I am struggling to find something to write that doesn't sound weak, whiny and make people want to hit unsubscribe.
I'm on day 3 of the Christmas cold. Colds aren't usually too big of an issue for me because I feel relief when I stand up to exercise. Oh yeah, that's right. I can't stand up to exercise for the foreseeable future. I'm a weepy mess. Everything I read on the internet about Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome offers little hope and even the last resort of surgery has very mixed results sometimes making the original pain seem like a cake walk. Hell even cortisone shots can end up doing nerve damage! So I do searches like "can people recover from Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome without surgery" and just end up on sites with horrendous pictures of gaping surgery visuals. Or you'll have sites that tell you the conservative therapy (ice, elevation, rest, anti-inflammatories, etc) but no time frame for recovery.
We had to cancel our New Years Eve plans in Chicago. I was cleared by the podiatrist to go but only if I taped up my foot. Well, taping up my foot pinches the nerves and makes it worse. I can barely stand long enough to make my lunches so walking 3-5 miles per day is out of the question. I begin wondering if our summer trip to Hawaii is going to be an issue. I pray it's not. I pray I'm healed by then. The 2 weeks of altering are coming to a frustrating end and while I'm not limping, the soreness I wake up with or the little nerve firings are enough to sink me back into a slight depression.
We have an ultrasound thingy coming that will hopefully help. Several sites say it speeds healing. I hope so. I don't even want to go back to the over the top workouts. I'd be happy adding back in Walk Away the Pounds! At this point, low impact Turbo Fire seems like an impossible dream. I never thought I'd envy people running onstage after 'coming on down' on The Price is Right or even grocery shopping. I had to send the Mr alone last Sunday because I knew it wasn't in the cards. I mean how pathetic I just want to go on a normal grocery run?
I would be insane by now if it weren't for the Mr. He has really been wonderful and has put up with my daily crying jags. I'm trying to be strong but I'm so weak. I told him I just want to lay in bed all day in his arms and weep. What a wonderful way for a man to spend a day. I'm trying to reward him for all of his help by watching Total Recall for the first time. You know, the real one from the 80's in which everyone are horrible actors? (Though I hear the reboot is about the same) But I'm trying to take it like a champ because my honey has been as well over the past week or so.
I don't know what source of inspiration I can really be to anyone right now. I'd ask you guys to hang in with me but I honestly don't know how long this recovery will take. I don't know if I can stand long enough to try out and photograph new recipes without undoing healing. So there is my cheese and whine. I really feel like I'm letting you guys down. I try to be strong but this has truly beaten me down mentally and physically.
Have you had an injury that felt like it would never heal? How did you get through the low points?
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It is tough to keep your optimism when injury prevents you from doing even normal things. I have no problem stepping up and helping out because I know you'd do the same for me. I have faith that you will pull through. It may take longer than we'd like but I honestly think this is something that you will be able to heal from and get back to normal, it will just take a lot of patience for both of us.
ReplyDeleteIt's very hard especially when I feel no real improvement over a week ago. I feel like I should be feeling a lot better by now but just the fact I'm seeing NO success stories with conservative treatment doesn't boost my confidence.
Delete*hugs*
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteWe love you no matter what. Blog what you feel and we will be here as steady friends wishing we could do so much more.
ReplyDelete((hug))
Cheezchik32
Thanks Cheezy! I appreciate it.
DeleteHUGS!! We love u and not just ur recipes, buddy...so just blog what u feel and we will try to cheer u up:d....
ReplyDeleteTake care of urself and I am glad u realize u need rest...And googling health stuff is always scary...rest up and u will heal...
Hugs
manasa
I know but I feel like the reasons you guys come/stay here will be fewer and farther between. I have no idea what to write about. "Still in pain, still sucks, still burning next to nothing. Awesome." I just want this part over with so I can get back to life.
DeleteThat sounds terrible! I think everyone is entitled to feel a little sorry for themselves sometimes. Just don't give up, though! Going down the rabbit hole of internet "medicine" is never a good idea ;) I don't know you so sorry if this is like way too cheesy, but you are SUCH an inspiration to me. What you've done has taken so much strength and determination, so I know you have what it takes to get through this!
