What I'm Reading This Week #48

Happy Black Friday!  Are some of you out with the masses shopping?  Watching football?  Jonesing for a turkey sammich?  Thanksgiving was a low-key blur here.  It was hard to get jacked up for it with the whirlwind that was the last two weeks on the bathroom front.  It felt like suddenly it was here and there was no build up, more like another thing to fit in.  Not quite how I wanted to roll into the holidays but I'll tell you one thing, all yearly projects must be started in March-May because anything later and it seems to bleed into the Fall and beyond.  I'm tired of feeling unprepared for the holidays the last few years.  I guess I'm thankful for the late thanksgiving this year or we'd have been in the thick of it.  I also know late thanksgiving year's means Christmas barrels at you at warp speed so buckle up buttercups!

Now let's get to:

What Do Compression Socks Actually Do for Your Workouts?  (I have about 10 pairs.  These are good starter pairs for plus size.)

Gut Health Products Have Taken Over the Supermarket. Are They Making Us Any Healthier?  (My gynie has me on some but I seriously wonder if they're worth the headache as I've not seen any difference)

3 Questions to Ask Yourself When Things Go Wrong  (Definitely good to remember and practice)

7 Delicious, Filling, and Non-Boring Ways to Use Oats  (I'm always down to zhuzh up the oats but I'm not up for savory)

When Meditation Backfires: A Journey to Stress-Free Living  (I am so not in a place where meditation works for me yet)

All the Home Maintenance Tasks You Should Tackle in November  (It's a little late but better to do it now so you don't regret it later.)

Ageism Hurts All of Us, Even ’Young People’  (Yes it does.)

We Tested Over 300 Toys to Find Our 2024 Best Toy Award Winners  (No clue if this is accurate but passing it on for people with  kids/grandkids to shop for)

Changing Holiday Traditions; Keeping Holiday Values  (For my grievers)

This Comforting Sticky Toffee Pudding Recipe Goes From Oven (or Air Fryer) to Table in Just 20 Minutes  (Literally my favorite dessert this time of year.  Sooo good!)

  

Six Chicago restaurant closures you should know about  (Sigh...RIP to one of our favorite Chicago sweet stops.)

We're hoping to just chill and finish up leftovers.  I want this weekend to breathe for once and have no real plans.  My friend is in town but I'm playing it by ear.  If I don't feel like doing something, I'm not going to do it.  I've run myself so ragged that I may just say maybe next time.

How was your holiday if you celebrated and anything on tap for the weekend?

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Hump Day Poll: I Thought Everyone Did That!

Holidays are built on traditions and many traditions are ones that we think everyone has.  My Italian friend has a huge feast of foods that I thought people just had any day of the week.   That woke me up to the fact that not all foods I thought were a given for certain holidays actually are.  I got curious and asked my chiropractor if they had any dish that it wouldn't be the same if they didn't have it for the holidays and he said corn casserole.  My Mom made that on occasion for random events but not necessarily holidays.

With Thanksgiving being tomorrow (and Christmas rocketing toward us), what foods did you think everyone ate when you were a kid (or adult) but found out later it was either regional or just your family?

Mine was Grandma's noodles.  I thought that's what everyone had but the Mr had never heard of such a thing and I think my family might've been militant about him trying them by the way he tells the story.  I thought it was just me that said he should try them but apparently many did.

How about you?  What food was/is a staple for your holiday but not necessarily with others?

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Renegades of Jank Bathroom Reveal

That's right friends, you read that right!  

Have *I* got a bathroom reveal for you!   Let's first take a peek at our bathroom install process because calling it progress?  T'would be laughable.

Needless to say we were less than pleased.  What pleased us less after being told the only solution is to come back out, sledgehammer out the whole thing and reinstalling it?  That process wouldn't start until mid-JANUARY.  

This was supposed to be done October 24th!!!!

Mmm hmm.

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Soooo, if you think I'm going to have us living an additional two months washing our hands and brushing our teeth over a shower stall, you're nuts.  We got the vanity I painted back into the bathroom and the Mr hooked it up so we could stand like normal people post bidness.  Next was addressing the big ass hole in the wall where our medicine cabinet went.  I said screw it, put up two temporary shelves with small nails and I would slap up some peel and stick wallpaper in there to pretty it up temporarily.  Now I give you the evolution of the jankiest medicine cabinet of all time.

The Mr took the light from the foyer and put it up temporarily so we didn't have masking tape over a hot switch and we could, you know, have light since we had to take off the bathroom fan they installed to keep them from ruining that too.

We can't hang the mirror so leaning it against the wall it is.  

So posh.

Now time for you to appreciate the sloppy prime coat to blank out the God awful blue we painted it two years ago.

That'll be covered with wallpaper, I'm not going all out to make it perfect.

