Tuesday, October 13, 2015
My bad social habit
I've got a confession to make. I think I'm an interrupter. I don't know where it came from. I'm guessing maybe family functions where many would gather at once and spirited excitement and the want to be heard would ensue. It's something I never noticed growing up and no one has ever said anything to me about it. I think it's gotten worse since I work from home because I have so little interaction with others that I just word barf like they're about to ban speech. I'm sure I make people regret asking what I've been up to because it's (no offense) "someone other than the Mr to talk to!" I love the Mr of course but you know how it is when you talk to someone you don't see all the time. So my excitement to see other humans in the wild could probably get overwhelming and off putting to people. I do try to make sure I ask them what they've been up to and ask questions too. I'm not totally rude. I also think the way phone conversations are now play a role too. You know that cell phone delay? Well, you younger folks might not, it's just how it is now but back in the day when you talked to someone, you were hearing what they said, when they said it. Now with cell phones and VOip lines, there is a minimum of 1-3 seconds delay on conversations. I would think someone was done or couldn't hear what they said all the way because of the delay and I would find myself interrupting not because I was doing it but the delay was. I hate talking on the phone now because of that and I really love talking to people. So yeah, I blame technology! HA!
As with many things I see as I get older, I would find myself interrupting people and noticing it. (Until after the fact, of course) Sometimes the banter would continue as before and other times people would just be a little quieter because they probably figured they couldn't get a word in edgewise with my big mouth flappin', so why bother. It would make me feel bad but I could only imagine how it may have made the other people feel. It's not that I'm intentionally trying to do it, that I don't value what the person is saying or that I'm not listening. It truly is that I get excited about something and want to share in the excitement but just at the same time. I apparently didn't get the verbal timing gene.
Then I saw this saying on a blog a few weeks ago...
It really hit me and then it hurt me because to an extent it was true about me but it also didn't want people to get the impression I wasn't listening to them. I like listening to people. I like interacting with people but it may not be too fun interacting with me if you think I interrupt you because I think what I have to say is more important. That's not my intent and I know it can be misconstrued. The last thing I would want to do is make someone feel bad because I can't keep my excitement or passion on a subject in check.
It's something I really want to work on this year. I mean I don't want someone to start pointing out that I'm interrupting because then, knowing my smart ass side, I'd probably put a long pause on something to show I'm making that effort. Or depending on the time of the month, I might do the pause and say "oh may I speak now?" I know, I can be an a-hole...that comes from my paternal side. It's one of those things that will take a conscious effort because by the time I notice I'm doing it, I can't catch the words and put them back in my mouth. So I'll need to try to catch myself before I do it which I've tried and failed at miserably over the past few months. My ability to fly off the handle or jump to conclusions can also play a part depending on the situation. (You'd think with all the flying and jumping I'd be thinner.)
It's never too late to make a change...or at least attempt to.
What bad social habit do you have that you want to change?
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Labels: Deep Thoughts