Midweek Check In from the Wagon

I feel ya, Kermie!

Ahh, there's nothing like getting back 'on the wagon' as you're fighting holiday weight gain along with grief weight gain along with injury recovery.  The first thing is always getting in the right mindset and my Lord, the enthusiasm of the past is just not there because of everything else I'm mentally trying to work through.  

I didn't realize how utterly blown my left shoulder is.  You should have seen me attempt this Fitness Blender upper body workout.  I knew I wanted to go with functional because the pain in my shoulder is hindering my ability to do a whole lot, especially over head.  This happens when I let strength training go for whatever reason and shows me what life would be like without it, which is painful.  It's like my big melon is crushing the joint because that's what I sleep on at night.  I knew to go light at 10 lbs to test where I was but when it came to stuff like front and side raises, holy shit!  I had to go down to 8's and the pain was not pretty.  I know it will get better within a few weeks but it's the rebuilding that sucks.  It also sucks when you break down in tears at the end of the workout bawling in your husband's arms about why have we not conquered this yet?  We were so on our way over 10 years ago.  Yes, we've kept 75-85% of the weight off but we're not in the same boat to be able to lose like we could back then.  It's just frustrating and definitely not something I thought I would still be dealing with if you told 2010 me we wouldn't be remotely close to our personal goal weight.  

The throes of grief put your body through SO. MUCH.  I was a horrible sleeper before but this?  This is just next level crap and the fact I have to sleep with crap in my ear hole because we have asshole neighbors on both sides and brace for slamming or barking dogs 24/7 puts my body in a permanent state of stress and then shovel grief stress on top of it.  My body is conserving like it's storing me up for an impending asteroid.  I've been reading all of these studies about how critical good sleep is for weight loss and I have no idea how to rectify that.  Melatonin does nothing for me (and it's not good to take regularly apparently because your body will stop producing it), NyQuil, Benadryl and all of these non narcotic options people use on occasion have never worked for me.  Even when I was prescribed the equivalent of valium, my body was like "nope."  So I really can't think of a good solution for someone whose hamster is at the ready on the mental wheel anytime.

I began upping my water this week which is good but I've done that before.  I know doing it for a week or two and then slacking isn't going to help me so it's going to be hard to stay on that track.  I think my record is maybe 2 1/2 weeks before I start to slack.  I've been starting the morning chugging my 25 oz water bottle so I can get the ol' system jolted into action.   I'm trying to be better about drinking the Metamucil the doctor has recommended.  (I still don't get why they recommend that when I already get my 100% fiber according to Cronometer.)  Just like with water, it's something I may stick with for a week or two before pooping out even though it's supposed to help me with exactly that.  

A food rut is also a problem.  We've been eating crutch meals for months and the tastebuds are bored.  I did get some Hawaiian Chicken from Aldi over the weekend and I used the sauce as the dressing and added a pepper and a quarter of a zucchini in there and it was quite good.

Even though it was more sodium than I like, I was able to fit it in.  I found a cream cheese chicken chili recipe that sounded amazing and I paired everything down to low salt and made it doable for us and I must say it was damn delicious!

The one thing I need to figure out is how to add more protein in general without adding fat with it since I'm on cholesterol watch now.  So I'm open to ideas if you have any outside the box thoughts on that.

I need to get better about doing plantar fasciitis specific PT.  I go between trying to do enough and not doing too much to overload it and make the pain flair up.  I am being diligent about ultrasounding after dinner as we wind down for the night on both feet to aid healing.  

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to pee for the 757th time.

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