Next was the back of the door towel hanger that we now have to use that has already started ruining the door trim when you close it all the way.  Add it to the list.

You can see our delightful open air vanity I painted.

See how it gives a hippie chic vibe?  

Actually, let me use this opportunity to give you a tip.  I used Ferbin Killians Urethane Paint on that like every stupid blogger out there told me to.  LIES.  That alleged crap ass paint has chipped no less than 4x doing nothing more than just SITTING THERE.  So you start having us actually use it and it's over.  I am not going to keep doing touch ups on this so add polying the whole vanity and everything I've painted with it to the list.  This also explains why the front door chips that the association made us use their paint.  I will never buy paint that expensive again.  

*stepping off soapbox*

And because we need a little Christmas, right this very minute, a little Christmas craft to make an appearance on the pooper.

The cream rising to the top are the unskimmed walls they left us with the adhesive baskets I had to get so we weren't scavenging on the shower floor like animals.

And the pièce de résistance, are the craft magnets I had to use at the bottom of our new shower curtain to keep it from attacking us while we shower but that kind of failed so I guess they'll come off.

So the next time you look around at your bathroom and think it looks outdated or not as nice as you'd like, just think of this horror show and be thankful.  Because sadly, this is an upgrade we're thankful for right now while secretly hexing the installers under our breath.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have ram board to warp with wet feet post shower.

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"The Second Year is Worse"

The following is a post on what has become a series.  If you have been through an illness or death of a parent/loved one, consider this what the young'uns call a 'trigger warning' as it deals with the raw emotions of an unexpected death which may include cursing, dark humor and not holding back my feelings about my experience.  If that's offensive, go elsewhere as this post isn't likely going to benefit you.  If you are new here and want to see the posts leading up to this one, you can start with posts on July 7, 2023 and go forward.

***

When Mom passed, I can't tell you how many people told me "if you think the first year is bad, just wait for the second year!"  Uhh, scuzi??  Sooo the abject terror, panic attacks, things that need to be settled estate wise, the trauma if they died suddenly or unexpectedly, distribution of their stuff and not finding things you know there's no way in hell they ever would've gotten rid of, and drowning waves of emotion are like, easier somehow?!

Well, not quite.

The Mr and I were basically in survival mode for the first six months.  I say that to mean we did the absolutely minimum to get through the days because doing anything more wasn't in us.  That's not to say at the 6 month mark things got better.  We had legal issues looming as I was going to try to make the people who significantly contributed to her death including her horrible family doctor who completely dismissed all symptoms that should've rang 100 bells, the hospital who let her bleed out 2 liters of blood from them nicking her lung during her biopsy and the rehab center who starved and dehydrated her before having to call the squad to get her out of there.  I had to relive all of her traumatic death all over again through that paperwork, video, etc and in the end because of my people pleasing bullshit to not rock the boat until after a family member was married, it was too late to prosecute.  Even if you don't have all of that to deal with, that year of firsts is basically you just white knuckling through life.  You feel guilty for living, for laughing at something on TV, seeing their favorite food at the store can drop you to your knees as the signs they send you to let you know they're still with you swirl around which are reassuring but not the same as having them here.

You think somehow there will be a relief there getting through that year.  There's a sadness in that too because now you're supposed to be "healed" by society's standards.  If you're sad, someone thinks something else bad happened... your person's death isn't on their radar anymore.  For us, her hospital admittance hit smack in the middle of major house renos.  There was no way we could shower or brush our teeth some days so picking up where we left off on that front was not even fathomable.  About 8 months in for me, I started thinking about opening the Etsy shop and that was a coping mechanism to get me to have something to focus on after our spring vacation to ready myself for the trauma that would be July.  I threw myself into it so I was busy practically 18 hours a day which meant I couldn't think about her even though I still talk to her every night.  Then one day the unfinished baseboards, the half removed balusters and boxes of new balusters with a year's worth of dust on them felt suffocating.  I wanted it done.  I wanted to look around the house and not have these unfinished projects which also reminded me of what happened to her  taunting me anymore.  It felt like the right time to work on them which was also still a distraction.  Essentially, year one is all shock, your brain using any method to protect you it can conjure up and numbness.

Where I think the second year sentiment people share comes in, is then your person isn't there anymore to share the completion of those things.  Mom was excited to see the finished product of our stairs and now she'll never see it.  When I had to strip the paint from the rails and stuff, I felt like I was stripping her away too when I got into it.  She touched those.  She used the post for support and now she was going to be gone.  Same with the carpet on the stairs; some part of her was still there and we were throwing it away - and it hurt.  The bathroom we were remodeling, well, we couldn't have done the conversion without the settling of her estate and while she would be thrilled to know she could help us, I'd shower with a hose and use a 5 gallon bucket for a loo if it meant she was still here.  It feels dirty almost to benefit from someone's passing and it feels just as bad to never be able to show them the end result.   Year two is coming out of the numbness and being slapped with the reality that the previous year was not a nightmare you can wake up from.  This is your reality now whether you want it or not and you're going to feel the loss deeper as year two solidifies it all.

