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Friday, August 17, 2018

What I'm Reading This Week #33

The Mr and I went on our walk yesterday morning, and a quick check of the radar showed a blob moving into the vicinity so we knew we'd need the umbrellas.  We walked the first 1/2 mile in a bit of a mist, and it picked up to the point that it would've been fine had we been walking to our cars from the grocery or something but in two miles, we would've been soaked.  We passed a neighbor walking his dog, and he's like "you kayakers in the water all the time, and you've got the umbrellas out for a little rain?"  We laughed and walked on not really thinking much of it because the dude is burly and bald and we figured he probably just lets it roll off his head and bead up on his muscles to make them gleam as the single ladies drive by.  Then not even five minutes later, we pass our usual couple (umbrella-less), and they say something I couldn't hear, and they laughed and said "if we didn't know you, we'd think you were tourists!  Only tourists use umbrellas!"  We laugh and pass by.  What???  I was unaware of this tourist rule.  What does that even mean!?  The Mr is like "WTF, we're being umbrella shamed!!"  (In that sarcastic tone because we both hate the phrase
"(insert object/behavior here) shamed ")  I said "Eleanor Roosevelt yo!  No one can make you feel inferior without your consent!  I do not consent!!!"  Seriously people, I know it's not a torrential downpour but walking two miles in sprinkles will result in me entering a wet t-shirt contest at the end of 45 minutes.  Even when the rain let up to where we could've put the umbrellas down, we didn't.  I know my reasoning was "eff you, now I'm not letting you think you won by passing you and having you think you strongarmed me into putting my umbrella away."  We both agree getting a headbrella would be the way to go.  (affiliate link)

But enough about our wet weather antics, let's get to...

One Super-Surprising Strategy to Improve Your Workouts  (Something to think about.  I've felt pretty broken lately.  My back is tweaked and my scar tissue issue is getting worse, to the point I'm dropping weights due to it giving out.)

Why Eating More Might Actually Be the Secret to Losing Weight    (I've been reading about this a lot lately.  According to weight loss goals of 2 lbs per week (which rarely happens) and what my BMR is to my activity level, I should be eating 2200 cals a day.  That scares me and I can rarely sustain it without freaking out.)

How to Keep Alzheimer’s Disease Out of Your Future  (Honestly, that is the biggest reason I exercise now.)

12 Reasons You're Tired All The Time  (Because you wake up in the middle of the night wondering what fresh hell the next day will bring with the patio.)

5 Ways to Train Your Brain to Be Optimistic  (Not bad habits to get into anyway.)

Release Your Tight Calves In Less Than A Minute With This Triggerpoint Move  (Yep, I can vouch for this one.)

A Road Trip Workout So Your Body Won't Cramp Into a Ball of Sadness  (This is a joke, right?  I got all excited at first, but then I saw the actual exercises and could not stop laughing.  If I saw someone doing this shite at the gas station, I would roll my eyes so hard they could hear it.  I have a hard enough time not getting stares at rest stops just for touching my toes and doing gastroc stretches against the curb much less doing "suitcase swings.")

41 Reasons Fall Is Our Favorite Season Ever  (I sure as heck don't need a list but for those of you Fall-aphobes. Bring on the new seasons of your favorite shows! (36 days-squee!) )

This Grand Charleston Home Comes With an Equally Grand Price Tag  (I remember this place when we were sauntering the Battery.  (One saunters in the south, anything faster is just impolite.)  That porch, those moldings, that staircase!  *swoon*  Can't wait to go back!)

‘Back To The Future’ Cast Reunion Photo Is A Perfect Blast From The Past  (So cool to see them all together again.)

Today my friend comes and I get to meet her fiance for the first time.  It should go without saying given the week we've had that neither of us is in the mood for it but I suppose we'd better get in the mood.  *forcing smile*  I'm sure it'll be fine.  If not, we'll have interesting post visit conversation.

Oh and thanks for hanging in with our patio adventures this week.  I needed a place to vent and your jokes all made me laugh!  So thank you for that!

What's cookin' in your neck of the woods this weekend?  

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Thursday, August 16, 2018

Only Thursday eh? jail time for me!!   I think from late afternoon on, we kept saying "is it really only Wednesday?"

The dudes came out a little late and of course, it was the same guys, not the original crew like we'd been promised could happen.  Whatever.  Just do the damn job and do it right please so we can all be out of each other's lives?  The Mr told him not to stick any sand in the corner because it was already high and we were told it was going to match exactly. 

