Another "Holiday of Firsts" in the Books Weekend Recap

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I know, I didn't do a weekend update again but it was just a somewhat crappy one and I didn't have it in me to do one Sunday night.  I think I've mentioned it before that when I get overwhelmed, I have dreams about tornados.  Well, I had two and since I wasn't taking action to acknowledge them, on Thursday my body said "fine...maybe you'll pay attention to a room spinning panic attack!"  It sucked bad and I had to hold onto the shower before my chiro appointment and I had to have the Mr drive me.  I made a list of the things swirling in my head at any random time and I was able to name 24 off the top of my head.  Some small, some large, some unfinished projects from last year that feel like they'll never get done.    It did help to write those things down and acknowledge the things weighing on me.

Friday, I started doing a bit of cleaning.  I am someone already overwhelmed on a good day.  Throw grief, other things on top of it and random crap and I just want to pull the covers over my head.  I feel like I'm failing every day.  One project seems to have a ripple effect to others.  "These things need a home...well, their new home would be here but these things need cleaned out/rearranged before those can go there and these things require me to be on my feet for a long time which then blow out my legs and I need them to do workouts."  On top of that is about 3-4 bins of Mom's stuff that I have to find permanent homes for in a space that had NO ROOM for someone else's extra stuff.  I'm not trying to be an ass but anyone who has been through a parent's death knows what I mean.  It all feels like problems that will never be solved.  I wanted to at least have a table to eat on when we had our pithy little Easter lunch/dinner so I got to work on that and in the kitchen.  Nowhere near where I would've liked it to be but good enough for us.  I worked until my legs waved the white flag.  The Mr helped in the kitchen.  When I say it's been months, I mean the Sleigh Rides sign was still over our fireplace and neither of us cared enough to say "maybe that should come down?"  The most I made was my cheeseball because everything else was just mac and cheese or open something and heat.  

We did our Easter on Saturday so we'd have an extra day to work it off.  I had zero weight loss but I also wasn't surprised about it because I did the shockwave the night before and my legs were swollen the next day from it.  Note to self, no shockwave the day before weigh in.  Sigh. I did share my brain swirl list with the Mr and he thanked me for sharing it with him and it was helpful to know it was more than the blanket assumption of grief.  Oh no sir, I have room for multiple modalities of self torture!   We ate way more sweets than we should have as we do every year to the point of wanting to yarf.  We went on a walk at the old park with inclines and stuff.  I wanted to take my new OrthoFeet shoes for a spin.  I really think Brooks did something to their base sole that totally screwed up my feet.  When I put on old Echelon 8's from Saucony's, the heel drop was MUCH less and initially felt better so I went to get some.  Of course they don't have my size in the old version so I went to get the new version and saw they turned the Echelon 9's into a ROCKER shoe which is what initially screwed up my feet to begin with!  (Many shoes are going this route which SUCKS!)  The OrthoFeet are the closest looking to flat soled shoes I can find.  It pulls on my calves but I need to elongate them and I can't be over padding my feet like so many people do.  They got a little more comfy the more I walked but still had the usual pain the rest of the night.  So hopefully with more walks, the gams will get used to them.  I also got a slant board.  I used to use one when I did PT back in 2016 so I made a crude one for home that I use after workouts.  But I thought if I could use one that had adjustable notches, I could work up to the maximum dorsiflexion on my ankles to stretch out the calves.  Definitely something I need to keep up with for life.  Then we got sucked into the Peacock series Apples Never Fall.

Sunday we didn't even utter 'happy Easter' to each other that I can recall.  The neighbors were in rare form on both sides of us and I yelled I needed to GTF out of the house.   We drove to my old elementary school (while it still stands) and talked about a lot of heavy, not fun stuff for a while.  Then when we came home we did LIIFT 4 Legs which really took its toll on me the next day.  Yeesh!  Then we had dinner and later went up to head bob to some Autopsy shows because that's how we roll.  

Yesterday was no picnic either.  Some family stuff that just makes me feel sad and like life blows off another limb and tells me to swim yet again.  (One of those things you don't realize how it affects you until it does and suddenly the nails you worked so hard to grow back out are gone.)  Then I ended up getting my time wrong for my chiro appointment and they called me 15 minutes after the time and I had to haul ass down the street.  He didn't even notice but he seems glad I got the slant board and he got a good pop out of my ankle.  He said he can feel the muscle a bit better too so I just need the pain to back off and get everything all evened out...some year.  I can tell you the day after leg day that yesterday wasn't it!

How was your weekend?  Did you do anything for the holiday?

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