Thursday, April 30, 2015

Annual date with the metal bird

Ahh, nothing like waking up and realizing it's annual day.

(source)

The hope that you weigh less than the last time you were there, somehow being surprised when they ask you the first day of your last period even though you've been asked it every single year for as long as you can remember, the paper towel they give you to wear while you wait.

Speaking of the wait.  Why do they bring you back so early when you just sit there and wait and wait and wait?  I'd rather wait out in the waiting room with the Mr (yes, he goes with me for moral support, always has and gives him a reason to take off work).  Maybe I'm the only one who has a wait as long as I do but my gynie is worth it.  I wouldn't trust anyone else with my lady bits.  She actually takes the time to answer any questions and that's why she's never on time because of how much time she takes with her patients.

Honestly, of all the doctors appointments I've had to go to this year, it's pretty sad when getting a speculum in the tunnel of love is the least nerve racking.

Do you get your annual...annually?  Or is this your reminder that your health needs to take priority and you're begrudgingly calling your gynie because you know it would suck if you got something you could've caught early but didn't because you were afraid?  (See how I did that?)

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Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Dinner and saucy talk with mama

Happy Hump Day all!

The Mr was teleworking yesterday so we got in the opportunity to get in an early workout.  We were meeting my mom for dinner and froyo and if we were going to get a workout in, it had to be before we left and not after since my mama and I can yakity yak.  I was good and got a grilled chicken breast, slice of sharp cheddar, a strip of bacon on a lettuce "bun" and a side salad.  Holy crap was that chicken salty.  At least to us.  I don't use salt at all...ever.  I have a whole cupboard full of spices and I might have a tablespoon of salt in the salt shaker for company that never comes.  But it was good we got the workout in early because mom and I were on a roll.  If there's one thing the Mr can say, it's that when I have conversations with my family, not much is off limits including saggy fun bags and poop sweats.  Prim and proper we are not.  So between the two places (in the same strip mall), we were out for three hours before parting company as the sun set.



I came home and promptly washed off all of my make up since the rare times I get to wear it these days with the eye crap going on is few and far between.  I bought this all natural skin care stuff called Andalou Naturals.  It smells so good and its reasonably priced but I didn't dive in full tilt in case my skin went nuts with it.  I've been breaking out since I used the daily defense SPF 18 but the Andalou Naturals Blemish Vanishing Gel works well.  It's also the week before Aunt Flo so that is usually the week my face starts looking like puberty so I guess I'll have to use a different week to assess whether the breakouts are hormonal or the change in skin care.  I really want to go with all natural stuff if I can because I just can't handle all of the chemicals in everything these days.  I don't want that crap leeching into me anymore.

We seriously have so much to do today, its crazy.  Captain and First Mate Procrastinator ride again.

Are you proper with your parents or let it all hang out?

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Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Peeved peepers

Oy, yesterday.

Okay, so I've been dealing with this eye issue for 5 1/2 weeks.  Two days after my allergy testing, I noticed I had what felt like an eyelash in my eye and when there was nothing there, I thought maybe a scratch so I'd give it a few days to heal.  My eye felt gritty and as the week went on, more dry.  I went to the eye doctor and he said I had several styes trying to form (couldn't see them myself), told me to do hot compresses several times a day, use an overnight ointment to keep things moist at night and in a few weeks I should be good to go.  I have been religious about it.  When a doc tells me to do something, I do it.  I'm not one of those people who does something for a few days, sees no change and stops.  He mentioned using baby shampoo to keep things clean so the Mr got some of that for me and I made my own rice bag to heat and keep on my wet washcloth to keep it warm for 10-20 minutes at a time.  At one point, when I just lost all hope and broke down in a heap of snot and tears, the Mr went to Walgreens and got me some lid scrub towelettes and I was doing it in the morning and before bed.

The whole routine left my eyelids torn to shreds.  About 2 1/2 weeks into the treatment, I noticed that I could see open pores in the inner corners of each eye with slight white surrounding it.  I took this as a good sign as it was coming to a head like a blemish.  It seemed to stall a bit and I switched ointments to a gel overnight treatment.  It looked like things were slowly moving along.  Then last week, the Mr was having trouble with his contacts, so he thought.  I jokingly said I hoped he wasn't getting what I had but we weren't told it was contagious or anything.  I thought he would've looked but he didn't.  Then the other day I saw them, he had the exact same styes I had in the inner corners but without having to go through the excruciating and tedious routine I had to endure.  I'll be honest, I was pissed.  I have been sick since December 21st with one thing or another with no break or relief and he gets what I have for one day and its Armageddon and must be dealt with asap, etc.  I kind of wanted to kick him in the nuts after having gone through my crap for 5 1/2 weeks.  But we have a road trip this weekend and I cannot drive with this dry eye being an issue and if he couldn't wear his contacts, he can't see and he hates glasses and didn't have prescription sunglasses, etc.

I told you that to tell you this.

So yesterday was getting him into the eye doc which couldn't be done until 4pm.  He called off work because if he had an infection he didn't want to spread it to co-workers.  We were going to go grab some stuff at the store and I told him he might want to swing by the doctors office and pick up his prescription and we could go to one of those one hour eyeglass places and get those in time.  He went in and a few minutes waved me in.  He was picking out frames and liked these wrap arounds so he wanted my opinion.  I was going to get some new sunglasses but never thought of getting prescriptions so we checked our benefits and bought the frames there and would get the lenses at the other place so we could get some of it covered.