ReplyDeleteIt's getting very hard to want to exercise when it's like one of three types of exercises I can do. The lack of variety is getting to me. I only look online because I need to be informed of what's ahead of me because the podiatrist was so vague. I just wish there was more (any) success stories out there. Even the surgical ones are nightmares with multiple surgeries involved at times with little improvement. Ugh.
DeleteIt is tough to have an injury that puts you out of commission (I'm just getting back into the gym after being out for an entire month). Try to remember how much progress you've made to date and how much you'll appreciate working out again when you are healed. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteIt truly stinks doesn't it? You envy people who can do the smallest things that you can't. My biggest fear is I'll undo my progress. It doesn't help having a cold that's sucking away healing power from my main injury either. Grrr!
DeleteYou have a given right to have a pitty-party! It helps :)
ReplyDeleteI had surgery on my right foot in Sept. for a similar injury. I did go to a orthopedic Doctor who specializes in foot and ankle. I am now walking without pain and started driving after 12 weeks. A looooong recovery but well worth it.
You've been so determined and done such great things in the past that this will work out too - Just know that there are a lot of people pulling for you!
I'm glad to hear you're doing better! Thanks, I am praying I don't have to go the surgery route, knock on wood, my symptoms aren't quite as severe as some I've been reading.
DeleteNope, won't hit unsubscribe... I will keep on reading....
ReplyDeleteI had sciatica about two years ago, and this past Wednesday my back began acting up again. So, I'm sitting here at my desk at work and as soon as I'm done typing this, I'll be standing up to take the pressure off my hip/butt/back. With my back issue I have a hard time sitting and sleeping.
So, from someone who had/possibly has again, nerve issues in her back... don't give up, recovery may take a while, but you are strong (as you've shown us over and over and over!!!).
...and a supportive husband is a wonderful thing!!
Do what you can and I'll keep reading! Don't think of your blog as a burden (you don't need that stress) but as a way to reach out to some new friends!
LauraLaz
I hope you feel better and don't go back into sciatica issues. A friend of mine is a massage therapist and she had up a reflexology chart and the sciatic nerve pressure point is on the middle of the bottom of the heel. I think it said to press on it for 5 seconds, 2-3x a day for 5-10 days. I'm going to do it for my sinuses which is all of the toes. When you have an injury, you're up for anything! LOL
DeleteOh mama, I'm so sorry. It's ok to feel weepy and angry and frustrated. You're a machine and to be down like this is miserable. I hope you can get it all worked out soon. *HUGS*
ReplyDeleteYeah it does suck to be going along and get knocked down. The biggest thing is I ignored my body and then I pushed myself too hard. I'm PRAYING my body forgives me and lets me get back to some semblance of normalcy.
DeleteIt's a bump in the road. It will pass! Keep fighting the good fight (HUGS!!!)
ReplyDeleteLOL, I had a "P.S.",
ReplyDeleteI recently read at two different sites that 90% of this thing is nutrition. How about just focusing on really clean eating for the time being. And maybe doing some arm weights from your chair??
Yes, that's pretty much what I've been doing. Lots of weights, no impact anything, abs, etc. Its just very limiting compared to what I'm used to so I'm going nuts! (I know, too late)
DeleteThe good and the bad, that is what we need to report. I am sure you write your blog not just for us, but for YOU. I know when I blog I write for me and I put it all down. Subscribers come and go. If you write truth the subscribers will read. I can relate to your current situation. Hang in there. Keep writing. For me it is a process and writing helps me. Your writing about it will help someone else and will show others that you can persevere. I'm reading and I plan on coming back good or bad! Be well and happy. Tracy @ mytinytank.net
ReplyDeleteYep, hopefully this whole stinky situation will be resolved soon but I'll have shown at least a few people that injuries don't have to hold you back.
Deletenone of your loyal readers is going anywhere! I'm so sorry you're in so much pain!!! I totally feel your depression,though. I was out of commission from running a year ago and thought the world might end. Fortunately, (or 'un') the not running was not helping my issues so i started running again. But, for months I ate too much b/c I was depressed and nearly cried when I saw people outside running!