As soon as September hit, which was always the beginning of my favorite time of year, I felt hollow inside.  I was weepy and was reminded we will never get those holiday gatherings that are coming up.  When I would see people who don't decorate or even celebrate much since their kids moved away, parents passed, there's an estrangement or whatever familial fracture happened, I was always so sad and thought "that'll never be me."  I never prepared myself for the day those would end.  Kids grow up and have their own lives but everyone almost always comes home for the holidays or at least has family to call.  Well, Covid changed how we could celebrate, and continues to do that for us unfortunately and because Mom and Grandma are gone- the magic of the holidays is muted.  

Unsaturated.  

Painful.

I don't want to be one of those people.  I didn't ask for this.  None of us did and I'm glad some people still have family other than their spouses to celebrate with but when you're figuratively alone for a lot of reasons, still want that magic but feel like 'what's the point', how the hell do you come back from that??  We don't deserve to, nor would Mom or Grandma want us to harden our hearts for the holidays.  It still feels like yesterday in many ways.  I'm still waiting for her to pop out and say the joke is over.  I'm still waiting for an email that will never come or a phone call that I wonder if it'll be 30 minutes or 3 hours.  I still feel like I'm sitting beside the rotting corpse of my old self in the middle of the desert waiting for something to drive by and take me back to my old life.  I don't want us to make a new life.  I don't want "post traumatic growth".  I don't want new traditions.  I want my f*cking mom back.  I want do overs on things that will apparently haunt me forever.  I want to not be afraid to have the uncomfortable conversations when we both got to a point we didn't want to step on each other's toes or whatever that ended up being.  I want to not have such a thin skin where everything was perceived as a slight and never talk to her about it.  I want to know she had a brain tumor that was starting all the way back in the early 80's and in the final 10 years of her life could've gone a long way to explain her irritability that I took personally because who the hell thinks "gee, maybe she has a brain tumor and that's why she can get snappy sometimes?"  NO. ONE.  Yet I torture myself that I somehow should've known when I know darn well I couldn't have.  I think of all of the ways she was medically failed for decades that enrages me.  

So yeah, the second year ain't no picnic.  It may not be as emotionally devastating as the first because your brain is doing so much to help you survive but those grief bombs are still there waiting for you in music, TV shows, doctor's appointments, therapy appointments, talking to family members, talking to your spouse or just your own brain being reminded of something that sets you off.  Sometimes it's a quick one that you can get over in a few minutes, other times it's a landmine you're tip toeing through for weeks with no end in sight.  I've heard a few say "oh just wait until the third year" and I want to smack them.  What, does everything just get worse every year until your own death?  I get it, okay.  You are irretrievable not who you were before.  A part of your life is always going to suck now and some can move on with the attitude of living life for those who aren't here anymore and bully for them.  Some are in a semi-permanent state of stun that doesn't feel like it's ever going to end no matter how hard you try.  I understand people wanting to prepare you but sometimes that stuff can set up anticipatory expectations for things that you may not even go through.  It ALL sucks in it's own way.  All we can do is be there for each other.  To say when someone loses someone close to you "um, this sucks hard and there are a million ways this is going to suck worse believe it or not that you can't even fathom yet.  I am here for you and I empathize.  I'm always ready to hear a story or be a shoulder to cry on so I hope you don't mind me checking in on you."  Lord knows the check in's stop way sooner by most people than you can even imagine.  Those offers of 'let me know if there's anything I can do' are just like...the worst.  No one in a snotting, hyperventilating state is going to be like "can you go get me some take out, I literally can't move?  Cut my lawn?  Do my laundry?" or whatever needs done.  The onus shouldn't fall on the griever to be a burden and take someone up on it just so they can hear that sigh of regret when they take them up on their well intentioned offer.  

This all sucks.

Period.

What was the hardest year for you after someone you loved passed?

