Struggle Bus Midweek Check In

Happy hump day everyone!  I hope your week is going well.  

Y'all.  I don't know what da heck is up with this week but it can kiss my dimpled azz.  Saturday just really got to me and Sunday was the first time in 5 weeks I didn't drink my 25 oz water before getting out of bed.  It set a tone because I didn't reach my water goal for the day either which was about 30% less than it should've been.  I didn't do my bike that day either, which is optional Sunday anyway but still.  Monday wasn't a whole lot better on the water front coming in at about 80% of my goal.  That was mammogram day for me and vein day for him.  I had to laugh at the tech who was 67 years old and politely let me know she wasn't going to do the amount of pressure I requested and how she never heard of such a thing.  Really?  Have you heard of unnecessary callbacks, lady?  Have you been on the receiving end of them twice and gone through the death spiral for a few days??  But that's not why I laughed though.  She told me I've obviously lost weight since the last time I was there which I knew that wasn't true and said "why do you say that?"  She said the contour of my boobs were different and showed me the difference from last year to this year.  Well my sweet friend, after checking, I'm actually up 13 lbs from last year so time for you to head to the eye doctor.  (The sneak peek at the comps allowed me to see all is well on that front.)  I'm guessing it was the droopy arm fat area that really gave her the tip off but its less desirable to say "I see you have a built in bat suit from weight loss."

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I didn't do the bike that day either. I think in my head, I felt like "you busted your ass doing it every day last week burning 1000 calories a day total and you see what that got you... nothing."  Positive attitude of a lifelong dieter.  😜  I knew I was at the top of a slippery slope if I didn't get it together and I think reading all of these stories of people getting their 8-10,000 steps in and having weight melt off but of course not me just pissed me off.  

What also pissed me off was the neighbor is going through a slam phase coming off of a 3 week quieter (for him) phase.  In addition, some new ho is walking around urgently in shoes in the bedroom that backs up to our living room.  My anxiety is through the roof and I was barely able to get more than 3 hours sleep for 4 nights in a row which I know also heavily contributes to cortisol and holding onto weight.  Monday night was the first time I had to wear earplugs in both ears because he slammed so hard around midnight that my adrenaline shot through the roof just as I was about to go to sleep from exhaustion.  Not to say I got a stellar night's sleep after a 2:40am pee break and spent an hour or so getting back to a light sleep but maybe an hour to 90 minutes better than the night before.  I even made sure I drank herbal tea at dinner but I don't know, I may not be able to drink anything with dinner anymore or start eating earlier I guess.

The Mr's vein procedure went well so he's wearing his Frank N. Furter stocking.  They had to pivot from what they intended on doing since he's going to need a touch up spot with the RF stuff first to better close a spot that had an undisclosed blood clot.  Then they'll go back in the coming weeks with the foam.  That's a big boy too so really hoping all goes well on that for him because the only other option is vein removal which he doesn't want to do.

Another "fun" mental leveler from the weekend was seeing pictures of a family member putting together their centerpieces for their wedding using flowers Mom bought.  That was her project.  She was supposed to be there and was looking forward to it.  I've gotta admit, it stings a little that I'm not asked to be involved in any capacity on it.  I offered and it was accepted that I would finish the project that Mom started for the bridal shower.  I asked about it three times so I wouldn't be in a rush situation and when it would be the only thing not answered in emails, I stopped asking.  I told Mom I tried and whatever happens with it, happens.  It was brought up last week and how much Mom already had done so her sib was going to finish it.  Well, that's great but did you ever think maybe I wanted to finish what she started??  You get to finish everything else you guys started for the wedding.  It just feels like we don't belong and no one wants us included anymore. 

So yeah, that's where I am this week.

Is the week treating you any better?

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