Reflective Week of Loss

Howdy do all.  It’s Friday eve and I’m ready for the weekend, I think. 

It’s been a week.  A lot of reflections on some stuff that weighed heavily on me mentally.  Monday, I got a message from my friend it had been a year since her wedding shower.  This is the one who had to cancel her wedding several times.  They’re still not married and at this point, who knows when it’s going to happen.  So she was having a rough day and her birthday is coming up and it’s the first without one of her mom’s care packages so I hope her fiancé steps up for her and that she didn't open my presents early.

That same day while looking at my favorite picture of my grandma and I, I realized it had been 10 years to the day that it was taken.  It was for my birthday celebration and it was the last one we would have dementia free.  The Mr’s birthday celebration 6 weeks later is when we found out.  Recently, the place we had that dinner shut down and I could not be happier because every time we pass it, I am reminded of that horrible news.  I can’t wait until they rip the damn sign down.   

A few hours later I got the news my old co-worker whom I would get together with on occasion with a few other old co-workers for our “ladies’ lunch” passed away.  I remember seeing them for our lunch two days after we buried my grandma in 2018, and I desperately needed the respite for a few hours from all of the funeral and dementia stuff.  It seemed quite obvious to me about 30 minutes into our 3-hour lunch that my friend was in the beginning stages.  Though she was never diagnosed to my knowledge, the details of her passing kind of confirm it to me.  She was unable to convey issues she was having to her husband for 2-3 weeks that ultimately killed her.  I also don’t like when more details of someone passing are revealed than you feel comfortable knowing.  I don’t need to know nitty gritty things or things that they would be embarrassed to have passed from person to person.  I know we all have an innate need to know what happened when someone dies but vague is best and some things are better left private, in my opinion.  (Remember that Mr.  “She was breathing and now she’s not.  The end.”)

(Let me just put this out there for anyone who may have a funeral/viewing situation coming up.  Your attendance during this time is not necessary!  It doesn't mean you loved them less or you're being selfish keeping you and your family safe and more importantly for the asymptomatics, keeping the grieving family safe!  Actually, it's quite selfless.  Send a card or flowers and offer support to the family in ways you can like doing their grocery pickup, leaving food for them after letting them know you're going to do so, etc.  Two of my friends and one family member who knew her are all going to the viewing and all are very high risk themselves or have spouses who are.  I won't gamble with my or the Mr's lives to see people I don't know.  She knew I cared about her and the Mr and I both saw a HUGE sign from her with her unusual name after I made the decision so I think she's okay with it.  I think during this time people feel especially bad for not attending weddings and/or funerals and think that the family will somehow get their undies in a knot over it.  If people can't understand that during a pandemic and the hundreds of stories we've all read about these being spreader events, then that is their problem.  Just in case anyone needed to hear it.)

Back to my friend...

I was glad that I got to see her in February for our final ladies’ lunch.  I remembered thinking then that could be the last time I saw her.  She looked frail and meds she was on had taken her ability to drive.  My heart broke for her but I didn’t think she wouldn’t live to see the Fall.  Her death is hitting me kind of hard even if we weren’t super close.  She came to my bridal shower and I still have her recipe for Cranberry Salad which I haven’t made before but think I will.  I thought I would share it with you guys too in case you’d like an old school recipe as we go into Fall.

Cranberry Salad

2 cups of cranberries
1 ¼ cup water
½ cup sugar
1 box cherry jello (I assume smaller box)
¾ cup chopped celery
½ cup nuts of your choice
½ cup diced apple
½ cup crushed pineapple

Add cranberries and water to a large saucepan and cook until berries pop.  Then add sugar and cook for 5 minutes over medium heat.  Pour in dry jello and stir then let cool.  Add celery, nuts, apple and pineapple and stir to combine.  Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve.

I totally can’t vouch for that but what else do you have to do?  LOL

Lest you think the week was a whole cluster, the Mr was kind enough to get me flowers for my birthday yesterday!

I also opened gifts that I saved back from my bestie that day 

and I worked in a way to have a bundtlet without wrecking the calorie bank so I was happy about that.  

I made a kick ass birthday dinner that the Mr helped with.  Filet mignon, sweet potatoes and blister sugar snap peas.  I'll post pics of dinners on Friday.  Then we chilled the rest of the night and it was much needed.

How is your week going?  

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