  

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***

If you or someone you know is going through a grief process, you may find these resources given to me by a friend helpful:

Crisis Text Line or text 741741

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (or call 988)

Speak Grief

Heal Grief

Books I'm currently reading:

It's OK That You're Not OK (Meeting Grief & Loss in a Culture that Doesn't Understand)

How to Carry What Can't Be Fixed

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What I'm Reading This Week #47

Heidi ho party people!  I hope your week has been productive and you're starting to get all of your holiday niblets together since Thanksgiving is next week somehow.  Well, I'm trying to remember what I told you last on the bathroom front.  Hang on and let me check...please hold.  Oh my.  I have a bit to catch you up on if anyone is out there.  So as I was taking a shower, I was looking at the corner and I'm like 'you've got to be kidding me.'  We have subway tile walls and guess what...the grout lines don't line up.  I sent it to the Mr who sent it to the project manager saying the grout lines don't line up and followed it with this gif:

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You have to know that is COMPLETELY out of character for him and friggin' HILARIOUS even though the situation was anything but.  He said he would talk about what they want to do and would get back to us.  In the meantime, the Mr called the manufacturer at my suggestion because I 1) wanted to know our options with the base and cap that was the only problem we knew of before that and 2) what the timeline would be to get someone out here.  He talks to someone who is very nice and you can tell is shaking his head about the whole thing like "what a bunch of idiots!"  So he said the problem was while the base could be repaired, the ceiling cap couldn't because it needs to be epoxied and it can't be applied upside down.  The only way it could be fixed is by slapping a piece of trim over the scratches. Great.  Oh and the timeline for the base repair was going to be 3-6 WEEKS.  

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At that point since the news couldn't get much worse, I told him to ask about how to fix the grout lines not matching up and he was like 'we template them so the lines match, I don't know how that would happen."  (aka- 'did you hire monkeys?')  He said the only way to fix it now would be to again, put a piece of trim in the corner (cove molding) and hope it breaks up the lines enough your eye can't see the mistake or sledgehammer it all out.  (This is stone, not acrylic.)  We thanked him for the info and grabbed a piece of cove molding we had laying around and put it in the corner.  Nope.  It doesn't "break it up" enough for the optical illusion to work.  We took an hour to process because honestly we couldn't even put together thoughts at that point and were drafting a reply when I got one from the project manager saying they all discussed it and he reached out to the manufacturer who told them 3-6 weeks for a repair which is unacceptable especially if they go to fix it and find they need to reorder it all again anyway.  (I'm sure he pooped his pants when the guy he talked to there (whom we gave the order number to) likely said "oh yeah, the homeowner called us.")  So they will be sledgehammering out everything they've done thusfar.  It was like it didn't happen at all except now they could potentially do more damage to new fixtures installed, pipes, not to mention the noise will be 100x worse.  We have ZERO timeline on this now.  When we went on our walk that night we tried to convey how each of us were feeling and it oddly is very close to finding out something like a death or accident has happened because we both said we felt that gut wrenching familiarity of survival mode that kicked in brain wise.

Yeah, it's been a week and I'm as tired of saying it as you are of hearing it and I know that because like 30 people have stopped by this week.  

Now let's hear about:

These 'Comfort Foods' Are Physically Making Your Stress Levels Worse  (Soo all of it?  Grab a piece of celery because that's about the only thing not on the list)

3 Quick Hacks to Stop Overreacting With Your Partner  (Gee, I don't do this at all)

8 Steps for Making a Healthier Charcuterie Board  (It's snicky snack season!  So load this baby up and be the holiday or game day hero.)

Feel Out Of Control Around Food? The Reasons Why May Surprise You  (Or not)

What's the Best Breakfast for Weight Loss? The Answer May Be Different for Men and Women  (Interesting stuff but if one more person says I need protein only for breakfast I'm going to scream.  I will eat my hand in 2 hours if I have protein only.)

Patients Are Suing Over Alleged Side Effects of Weight-Loss Drugs  (I'm about to have a little tirade.  This very thing is the reason we "don't just do Ozempic."  A quick search of side effects list thousands of people's stories of now needing a feeding tube due to stomach paralysis and other horrible side effects.  People are so trusting of ignorant doctors, many of whom are in bed with drug companies (take a look around the room next time you're there) or they don't look up potential side effects or think they don't apply to them.  Read this story and never let some asshole doctor tell you what hers did.  If you were fine before a medication and not fine after, logic says the med is the first thing to cut.)

What's The Deal With All The Food Recalls And Outbreaks Lately?  (I've been wondering the same thing!)

64 Reminders if You're Filled With Holiday Dread  (For my grievers)

Research: Wash Your Hands Immediately After Touching These 10 Things  (For real.  The world is a germy trash heap)

30 Everyday Objects You’re Using All Wrong  (Didn't know that about bobby pins and I'm not doing that with my iron.)

How to Remove Soap Scum—7 Proven Methods  (Have a new shower installed? 😜)

Miss a post here this week?  Catch up below:

Twilight Zone Weekend Recap

My Psychology Behind Gift Giving

I don't know what happened but out of nowhere, this listing really hit the mark somewhere and I've sold one a day for the past week.  

If it's something you, a friend or your therapist would like for a holiday gift, swing on by!  There's also a t-shirt and an iced coffee sipper glass available as well. 

I think we may try to do an attic hatch insulation if the stuff I ordered arrives in time.  Jealous?