It did not.

That picture does it no justice because some of you might be saying "I don't see much of a difference" but trust me when I tell you that it looks like static from an 80's scrambled adult movie between the stones.  This batch was not ground down as fine and is much chunkier so it looks like pink Himalayan salt mixed in with grey and black granules and it is VERY noticeable.  I am praying with time I will not be able to see only that when I look outside.  Or I may get some concrete stain and friggin paint between every brick.  I haven't decided for sure.  They offered to come out and seal in 2 weeks when it has a chance to settle.  Nope.  The manufacturer doesn't recommend sealing for at least 3 months and I'd rather go through the winter and spring settle before we lock anything in.  We'll do it ourselves, do not ever step foot on my property again.  My arms are about broken from having to lift that behemoth grill four times over the past two days.  Thank God, I remembered we had the forearm forklifts to help or I don't know how we would've moved that thing once much less four times in and out.  (affiliate link) 

About three hours later, we noticed the "non-hazing" sand that had already been washed with water twice was SO hazy that it looked like someone powdered a baby's butt over the patio.  So once again, after they leave when they "finish" a job, the Mr and I are down on hands and knees going over every square inch of the patio.  This time it was with a vinegar/water solution to wipe off said haze. 

Our date nights suck.

Then it was time to work out which neither of us wanted to do in the slightest but we did.  Then I made dinner and got to work on the next project...

Medicine cabinet here I come.  I don't know how it's going to look but right now I could give a rat's butt.  If I get to tomorrow without lockjaw (literally had to scrape my jaw open yesterday morning with my jade tool because it wouldn't open!) and a noticeable eye twitch, it will be a miracle. 

Also, happy birthday Elvis.

What's your favorite gadget you couldn't live without?

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Wednesday, August 15, 2018 gifs

Where to begin.

We were both under the impression they were coming to power wash the sand out of all of the cracks with the crap sand they used and replace with actual sand that would know like we paid for?  The owner came out, chit-chatted with the Mr saying that is what would happen then pointed out to the guy coming out to "fix" what he couldn't do right the first two times.  (I think it's no coincidence my fingers kept typing shat instead of chat in the previous sentence.)  He removed the first few rows by the gate and fixed some low spots then a lot of spots in the back.  I'm not going to lie, he made me cringe quite a few times the way he beats those expensive stones back into place.

(Would be funny if he hadn't actually damaged a prominent stone)

Then he left for a bit.  We figured he was grabbing lunch before having to blow out all of the sand.  He comes back an hour later and starts power washing.  We assuming with how long he's washing that he's getting it all out of the cracks and especially given how long he spends washing off everything that's covered in sand from our siding (which freaked us out because we don't have the color to match that if he starts stripping it off of there) to the stairs (that he wrecked AGAIN with a huge gash) to the fence.

Then he knocks on the door as the Mr is outside doing me a DIY favor (remember that medicine cabinet mirror that fell off months ago?  Yeah.  Might want to try to get that done before company) and says he'll be back Thursday.

(actual footage of my brain scrambling upon hearing the above info)
I told him we were under the impression this was being done today, why is that not the case?  "I used too much water and it needs to dry."

(actual footage of my reaction)
I informed him that was not an option because we literally have people coming Friday to see the patio (and this is the second time he's pulled that crap with us).  I get the deer in headlights look.  "Well, maybe we come back next week then?"

"Um, if Thursday is too late, what makes you think next week is somehow better??"

(His actual reaction...for real.)
*I close the door and go get the Mr to give him the heads up*

You can see he's immediately regretting taking this on and wondering if it would've been better to just let it all sink.

He dealt with him and was not getting any answers or at least not ones that made sense other than he MAY be here today weather permitting.  (We established the weather would not be permitting the rest of the week, therefore, we'd better be seeing him tomorrow.)   When he left, the Mr sent the owner an email asking him WTF and we were led to believe this was a one day job.  Then we go out to move the monster grill back in and see that he, in fact, didn't power wash out ANY sand!!!

So let me get this straight.  You are going to come back out to put curing sand on top of sand that won't cure so that when it settles over winter and spring that the top cured sand will crack and crumble due to the base not being stable?  I'm not an engineer but that seems a pretty simple concept to us.  The Mr then sent pics of what we expected the patio to look like (where he pulled out the bricks and removed the sand) to what we were actually left with (exactly what we started with this morning on 85% of the patio.)

Someone will be here at 9am today.