We go to the other place and it's a huge to do to get the info in and by the time we get to entering the Mr's info with his frames and she looks at his prescription and is like "oh."  I had a view of myself in a mirror behind him and I see one of my stress hives starting to form on my forehead.

"Because you have an astigmatism, they have to curve the lens and then you have the curve of the wraparound lens already, we'd have to special order these.  They'd be in in 7-10 days."

Insert stress hive going blood red.  It wasn't pretty.

We tell her no and he was the whole reason we even did this, blah blah blah.  So he calls the doc back and asks if we can return the frames we bought from them and what was going on so he could pick out a flatter frame where we were.  She gives the okay and we pick out frames.  We swing back by the docs so they can start the return and call the insurance company so we don't get a bill for attempted double dipping.  We came home and had lunch, went out to the store we originally wanted to go to and back home to see if they called about the sunglasses to see if we could squeeze in a workout.  Nope.  We putz around for 20 minutes and they call, so back out we went.

Of course there was no parking so I hopped out of the car and ran in to get them.  It took a few because nothing can be simple with us.  We gassed up to kill some time then went back for his 4pm appointment.  We went back and the doc examined him and was surprised to hear I was still having issues.  He said there's obviously something that clogged both of us up and while he's not big on antibiotics, there is one that usually helps with this.  It's both an antibiotic and an anti-inflammatory and is usually prescribed for acne which this is kind of like acne in the worst possible place.  I got very nervous because of the crap I was prescribed the 2nd time but he left the room and researched the side effects and this is an old school version, not the newer class that has 80 side effects.  (I wish I was exaggerating)  We'll have to be super vigilant about sunscreen when we're outside or even in the car but I'm praying to God this is what finally does it.  Suffering for almost 6 weeks with this has been a serious test of my sanity.  I just want to be normal again.

Normal for me.

I never mentioned it before now because honestly, I'm not in the mental state to take internet horror stories.

Dinner was orange shrimp over thai lime rice and mixed veggies.



Our workout was WATP Firm 30.

Looking around, I should probably get to cleaning soon.  Oy.  It never ends, y'all.

Recently had a day or minor illness chew you up and spit you out?

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Monday, April 27, 2015

Gorilla style and spring in bloom

Really?  I work my butt off last week, follow the same food plan, get in my water and I get nothing on the scale?  I had a goal for the last weigh in of the month and I was one pound away.

ONE pound.

Completely doable...no Earthly reason as to why it couldn't be hit, on paper everything said I should lose two but I wasn't going to be greedy but nothing.  (No it's not that time of the month, I usually lose that week anyway.  No I didn't lose inches, the measuring tape has actually gone up.)

THIS is why when people say sh*t like "calories in vs. calories out" or "eat less, move more, it's as simple as that" I feel that I have every right to drop kick them square in their stupid ass teeth.  It's NOT as simple as that.  You probably think I'm overreacting but let me tell you something about me and weight loss goals.  Throughout the dawn of my time on this Earth, I have never once hit the weight loss number I set out to hit in X amount of time.  I would get within 3-5 pounds of it and then nothing or gains to make it even further out of my reach for no good reason.  To be one pound away and still be laughed at by the universe feels like a slap in the face to all of my hard work.  Especially given how horrible my cravings have been over the past two weeks.  I could've totally caved and stuffed myself full of the crap I was craving but I had this goal in sight and this lack of hitting it when I was so close really hit me hard.

The only thing I can think of is I felt really beat up and maybe I should've taken a rest day in there somewhere.  I suppose I should be grateful I didn't gain anything.  That usually happens when I'm close to a goal.  The weight loss deities throw in some wild card gain that makes no sense.  Oh well, nothing I can do about it now.  I just have to calm my urge to go gorilla style on a piece of machinery.

Gorilla style- [guh-ril-uh  sty-l]- verb- to poop in your hand and throw it at the scale in disgust much like a gorilla does at the zoo to small children.

On the upside, the Mr lost 3 lbs.

He found some thing for us to do in the morning called the Tibetan Five.  Go ahead and look at it if you like.  Okay, so we did a few of them in bed (probably not where you're supposed to do them but still)  Then we got up and I spun around like 7x before collapsing on the bed in a dizzy heap for about 30 seconds.  The Mr spun around slowly 3x fell to the bed and when I came back from the bathroom 5 minutes later he was still laying on the bed ready to hurl.  The man gets sick on the swings.  So yeah, this could help him build up some tolerance or it'll make him fall the wrong way into the dresser, get amnesia and my life's purpose will change.  (Not that I apparently have a life's purpose anyway but still, this may cement it)

We went to the health food store and bought shea butter, essential oils and stuff to make homemade shave cream.  I bought the Mr an old school shaving kit because after I read about the crap in those "moisturizing strips" on razors, I was done.  They always irritate his skin anyway and I'm just done with all of these damn chemicals leeching into our bodies so I'm going to DIY as much stuff as I can from cleaners to skin care and everything in between.  I even signed up for the frequent shopper card at the health food store so hand me my boho ankle length skirt and Birkenstocks...I'm officially a crunchy granola.

Sunday we took a walk since it was so nice out and enjoyed the signs of spring in full bloom.




It always makes me sad we have these flowering beauties for so little time.  Without fail, just as blooms come out some huge windstorm comes along and blows half the petals off.  So many were scattered on the sidewalk already.  It's the same with Fall, just as the leaves turn the brilliant hues we've all been so patiently waiting for, a windy day blows them all to the ground.  It's like the best seasons with the most beauty pass by so quickly.  Sigh.

