Monday, March 14, 2016
A confession I wasn't expecting
Well, the weather turned out to be nicer than we thought so we went on a little road trip since we were getting cabin fever. We went to tool around the Mr's old hometown, visit Dad in the cemetery, grab some lunch and stopped by his favorite candy store as a kid. These brought back memories...
Remember those eggs your grandma would get you for Easter? I'm glad to see that even though I don't get them anymore that they're still being made. If I ever did have a hankerin' for them, I'd probably make them myself because when I read the ingredients, I saw the word "hydrogenated" quite a few times. Ahh, to be an ignorant child! Sigh.
We stopped by a local food store and saw this lovely feast waiting for some poor vegan's Easter Sunday.
I'm not raggin' on your vegan feast but come ON man, that just doesn't remotely look appetizing! (No offense to the tofurkey company) Thankfully there are so many more delicious ways to celebrate Easter nowadays.
To continue the food theme, we both laughed when we saw this because we couldn't decide who it fit more, him or me.
Then Sunday happened.
So as I was in my spring forward early morning slumber, I had a dream. It's kind of naughty in nature so if you have delicate sensibilities, skip this paragraph. I was err...getting ready to get frisky with the Mr and when I looked at "Mr. Johnson", it looked weird. Like slightly dehydrated. (Eww!) I was like "dude, your junk looks funny. WTF!?" He seemed somewhat unphased and when I went in for the grab, he screamed and jumped back and said it hurt. I thought he was kidding so I touched it again and he jumped up and said it hurt. I told him we needed to go to the hospital right away and get him checked out by a doctor. He said no because it turned out he had an STD. (As a refresher, the Mr and I have been together since we were 17 and 19 and have only been with each other. I am a product of a divorced family with a father that had an affair so he knows I would never tolerate this, I've said it from day one.) I started shaking and crying and he confessed he had an affair one time and how sorry he was. I yelled at him "how could you bring this into our home!? I hope it falls off, effing mofo!" Then I physically tore into him. I could feel my heart beat racing and then realized I was dreaming but he was about to tell me what happened and I could feel myself waking up. I desperately wanted to go back to sleep to see what he said. To no avail, I woke up. Then you know, you give them the look as they sleep like "you asshat."
I got up and went to the bathroom and went back to bed trying to get back to sleep but couldn't. I laid around for a bit and when he woke up, I decided not to tell him right away because I didn't want to rage out on him over a dream. We went downstairs and hopped onto our laptops to check email. I casually brought up the dream waiting for that reassurance that of course he would never cheat on me, blah blah blah.
Instead, he just got this look on his face. A look that sent my heart through the floor. I said "oh please God..." He started crying and apologizing profusely saying it was one time and he was so sorry. I started screaming to wake up and he tried to calm me down saying it wasn't a dream and he'd wanted to tell me for a while but couldn't take how disappointed I would be in him. I thought I was going to throw up and started shaking. Everything he said just kind of sounded like a Charlie Brown teacher. The more he talked, the more I wanted to hurt him. Finally, I couldn't take it and I picked up my laptop and just before I hit him upside the head...I woke up!
It was a dream inside of a dream! Oh. My. God! What the hell is this, Inception!? That felt so real when I thought I was awake. I had to get up and go downstairs because I didn't want to find out any more...dream or not. I vowed never to listen to the song Somebody Else by The 1975 before bed again. I made brunch, managed not to spite smack him while we were eating and we took care of some computer business. Afterward, I told him about the dream(s). He assured me that never happened and that it never would, not only as a promise to me but one he made to himself long before he met me that he would never stoop so low. I believe him. I have no idea where that crap came from but I told him I wanted him to know I knew that about him.
We ran a few errands then came back and did our Turbo Fire 55 and had dinner and watched Sixteen Candles.
What did you guys do this weekend? Have you ever had a dream within a dream?
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