What exciting adventures do you have planned for the weekend?

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My Psychology Behind Gift Giving

I have a ton of posts that pop up on IG that give gift ideas.  A lot of them are ideas for gift baskets stuffed full of thoughtful, like themed items including thrifted items so it's not a bank buster.  While they look nice, all I can't help but think is "great, a basket full of crap I didn't ask for that I'm going to have to donate and they wasted their money."  It's not that I don't appreciate the thought behind it but coming from my background where money was tight or Mom had to work a few jobs, the biggest thing that gets to me is people wasting money on things I know I'll never use.  (And frankly, I don't have the space to keep things anymore out of guilt.)  

I remember I used to do family gifts for relatives and I would put together something like movie passes and candy or a board game that looked like fun with accoutrements.  When I saw the board game in a garage sale the following year, that was that for my going the extra mile on what I thought would be good gifts.  While it hurt pretty bad at the time, I get it now.  They didn't have room for a board game they didn't ask for knowing they weren't going to try a different way to spend time together.  It's nice to want to give people something but how many mugs stuffed with candy or random candles that make them sneeze can someone take?  There's a point where a gift can become a bummer if it's not actually personal to the people.  Here are some ideas that don't take up a lot of space, are thoughtful and will be much appreciated.  

When we were kids we circled our toys in the wish books or ads but when I started Amazon lists or links, it was like "where's the surprise in that?"  Um...I do not like money wasting surprises.  If I don't give specifics, I end up with a wrought iron pineapple and a sequined hula girl purse because "you like Hawaii."  (And trust me, they notice when you don't have the pineapple out.)  I'm here to plant some psychological seeds in your head so you're known as the super thoughtful gift giver!

Let's start with people you may not know as well.  Maybe it's a co-worker, your mail person, your dog groomer, etc. but it's that person that you have a bit of a surface relationship with.  Everyone will likely love these:

Gift Cards:

Amazon

Target

Walmart

Etsy

Gas Card 

VISA gift card

Seriously, no more than that unless you know something very specific about their tastes.  (Like if you know they drink coffee, don't assume they want Starbucks.  Some people prefer Peets or Caribou or a local shop because they want to support local.  This is why sticking with something broader usually works best.)

Let's move up to the people you know a little better but I want you to ask yourself something first.  How well do you really know them?  More importantly, do you know the current version of them?  I know someone who liked those SnoCap candies and for some reason that always stuck with me.  I grabbed them a box and they said "oh gosh, I haven't had these in ages!"  (I assume code for, "I'll pop one if I open it at all then chuck them but thanks.")   Want another example?  The Mr's family had this tradition with his grandma who loved those Harry and David pears.  Everyone always got a box and of course we sent his mom some over the years until we found out she used to get so many that she'd start giving them out to other people.  Well those things are way too expensive to have her giving our gift to other people.  Then she got the idea that giving the Mr a box would mean as much to him as it did to her and despite knowing I don't like them she'd send 8-12 of them.  They would be hard as rocks for most of the time then ripen within 3 days of each other and he'd have to scarf as many as he could or throw them away.  He FINALLY got her to stop sending them then his oldest brother he has no relationship with decided to send them after an attack of guilt.  We specifically told him we weren't going to be home and he sent them anyway so we had a friend of mine come to pick them up and we said he could have them because we wouldn't be home in time to eat them.  The brother stopped sending them after realizing his guilt pears went to some rando.  So make sure it's something the people can use or want, in the appropriate amount, and make sure they'll be home to receive it if you're sending a gift.  Most purposely don't advertise when they're going out of town, don't add to their stress by having a package on their porch advertising they're gone.

So how do you find out what people like?  If you know they're on Facebook or some form of social media, you can see who they follow.  People usually follow restaurants, local stores they like, etc so you could always do a little digging that way.  If you run in the same circles or know someone who knows them better, ask for their suggestion.  You also need to keep a sharp ear out.  Little hints unknowingly dropped in conversations are good intel to tuck away (jot it down if you've got your phone on you.)  Be stealthy too because if I say I like Life Savers, what *I* mean is one roll of butter rum life savers which are almost impossible to find.  What it would mean to the Mr is he likes cherry life savers and if you got us the variety pack, I'd pick out two flavors from it and chuck the rest or eat them out of guilt and he'd eat one flavor he really likes and settle for the other flavors even though he doesn't like them.  Then we'd both feel crappy about ourselves for eating the ones we don't even like and start a cycle of self hatred of not being able to control ourselves around food.  See the difference?  I like bang for my buck and to show I'm paying attention.  If you want to be stealthy and ask for their suggestions for something for 'yourself.'  "Hey, I'm in a tea/coffee rut, what are your favorites?"  

If you flat out don't want to screw around, send them the following message:

"I'm updating my list of favorites for people and it's your turn!  

