Wednesday, June 13, 2012

I annoyed myself

Oh God, we were those people at the restaurant last night.  My aunt, uncle and cousin were late getting there and after they got settled, my cousin started asking about calories, talking about workouts, calories burned, how much muscles hurt...you know, shop talk for those of us on the weight loss ride and friggin' annoying to anyone else who isn't.  You could tell people were annoyed with our "lifestyle" banter and I almost felt like I was listening to our conversation outside of myself and thought "damn, we're annoying!"

I would've apologized to everyone for it but he is doing so well and is so proud to be seeing results that I will do anything to help support him even if that means subjecting everyone else to listening to how healthy people talk.  I likened it to hearing mothers go on and on about their kids and the people without them sit there with their eyes glazing over praying they move on to another subject.  I'll be honest, I'm excited the Mr and I have someone else to share our enthusiasm for this lifestyle/journey/insert cliche phrase here because we are definitely in the minority in our family.  We used to be on the other side of the coin and want to spit at anyone who started talking about losing weight because if you don't acknowledge or engage the person talking about it, you can pretend it doesn't apply to you as well.  So I get it.  I just wish other family members would "get it" on our side now so they could live longer and better lives.  Sigh.  I'll just have to hope we'll be an example and along with my cousin, hope we can inspire others to follow suit.

Do you cringe hearing yourself talk about your healthy lifestyle "poison" (Zumba, Cross Fit, running, etc) because you swore you'd never be one of those people?

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27 comments:

  1. At least you didnt START the conversation. If someone else baits you into discussing your "obsession" then too bad for the other folks at the table. They can talk amongst themselves or work to change the subject.

    I'll admit, I've been "that person" WITHOUT bait. And not just with my "healthy lifestyle" either. I used to be very much absorbed into a computer game and if someone would bring it up I'd be off and running yapping about it (talk about dorky!). And if someone mentions my crafts (and asks to see them) I totally become the parent, trotting out pics and bragging on them.

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    1. No, I know better than to start the conversation. I didn't want it pushed on me when I was at my heaviest, I certainly don't want to push it on anyone else. But hey, he asked! I'm sure when they got home his parents were like "PLEASE don't bring up weight loss when we're trying to enjoy our 3500+mg platter of fried food!" LOL

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  2. I have several overweight friends and I'm careful not to discuss my "lifestyle" in front of them unless THEY bring it up. I do feel like I have to walk on tippy toes around people who seemingly don't care, but I've worked extremely hard to get down to the weight I am, and I work extremely hard to stay there, so if my healthiness offends someone, I apologize! I don't think I ever thought I'd be this "into" a healthy lifestyle, but I am careful not to push it on anyone.

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    1. I know that feeling, like you are somehow going to offend people by talking about the way you live a healthy life. But even typing that statement is just crazy. "Sorry my HEALTH offends you!" HA!

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  3. Sometimes, but usually I don't bring it up. If someone else starts the conversation or asks a question I can't really be held responsible. I do try to keep it to a minimum. I do occasionally have to bite my tongue though - like when the manager of Curves tells people "plain tea counts as water". Ummmmm, no. But she's a nice lady and her other nutrition/fitness advice is sound.

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    1. That's right, if someone brings it up, I think it's fair game.

      I'm not getting in on the tea debate. ;)

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  4. I guess I never really found "those" people annoying when I was on the other side of the fence. I did, however, want to crawl inside myself and die when people would start talking about losing weight and the whole she-bang. I always felt like they were looking at me but not looking at me if you know what I mean. Like they wanted to give me the "a-ha" "light bulb" moment that we all know can only happen when we are really ready for it to happen. Now, when people talk to me about my success and ask questions, I try to be extra sensitive about that. To be honest, people have never really been mean or rude to me about my weight problem but I always felt attacked. It was nothing on their part at all, it was just me hating myself and wishing for magical change that never really came. Like everybody else, I wanted a quick answer with the least amount of work. Guess what, good thing I didn't want any longer because that clearly wasn't happenin'! I say steal the conversation, enjoy your success and be glad you are helping another person on their "journey". If anybody else is annoyed that's really their problem not yours. :)

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    1. I felt the same way when I was on the other side of the fence...attacked. Even though no one ever said a word to me about my weight even at my highest. You're right it is their problem so pffft! HA!

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  5. I don't start the conversation about that myself. I remember all too well being annoyed and uncomfortable around people who talked incessantly about what they were doing to lose weight or get fit, so I try to NOT be one of those people, or at least not be the one starting it. If someone else asks or brings up the subject, though, I'm more than happy to "talk shop" about healthy eating and workouts--I just try not to take over the conversation and keep it there forever. :D

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    1. Yep, we don't either unless it's brought up. Then it's out of our hands! :)

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  6. If someone wants to talk about healthy living with me, I'm all over it. I LOVE to talk about this kind of stuff and really don't care if it annoys others or not. I had to listen to so much of that kind of talk when I was fat, and honestly back then, it was embarrassing, because these skinny people would be talking about diet, and there I sat, morbidly obese, and I was doing NOTHING about it.
    Like you say, your cousin needs your encouragement as everyone does. You and the Mr. have each other, the rest of us need to find an outlet for our Healthy Talk. I use commenting on your blog and my own Spark blog to do it. I think talking about it keeps us motivated, so KEEP TALKING!!!

