Run Ragged Weekend Recap

Well hello there!  So happy to see you!  Did you have a good weekend?  All fired up and ready to work your brain into burnout for the week?  😂  I don't know about y'all but around these parts weekends are warp speed these days and somehow even when we're watching some show, I'm still working so I never actually get a break anymore.  I've been up until 2am the past week trying to jump ahead on some things here but still waking up at 6:30 so not great for sleep at all.  I'm basically not weighing in all of August.  I am still working out and eating right 6 days a week, looking to add the bike back in this week.  There are going to be two weekends where a few extra days will be looser on the eating and honestly, I am not up for watching the scale bounce.  Of course, if you're me, you somehow worked your butt off all of July which was the most stressful month ever and managed to gain two pounds for your efforts.  So I'm entering "eff you scale" August for my mental health.  (And don't think that's not a struggle as well.  It's all I've done weekly for 15 years.)

We did a little ritual for the people we love that have passed before working on the railing.  We wrote their names, dates and a message on the railing so they will always be here.  

It's something small but it feels like a way to ensure they stay a part of this house even when I had to scrape them away for prepping the surfaces.  Speaking of which, do you have any idea how maddening it is to go through the time and shoulder pain of scraping 8 layers of original 90's blonde shellac covered by layers of chalk paint and wax only to have to repaint the whole thing with liquid wood to prepare it for even staining and it dries the color of the original 90's blonde?  (God chuckles)  Also right before finally relaxing Saturday night, the Mr was asking about the half wall at the top of the stairs which has also been a poop cabaret so I started scraping the last little bit it needed and realized for any chance at even staining, I was likely going to have to slap liquid wood on it too because of one teeny part.  Blarg.  I don't know what I did, like if I knocked it or what but my ring finger knuckle on the right side felt really sore to the touch.  I couldn't tell if I cut it or something but it didn't seem to clear up overnight so yay, another body ailment to keep my eye on.

Oh and for anyone in therapy, am I the only one who gets radio silence from boomers when you mention it?  (I say boomers because I have no one left from the previous generation, it's not an insult.  Love me some boomers, yo.)  I find it real interesting that the generations above you that are half the reason you're there will consistently talk about every subject in an email reply except the longest paragraph having to do with therapy.  And please, no one defend that by saying "they didn't talk about those things" because I know that but I also know it literally takes one line of saying "I'm so happy you are excited for your therapy journey!"  That's it.  That's all it takes.  Instead, your consistent radio silence on the matter is going to have to be a future subject, that'll be $15 please.  

Sunday morning the Mr grabbed grocery pickup and I reluctantly rolled out of bed ready to tackle the bazillion tasks awaiting me.  I sanded the two layers I had on the railing and put on a third and fourth coat in some places.  As soon as I had two coats on the front of the rail, it promptly shit the bed.

Those would be marks from the previous balusters that had been wood filled, sanded flat and had zero reason to be there, yet there they were and no amount of stain was going to cover them.  I essentially stopped at two coats because I didn't have it in me after our leg day workout to do one more friggin' thing with it.  I know what I have to do if it's what I had to do with the basement rail and I have to PRAY it works because if it doesn't, we are screwed.

I felt really bad because I didn't intend on working on anything but the house Saturday, got into the "one more design" mentality that has plagued me since June and every time I went to stop, I beat myself up how it's not getting views, I'm wasting my time, ignoring my husband which feels shitty and this will never bring in any kind of money for us, blah blah blah.  I ended up doing the same thing throughout the day Sunday and it feels really crappy to work myself to the bone with zero reward.  I know this can be part of the early days but there's also so much competition and it's so hard to even get noticed when the algorithm won't even pick you up.  I just have to keep throwing myself into it and hope for the best.

How was your weekend?

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