ReplyDeleteSo, the paying close attention to what you eat and altering the calorie amounts and doing the few exercises that you CAN do is a great idea! I know! It still sucks~~ think positive thoughts of a healing foot and stop googling it!!! :)
Isn't it weird how you can envy others for doing something you took for granted before? You can bet I won't take it for granted again!
DeleteI started reading your stuff for inspiration, now I consider you a friend. Feel free to whom, vent and bitch all you want. I'm here and I will listen.
ReplyDeleteOh honey :( I know it hurts and you are frustrated and you know what? You need to feel all those emotions. You can't just push them aside and pretend to not feel the way you are feeling. It's gonna suck for a while and sometimes you just have to do what you have to to get through it. You still trying and still going is still inspiring, you being human and feeling those bad emotions doesn't make you any less of an inspiration. Don't worry about any of that though, worry about yourself and getting better. You'll get to a better place emotionally but it will take time and will take feeling down for a bit. Sometimes its ok to not be ok. Hugs my sweet, dear friend. It will be ok in the end and if it isn't ok then it isn't the end. Ok that is all the generic one liners I got :) Love you and hope you start feeling better soon!
ReplyDeleteOh I'm having NO problem feeling the emotions! LOL Thanks so much for your support, it means the world to me!
DeleteI know your pain, frustration and worry. It will get better but in teeny increments--just focus on the looooong picture. I herniated a disc while pregnant and couldn't take even an aspirin, so I experienced the full meal deal with that. The worst is not the horrific pain but it is he worry-you don't know if it'll EVER heal. You have to look at the progress over a week, not day to day. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteYes, that's about right, the worry is almost worse. You analyze every little nerve twitch, pain, strain, etc. "Does that mean it's getting better or worse?" It's a not so pleasant trip in your own head.
DeleteI am not going anywhere! I know it is so hard for you to sit still but you have to give it as much time as it needs to heal. Over 20 years ago my husband was diagnosed with two degenerating disks in his back. They told him surgery was inevitable. He spent over two weeks laying on the floor because that was most comfortable. We set up computer next to him and he taught himself Autocad. After that were weeks of physical therapy. But it's over 20 years and still no surgery. He does what the therapist told him to do to protect his back and he does the exercises he was taught.
ReplyDeleteRest it as much as you are supposed to. And as frustrating as is, give it time. A week really isn't long enough to see results sometimes. Cry if you need to (your Mr. is wonderful) and vent here all you want.
((Hugs))
I'm glad to hear your hubby is better and that the exercises he was shown help. I need to do my exercises (PT) more often, right now just once or twice a day and the Mr does them with me. I had to get them off of another podiatrists site because mine just wanted to keep taking everything in increments. It's like "just give me everything I need to get better, I'm not going to keep paying you in $25 copays to keep you in business!" Thankfully all of the PT exercises I found were the same and the weakness I was starting to feel hasn't shown up in well over 3 days which is a relief. I'd be taking this better if I was a patient person. :-\ But your support definitely helps!
DeleteLike your other loyal readers, I come here because I feel you're a friend, not because of what I can get from you. In fact, it's often more rewarding to be able to GIVE...support, suggestions, advice, and maybe a little teasing to try to make you laugh in spite of a frustrating situation.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a proactive person that the sheer frustration of passive rest has got to be torture. I've been reading your blogs although I haven't commented, mostly because commenting on an iPhone while traveling is also sheer torture. I haven't seen or don't remember whether your injury would allow you to swim or even use a reclining bike exerciser for some higher cardio. Maybe a more productive internet search would be how to burn more calories while unable to stand? Can you rig a speed bag where you can reach it while seated? Maybe hitting something will help your frustration, at least. ;)
Yeah you hit it, the rest is torture. I have a floor bike that I used last night...sometimes my foot is okay with it, other times not so much. Pool isn't an option but I might have the Mr put the punching bag back up or at least lean it against something because beating the hell out of that sounds really good right now.
DeleteSending healing energy your direction my dear. Remember to count your blessings. A wonderful hubby and fans who love you no matter what.
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
Shelley Solie
Thanks so much Shelley!