What did you guys do this weekend?

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Friday, April 24, 2015

Whoopin' and what I'm reading this week

It's da weekend!  

*booty poppin' dance*

Man, this workout week really handed me a whoopin'.  Well I should say the strength training in particular.  We drug out the Total Trainers Monday and then did a lower body workout Wednesday and I just tried to load up with protein and water for muscle repair. 

But enough of that, let's get to...



34 Healthy Energy Bars You Can Make at Home  (I was seriously wondering how to make some and this popped up.  Some good recipes!)

Dr. Oz Defends Medical Advice After Calls For Dismissal From Columbia University  (I'm sorry but when a heart doctor writes a weight loss book saying how I can have any nut butter I want except peanut butter because it's so delicious I won't be able to control myself then last week tells me to load up on peanuts or 3 tbsps of peanut butter, then yeah...no trust.  Stick to fixing hearts please.)

The Top 3 Scariest, Grossest, Germiest Places in Your House  (The second I read this, I did a tub clean on the washer.  No lie)

14 Sneaky Ways to Hide Household Eyesores  (Some AWESOME ideas in here.  I'm doing a few!)

What to Do When Your Job Is Seriously Stressing You Out  (Besides quit)

Why Your Brain Doesn't Want You to Keep Weight Off—and How to Fight It  (This is so true.  I think some of us talked about this recently on Facebook)

Why a High-­Fat Diet Can Torpedo Your Metabolism  (Why did they show donuts as the picture when they're talking about cheese?)

Which Foods Actually Stain Your Teeth (and Which Don't)  (Good to know!)

How to Buy Better Produce for Less  (I'll take any penny I can get!)

See How Body Shaming Can Affect Anyone, Even Fitness Stars  (I bawled my eyes out for her)

Mindfulness as effective as pills for treating recurrent depression  (Good info for those who prefer not to take meds)

First Draft of 'Breakfast Club' Script Unearthed at Shuttered Chicago High School  (Cool!)

This Is What Plus-Size Clothes Look Like On Plus-Size Women  (Hilarious and so true.  Why do we have catalogs or websites to begin with?  Actually 10 years ago they tried to launch true to size catalogs and people didn't want to see what they would actually look like, they wanted skinnier models.  *rolling eyes*)

This Couple Kept the "Best Secret Ever" From Their Family and Friends   (The reactions are hilarious!)

Last F**kable Day with Tina Fey, Patricia Arquette, Julia Louis-Dreyfus & Amy Schumer (NSFW, full of swearing but hilarious as hell)

We've got a ton to do this weekend and no to do list to follow so I need to make that up today so I don't forget anything.  A super busy time coming up and multi-tasking isn't my strong point.  I think we're trying a new pizza place this weekend...unless my craving for my meatloaf overtakes that.  I make a mean version of Cheesecake Factory's old favorite the Mile High Meatloaf sandwich.  Actually the past two weeks, I've been craving pure crap but then come high cal day we can't think of anything.  Weirdos.

Whatchu guys up to this weekend?

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Thursday, April 23, 2015

Spontaneous update

About 4 years ago when I redid the bedroom, we got this armoire for my dresser from a vintage shop.


I've always loved it...until I open it.


The inside was nicked up a little and the guy who painted it did a bit of a sloppy job.  I always said I was going to paint it but you know how that goes.  When I was going upstairs, I decided to grab the sample size Duck Egg chalk paint that took up residence on the dining table.  When I got to the top of the stairs, I saw my paint brush and thought "eh, why not."

I got straight to work and didn't even bother to take my clothes out of the drawers.


I painted all of the drawer fronts and the side pieces and then decided to seal it with some wax so it would hold up for a good long while.  You can see how the wax deepens the color slightly.



Then it was all sealed and ready to not be winced at anymore when the doors are opened.


I think it probably took a total of 30-40 minutes for all coats of paint and wax.  Only took a few years to actually execute.




Have you ever done a spontaneous update of something you had no intention of doing five minutes earlier?

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Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Thumpin' melon

It was a pretty long day yesterday.  It's usually the Mr's telework day and I must be used to it because the day dragged on forever with him at work.  I got some scheduling done I've been putting off, following up with people dragging their feet on some things, spent the day obsessing with stats for the latest video and trying to stop my nails from throbbing after biting them all off from nerves.  Yeesh.

The Mr was kind enough to stop by the grocery on the way home and ran into several stupid people that caused him to get a flaming headache.  I was so sore from the Total Trainer session the night before I knew nothing strenuous was in the cards for me so I thought I'd see if he wanted to walk at the park.  He looked pretty beat and in pain but said he wanted to in lieu of going into the basement to workout.  It was pretty windy but I knew that would mean no sweat and I'm down with that.  We gabbed and enjoyed the sunshine.


I wish I could say that made him better but he seemed to get worse even after a neck massage from me, Excedrin migraine (his usual last resort) and dinner of chicken, sweet potato and green beans.  I felt so bad for him.  I know those days when you just have the worst headache that wants to hang on and nothing seems to help.  The only thing that seemed to slightly improve things for him was the all natural method of peppermint and olive oil rubbed on the temples.  Hopefully today will be better.

But it was good to stumble across Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back so we could hear the line "fire a warning shot into his bulbous ass."  That one got a pretty hearty chuckle from the Mr.

How do you soothe headaches that hang on?

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Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Let's end this together!