If I don't write any more this week, I'm probably awaiting a hearing of some kind.

All gifs courtesty of

Tell me your favorite joke in the comments.

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Tuesday, August 14, 2018

What the hay and riled up redux

Happy Tuesday everyone!  The blah of weekdays.  Nowhere near as hated as Monday but not as revered as Hump Day.  Sometimes Tuesday feels like my spirit animal.

The weekend was full of need to do's.  Like a hanging plant fell earlier in the week and I thought it fell on the outdoor table.  Well, it did initially but then tipped over dumping everything into the cracks of the patio.  Yay.  It happened because of rope rot.  They had sisal rope and between weather and mini critters, it waved the white flag.  We decided to go with galvanized chain which isn't nearly as pretty but won't drop its contents either.  We headed to Home Depot and the guy who cut the chain for us was hilarious and sweary and I'm thinking he cut us a deal which was good because we got more than we needed.  We also headed to Kirkland's because as you know, I was crushing on the hayride sign last week.

Don't even look at me on the pumpkin patch one.  That was all Mr and who am I to turn down fall decor??  The Mr took care of some crappy jobs for which I am most thankful like cleaning the trash juice out of the trash can and trying to get the dirt from between the cracks in the patio...which leads us to the next story.

I've had a few people ask about when they're going to get to see the patio.  Well, let me clue you in on what's going on today.  They are coming to basically half redo the patio.  (Insert hissing here)  When we were trying to blast the dirt from the cracks with the hose, we wanted to scootch the water out of the back gate with our broom.  Nope.  It washed right back toward us in the middle.  That's a problem.  That means the required grading slope is not correct and that could spell big problems for us down the road.  The Mr wasn't having it and said he was emailing that douche and this was getting fixed.  He said he expected him out this week and this was his name on this project even if he subcontracted us out.  He is coming out and I'm not in it because the Mr said to let him handle it because I shouldn't have to stress out about it anymore.  Bless him.  Six effing weeks later we're still dealing with this crap.  The stone is beautiful but that's about it. 

So yeah.

This will be the THIRD TIME we've had to set up the patio again.  I'm over it.

What are you over this week?

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Friday, August 10, 2018

What I'm Reading This Week #32

Happy Friday everyone!  

Is it wrong I'm glad I'm taking my last walk for the week right now?  I don't know what it is but my morning walks have been particularly hard this week.  After declaring myself a rock star for being able to sleep until the alarm or get back to sleep if I woke up early and yesterday morning I was up at 5:30 am as usual and feeling like crap.  I feel like it's a real victory to have walked every day this week (including in the rain) because it was truly the last thing I felt like doing first thing in the morning.  

Enough about my walking woes, let's step up to...

Bride-to-be shamed by personal trainer on Twitter — and her response is perfect  (Douche nozzle is too kind a term for this guy.  Whoever taught him "shaming can be a great motivator" needs to be smacked firmly about the head and neck.)

Meal Prep Hack: This Is How Long You Can Keep Meat in the Fridge and Freezer (Or double the freezer time with a Food Saver.  I'm telling you...we just ate 18-month-old turkey a few weeks ago, and it tasted the same as the day I froze it!  (affiliate link))

10 Causes of Body Aches That Have Nothing to Do With Getting Old  (Good things to keep in mind.)

8 Signs You Need a Chiropractor  (So basically if you breathe.)

Selfies—Living in the Era of Filtered Photographs  (This is super sad, and the filtered IG or Snapchat photos look creepy, not all.)

Do you sit too much? Sedentary Lifestyle, Health Impacts, and Solutions  (I need to make sure I get up and just touch my toes every half hour.  My hips pay for it every single day.)

The Midlife Unraveling  (The first italics paragraph...learn it, know it, live it.)

This Is The Most Important Ingredient Of A Lasting Relationship  (SO true!)

How to Make This the Summer of Missing Out  (I didn't check a single personal social media account for three days last week, and it was heaven, and I missed nothing.  People aren't posting real life on there anyway.)

Panera is launching double bread bowls — and fans are already in love  (*puts on my eatin' pants and waits with baited breath for the first cold snap*)

‘We’re closed forever!’: How the search for the perfect selfie led to bedlam at an Ontario sunflower farm  (Reaffirming why people suck.)

The Lost Art of the Phone Call  (Sigh.)

No clue what's on tap this weekend which isn't a great way to start things out because we waste time playing the "I don't know, what do you want to do" game. 

What are you up to this weekend?