DeleteYou are never not inspiring, and many of us have been dealing with these issues for a long time- and the rest will probably get there some day. There is no way to rose color this thing up- when you are emotionally ready to push yourself and your body ends up saying 'not so fast, missy' it is impossible to feel rosey about it. I have been fighting one thing after another for the last couple of years and it sometimes feels as if it won't end. I am rooting for you, though, because you are young- you are in so much better health now- and I know that you will not quit on yourself. Don't feel you have nothing to share with us- you do! And we are all here with you, even in the valleys.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's exactly what my body said too and almost right after I did a workout that pushed me over the edge and I literally yelled at my body and said "you will not beat me!" It responded in unkind. I appreciate all of the support. It's overwhelming!
DeleteThis whole thing must be incredibly frustrating AND painful. I can't imagine what you're going through, so all I can say is "Hang in there." I know that's pretty weak, but it's the best I got. I hope you can find some alternative that is still fun to celebrate the New Years. I was looking forward to hearing about your trip to Chicago. Bummer. And I'm not unsubscribing anytime in the near future. Let's face it, we've all gone through bad times and none of us can ever give up on each other, cause then we'll give up on ourselves, and GIVING UP is NOT AN OPTION!
ReplyDeleteAmen sister. I'll still get in some kind of activity even if it bores me to tears. (I'm there, dude!)
DeleteNot going anywhere either, so write whatever and whenever you like. You're entitled to a little whine with this thing; it STINKS to high heaven. I remember what it felt like with I tore the plantar fascia in my foot (stepped up on a stool and felt it r-i-p) and how long it took to get better, and what you're going through is way worse. Take care of yourself, do what you need to in order to stay sane and get better, and know that there are plenty of us here who will stick with you no matter what.
ReplyDeleteYikes, that would stink! I am hoping for more optimistic days ahead. I think between the condition and the cold, I'm not in the best frame of mind.
DeleteYour whine helps us to know that we are not alone when we have a pity party. I have had a back injury for 10 years that surgery at 33 made better but never the same and now it has crept into my neck. So I have pity parties too. I was killing it in my workouts then the neck thing happen and the doctor says, "have you been lifting weights?" Well, yes, its what I do besides hiking. And his response was, "No no no". I think I screamed when I got back in my car. How am I suppose to not gain back my weight. I can walk everywhere but its soooo time consuming. But that's where I am for whatever reason and today is a very weepy day for me. I feel swelling in my legs and just a general lag in spirit since last night. My mom is coming to visit and I was looking forward to it, but for some reason I feel like the life got sucked out of me. Oh, I remember why (the mechanic just called) we are ending the year with a $1500 bill. I need a glass of wine.
ReplyDeleteThanks, I feel better getting that out. lol
Ugh, that would be so frustrating! Did you get a second opinion with a sports injury therapist to see if there are alternate strength exercises you can do? We can weep together and that mechanics bill is INSANE! BOO!
DeleteI'm sorry that you had to cancel your plans for Chicago. And it royally sucks that you aren't feeling better and are also battling a cold! I'm on day 9 of the worst cold I've had in years. Grr. I appreciate that you share your struggles along with your success as it helps the rest of us know that we aren't alone in ours. Your Mr. sounds a lot like mine....absolutely wonderful and supportive. Hopefully you can focus on the positive things and look to him for strength to help you through your recovery. ~Krista
ReplyDeleteColds STINK and it doesn't help when they come along at the most inopportune times. We've got good Mr's for sure! Feel better soon!
DeleteWe do not come back day after day because you are all sunshine and rainbows all the time. You are an amazing, wonderful, beautiful inside and out, human being. You make me feel like I am not alone in my struggles, pain, injuries and overindulgence. As much as your recipes and pictures make me drool, your health is so much more important than any of that, you are not letting us down by putting yourself first. If I could, I would march on over and give you both a great big hug, but that would be really stalkery. So I guess you'll just get a ginormous e-hug *HUG* and my thoughts and hopes that you do get better as soon as possible. Be the success story you are not finding online. You are just that spectacular you can do it! And kudos to the mr for being awesome. You two are such an amazing pair! Much love, Valerie.
ReplyDeleteThanks Valerie, I do appreciate it. I'll take any hugs I can get. :) God knows when I make it through this, I'm going to do an extensive series on this so I can give someone else hope.
DeleteValerie said it perfectly. I totally agree.
DeleteBest wishes for your healing, Anele!