You all know about the struggle my grandma has been going through with dementia.  This disease is stealing her from a family who loves her and misses her despite the fact that she's sitting right next to them.  She no longer knows us and it is a fate worse than death.  It is the 6th leading cause of death and out of the top 10 causes of death, this is the ONLY one with no effective treatment or cure.  This MUST change or more of us and our loved ones will succomb to this disease.  Don't think it can't happen to you...it can and you don't have to be old to get it.  People in their 20's and 30's are being diagnosed!

I have joined a fundraiser benefitting the Alzheimer's Association in collaboration with Seth and Lauren Rogen to aid toward getting a documentary made because I think awareness to the younger generation is so important if we're going to get a cure for this disease.  People need to change their views on Alzheimers and dementia by getting educated.  This documentary puts a face to this disease from Seth and Lauren's story to the story of a 35 year old that was diagnosed to what patients in a nursing home go through every day.

Seth and Lauren Rogen have done an amazing job of bringing awareness where they can with their program Hilarity for Charity but sadly, when Seth testified before Congress, most of the seats were empty and only two senators showed up which is friggin' appalling.

Please stop by the landing page for the fundraiser and watch the YouTube video for a peek at what you'd be supporting.  Even if you can't afford to donate, please consider sharing the fundraiser page with everyone you know because when it comes down to it, we've all either been or known someone touched by Alzheimers and dementia.  If you want to honor someone you love currently suffering, someone you've lost to the disease or to show your support to a friend, co-worker or friend of the family touched by this disease...please donate.  Minimum donation toward the documentary is $10.

If you'd prefer to donate any amount no matter how small toward Alzheimers research, you can go to Hilarity for Charity which benefits the Alzheimers Association.

You guys know this is close to my heart.   Thanks for listening and considering a donation no matter the amount either to the documentary or to the charity.  I understand if you can't but please pass it along to anyone else you think may be interested!

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Monday, April 20, 2015

Weekend giggles and eats

Happy Monday peeps!

We had a pretty decent weekend.  I was down another pound, the Mr maintained but he didn't track his food all week.  That's all I'm sayin'.  He knows not tracking leaves him high and dry on the scale every single time.

We got out and enjoyed the weather.  We got a burger for lunch, found the city was crawling with too much activity for the Mr's liking so we did a little early grocery shopping at Trader Joe's.  I was super ticked to see they yanked my parisian carrots I friggin' LOVED.  I'm pretty sure they now track our receipts to see what we buy consistently and plan what they will discontinue from that.  Jerks.

Then it was off to Target so I could see the funniest thing I would see all weekend.


Sorry Christian...no one gives a crap anymore, you're on the clearance rack.

We worked on a video and I got to bed at a decent hour whilst the Mr wasted people on his video game.

Sunday we were expecting rain but when I woke up and saw a sunny day, I roused the Mr so we could get in a hike at the park before the heavens opened.  It was a decent walk and I burned 600 calories so I can't complain.

It was a pretty good food day too.  I've been craving nachos so that's what I made us for lunch.


Garden of Eatin' No Salt tortilla chips, ground white turkey, enchilada and taco sauce, pepper jack cheese, scallions and spinach.  I'm hoping it helped quell the Mr's Taco Hell cravings.  That stuff is so nasty.  I remember the day I actually tasted each ingredient seperately instead of covered in goo or sauce.  What an eye opener and haven't had it since...like 6 years or something.

We did our produce shopping and the Mr cut up the veggies and cantaloupe for me, we worked on another video while it poured rain and then I made dinner.


Ginger BBQ pork chop and grilled asparagus with mango lemonade.  I *rarely* imbibe in caloric drinks for dinner but my God that stuff is heaven.

Later it was time to sip some hot chocolate, listen to some 80's music and plan meals for the week.

What did you guys get into this weekend?

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Friday, April 17, 2015

It's Friday yo and what I'm reading this week

Howdy do all?

I am so glad it's Friday and I don't really know why because it's not like we have too much planned.  But do we ever need a reason to be happy for Friday?  Nope!  But enough of my babble, let's get to:



Smell what The Rock is Cooking-Dwayne Johnson's meal plan  (Holy balls!)

How to Make Bananas Ripen Exactly When You Want Them (Word!)

5 No-Brainer DIYs That Ironically Keep Your Mind Sharp  (Nice to know crafting serves better purposes!)

11 Trader Joe’s Facts You Probably Don't Know  (Finally glad to know the bell system)

6 Daily Habits Of Healthy People That You Should Adopt ASAP  (Will do)

Financial risks in your forties  (I suppose I should read this a few times)

6 Major Fitness Myths—Busted!  (Gotcha)

81 Awesome Resources When You Can’t Afford a Therapist  (Good info to have)

Gravity Payments CEO takes 90% pay cut to give workers huge raise   (Courtesy of the Mr.  This guy will have good karma raining down on him for years to come)

Amazing Nurse Cat Comforts Other Sick Animals in Polish Animal Shelter  (Aww)

Here’s What Birth Control Actually Does To Your Sex Drive  (Interesting info especially for dudes to understand.)

The Best Delicious Desserts Made Healthier From Around the Web  (I admit some of these made me wrinkle my nose but I won't knock them til I try them)

6 Creative Ideas to Inspire Your Windowsill Garden  (I want a windowsill!)

Chris Pratt completes Half Ironman  (Congrats to Chris!)

So that's about it on my end.  I think we're supposed to have decent weather so maybe we'll get out and walk a bit.  We've got a little cleaning and work to do too so a little business with pleasure.

