How to Thaw Your Cake Top for Your One Year Anniversary

Some of you may read that and think "what idiot needs a post on how to thaw a cake from the freezer?"  Apparently, these idiots at the ripe ol' ages of 22 and 24.  We're celebrating our 25th anniversary this week and one thing that inevitably has come up are anniversaries past, especially that first one.  On our wedding night, I put the cake top in our side by side freezer for an hour while the Mr and I sat at the dining room table at midnight eating groom's cake and counting the money from our wedding cards.  After the outside had been sufficiently frozen, I wrapped that mofo with probably half a roll of plastic wrap followed by an armor of foil.  It was placed on the bottom shelf in the back with a box of open baking soda beside it so we hopefully wouldn't be eating the aroma of freezer burnt Chicken Voila's and Hot Pockets on our anniversary.

The day before finally arrived.  We carefully unwrapped the cake and were pleasantly surprised to see it looked exactly as it did on our wedding day.  Perfect intact red roses and sweeping white roping.  I couldn't wait to dig in because the Mr and I never got a piece of our own wedding cake that day.  (Don't even get me started on that one.)  So we put it on the counter to thaw but we were worried about dust settling on it as it thawed so the Mr put our biggest mixing bowl over the top to protect it.

The big day was finally here!  I put on my veil for ceremonial purposes, our dog watched on anxiously because she knew food was involved and she might get lucky and we opened our gifts to each other.  Then I told the Mr to bring in the cake from under the bowl.  I hear him lift it up and silence.  Then panicked breathing then "uhhh.  Yeah....soooooo."  "What?" I said with my stomach in knots.  "The icing slid off a little from the condensation, but I can fix it."  I got up and went into the kitchen to see what "slid off a little" meant.  I was horrified.  ALL of the icing on our beautiful cake had slid clean off the cake.  I burst into tears and had to sit down I was so disappointed, pissed, and felt completely doomed.  We weren't meant to EVER have a piece of our wedding cake.  Is this an omen?    The Mr was determined to save the day and fixed it as best he could because he knew I was in no condition to try and that in a fit of rage I would probably turn on the water and throw it in the disposal.  (He would've been right.)  

I think it's best represented in meme form:

(Our cake topper had a feathery 'cloud')

I think you can tell by the grainy screen grab from our ancient one year anniversary video, to say it looked like it had already been eaten and yarfed back up again is an understatement.  That's what we get for our wedding cake...a heap of shit.  Oh we still ate it.  We're fat not stupid, so that didn't go to waste!  Did it still taste good?  Yes but I won't deny I try not to think of this moment often because it still just sucks.  We've even had the bakery remake our cake top for another anniversary but even they don't taste the same so we can never get that back.

If I had it to do over again, I obviously know now that the bowl is where we went wrong.  If we have even sat the bowl on top of the cake with something under the rim to elevate it about 1/2" on all sides, the condensation would've had somewhere to go.  (I haven't tested this but it's my assumption.  Just trust me, leave bowls out of it.)

These would be instructions to me 24 years ago:

1) Remove the cake from the freezer and carefully unwrap the layers of foil and plastic wrap.

2) Place the cake in a disposable cake container to keep out any unwanted dust/smells from the fridge.  Place in fridge to thaw overnight at minimum.

3)  If you want room temperature cake, remove the cake container from the fridge and carefully pop the lid from the locked position.  

4)  Put a spoon, corn cob holders or anything around the edges to give a bit of breathing room.  This should help with the amount of shine on top of the cake frosting when it is thawed.

5)  Cut into a cake that doesn't look like Trash Heap from Fraggle Rock.

(Source)

I would say I have to laugh about it now but it might take another 25 years to get to that point other than a feigned smile.

(Me still when someone says "but that was funny, right?"  Source)

I just thought I would share so some other couple doesn't make the same mistake.  I know...no other couple would but still.  Our life is a lesson for you to learn from sometimes.  

How did you celebrate your first anniversary?

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