Hey Anele,
ReplyDeleteI've been reading your blog for awhile but never commented, but this post hit home! I'm a marathon runner, and I got a serious stress fracture in my hip after my first marathon thanks to some really stupid training and poor nutrition on my part. The stress fracture took 8 MONTHS to fully heal, and I couldn't walk at all for 6 months - I was on crutches. Going from running 60 miles a week to not even walking was devastating for about the first month. Then I decided to stop dwelling on the things I couldn't do and start thinking about the things I could do. Although I couldn't put any weight on my hip or leg, I had a range of motion, so I was able to ride horses, swim, etc. They were no substitute for running, which is my first love, but eventually I accepted that my body would heal when it was ready and there was only so much I could do to speed it up. I know it seems crazy now, but you will get through the injury and you'll be a whole lot tougher for it mentally! I also have chronic back and stomach conditions that have no reasonable or "sure thing" treatment options, so I feel you there as well! It will get better! You are luck to have the Mr for support, and I promise your readers will stick with you regardless :)
Danielle
Thanks so much for commenting Danielle! I'm so sorry for the stress fracture and I take back what I said the other night about wishing I had one of those over this. I'm glad you're all healed up!
DeleteOkay, your health is more important than your blog--you should NOT feel like you're letting anyone down or feel like you need to push yourself because if you don't, you're going to disappoint people. No one reads your blog just because they want to see what workout you've done or what recipe you've come up with. PLEASE do not feel like people are disappointed in your or are going to unsubscribe because of this. I know that 2013 will be a better year for you and you WILL recover from this.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kiersten. I know that but I feel like I have nothing to offer right now. What a baby I am! Thanks for the support, it means a lot!
DeleteI just want to say that I hope you are feeling better soon! I am sure it's miserable to want to do things and not be able to. I think I have done something to my ankle. One day it hurts and the next it doesn't. It's stressing me out. It's not horribly painful, but it bugs me, so I might need to see a Dr soon. I am not sleeping well and I have been having crying fits. I am just worn out trying to deal with everything. I just wanted to say that I will read your blog no matter what you write about. I always enjoy it. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Elizabeth. Definitely go to the doctor! Don't do what I did and ignore your body and then go overboard and screw yourself. Because you don't want to move from "not horribly painful" to horribly painful. It takes one wrong workout to make the transition too and the fact you aren't sleeping because of it is also a big sign. Skip the general doc and go straight to an ankle specialist if insurance allows. Catch yours before it gets worse...I wish I had.
DeleteI worded that a little wrong..the not sleeping isn't because of pain, I am just prone to bouts of insomnia, which make me feel like crud. That combined with the occasional ankle pain and my weight gain are just making me moody. It's weird that I usually only feel a twinge when I get up after sitting a long time. I plan on seeing a Dr soon if it keeps hurting. Our insurance is in the process of switching on the 1st, so I need to figure out the odds and ends of that first. I think with our current(soon to be old) insurance that we can see a specialist without a referral. I hate going to the Dr, any Dr. I have such anxiety over it, but I know I need to if it keeps bugging me.
DeleteI will hang in with you for as long as it takes. I know right now it seems hopeless but you are not letting ANY of us down. I know it is so tempting to do but may I suggest stopping with the Google searches? I think they can be helpful to a certain point but not a lot of people run to the internet to share what wonderful successes they've had with a problem. So you're way more likely to find a bunch of horror stories and not hear from anyone who had success. From experience, I know that not being able to find success stories just leaves me feeling hopeless and like MY problem will never get better. But that's actually never been the case. I wish I had more advice to offer but I just wanted you to know that I am here supporting you along the way... I have read your blog for a long time and you are an inspiration to me. I'm glad you have the Mr. to help you too, he sounds like a wonderful man!
ReplyDeleteTrue, I guess when people are over something they usually want to be done with it and move on. I will not be that person. I will tell my story and hopefully give others hope. Thanks so much for the support/advice, it does help!