What are you guys up to this weekend?

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Thursday, April 16, 2015

Video doesn't lie

Thanks so much for the kind responses yesterday.

It was a pretty lackluster day.  I got to work on some stuff I needed to get done and counted down the hours until the Mr got home since the day seemed to drag.

(via)
Last night we did a circuit workout and a few of the songs brought back memories of our 2001 trip to Hawaii.  I always remember that as one of my favorite trips.  I thought I looked decent, we went to three islands and I knew we'd be taking my friend the following year so we filmed it kind of travelogue style which is fun to watch.  We broke out the DVD's and reminisced.  Then I realized that "ahh, I didn't look as good as I thought I did!"  I definitely held my weight differently because I don't think I'm too far off weight wise than I am now.  So weird how that is.  Plus our voices sound so young, well I guess we were young, I was 26 and he was 28.  My voice is now grisled by life.  Nothing more frustrating than looking back on a trip 14 years ago and realizing you're not much better off weight wise.  Sigh.

Then it reminded me that we never really put together our vacation video from last years trip to Carmel and San Francisco which means it'll never get done.  That's not like us.  I think when we went through footage we weren't thoroughly impressed with what I took.  Double sigh.

Dinner was salmon and brussels.

I'm ready for the weekend...if Garfield didn't give you the hint.

Do you ever look at pics or video of a time when you thought you looked good and recoil in horror?

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Wednesday, April 15, 2015

A not so happy update



A few of you have emailed asking how my grandma is doing.

I wish I had an accurate or better update to share.  I'm ashamed to admit, I can't take seeing her much anymore.  I have tried to adjust to her new reality but she didn't take the typical route we were told to expect.  Everything we read said that for years she could be stuck in a certain time period and we were ready for that.  Honestly, that never happened.  It just went from her knowing us and seeming like a majority of her was still there to her being slightly confused as to who we were but then it would click.  Now to her, only her husband exists and the rest of us are just irritating strangers.  I don't hold that against her obviously but it seems that she really doesn't want anything to do with the rest of us because something outside the routine is upsetting her calm.  Her husband is her lifeline because he's with her 24/7.  Two of her daughters are with her once or twice a week and every time they see her, she doesn't know them.  So even if I spent an hour a day with her, she still wouldn't know me.  Even if I were there, she spends most of her time with her eyes closed, sleeping or sitting there spaced out from her medicine.

I have decided to keep my mouth shut where my opinion for what is best for her is concerned.  I seem to be the only person (well, the Mr and I) who is thinking more about what makes her comfortable than trying to desperately hang on to things that aren't there anymore.  I expressed my concern that she seemed to be in pain all of the holidays last year and it was swept aside and said 'well it's not like we can not have her come.'  Actually, yes we can if it's best for her and according to the book we have that is quoted like the bible where other things are concerned, it says routine and keeping her calm is more important than our traditions.

Do I want her there?  Absolutely!  But not at the expense of her comfort.  When it was time to go, that woman was outta there!  I mean that is the fastest I've seen her move in months.  To her, she is a childless, grandchild-less woman that has her husband and that's her reality.  She is mildly belligerent in that she tells people to shut up and that has increased over the past year.  She doesn't like noise of any kind.  What kind of memories are we giving the great grandkids when they see a woman who looks scared or irritated by them when they approach her...if they approach her because they're now a little scared of her?  She wouldn't want to be remembered that way by them!  But yes, let's continue to drag her to things so we can pretend everything is still okay.  Remember when Pope John Paul II was toward the end and I swear it looked like they were dragging him to public events to prove things were still okay and he could still serve but looked like a puppet on a dolly?  That's the same feeling I'm starting to get with her.  I wish I could ask her what she wanted but I only have the looks on her face and her body language to go by and it's not positive.  I also have a growing irritation that I shouldn't have toward her husband because of the things that weren't done early on to keep her mental connections strong like the doctor said.  The doctors stressed good diet, daily exercise and mental stimulation and none of those things were done.  I think it's because he thought those drugs she was on were going to somehow cure her.  It wasn't until two years in that he said out loud "she's not going to get better, is she?" despite the doctors always saying that was never in the cards.  There's nothing that can be done about that now but it still sticks in my craw.  (Eww, what a gross saying)  He's a saint for the things he does do for her and I completely acknowledge that and I know he's doing what he thinks is right.  But the time has come that the home health care needs to be increased and he's taking on a burden that is going to kill him.  Seriously, he looks like a dead man walking and this step needs to be taken to save them both.  I'm a stubborn person but I would never sacrifice the Mr's health and my own over pride.  Sorry, it's just very frustrating and heartbreaking.  I know we're all trying to feel our way through this and we'd be some kind of an enigma as a family if we all agreed on what is best for her.  I just know that I'm in the minority and of course I think my way is right, just like they all do about how her health is being handled.  So I see no benefit to speaking my mind on that front anymore.  I have to believe Grandma somehow knows my heart even if she doesn't know my face anymore.

Me?  I can barely keep it together when I see her.  She looks past me now.  She doesn't want to be touched so no more hugs to greet her even if we had to explain who we were.  She doesn't want people to talk around her.  Obviously we do but she looks like she's in so much pain when we do and though I've been told she's not (because that's what people want to believe...they have no way of knowing), I can hardly stand to see her that way without tearing up.  My goodbye to her at Easter as she was zooming by to get the hell outta Dodge was a simple touch of the shoulder and "bye grandma" even though she didn't feel or acknowledge it.  I have visions that she is okay inside her head and is screaming to say things we would understand but they can't come out.  Then I have visions she is in the constant state of confusion and fear she appears to be in every waking minute of her life.

