Thursday, December 21, 2017

Make It Stop



So many Hallmark movies.

Remember when watching the Hallmark channel was for 80 year olds or something to be publicly shamed for?  The past few years and this year in particular it seems everyone has been super stoked to dive into these movies despite them all basically being the same movie with a slight circumstance changed here or there.  I swore I was not going to get into those damn movies.

27 movies later.

If you haven't imbibed, let me give you the plot of 80% of the Christmas movies.

NYC girl lets work overwhelm her and gets detoured or spiritually called to New England...likely Vermont.  (Which I totally get btw)

She's likely dating some d-bag that treats her less than she deserves.

She will likely meet a small town boy with simple values that she will fall in love with and move from her entire life she's known because five days is enough to make such a life decision.

There will be an inn or bed and breakfast involved with staff that will become family.

A snowball fight, horse and carriage ride in the snow, sledding or tubing in the snow or all three will ensue.

A huge misunderstanding ala Three's Company will happen threatening the new dude's status and no one will bother to ask any questions that could easily resolve it and save us all 10 minutes.

The kiss of Christmas magic between the newly formed couple will happen and credits will immediately roll so you can watch it all again under a new name with a new cast.

There was one about some DJ getting secret Santa gifts that was completely cringeworthy but I don't remember too many others getting major side eye.  Most are just background noise for the most part but a couple stood out for me.  A Crown for Christmas (affiliate link) with Winnie Cooper Danica McKellar which I actually bought because who knows when they'll yank it.  There was one with Brooke Burns and Henry Winkler on the other day that I really liked called The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. (affiliate link)  It's almost 9 years old though.  There was one called Christmas Homecoming I think with Julie Benz from Dexter that was decent but it's been in heavy rotation and I'm kind of sick of it.  One called Finding Father Christmas (affiliate link) and the sequel which I think was new this year, Engaging Father Christmas.  I liked those two.  A Very Merry Mix Up with Alicia Witt was original and very cute and a little of a detour from every cliche.

Have you gotten sucked into Hallmark movies this holiday season?  What are your favorites/the ones that made you cringe?

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9 comments:

  1. You've certainly summed up every plot of those movies, including the one we watched together the other night which I would swear you were describing to a tee. Hallmark definitely knows what they're doing there. Just watch out for the Nine Lives of Christmas or whatever it is. It is on every time I turn on the TV!

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  2. I am favoring Snow Globe. Not really sure why. Maybe because its so out of possibility and maybe thats what I need at this time of year!

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  3. I am not a Hallmark Channel fan so I don't watch any of the movies, but I do see them advertised a lot. A couple of the authors I read have their books turned in to Hallmark movies, so those always stand out when I hear about them. I'm so behind the times...it was 10 years between movie theater visits for me. ROFL

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  4. I swear you live at my house! All Hallmark this time of year. I'm finally getting a little sick of the "sameness" but I just love the Christmas decorations and settings.

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  5. HA that is the literal EXACT plot of a new Netflix Christmas movie I just watched, The Holiday Inheritance. I have never watched a Hallmark movie but I keep hearing a lot about them. I'm not gonna lie, I generally find stuff like this pretty entertaining...

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  6. I’m glad I’m not alone in getting sucked into these movies... that are all the same!

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  7. I turn them on sometimes, you are right about the plots. I have to admit the plain vanilla whiteness (and I don't mean the snow) gets old after a while. I've found a couple of cute ones on Netflix that I've enjoyed, and over the years I've built up a pretty good collection of my own!

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  8. My guilty pleasure--I just wish they'd mix in some older movies instead of playing the same 4 or 5 over & over & over & over .... Lifetime has some good ones (but their older ones--which they also no longer play) are much better. They are so incredibly CHEESEY, but I still love them. Even my husband will say, "Let me guess--big city girl has to go to a small country town ...." We wonder why it's NEVER the other way around--how 'bout a country girl going to the city and loving THAT? I guess they don't mess with the formula.

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  9. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/james-franco-snl-hallmark-christmas-movies_us_5a3c3474e4b0b0e5a7a0ec8d

    Ok, this is a pretty funny take on the hallmark movies!

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