Favorite restaurants

Favorite beverages (specific coffee, tea, flavors, etc)

Favorite stores (websites, big and local ones)

Favorite candies or snacks

Favorite brand of candles, scents, etc

Any others you want to pass along!"

I hope that's given you a good starting point to think about gift giving from a different perspective.  Many people have limited space and making sure they get what they actually want or need will make sure they have a happier holiday!

How do you determine gifts for the people on your list?

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Twilight Zone Weekend Recap

Hello Monday, you saucy beeotch.  Here we are again.  Well, this recap is definitely much different than I thought it would look.  Matter of fact, I jinxed it last week by pre-writing the first part of what I anticipated we would have done and that drastically changed, as you know, by Thursday.  Friday the day was an absolute chaotic trip to the Twilight Zone.

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We had three dudes total from the bathroom project coming in and out doing productive stuff like reading the adhesive bottle for the first time and realizing their skin will peel off if they get any on their hands, lollygagging in between skim coats, the little dude telling the Mr it was safe to turn on and test the water before it was and freaking out the dude who knew a little more but was going to leave us with an untested shower.  Then it was time for the HOA roofer dude to join the party but you know, not do anything because it was misty outside.  The bathroom people were done by noon and said to give it 24 hours to cure so no showering until noon on Saturday.  The Mr and the roofer dude were chatting it up so the bathroom dudes left and said "we're done" to which my mental self retorted "the hell you are" but I know he's really just on plumbing and drywall so he probably thought he was done.  (Until the other dudes come back to install the niches and doors and crack into the walls some more and need to have them repatched again.)  The house was quite stinky the rest of the day from all of the caulk and joint compound so it was fan city.  

Upon further inspection before our nightly walk, the mook didn't skim coat all the way to the new wall so, to us, that is not done.  The Mr texted the project manager who was supposed to have gotten back to us with the solution by midday and that piece of paper they call a shower curtain wasn't it.  He said he contacted the manufacturer and they are going to get back to him about when they can send someone out to repair the base and cap.  Fine.  Then TELL US THAT.  Keep us in the damn loop.  The Mr also conveyed this mistake has completely screwed our timeline as we can't do anything else to put together a working bathroom or order countertops until they do their part.  

The other thing that fills us with dread is the doors.  They're frosted and sitting unopened in the garage which by the way we can't use because of it.  We desperately want to look at them so if there is an issue, they can reorder them now but we also know then the liability is on us because they can say we scratched it, so we can't.  It's like all of the bad parts of the kitchen experience didn't come back to us until the guy who ruined the cap and base walked in.  He was the weak link then and four years later that hasn't changed.  They are not dealing with the same people they were four years ago so shizz will get ugly and mama never wrote her kitchen review so give me ammunition to write both.  I've been running on no more than 3-4 hours of sleep per night for 5 weeks and this situation just reinforces that behavior until we're the ones back in control.

Saturday we were both crawling out of our skin to get out of the house.  Time for a half day's drive for some Portillo's.

We stopped by Cinnaholic too which is always a favorite and then to walk a bit of it off, we stopped by a favorite park to go on a big ol' loop.

We picked up three geocaches while we were in Indianapolis adjacent territory.  It's always nice to get a few in and add to our total.  

It was a much needed mental health day and home was the last place we wanted to be.  We told the grocery store who refused to move our pickup time even though they were already working on it to shove it and we got it on the way back and picked up dinner while the Mr watched his recorded football game and I got extra steps by hopping on the floor bike to get to 10,000 for the day.  I also had to suck down some water because I was TERRIBLE at it last week at the worst possible time with the vein procedure.  I have a crappy habit of platelet built up so I should've had more liquid moving through my shrinking veins.  I was religious about wearing my doc prescribed thigh high hose to keep the compression up top.  I started taking full strength aspirin so it could nip any issues in the bud so she doesn't try to tell me anything looks weird at the follow up.