I'd like to think when she dreams, memories of happy times come to her.  Times where she was able to say what she wanted to say, was able to laugh, be carefree and interact with people.  Times when she knew that she was a mother and had a granddaughter who loved her so much that seeing her anything less than happy tore out her soul.

Sorry for the bummer but this is dementia...ugly, unfair and just plain effed up.

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Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Patio clearing and butt kicking

Yesterday I couldn't take how grody the patio looked anymore and decided to dig up and throw out all of the plants from last season.  I know, you're supposed to do that in the Fall, we don't.  Never have and I'm not going to lie and say we're going to start now.  We're just lazy like that.  When I threw away the potted palm (what was left of it) I found this little guy/girl so I gave it a twig to crawl up and out of the pot at its leisure.


By the time I was done, I was apparently covered in something that irritated me because I was itching everywhere and the spots that are STILL there from my allergy test were itching.  So I peeled off my clothes in the basement and showered to wash everything off.  I ran the sweeper on the rug, swept and cleaned the floor and ran the air purifier in the living room to try to get everything settled down.  It seemed to help quite a bit but it's irritating I would have to do that.  Hopefully it's only when kicking stuff up/planting when the time is right and not just a result of having the door open or anything.  Yeesh.

Sunday, the Mr put some graphite lubricant on some problem boards in our kitchen.  It's a bummer that less than a year after getting our floors done that they already have squeaks.  If we had it to do over again, I think we should've put new luan down to replace what we ripped up with the other floor.  I just assumed we didn't need it and I think our friend said if we had it that there would be a weird angle in the floor that couldn't be there.  But now the boards move so much when I'm trying to film things that it's maddening.  Maybe we should've put the luan down throughout the living room to meet up with the kitchen but too late now.  Wah wahhh.  So the Mr did some research and found that graphite lubricant between the boards can really help with boards rubbing against each other.  It has helped tremendously.  There are a few stubborn spots but nothing another treatment or two couldn't help with.  So if you have squeaky laminate, there's your tip for the day,

I saw Fitness Blender just posted another strength workout on our strength day so I figured why not get our butts handed to us for our workout?  That it did.

Dinner was coconut shrimp and thai lime rice.

Do you clear your plants in the fall or the spring?


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Monday, April 13, 2015

Post Easter aftermath

So it was time for the big post- Easter weigh in.  Let me tell you how some previous years post-Easter weigh in's went.

2013- +2
2014- +4
2015-  -3

That's right, I LOST 3 POUNDS...over EASTER.  The holiday where the only present you typically receive is candy.  This reinforces several things I already knew.

1) If we make our high cal day Easter Sunday, then it is possible to lose weight.  That is a big fat DUH but our sense of entitlement blinded us to reason in years past.

2)  If we carefully choose the candy we're going to get without buying everything disguised as a bunny or egg or things we can get any time of year, we can lose weight.

3)  While drinking apple cider vinegar can aid for various things in the body, using it to aid in weight loss never works for me.  I was off it last week and lost.  I was on it the week before and didn't.  This has happened several times, enough to be a pattern.  As usual, my body goes against the grain of what works for 90% of the population so I'll stick to using it as a pretty kick ass topical zit tonic.

We went out Saturday and I got a bad chicken and waffle sandwich at this restaurant that I know better than to expect a good outcome.  I ate some of it and not even half of the fries and I paid for it later.  I don't know if it's their butter or the oil they fry in but I'm lucky to even get out of there without making a mad dash to the lavatory.  I was given a 45 minute reprieve before the satanic rumblings from Hell kicked in and we were close enough to home I was able to make it there.  I think I'm crossing that place off of my list.  It happens without fail.  :-(

During my 45 minute reprieve time, we hit up the sporting goods store and got rash guards we'll need for the summer.  I'll explain why in a later post.  But it was nice to have those bought and out of the way.

Sunday it was time to get out and enjoy the weather and flowers.


Everything is blooming and it makes for an awfully nice stroll about the city.

I also packed a nice, healthy pic-a-nic for us to enjoy in the park.


A turkey wrap with hummus, a little BBQ sauce and spinach, some carrots, pineapple and raisins.  It was nice to sit on the park bench as the doggies wandered by.  One came right up to us the second we finished like "what do you guys have?"  Sorry fella, 20 seconds too late!

Despite putting on sunscreen I feel like I got sun which is not good.  So I think it's time for new sunscreen.  I can't be out in the sun thinking I'm safe and then get that tender feeling.  BLECH!  I remember back in the 80's when it was like water bottle or baby oil was the only thing I wanted to assist me.  Boy, if we only knew then that sunscreen wasn't for crunchy hippies or fair skinned people.  *rolling eyes*

I didn't do good on water Saturday but got it all in on Sunday.  I'm off to plan meals for the week!

What did you do this weekend?

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Friday, April 10, 2015

Weekend ready and what I'm reading this week

It's been a long week and I'm ready for a bit o' relaxation.

Whose with me?

While we're all waiting for the clock to let us go home, let's get to...




What Tech Experts Do at the ATM to Protect Their Accounts and You Probably Should, Too  (Will do!)

7 Reasons to Start Your Day With a Glass of Lemon Water  (I wish I could down a whole lemons worth of juice in the morning...wretch)

The Farmer's Share Of The Retail Dollar  (This is very sad...these people provide our FOOD for God's sake!)

