Monday, November 12, 2012
We had an out of town engagement last week and imbibed on deep dish pizza and cupcakes. The dude gave us a free one because we got in before closing. You'd think that would be solely responsible for my grotesque gain Saturday but I was already up those four before we went. The next day, my weight hadn't changed and I added another day of exercise so that I burned 800 calories more than my personal requirement for the week. (5000+ calories total) My system was all messed up and weigh in day I was bloated as hell. The Mr was up as well. This was not a good combo for our mindset.
We were trying to get some stops in on our way out of town at a couple of antique places and we had a couple of restaurants all loaded up in the GPS and of course every one of them was closed. Our time table was getting shorter before we had to meet my friend and I was frankly a little ticked that we had to settle for this crappy deli in a cow town. The sub I got ended up being pretty good but as I waited for it, I was stewing, he was stewing and by the time we reached the bakery that was one of our destinations, all resolve was gone. We both didn't care, said so and said we'd deal with the consequences later. It was ugly. Delicious...and ugly. I thought the worst was over as we enjoyed the day with my friend. We drove home and the gluttony continued for dinner. When I got home there were some emails waiting for me that fed into my irritation. Despite being full, I jammed more down my throat and was miserable; so much so that sleeping horizontal was not in the picture. My mind was racing thinking of all of the different directions I am being pulled and I couldn't sleep.
I finally couldn't take it anymore and got up and cleaned the photography studio which had doubled as party decor central for the Mr's shindig as well as the studio with no props being put away. It was depressing to look at and stressful so I thought if I could cross that off the list, I would feel better and maybe help digestion from being upright. I threw away scraps of paper, twine, raffia and just general crap. I got all of my place mats and napkins in one spot and saw the top of our desk for the first time in months. My beautiful chair from West Elm was buried too and I rescued it. Come 4:30am I did everything I could without getting loud and went to bed. I fell asleep for 15 minutes before becoming restless and went on about 60-90 minutes of sleep Sunday but I was excited because I was going to get the duvet cover I wanted from Pottery Barn.
I woke up with the worst headache from grinding my teeth in addition to still feeling full. The pain was horrible. The Mr came in so I could get ready and I told him about the emails, we griped for a little while and I got up. I could feel a horrible depression coming over me. It was grocery day so off we went at 8am and got to it. It felt like we were rushing through the stores really quickly and we knew we were forgetting stuff. Target was full of awesome Christmas stuff and I couldn't even get excited about it. I just moped around like someone had shot my dog. I wasn't even excited about getting my duvet and I've been checking the website every day for a sale that's never coming. All of the joy had been drained from me from one day to the next. We got home and I had a bowl of cereal...passing up the frosted donut we had freezing from the bakery (we do it every winter so we don't have to make road trips out there and vacuum freeze them). They hadn't made it to the Food Saver yet so I found myself obsessing over it. I asked the Mr to sit next to me as I felt sorry for myself and started doubting everything about me. Everything from who I am to why I'm doing this blog to feeling like I just wanted to run away and live somewhere else. (With him of course!) Then his work phone rang...
Yeah, I knew what that meant. Our Sunday was going to be shot. Willpower lost. Open mouth, insert donut. The rest immediately went into the vacuum sealer so we wouldn't be tempted any more.
One hour passed...two...four...six...and seven hours.
The Mr asked if we should just do a strength workout since he was still on his conference call. I told him it felt like if we did half a workout it would be the beginning of the end for us and our spiral would get worse. He agreed and we did 25 minutes of HIIT 25 and 25 minutes of free weights. I burned 900 calories and felt good that we decided to do a 'real' workout.
Tick tock...eight...and finally nine hours later, the Mr was done, Pottery Barn was closed and the house looked like a craft store and grocery store had exploded. (I had to keep busy somehow while he was working) The Mr was kind enough to do dishes and we settled in for the night.
I'm not proud of how we reacted to this horrible mood and it is rare we're on the same page in a bad way but I pray we're past the worst of it. Yeah so those of you who look to me as the model of willpower and what to do, sorry to burst your bubble. Some days...I suck.
On another note, this week I'll be bringing you some great Thanksgiving recipes that I hope you guys will love. I know we do!
How do you deal with going off the rails in a big way when 'getting right back to it' or any other cheerleadery crap makes you want to gag?
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