Sunday I think the irritations of the week(s) were setting in.  I'm tired of brushing my teeth over a toilet or shower.  I'm tired of washing my hands in the shower.  Tired of having to settle for crap because someone else might screw it up like the crap caulking job they did before they left but the Mr thinks they'll scratch stuff trying to remove it.  So I guess I have that to look forward to in a few years to do myself because that portion of our 11K doesn't cover them doing caulking right.  My Aldi order is for today instead of yesterday which I didn't know when I placed it Saturday.  I was waiting on the new shower curtain (because words can't express the suck that is the one they provided us) and when I ordered it it said it would be ready at one time but it kicked out to the following day.  Knowing there's only one day the roofer dude can do anything this week (today) because the rest of the week is all rain which is fine with me but not conducive to people working on the roof.  Radon people are coming out tomorrow and we've gotta pay for that and I *really* feel like they didn't install the top right but I'm sure there will be some dumbass excuse as to why them resting it against the gutter is just fine.  We got our nicer temporary shower curtain and the Mr put that up.  While I folded sheets and got them straight into the new sheet storage sleeves.  Then I went into the bathroom and whilst sitting and looking around, I glance up and I see dents in the ceiling that were not there before they came in to do the install and my blood just started boiling.  I could hear the Mr thumping around in the office and when I came out, he was standing there with a broken ceramic turtle we got in Hawaii many years ago that we always loved.  It didn't occur to us that they would be using the multi-tool for some reason and things fell off of the shelves when they were vibrating the entire wall.  We just didn't think and we paid the price with something sentimental to us.  We have to find what was inside which includes a set of directions the Mr's dad had given us on our way to visit them in NY over 20 years ago.  I'm just so angry about why this crap is constantly happening to us with damage, disrespect to our property, etc.  They will be skim coating the entire ceiling and sanding it.  We're both fuming.  To work some of my fury off, I did the floor bike for over 10K steps.

Today I go back for my follow up ultrasound and I can tell you that I know it was working because there was a freaky ass red inflammation bruise 36 hours later where you could see my entire vein across my thigh.  It dissipated after but it freaked out both the Mr and I.  After they make sure all is well there, they will do my FINAL vein today in my calf.  (The one that prompted me to even do this so of course it's last.  😒)  Then I will hopefully only have to do the bottom calf high compression hose which is a lot more comfortable and I have a few pairs of toeless ones I can wear to bed tonight since it'll be a 36 hour stretch day one.  Then I'll have the immediate follow up Wednesday and my final follow up on the 4th which I moved up by two weeks because if something is going to happen, it would likely be that first two weeks and I want this (and everything else) DONE.

How was your weekend?

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What I'm Reading This Week #46

It's finally Friday y'all!  What a friggin' week.  We've been stuck in such limbo for 7 weeks that finally getting the tub to shower conversion done seemed like this hazy dream goal that was promised but never going to happen and we were right.  

The majority of day one was listening to demo chaos and my face looking like this:

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Nothing like hearing the multi-tool ripping off your walls and chiseling out your tub out and of course it was right over our heads whilst trying to work.  (To the point I didn't even bother because it was too distracting.)  That project was the cornerstone of us being able to move forward with everything else that we were hyped up to do almost 2 months ago.  Our first 'gift' was them putting a 2" gash in the bathroom door that I wasn't planning on repainting until well into next year.  So we had to take it off of the hinges and lean it in the hallway.  Yeah, the girl who doesn't even want the Mr on the same floor as her when she poops under normal circumstances now has no bathroom door on the loo.  😳

Then it was time to go get my veins pumped full of solvent to dissolve them and wear my sexy compression ho.  (One leg so no hose.)  We chatted about the reno while she worked on the thigh vein and said she was thinking of doing the same thing in her kid's bathroom.  When I told her it was $11K I instantly saw her butt pucker and she was like "woah!!  I had no clue it would be that much!"  I told her I know it's a lot of money but it's only going to get more expensive.  At least that's what we tell ourselves.  

Before I recap how the whole thing went, let's jump into:

Micro-Walks’ May Have a Big Impact on Your Health, Study Finds (This is a super small study but this is an amount everyone can easily do)

Why we should ‘lift heavy’ as we get older  (Or lift at all.  We've been horrible about it for months now.)

13 High-Protein Soup Recipes That Are Hearty, Comforting, and So Satisfying. (Gotta love soup season!)

The #1 Habit to Break to Reduce Visceral Fat, According to Dietitians  (I know, I know!)

Here’s Why It’s So Impossible to Get Reliable Diet Advice From the News  (So basically everything you just read here was for nothing! 😂) 

Never Worry About Dusting Tall Shelves Again By Reusing Old Newspaper. (I do this on top of the fridge or you can go this route if you want something washable.)

How to Avoid Soggy Bottoms—and 6 More Pie-Baking Mistakes, According to Pros  (Because no one likes a soggy bottom.  *Looks in mirror*)

Is it Rude To Ask A Guest To Take Their Shoes Off?  (Let me break this down for you in a way I didn't understand until we rented from a lady in San Francisco 14 years ago who was militant about no shoes in the house.  She had signs up about not bringing the "grime of the city" inside.  Translation?  You've been walking in human and animal urine/ feces, same with spit, snot and vomit but diluted whether you know it or not.  Don't forget oils, solvents, squished berries, bugs, dirt from your walks/hikes and 100 other things you don't see or think of.  If you think you need to live in a big city for that to apply, you're wrong.  Get a boot tray to put by the door when company comes with one pair of shoes on it.  If they're not total idiots, they should get the hint)

How to Get Rid of Sentimental Items Without Feeling Guilty  (This can be hard to do whether it's your own stuff or things you inherited)

The Correct Way To Measure Board And Batten Walls For Your DIY  (In case anyone is planning winter or spring to do updates)

Any Cure fans out there?  Check out this ad free concert Robert and the gang released last week!

