Thursday, February 12, 2015

The Mr's perspective



Recently the Mrs. shared some insight with everyone about how we've started to finally get real with ourselves about the recent lack of “success along the weigh” and how we’re in the early stages of righting the ship so to speak. I wanted to provide a bit of my own perspective on things as maybe it will help some of you out there who either need to lose some weight or just have other goals they've been working towards that have continued to elude them.

When we started losing weight (not for the first time but for the first time we’d had any real success) I weighed 455 lbs. I had a lot of reasons to lose weight but the one reason that mattered most wasn't one of them at first - Me. I was frustrated, of course, with my weight but always kind of blamed it on other things. Outside forces. When we really got going with the weight loss it was after I’d had a bit of a health scare, a fatty liver. I don’t smoke or drink and yet here was proof that fat kills and it finally kind of kicked my arse into gear. We did so amazingly well and I owe a ton of that success to the Mrs. because she not only lost more than me but it was her amazing cooking, unwavering attitude and resiliency that helped get both of us through some of the tougher times at the start and through it all.

When the weight was really rolling off of me people took notice. I was like some kind of celebrity at work, constantly getting compliments from people and secretly loving every minute of it to the point where it started to go to my head. Actually it did go to my head. I had every reason to be proud but I started to believe I was already at goal the way people were talking.  They’d say “you look skinny now” and stuff that honestly makes no sense for someone who, even at my lowest weight, was still 6 feet tall and 265 lbs. What’s funny is how all those same people not only stopped commenting but I get the feeling like they’re afraid to say anything at all since I've gained back 30 lbs. Sure I haven’t gone on some huge backslide. The Mrs. pointed out that we kind of have our vacations (mostly) to blame for our lack of progress but deep down I know it has even more to do with just how comfortable I got being 265. I was pretty happy there to be honest and I was more than willing to stay there and maintain that if I couldn't get the weight loss engine to budge any further.

It’s when the compliments stop that you first start to realize what should have been obvious all along. I’d gotten complacent. We were still doing all the right things during the week. From time to time we’d go a bit overboard on our cheat day and know we screwed ourselves a bit and then we’d make adjustments. I still believe the cheat days are important but I think we both know there are adjustments that were made but not entirely followed. We both know we can and will do better there.

Ultimately, though, we've spun our wheels for a few years now and it’s finally caught up to us. The good thing is we are taking notice of it now before it’s too late and back to square one again. I think that is the point I’d like to make. The whole idea of success, at least in my journey, doesn’t always come from meeting your goals 1-2-3. Sometimes you have to adjust things as you go and real success comes from learning from your mistakes, quickly if you can, making the right adjustments and tweaks, and getting right back to the goal you made. I firmly believe we are doing that now. We have a lot to figure out yet.  We’re still in that adjustment phase. I know the Mrs.will share what we learn from this and hopefully all of you can benefit from it too.

In a way I finally realized that after all the initial weight loss success, all the compliments, all the glory, I still have to finish this and it’s really all within my power to do so. I know that the person
beside me through all of this will help me and I know I will do whatever it takes to help her too.  I think we’re finally waking up from a slumber of complacency and that has me as excited and focused as ever!


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7 comments:

  1. Complacency is always dangerous. Whether it's weight loss, driving a car, on the job, or any other area of our lives. We get to that point where we think we're ok to be on "auto pilot", but really it can be just as damaging as outright neglect. Thank you for sharing your perspective.

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  2. Excitement was the right word. If your not excited about doing something its easy to give it up. I got a new workout from the gym yesterday and I am excited to see what new changes that will make in my body. Hopefully that will be my plateau buster, cause it sure was a gut buster yesterday (ow) LOL
    Good on both of you and here is to a new year with new losses!

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  3. Great post, Mr.!! You mailed it. Sometimes along the way you have to make adjustments, change it up a bit. It does get harder to lose as you get lighter. Losing those last 20 pounds to get to goal is so much harder than losing that initial 20 pounds when you are morbidly obese like I was. Glad you and your sweet Mrs. are working on making those changes, because even though you have both regained your health, which is really the most important thing, it is also important to finish the journey. That being said, once you hit that elusive goal, it's not really EVER over! So you really never 'finish," do you? You have to just keep doing what you've been doing, for the rest of your life. And as hard as that might be, it is so worth it!

    Sometimes I want people to pay me compliments again, just because I have managed to keep (most) of the weight off for almost four years. But it doesn't happen. People expect you to always look the same, because they have no problem maintaining a weight. With us, it's a struggle each and every day and still it is no longer is recognized by others, like it was when the weight was dropping. It's a fact of life.

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    Replies
    1. Er...you didn't MAIL it, you NAILED it.

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    2. I really enjoyed reading what Mr. had to say. It is so true.
      Thanks for adding your view.

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  4. You two are so amazing. I love the very simply stated profound truth the Mr. tossed in so casually: ...and it's really all within my power to do. Hearty amen. Love to you both.

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  5. I'm a firm believer in "progress not perfection". It makes it easier to have flexibility in a food plan when it's not so rigid to the point of no longer working. For whatever reason our bodies stop responding to the very things that worked so well at one point, so tweaking is essential and you and the Mrs have figured that out and will do what's best for YOU, and I think that's marvelous! It's truly a day by day process that can be very exciting when "you're all in". The best is yet to come for you both!

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