgraded version with a cover for the same price.  So we thought "score!"  We realized the guy who was much nicer and likeable was also a shuck and jive artist and didn't really know what he was talking about.  They only had assembled ones that wouldn't fit in our car.  Then he checked another store for boxed ones and said they had 14.  We drive out there and they have none.  This did not make for a happy Mrs.  Then we drove to the final one that wasn't in a bad area and they had one left.  It got dismantled and put into the car.

So after 3 hours, the Mr had it put together.  The next day we put it out there, seasoned it and I threw some salmon burgers on the grill and some corn on the cob.  It was AWESOME!  We tried to do mahi mahi on the grill but that didn't come out as well.  I think we might actually be going back into the world of grilling and it's nicer to not worry about those frequent cancer inducing flare ups to char the food.  It's all covered up under its cozy grill cover waiting for our next culinary adventure.  Oh and our old grill?  Well, I stuck a sign on it that said "Free!  Clean today, grill tonight!" and 58 minutes later it was gone!  Gotta love it! 

Do you grill out alot?  If so, what do you like to throw on the barbie?
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Avoiding the spiral

Vacations has always been our downfall.  Not necessarily because of the weight we gain by loosening the reigns a bit on the food (never the exercise though, we walk all the time on vacay) but because when we came back we always procrastinated getting started again.  We'd give ourselves the rest of the time off work as a free for all because we were "on vacation."  Then we wouldn't workout and if I didn't mention it, he wouldn't either or we'd say "we need to workout" and then not do it.  Before we knew it, weeks and sometimes months passed by before we'd get back and by that time we kept our vacation weight and then some.  We could retrace the beginning of the end many times back to not getting right back to business when we came back from vacation.

Last year when we came back from Hawaii, we got right back to it the next day both food and exercise and never looked back.  We did the same thing this time when we got back from vacation.  I wasn't able to do a full strength session our first day due to a thumb injury but it was good enough to get a good pump going and some soreness the next day.  Then Turbo Fire 45 yesterday which I thought I was doing pretty good at until I felt like I usually do when I'm done halfway through and today 50 minutes of Dance Dance Revolution.  I am happy that we're back in the routine, have all of the fruit and veggies cut and ready to go and the water is flowing.  I'm still trying to get my innards back on track but hoping the fiber and water will rectify all of that.  I can't explain why but I have a renewed vigor approaching my journey and ready to roll baby!

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Poll: What's your vacation philosophy?

When it comes to food on vacation, what is your philosophy?

1)  "Plan out where I can eat the most healthy meals so that I can keep as close to my normal plan as possible."

2)  "It's a vacation!  The reigns are loosened, I enjoy myself knowing the scale might not be kind when I get home but get right back on track."

3)  "A mix of the two.  I try to eat well most of the time but give myself the occasional treat."

4)  "I go buck wild, avoid the scale when I get home and don't always get right back to it."

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Planting season is here!

I love having fresh herbs on hand so I'm glad the "safe date" for planting is fast approaching.  My chives have already come up so I just need to use them.  The other stuff I like to plant are rosemary, thyme, parsley, basil and oregano.  I might do something other than parsley this year because it never seems to get used, even for garnish so I'm open for suggestions other than mint. 

I tried planting a vegetable container garden last year and that just did not go well.  We did have a few strawberries for the Mr but nothing that could be used for a fruit salad.  I planted butter lettuce but it mutated into some spiked bear trap lettuce that the Mr begrudgingly choked down.  I planted jalapeno peppers for me which a few small random ones came up and sweet peppers for the Mr, which again a few small random ones popped up late in the season.  Zucchini never happened.  Tomatoes were laughable because we both hate them but were trying to get enough to make sauce and they pointed and laughed.  This year I'd like to do spinach if we can.  I wouldn't mind doing jalapenos again and maybe some kind of bean.  I need something that gonna give me yield people!  :-) 

Do you plant gardens?  If so, do you have a big one, container or are just looking to get started.  What do you plant?

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15 Years Ago Today

I married the man of my dreams.  Our road has always seemed to be us against the world but there is no other person I would rather travel that road with.  We have been together since we were teenagers and been through many changes from having lost weight to gaining weight to losing some to regaining LOTS of weight and now we've lost over 340 pounds together over the past 3 years. 

We are celebrating this year in ways we never dreamed possible and ways we wouldn't have been able to at 494 and 455.  I am excited for the future we are building and I know that every day whatever I face, I never face it alone.

I love you honey!

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Lycra Revisited

Okay, so I didn't kill myself this time trying to get into the new shaper.  It wasn't the easiest thing I've ever done but I worked my way into it.  I think next time I will bend over and lift the ta ta's higher into the tank top because I felt like I was trying to tape my boobs down in it.  Here are the results:

Click picture to enlarge

You'll be able to see better if you click the picture.  It does flatten slightly from a front view but you can't really tell here.  The side view is where you see the most difference.  In the first pic, the boobs and upper tire area stick out a little more so you can see gathers that cling to them.  In the second pic, everything just looks smoother.  The only thing I don't like is I look like a carpenters dream...flat as a board and...oh.  Well again I think I'll lift the breastages into the tank top portion up top to attempt to give some shape in the right way instead of being smooshed down. 

Would I recommend it?  Sure.  It's not necessarily the most pleasant thing you'll wear but it's not uncomfortable; you can breathe in it.  It's not a waist cincher so if you're looking for an hourglass shape, this isn't going to give you that.  It's gonna suck you in as much as possible and quarters will bounce off of you.  This was a reasonable price from One Stop Plus and they ALWAYS have a coupon code floating around out there so look for one.  Remember to order 2 sizes larger than what you currently wear or you will never fit into it!
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Learn to take a compliment

I'm saying this as much as a reminder to myself as I am to you.  I think for many of us with weight problems, negative self talk is a common thing.  When you don't feel like you look pretty or you might feel because you're overweight or obese that you couldn't possibly look good, well, ever.  When someone compliments you, it can almost feel like they're being sarcastic even when they're not.  Our brains seem to process something different than what is actually said.  Instead of saying thank you, it's much easier to point out your flaws ("That top looks so cute on you!"  "Thanks I just wish my arm fat didn't hang out of it though.") or make a joke ("You look really good today!"  *looks around*  "I know you can't be talking to me, I'm pretty sure I look as bad as I feel!"). 

Not only is this chipping away at our own self esteem by feeling like we don't deserve compliment because we may not be the perfect weight for our height or whatever but think of how it makes the person giving it feel!  You keep rejecting compliments or coming back with some smart aleck reason as to why you don't deserve one and people won't make the "mistake" again!  So even if you're uncomfortable getting one and everything in you is tempted to give your usual comeback...smile, say thank you and know that the person meant it so you should believe it!

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