Monday, December 28, 2015
Funny how you end up feeling like Stitch under an 18 wheeler after the holidays...
We all know I didn't feel the same about it either and on Christmas morning next year, I am pushing to go to somewhere that is forecasted to get snow because I'm tapping out. I'll still bake for the people that need it but I proposed that we move Christmas Eve with my mom to the weekend before, we leave mid-week to go to Vermont or someplace that is more likely to have snow (I know, they don't have it now,don't care) and give myself the gift of peace next year. We'll lie and tell mom that we may go to his side that day and trust me when I tell you that is not an option for either of us. It would be as much if not more hell and I'm tired of dreading Christmas Day.
That's what it's come down to...me waking up Christmas morning, having a great present opening session with my honey and as the hour approaches to get ready for the rest of the day...pit in stomach and/or panic attack. This used to happen to me with his family...never in a million years did I think it would happen with mine! When I think of how it was spent, the only people that appeared happy to be there were the little kids and that was only because they were getting presents. Everyone else looked miserable, tired, actually cried or went to another room and shut the door to get away from everyone. NOT my idea of a Merry Christmas.
I think the Mr was reluctant to go along with the idea of Christmas anywhere but home, thinking it was the ravings of a lunatic who was just done with Christmas but given several things that transpired, he agreed. He's not crazy about it but realizes he's not up for the madness either. I won't go into details but there were far more bad moments than good and it's something I refuse to put myself through anymore. We have a big family gathering with the exact same people 4 days prior so it's not like I'd be missing out on seeing them. The only people we wouldn't see would be my grandparents and as you all know, unfortunately grandma doesn't know Christmas Day from a Wednesday anymore. There were some serious issues with her this time that tells ME it's time to pull the plug on dragging her out especially to large gatherings but no one else will feel that way. (Her demeanor was fine, it was physical issues out of her control) As far as my step-grandpa is concerned, we're kind of done with him. His neglect of her ever growing needs, continuing to strip away her dignity for all to see coupled with my family's head in the sand attitude is more than I can tolerate on a normal day. much less Christmas Day. I won't do it anymore. We plan to make the whole traveling out of state for Christmas a one time thing but honestly, we both said we would've been happier skipping the "festivities" and playing with our toys and chillin'. Given how much I busted my ass baking crap only to walk in on an already full dessert table and half of each dish left at the end. I will move my spice cake from Christmas day to the Christmas gathering a few days prior. It's apparent that by Christmas day everyone is tired of the sweets, brings their crap from home and dumps it on the table. Not busting my hump anymore.
Oh and those noodles we fought so hard for? They burned them. I don't mean black noodles but you can't turn noodles on the "nuke" setting to get them done faster because it will burn the gravy!!! They were completely unpalatable but because we fought so hard for them, we had to load up, smile and choke them down. When fat people don't go back for seconds, there's a problem. She asked if I wanted leftovers and of course I said yes and they went straight down the disposal when we got home. The smell of them when the lid came off actually triggered my gag reflex. Go ahead and do your dang cheap short cut food from here on out because I'm flexing my new motto..."if you don't care, I don't care."
So yeah. We're done. I'm actually more stressed thinking of how I'm going to tell my mom we're not doing Christmas next year so I should probably get that over with soon because not having a panic attack every day sounds like something I can get on board with.
Oh and I need sleep. Like...big time. Three days worth sounds about right.
So please, share that you had a better holiday! It's all I wished for for you guys!
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