If anyone is interested in the Grief at the Holidays webinar the Mr and I attended, here's the replay link.  There's also a workbook of sorts with the writing prompts she used if you prefer to go that route.

Miss some posts here this week?  Catch up below!

You've Got to Be Kidding Me Weekend Recap

Hump Day Poll: Indoor vs Outdoor?

Holiday Hostess with the Mostest

Now to round up the reno in short by last night.  Well uh...I don't know how to break it to you as we're still processing this ourselves.  They scratched the base of the shower and the ceiling cap yesterday...DEEP.  We could hear them forcing panels in and finally giving up to cut them.  Here's a sample of a disturbing chat I had with the Mr yesterday whilst said forcing was happening as we sat 12' from each other:

The Mr took pics of the damage and sent it to the project manager who thankfully called us back within 5 minutes falling all over himself apologizing.  We are having a "temporary solution" of a shower rod today so we have our only working shower and they're going to try a scratch kit and if it looks like crap then it all needs replaced.  Keep in mind that we can't do ANYTHING ELSE with our bathroom (flooring, wallpaper, vanity, etc until their part is done and we've already made it clear we didn't pay for scratch and dent.

So yeah.  We're breaking out the wine FOR SURE.  We both effing give up.  It's been a while since I've seen the Mr that close to tears of anger.

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It's time to get your Christmas shopping on.  I've got some stuff in the shop for your introverts and pet lovers as well as holiday gear for you!

  Socially Selective Mug -Cat Lover Candle- Most Likely to Spoil the Grandkids Shirt- 

In the Mooood for Christmas Baby Cow Shirt- I'm Fine Tangled Lights Shirt-Feelin' Jolly Shirt

What is on your plate for the weekend?  Enjoy yours a little extra for us!

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Holiday Hostess with the Mostest

Are you the house everyone gathers at for the holidays, the big game and the best thing you invested in was a ton of folding chairs to accommodate everyone?  No?  How about this?  Do you like to do little spreads for you and your honey whether it's the holidays or not?  I've got some pretty cool finds that will help keep hot stuff hot, cold stuff cold and your schedule hummin'.  

Rollable & Portable Electric Warming Tray

If you don't want to keep the stove on to keep things warm while everyone eats, this roll up heating tray is awesome to keep bowls of mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls or whatever you fancy.  This is also good if you're traveling and you can plug it in and make sure the dish you bring stays piping hot.  (How I wish I had this in the family gathering days so my stuffing stayed warm.)

Lazy Susan Food Turntable

If you have a big ol' table that you usually have to carefully place side dishes where you can.  Put this in the middle, put your taters, mac and cheese, cheeseball and other goodies on each pad and then rotate the pad to either side to move the next dish in front of you.  Pretty cool!!

Chilled 5 Compartment Condiment Server Caddy with Hinged Lid

Nobody likes warm crudité veggies to nosh on while people arrive.  Make sure that never happens again with this nifty serving caddy!  Put ice in the bottom and keep the cold stuff cold and covered because you KNOW someone is showing up with some creeping crud they'll try to share. 

Pie, Cake, Dessert Travel & Storage Container

If your peeps are all about the cakes and pies for the holidays, this pie safe is adjustable to fit pies, cakes, cupcakes, tarts and the like.  It fits for normal sized pies and has a door to keep them all dog hair, dust and cooties free while they're waiting on you to dig in!  Order early on this one as it's not two day delivery.

Lifewit Insulated Double Casserole Carrier Thermal Lunch Tote

This thing is a God send not only if you're traveling and bringing sides/desserts but it can be used to keep things warm while you're using the oven.  (Like keep cooked rolls in here or stuffing if you still need to use the oven.)  Truly one of the best things I own.

Four-Event Digital Timer with Whiteboard 

I'm SO getting this for cookie baking day because I'm always having to write down what timer is for what between the oven and microwave.  This could be a God send for baking day, the actual holiday, game day, etc.  I have other Taylor products so I hope this one is as good.

I have to say I really wish we had enough people to justify that centerpiece plate spinner thingy because that looks so cool!  😁  I hope these have given you some cool ideas for holiday entertaining to help make the day run a little smoother.  Lord knows we all need a little help whether it's two people or twenty!

Do any of these look appealing to you?

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Get posts sent straight to your inbox on Follow It. Some posts may contain affiliate links that help keep this blog running at no cost to you.  See the Disclaimer page for more info. All posts copyright Success Along the Weigh. All rights reserved.