Students experience living history on retired aircraft carrier  (So sweet.  All kids need to be this interested in learning)

The Rewards of Saying “No”  (I LOVE this response and just used it today!)

What’s the Deal With Matcha, Really?  (I may need to start forcing this down once a day)

Why Facebook’s Scrapbook Is Bad For Your Baby  (I have never agreed with people sharing their kids photos on FB when they have no say in the matter but this is a whole other thing)

Travel Mistakes I Always Make  (Love Samantha Brown)

The Golden Girls Lego Set Might Soon Be Reality  (courtesy of The Mr)

The Hidden Dangers of Makeup Brushes  (Given the crap I'm going through right now, I learned a hard lesson but not like this poor woman.  CLEAN YOUR BRUSHES!)

27 Insanely Smart Ways To Save Money At Whole Foods  (Other than not shopping there)

Nothing on tap for the weekend that I'm aware of which is fine with me.  I'd like the house to spontaneously clean itself but I'm guessing that's not going to happen.  Hmmph.

What are y'all getting into this weekend?

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Thursday, April 9, 2015

Strollin' and rollin'

Yesterday we had some storms roll in that were pretty bad and it looks to be the trend for the next few weeks.  Luckily by the time the Mr got home (late) there was some sunshine and it was perfect weather for walking.  I needed to get out of the house so off to the park.

We were greeted by the turkeys.


The trails were flooded so we just walked the asphalt and gabbed the whole way.  We did a bit of a longer route and by the time we were nearing the end, I was feeling it in the hips and my sunscreen was sweating off in record time.

When will they make truly sweatproof sunscreen?  I hate putting it on and then going out in public and it looks like I'm pouring sweat.  Yeah, that doesn't look fat at all to be glistening in 60 degree weather.

When we got home, it was time for dinner.  Mahi mahi over spinach and carrot polenta.



We caught up on the DVR a bit, streamed some jazz from San Francisco, raging thunderstorms rolled in and then just had a lazy evening.

What did you do last night?  Do you know of any good, REAL sweatproof sunscreen?

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Wednesday, April 8, 2015

April foolin' and atoll living

I think it's only fitting that April begins with April Fools Day because for some reason every single year, April is the month with the most complete and utter BS for us.  I have no idea why, I don't know if moons go in reverse, the gravitational pull shifts or what but this whole month, we will be the fan and the rest of the world will be the sh!t.  It's just how it is.

The Mr had to work on his telework day and it was a pretty stressful day for him.  I made sure I was in a decent mood for him when he came home, had the trash can back inside and let him chill on the bed longer than we probably should have.  I desperately wanted to walk last night.  I needed to get out of the house but the late hour and the rain weren't conducive to that.  It was one of those days that made me think of Volcano, Hawaii where it's misty, you walk in the rain and don't care.

It was time to go downstairs.  Then we started griping when we got downstairs (I'm tellin' ya, it's a thing) and got started SOOO late.  If that wasn't enough, we (I) griped through the entire workout.  It made it go faster.  We came up and I got right on dinner...orange BBQ pork chop and half a grilled sweet tater with butter spray and pumpkin pie spice.


The rest of the night was spent trying to relax my facial muscles because the stress slammed my sinuses shut and my neck and shoulders were killing me.  I need a vacation.  Or to move to an atoll.  Yes, an atoll would be good.  Just me, the Mr, shorebirds, a fishing spear and our volleyball Wilson when we want to talk to people.

Do you have a time every year that seems to poop on you?  Could you live on an atoll with no one but you and your spouse?

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Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Kickin' up dust from dawn to dusk

You'll have to excuse me, this post is going to be a little

(via)

Yesterday I got up and stripped the bed and got laundry going.  Before everything was done, I figured might as well dust, vacuum, change out decor and all that happy crap.  Then I ran the air purifier all day to try to suck up all the dust I kicked up.  I made the bed and we're good to go for the week.

Then I looked into the kitchen and got irritated with all of the dishes left from the weekend and holiday so I got to it in there.  Cake carrier, cookie plate, skillets, stock pot...all of it.  I still have a little more to tackle in there but made a pretty good dent.

The Mr got home and we went down pretty early to workout but ended up talking for over an hour down there.  I swear it's some weird habit we got into but with the previous day's events, we had a little more to discuss than usual.  We did Walk Away the Pounds Firm 30 with heavier weights so by the end we were toast.  Dinner was salmon and brussels.

Later the Mr was breaking down some boxes and decided to tackle my hoard pile of Amazon boxes downstairs I intended to use for shipping.  All that cardboard filled up his back seat so it was time for a recycle run across the street.  It kicked up quite a bit of dust.  We have to clean that basement sometime soon because we're in it every day and since I'm allergic to dust, sucking that in while I exercise is probably not the best thing.  With it being unfinished, it produces way more dust and lint.

Sigh.

Do you ever wake up with the urge to clean?

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Monday, April 6, 2015

Easter recap

Hope everyone had a nice holiday weekend!

The weight loss Gods were kind to the Mr with a one pound loss.  They ignored me with a maintain, not a single ounce.  (finger gesture)  Look, I get that I basically did exercise four days last week (five but it was stretching Sunday from the pain we were still in from Friday's workout) but on diet alone I should've been able to lose at least a pound.  Asshat scale.  Oh yeah and how do I gain 2 inches in my waist?  Asshat measuring tape.