DeleteUnsubscribe now?? What?? When we might be able to drop in and put a little teeny, tiny smile on your face? Having you need us is a new thing, but so is this nasty #)@#(*$ injury, and if you can put up with that (as you must, crying or not), then I certainly plan to stick around and see how you triumph over this and come out the other side even better and lighter than ever!! No matter how long it takes, it is just a stumbling block...oops that's right, you can't stand so you can't stumble. See! Even from a sitting position you are still managing to exercise and eat well. So, no stumble there! Even in your down time, you show us that stumbling is not something you plan to do! Thanks for that example! Hang in there sweetie! This too, you shall overcome!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your faith that I'll kick this. Well, I guess get over it, kicking isn't allowed right now. I'm trying to be a good example...I'm just kind of a wuss too!
DeleteYou're sick and injured. You're allowed to be pissed (you sound more pissed than whiny to me). I think this is the definition of adding insult to injury. Be as pissed as you need to be for as long and you want to be, and know that we're all there for you. You've carried us along the weigh, now it's our turn to carry you.
ReplyDelete*hugs*
Yes insult to injury is about right. I feel SOOO guilty about having the Mr have to take some stuff on that I usually do. He says he knows I'd do it for him and I would but he's the one that works the full time job, he doesn't need to come home to more crap to deal with. Though I think he's appreciating what "throwing dinner together" actually entails now. LOL Thanks for carrying me...I just hope you don't get a hernia! HA!
DeleteI'm so sorry your plans have been squashed. :( *hugs* Let your man express his love for you by taking care of you when you are down. Lots of women do not have that luxury. Enjoy that part! I had a time line when I cut my toe off, and I guess it's easier to deal with things when there is an end in sight. Believe it or not, what carried me through was looking forward to a long soak in a hot tub. Cat baths for almost six months of wound care got old, old, old. Celebrate what you CAN do, knowing that your limitations will expand in time and you'll be able to do more and more and more. Know that we are cheering for you, praying for you, holding you in our hearts as you recover.
ReplyDeleteOh, it reads Shirlee instead of Missy now because my cell phone has FORCED me to use my gmail address instead of my primary email address for log ins for apps. So I deal with my real name. Ick. lol
ReplyDeleteFirst let me say that I wrote this long response at 4:30pm today and the whole thing got erased when the hubs signed off on his Playstation downstairs and knocked me off line. I had a true temper tantrum, but I'm back now. As far as you letting people down, I think I need to strangle you. No one is here because of what you "do" for them. That's not how friendship works, young lady. You don't need to write motivational or inspirational blogs to get people to want to follow you. People are hear because they get to follow what's going on in your life--the good and the bad. You don't fake it when you're not happy, and people respect that and they trust you to tell them the truth of what you're going through. Now you can put your trust in all of us by allowing us to be there for you no matter what is going on in your life. The triumphs and the tears. The fear of the unknown with this health scare. The every day victories that mean so much to continual growth and joy. THAT is why we are here.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to nerve pain as I've had it since the car accident in June. My right knee is in such bad shape and is causing me constant pain. I have numbness in certain areas that I don't know if I'll ever get back. I keep massaging the scarring and it's breaking it up somewhat, so now it looks like I have Good & Plenty candy pieces floating around (gross). I'm taking Nyquil or a sleeping aide almost every night just to try to sleep from the ache that goes from my knee up to my butt. The worst is when I have an itch and I scratch it but I can barely feel it so it doesn't relieve the itch. The aching shooting pains are the worst and it doesn't matter if I'm sitting, standing, walking, etc. So frustrating!
I tore my ACL in November 2006, and it was a nightmare. I did physical therapy to help stabilize the knee. When you stop physical therapy, and don't continue the exercises at home, all the muscles, etc become weak again. Every once in a while, the injury gets aggravated and I get forced into wearing a knee brace. It's disheartening bc I don't like being incapacitated.
ReplyDeleteYour readers realize that things don't always work out the way we want them to. We"re just hoping that you get well soon.
Oh, Anele! I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know how hard it is to be laid up feeling worthless! The hubs and I just got our real estate licenses and then I all of a sudden I came down with a case of mono! He's been leaving the house and training for hours and hours and days and days, and I can't do anything but watch Forensic Files...for the past two months! Any time I try to be a bit productive, I either tire out super quickly or I come down with a fever. I hope that you start feeling better soon, and I'm praying for a quick recovery for you! XOXO
ReplyDelete