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Thursday, August 9, 2018

Thursday Ramblings

Happy Friday eve, all!

I was doing a little experiment the week before last after reading the clickbaity titled "I Ate 1 Apple Every Day For 2 Weeks, and This Is What Happened."  Basically, she swapped her banana for an apple and started pooping like a champ.  You know because of my oversharing, I'll do anything to poop on the regular since I'm anything but.  Well, guess what?  I Ate 1 Apple Every Day For One Week, and This Is What Happened,  It made me so effing ravenously hungry that I wanted to eat everything in sight.  I was like Godzilla stomping down cities to get to anything that would satisfy my cravings.

While I didn't go on a Taco Bell run, I ate everything in sight on our weekend away last weekend.  When I started back to the apple on Monday and felt that same ravenous hunger, I couldn't do it another week.  That banana holds me almost all friggin' morning and I always make sure to get small ones so it's not like some 5-ounce mondo nana.  So I declare that experiment not for me and I'd rather stay plugged up than feel that dangerously hungry no matter what I eat the rest of the day.  No bueno for this chica. 

One of my friends comes to town next week so everyone can meet her fiance.  Can I just tell you how weird it is to have someone you've known for 30 years and you're meeting the person they're going to marry for the first time after he's already proposed?  If you'd have told me that when we were in high school, I'd have said you were a liar.  It hit me kind of weird because I realized the last time we were together was the last time I'll ever be able to be the way we've always been together and I didn't really get to savor that.  I don't expect people to understand that or think I'm being dramatic but it's true.  The Mr. agrees.  She lives WAY out of state so it's not like we'll ever get to see them more than once a year and for more than a few hours.  So it kind of feels like a part of my childhood has died a little but I'm happy for her and hope it all works out.  There are some things that make us a little leery but I'm hoping our visit puts those things at ease.  If not, we just grin and bear it because what can you do? 

I found out Barry Gibb is going to be at Elvis week next Friday.  Do you have any idea how hard it is for me not to go??  That man was my first vapor on my Bee Gees lunch box...

Look at that feathery goodness.  I know he isn't going to be around long and I feel like this would be my only chance to see him.  Sigh.

The Mr and I were going to do New Year's Eve in Montreal but after looking at rental sites, I have not found ONE single place I like.  They are all super modern and that is just not the vibe I want.  I wanted some character like the outside of the buildings.  So now I have to start a new search all over again to see what we can get or where we'd even want to go.  I suppose we can just stay home we do every year.  Except when we went to Chicago for NYE 2011 into 2012 and went on a boat cruise at midnight under the fireworks.  Now THAT was a NYE!!!  I've seen so many damn cabins, my eyes are liquifying. 

Yesterday morning was my first walk in the actual rain.  I know I mentioned I liked walking after rain but walking in it is just irritating.  I'm still glad I did it though because I felt my doughy middle and said "no choice for you, missy!"  So I'm kind of proud I didn't punk out even when it was sheeting.

That's about it on my end.

Who is a childhood act you'd like to see before they go to the Hollywood Bowl in the sky?

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Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Hump Day Poll: Whoopsies!

Did your younger self ever do something boneheaded that you know if you'd have actually thought about it for more than 1.4 seconds you would have rethought what you were about to do?  I don't mean something major and life-changing but the kind of thing that if a pre-teen to teenager did the same thing to you now, you would be highly irritated. 

Here's mine for an example.

It was the Mr and I's second New Year's Eve together.  (The previous one, we'd only been official for a week.  That's right, we're Christmas lovahs!)  We were having a gathering of friends at my house and I didn't have a punch bowl.  I wanted to be fancy and use dry ice for a festive billowing so.

The Mr said his mom had one I could probably borrow.  I didn't think a thing of it when I plopped the dry ice in her punch bowl.  Her silver punch bowl.  It made this horrible sound like nails on a chalkboard and I immediately regretted it but I figured the damage was done and I just dumped the Tahitian Treat in there and forgot about it. 

We didn't think about it again until we were cleaning it out and it was just completely tarnished inside.  I was 18.  I had no clue about silver polish or what to do to fix it.  (affiliate link)  We cleaned it up the best we could and she was not pleased and let the Mr know it.  It didn't help her mom died that night and she called the Mr ten minutes to midnight to let him know. 

Happy New Year.

(via GIPHY)

It's okay, laugh...the circumstance is typical for us in retrospect and we laugh and shake our heads too.

What boneheaded honest mistake did you make when you were old enough to probably know better but didn't do better?

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