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    1. I love talking about it as well with people who are enthusiastic about it. I won't just like bring it up out of the blue or something but if someone asks and wants to "talk shop", I'm all over it too. If people who don't want to hear it are offended, I figure they can talk amongst themselves if nothing else is being said.

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  7. Well holy cow, never knew I was annoying! Actually, all of our friends and family are interested in the subject, so I don't think anyone gets annoyed. From my 80 year old parents all the way down to our 13 year old son, we are all into improving our health.

    I just avoid pushing about the freaking diet soda many of my family still drinks.

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    1. Consider yourself lucky. I wish we had a place to talk openly about it without feeling like we were making other people uncomfortable.

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  8. OMG...story of my life! I get annoyed with myself all.the.time. For everything under the sun. I have no clue how my hubs has dealt with me for close to 6 yrs!

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    1. LOL! Don't you wish you could step outside yourself and say "self...zip it!" HA!

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  9. This is an interesting one. For me it all depends on how the conversation goes... the newest 'diet fad of the day' conversations annoy me at any time (and people with 14% body fat talking about how they need to 'lose weight')... if the conversation is generalized, health/lifestyle (as opposed to weight loss) focussed, and reciprocal, I really enjoy learning new things and seeing anything from the point of view of another. When the 'conversation' is nothing more than a self-absorbed diatribe/homily/dissertation, I'm annoyed regardless of the topic (your kids/grandkids, weight loss, politics, religion, your hobby, your cat, your dog, your illness, etc. - and my feelings have nothing to do with my own state of being - now that I have a child I still do not want to talk 'kids' all of the time).

    I personally go to great lengths to avoid talking about my weight/health and weight loss efforts. My journey feels too personal to expose it to the scrutiny and opinions (often very different than my own) of just anyone. If someone asks (and my sense is that they are genuinely interested - as opposed to just curious, catty or superior), I'll briefly respond and then I'm ready to move onto other things. If I'm curious about someone else's journey, I will occasionally ask. Otherwise, I'd rather talk about other things.

    Having said all of that, it would be a huge shame if others in the family can't be excited and supportive of your and your cousin's journey/success, and 'be disturbed on their own time'! There is a time and place to get excited and mutually supportive (I dislike mean-spirited people more than I do tedious, one-sided conversation)... though I can see where at the supper table in a restaraunt wouldn't be seen as that place by those not involved in the conversation, LOL! I think your cousin is blessed to be able to share in your wisdom, enthusiasm and support no matter where the conversation happens!

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    1. Yeah I just kind of smile and politely nod if the newest fad diet is mentioned. My cousin started that way but it was more he wanted to read up on different ways of eating so he could decide what was right for him. Luckily he came around. I don't say anything to my family about our weight loss or anything related to it because they don't ask so I figure they don't want to know. Fine with me I suppose.

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  10. LOL I was just thinking this about myself the other day with running talk... I am sure my friends and family are doing all they can to not roll their eyes at me when I get going!

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    1. HA! I'm sure when I was able to call to mind the calories on their menu for him when he asked and knew the price of TJ's mahi mahi burgers that they all wanted to throw up. But I don't really want to hear about crafting either so we all have our interests that aren't necessarily the interests of others. Hee hee

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  11. Oh yeah. I catch myself doing that sometimes about workouts and how it's not an option to not exercise, so 4:45am is the time that works for me, otherwise I'll make an excuse not to do it after work. I have daggers flying at me and I'll think, "oh crap, that sounds rather conceited, doesn't it?" Even though that's not my intention (my self-esteem is way too low for that! LOLOLOL!), but I know how it feels to be on the other end of that conversation and I'd just say "mmm hmm" and change the subject. I find myself more quiet when the subject of weight loss comes up, because I know my own struggles, and I don't want to be one of "those" people. The kid analogy you used was spot on!!

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    1. I don't think that's conceited at all. I think it's good that people know you're committed even if it's not the same things they choose to be committed to. HA, you like the analogy? I'm good until it's been 20 minutes with no sight of taking a breath but if there is no reciprocal interest in my life as well then it's like "m'kay, it's been fun."

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  12. I find myself really watching that, mostly because if I backslide I wont get anyone thinking "oh your so diet friendly now aren't you. Think your so much better...blah blah blah." LOL I want my results to speak for me I guess.

    Cheezchik32

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    1. Oh yeah, you know there are people that are waiting for us to fail. That's why we never announced we were doing this because you kind of get that eye roll like "SURE you're going to lose weight. You haven't done it up to now, wake me when you're serious!"

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  13. I think it's like that with a lot of things. People get passionate about what's important to them. It's great that you were able to endure his zeal and not discourage him even when you wanted to douse him with your water glass. lol I have family members who move from one thing to the other and are sold out for it, completely, and they try to drag you into it (any number of ITs) and it honestly feels like they're trying to drown you in their excitement. One whole sector of our family is into some kind of juice that is a miracle wonder. They can't call for birthdays or holidays but can call you every single week to goad you into one of their product's meetings. lol It can be exhausting, but more power to whoever it is that has something to be passionate about... if only we can survive it!

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  14. Well, I'm sure part of it is that they're envious. I will admit, the first time I lost weight, I did talk about it. A lot. But now I talk about it less, I think because I don't want to jinx myself. ;)

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