Whatever.

After griping about my weight, I'll tell you we had Easter candy the next day.  Damn that stuff adds up fast but on the positive side, we did WAY better this holiday weekend than the past few years.  Because of entitlement reasons, we felt like why should we give up our high cal day on Easter weekend instead of making Easter our high cal day.  I know, dumb.  But this year, we did the smart thing and flip flopped.  In doing that, we saved ourselves 2800 calories over last year.  Yeah, can you believe that number?  It was one of those deals where you eat and then track and start tearing up at how bad you screwed yourself with one more of this or that.  So while I'm mad at the piece of machinery in my basement, I'm also very pleased with how we did and the fact we pre-planned instead of shoveling in and then dealing with the consequences.  I also got in all of my water both days which is way better than normal.

It was time to refuel so it was off to the grocery stores at the worst possible time...1pm on the Saturday before Easter.



We snagged the last spot at Trader Joe's and we powered through the crowd and as we approached the check out, a cashier directed us to her no wait line.  Thank you sweet baby Jesus.  We didn't have to wait long at Target either.  The final store looked super busy but it didn't seem as bad inside so we lucked out to a degree.

I'm going to have to plan very carefully this week and I also need to get better with when I'm getting my water in.  I was on a good schedule for 3 weeks and then the end of last week I was struggling to get it in.  I got it in but got lazy with it.

The rain let up long enough for us to get out and enjoy a walk at the park.  It was a good walk and went fast since we gabbed the whole time.



We're going to have to take the outdoor walking where we can get it since April showers looks to be the theme in the weatherman's repertoire.  Then it was off for the family gathering.  The kids all had fun.  The Mr made paper airplanes for them which they loved and of course there was a good dose of piss and vinegar from certain family members.  You just have to say a prayer for them and move on because getting raked into the drama is just not worth it.

I'm ready to make this a good week and hope I don't get punished for flip flopping the high cal day to Sunday.  I'll do everything I can to combat things.

How was your weekend?

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Friday, April 3, 2015

Easter weekend and what I'm reading this week

Friday you're finally here!

I'm hoping y'all are ready for some linkage to peruse to make your work day go faster.  Yes?  Then lets get to...




8 Cost-Effective Ways to Get a High-End Look  (Ooh la la)

Teen Bullied Over Her Prom Dress Has the Last Laugh  (I LOVE this!)

After Daughters Act Up, Mom Turns to Facebook to Make Amends  (I love this just as much because it shows some parents actually, you know, parent.)

22 Easter Bunnies That Are Definitely Serial Killers  (Hide yer children!)

Emily Debrayda Phillips obituary  (Trust me, you'll want to read it)

Big Love: Getting Beyond a 100 Pound Weight Gain  (Get it, girl!)

Herb Garden Essentials: How to Grow Basil (I always have such lofty plans for basil.  This year I want to follow through, dammit!)

Cool ways to dye Easter eggs  (Pretty cool but I've always been a Paas girl)

A High-Fat Diet Could Be Altering Your Behavior and Not Just Your Waistline  (Interesting stuff)

'Desperately Seeking Susan' Turns 30: An Oral History of the Downtown Classic  (I was positive this was going to be my life.  I would live in NYC, know cool people like Susan and hang out in seedy magic clubs.  Sigh...to be young and full of 80's movie dreams)

Pope told to lay off the pasta and exercise more after weight gain  (Aww, pudgy pope.  Lil nugget)

A Look at What 100 Calories of Easter Candy Looks Like (Hint: Not Much)  (Yikes)

We're flip flopping our high cal day to Sunday so we can just have one day of pseudo gluttony over turning it into two.  We picked a few things for our Easter candy and I told my mom no candy this year.  Let's hope she listens.  I don't want to have to stave off temptation if I don't have to.

I'm bringing a strawberry and vanilla bundt cake and I saw Trader Joe's has cookie butter oreo like cookies so I bought those so I could try one (or two) and let the family dingoes eat them.

What are you doing this weekend?  Happy Easter!

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Thursday, April 2, 2015

Yawn

I've stared at this page hoping something interesting would pop up.  Fact is, yesterday was just boring.

The Mr and I could barely walk yesterday from the previous days strength session.  We had to take a rest day because even walking was not in the cards.  Dinner was chicken tacos.




We rented Wild with Reese Witherspoon.  I don't know why but I just didn't connect with it. I expected to be a quivering heap of tears by the end and while I shed a few tears, I didn't care for it.  I understand why Reese got the praise for the role.

Then it was time to tune in for the series finale of Cougar Town.  I loved that show the first few years.  I'm too loyal and even though the past few seasons have kind of stunk, I had to see it through.  It kind of bummed me out and then the twist happened and I was a blubbering pool of tears.

On a better note, tomorrow's Friday!

Was your night as boring as ours?

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Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Breakfast mash

The other morning, I decided to try a little something different for breakfast.

I had a lone sweet potato and wanted to jazz it up for breakfast.  Don't ask why I was craving a sweet potato.  So here's what I did...


I grabbed my morning nana, the sweet potato and some raw honey.  I poked the sweet potato and microwaved it for 5 minutes.  While it was warming, I mashed the banana in a bowl.

When the tater was done, I peeled the skin and mashed it as well. 


Then I added the two mashes and gave 'em a stir together.


I dipped a fork in the honey and drizzled it over the top and hit it with a bit of pumpkin pie spice.

It was quite good and kept me full all morning.

What concoctions do you like for breakfast?

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